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I actually want to marry a girl

Discussion for marriage-minded members seeking foreign brides for marriage and serious long-term relationships.

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Zambales
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by Zambales » November 2nd, 2017, 11:32 pm

MrMan wrote: It's good to have someone else who takes care of stuff. I don't have to go home and cook a nice meal or go to the trouble of going out to dinner. My wife is an excellent cook.
That's one of the advantages.
MrMan wrote: I've also got someone who arranges a social calendar and activities on the weekend.
Sounds more like a PA than a wife. How's that work anyhow? Does she phone up your friends to ask them if they'd like to meet up for a beer with you? Kind of strange IMO. I wouldn't take kindly to overbearing behaviour like that.

Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 3rd, 2017, 3:49 am

MrMan wrote: I've also got someone who arranges a social calendar and activities on the weekend.
Zambales wrote: Sounds more like a PA than a wife. How's that work anyhow? Does she phone up your friends to ask them if they'd like to meet up for a beer with you? Kind of strange IMO. I wouldn't take kindly to overbearing behaviour like that.
Exactly. It seems to me Mr"Man" has convinced himself that being dominated by his wife who drags him to relatives' homes, shopping with the girlfriends, and everything else men generally hate is a good thing. That level of brainwashing is just to profound too ignore.

Poor guy...
Last edited by Contrarian Expatriate on November 3rd, 2017, 2:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MrMan
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by MrMan » November 3rd, 2017, 11:41 am

Back when we were in the US, my wife used to have a network of Indonesian friends. They'd talk, and then we'd get invited to these food parties where we could eat Indonesian food. That's an example of a 'social calendar' type thing. Or she'll tell me about something going on on the weekend and we might go. I don't have time to find all this stuff out during the week. That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. We've been busy of late, so there isn't a lot of this 'social calendar' or weekend activity stuff for fun going on. Sometimes I just want to stay where I live, hit the fitness center and jacuzzi, go to church, and go out for dinner.

Contrarian Expat, if you hire a maid to wash your clothes and do housework, does that make you a big baby. A woman cooking and cleaning isn't a man being a big baby. That kind of stuff happens in relationships where the man is in charge. It certainly did in past generations.

That ad looks to me like feminist propaganda to get men to do housework.

I'm not averse to doing housework if it needs to be done. I don't want to live in a pig sty. Back when we didn't have a maid and my wife had just given birth, I'd do housework, too. Now, I've got kids old enough to wash dishes and things like that.

Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 3rd, 2017, 2:52 pm

MrMan wrote:Back when we were in the US, my wife used to have a network of Indonesian friends. They'd talk, and then we'd get invited to these food parties where we could eat Indonesian food. That's an example of a 'social calendar' type thing. Or she'll tell me about something going on on the weekend and we might go. I don't have time to find all this stuff out during the week. That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. We've been busy of late, so there isn't a lot of this 'social calendar' or weekend activity stuff for fun going on. Sometimes I just want to stay where I live, hit the fitness center and jacuzzi, go to church, and go out for dinner.

Contrarian Expat, if you hire a maid to wash your clothes and do housework, does that make you a big baby. A woman cooking and cleaning isn't a man being a big baby. That kind of stuff happens in relationships where the man is in charge. It certainly did in past generations.

That ad looks to me like feminist propaganda to get men to do housework.

I'm not averse to doing housework if it needs to be done. I don't want to live in a pig sty. Back when we didn't have a maid and my wife had just given birth, I'd do housework, too. Now, I've got kids old enough to wash dishes and things like that.
It can be said that you exhibit a mild form of Stockholm Syndrome as you think your current servitude is a positive thing. It would be sad if it were not so pathetic.

If your kids are old enough, FIRE your wife by divorcing her to live as a free and whole man again. Have you gotten your testosterone levels tested? You might want to do that pronto as it seems you are running dangerously low with all your "Ma Marrije iz guud" rationalizations.

MrMan
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by MrMan » November 6th, 2017, 2:31 am

Contrarian Expatriate wrote: Have you gotten your testosterone levels tested?
You might want to do that pronto as it seems you are running dangerously low with all your "Ma Marrije iz guud" rationalizations.
If you want to communicate, use proper English. I'm not that good at Ebonics.

