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Discussion for marriage-minded members seeking foreign brides for marriage and serious long-term relationships.
No BS... no desire for mongering... dead serious here.
i want a good woman to carry my seed so that I may have proper heir to my legacy. But seriously I just want to get married settle down. I want to simply devote myself to a single woman and treat her right.
I tried that in the US but of course the women don't appreciate guys like me. So what's my best bet? I'm financially independent now (finally) and ready to travel. I have no problem permanently relocating abroad.
Are their any legit dating\marriage sites left? Where you can just simply meet some real-life girls and get to know them before jumping on a plane? Please advise.
What kind of girls do you like? I mean, do you like white girls, Asian girls, black girls, Latina? Are you attracted to just about any type? Culturally, what are you looking for? The most conservative culture you can find? Conservative cultures can have some ideas that seem rather alien to you. What about religion? Do you have a religion? What are you looking for in that regard?
My wife is Indonesian. We lived in a city in the US that had an Indonesian community and they would get together every so often, eat food together, etc. At the end of the fasting month they'd have a meal, and people would get together. The Muslims would come to the Christmas dinner. There was one white guy who knew an older Indonesian lady there. He'd dated an Indonesian long distance, and she ended up marrying another man. He liked Indonesian women. He seemed like a good quality guy. We got to know him and had him over for Thanksgiving dinner along with a few other singles who didn't have a place to go. My wife showed him some pictures of single cousins on Facebook. She still has one cousin she may want to introduce to him, but he rarely uses Facebook himself. We've had other people for dinner, and if the guy seemed like a good catch, she might show some cousins pictures on Facebook. No marriages have been made this way that I know of.
If you want to find a wife overseas, you could start with first generation immigrants from the country you are interested in finding a wife in. You might also find some first-generation immigrants who are single and looking for spouses, but who still have values from their home country.
I heard several years ago that 18% of newly married couples met online. That wasn't an international figure. I knew a few single women in Indonesia in the early 2000's who met husbands online. One of them was 40, fairly attractive, and single who'd come to our house for a get-together. She asked the question that a lot of young Indonesian women who liked white men asked my wife-- how do you find a white husband. They wouldn't ask it so directly, but that is what they were getting at. I suggested trying to meet someone online. She did, cam back to our house when we had something for New Year's. She'd met a guy online and had gotten engaged. She married him and moved to Virginia. A couple of other women we knew in their 30's met men in Virginia and married them around that time.
I think online sites have turned into commercial enterprises. I saw a documentary and YouTube clips about how they'd use pictures of models. I think these were 'cupid' sites, too. Men might be writing letters in response on some of the sites. So if I were single and looking, I might consider free online sites where they just sell ads and their business model is not set up where the site can make money by ripping you off.
But getting an introduction through some girl's cousin or aunt may seem more real. The girl may take you more seriously, and you are less likely to get a scammer who will try to rip her wife's friend off.
It sounds like I have to put the time in; become part of the community. Which I don’t mind doing; I just want to know I’m investing my time building a new life in the place where I’m going to find my future wife. It’s a gamble and if I’m wrong, I won’t really know until years have been invested.
So I guess I must decide on and fully commit to the country before I even think about the girl.
Everything you described you can have without having to marry a girl. Marriage changes the balance of power in favor of women so they can nag, cajole, age, and wrinkle without any fear of negative result from the man.
Relocate to anyplace abroad where you like the local women and take up with a good girl, but never marry, ever especially if you are a wealthy man. When you marry a girl abroad, you quite often marry her entire family so you will be viewed as the cash cow forever.
Also, dating sites are a waste of time for men. Women use them for ego boosts. Go out there and meet women face to face and in person so you know what you are getting instead of a fat, narcissist who posted photos from 5 years ago.
If you travel and are as affluent as you say, look into a better alternative such as Men Going Their Own Way which will give you the blueprint wherewithal to thrive and prosper as a man for the rest of your life.
Boxman, being a guy who knows what he wants is great. I invite you to stick around and sort through the chaff to find what you can use to better yourself. Marriage? You can get all the benefits of marriage without the drawbacks, and there are a handful of countries with plenty of choice women to choose from. Of course, getting there is the challenge. So like I said, stick around and you'll likely get acquainted with the planning and whatnot. I can even put you in touch with some fellows who have made the transition overseas and are loving their lives. Just avoid the fringe groups like "Men Going Their Own Way" and you'll be fine.
The Grey Menace.
I think initially you should choose a region. Either South America, SE Asia or Eastern Europe and visit several countries within that area to decide which country has the best vibes. You may have read a thread created a month or so a go by a guy who moved to Cambodia without knowing a great deal about it and he disliked it.
As for dating sites - I wouldn't recommend them. It's like sifting through a den of thieves.
I'm not sure effeminate and shrill men like yourself should be advising newcomers on marriage and women. You can barely see the forest for the trees in life if your posting history is any indication.
Exactly. Like Zambales here said, each region has a particular type of woman with her own background and culture and whatnot. You gotta figure out what you like and go from there.
I second that. Avoid dating sites to the core. Avoid them just as hard as mgtow.
The Grey Menace.
What a quick change for Contrarian Expat, from anti-marriage to marriage minded. Since he is posted in the marriage-minded only section, that must mean he is marriage minded now.
So Contrarian, when are you going to pop the question to that teenage girl?
Good perspectives and thanks for sharing. I’m kind of surprised by the universal hate for paid dating sites. Are they really all scams?
... what about romance tours? Have they all turned into bullish*t, too?
If you have unlimited time in a foreign country, you don't need a romance tour. What kind of women do you like? Go to that country. Meet them. Live there. Get girlfriend. Don't get married for years or maybe forever. You can have a nice life.
Have you ever been married? Why get married now?
Guys often fall into the trap of believing the Hollywood myths about marital bliss, or the pressure from their religious obligations, or the lies from disingenuous men who want other men to join them in marital misery to try to justify that their own marriage was not a mistake.
If married men only knew how good it gets for unmarried men later in life, they would smack their wives out of their homes.
I can only speak out of my own experience, (I left Europe for Asia more than 40 years ago, never came back)
1 - All what you see around in USA, UK, Australia, but also in Western Continental Europe is nothing but an absolute joke and a high risk. Not even willing to try. This includes women of any race! It's not only about 'white women'.
2 - Dating sites - in most of them men outnumber women 6:1 or more, and it is said that anyway 80 percent of all profiles contain misleading information or are even a fake of a person who does not exist.
Same seems to be true with introduction companies, offering tours. Many of these girls are anything else but marriage-minded - more likely acting as a hostess - anyway, you might enjoy a nice but rather expensive vacation in the Philippines or in Russia or Brazil... but I don't think you really need that.
3 - If you have time (most important) and some money (not really so important, as travel expenses to overseas are not so expensive anymore) I would take some vacation and look around in other countries, outside of the Western world.
Ask yourself what are your preferences - what kind of girl do you expect to meet? In which country?
For black women, go to Africa, for Asian women go to Asia, for white women maybe Latin America or Siberia etc...
Anyway, if you consider international/interracial marriage, be prepared to get on an airplane...long trips, but necessary, always check out how this girl is living in her country...
4 - If you really find a woman you should seriously consider if it makes sense to bring her back to the States or if you prefer to move to her country. - It is always better you move and let the girl where she is.
5 - Some knowledge of foreign languages will be very helpful - do not expect your girl to speak only English with you, while you cannot understand even a single word of her native language.
The actual dating sites aren't scams although some do invent devious tricks. Nowadays, they're basically the go-to place for women who are looking for a better life in the West and in many instances; for their families to be supported financially as well.