As far as the testosterone goes, everything is working well on my end. It sounds like you may have done some research in this area, since you are in your 50's, and testosterone goes down. Do you have any experience with symptoms of low testosterone? What is your experience with this?
It can be said that you exhibit a mild form of Stockholm Syndrome as you think your current servitude is a positive thing. It would be sad if it were not so pathetic.

If your kids are old enough, FIRE your wife by divorcing her to live as a free and whole man again.
I suspect you are just doing this to pique at me as some sort of rhetorical posturing. Maybe you chuckle to yourself when you write this stuff, and its just entertainment. You seem to write well. I think to myself sometimes, surely he can't be gullible enough to believe this stuff he writes. If you do, you have really been brainwashed by these MGTOW videos, made by 'experts' whose qualifications are the ability to speak and put together a YouTube video, and maybe some experience with a nasty divorce.

I do have small kids, btw. What you are advocating here is one of the reasons western culture is as messed up as it is. You are advocating for disloyalty and betrayal. The danger of getting married is that one marries a disloyal woman-- disloyal like you just advocated me to be. It isn't right for a woman to dump her husband, whose invested his time and life into his marriage, because she gets bored or wants to 'finder herself' or some other nonsense. Men dumping their wives for similar reasons is bad, too. It's covenant-breaking, betrayal, and disloyalty that you advocate. I don't want to be a person like that.

Your advice is bad on so many levels. Men who go through divorce generally go through a lot of emotional suffering. So do the kids, sometimes, even if they are grown. Divorce is a vehicle for financial destruction, since two houses or apartments are required where there was once one. Family is vehicle, potentially, for saving and pooling resources.

You seem to think a man cannot be in a marriage without being a slave. It is strange how you, who apparently have never been married, seem to think you are an expert on the dynamics of every marriage out there? What is your experience with marriage? Were your parents married and your mother was very domineering toward your father? Were you raised by your mother who was very domineering toward you and any other men in the home. I don't have this fear. I grew up watching my mom do what my dad told her to do, so I cannot relate to this idea of yours that marriage puts men in slavery.

Maybe you lack experience having a relationship with a woman for a long time where you have to assert yourself and draw boundaries. Okay, I can understand that. But you shouldn't pretend you know what marriage is like and assume all men in marriage are in female-dominated relationships. My wife knows she must submit to me. I'm not domineering or overbearing, well, at least 99% of the time. I also have to keep up boundaries with her and call her if she steps over them. We need to do that with all kinds of relationships in life.

I think a continued theme here is your pretending to be an expert on marriage when you know little to nothing about what it is like to actually be married.

Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 6th, 2017, 2:37 am

MrMan wrote:
Contrarian Expatriate wrote: Have you gotten your testosterone levels tested?
You might want to do that pronto as it seems you are running dangerously low with all your "Ma Marrije iz guud" rationalizations.
If you want to communicate, use proper English. I'm not that good at Ebonics.

As far as the testosterone goes, everything is working well on my end. It sounds like you may have done some research in this area, since you are in your 50's, and testosterone goes down. Do you have any experience with symptoms of low testosterone? What is your experience with this?
It can be said that you exhibit a mild form of Stockholm Syndrome as you think your current servitude is a positive thing. It would be sad if it were not so pathetic.

If your kids are old enough, FIRE your wife by divorcing her to live as a free and whole man again.
I suspect you are just doing this to pique at me as some sort of rhetorical posturing. Maybe you chuckle to yourself when you write this stuff, and its just entertainment. You seem to write well. I think to myself sometimes, surely he can't be gullible enough to believe this stuff he writes. If you do, you have really been brainwashed by these MGTOW videos, made by 'experts' whose qualifications are the ability to speak and put together a YouTube video, and maybe some experience with a nasty divorce.

I do have small kids, btw. What you are advocating here is one of the reasons western culture is as messed up as it is. You are advocating for disloyalty and betrayal. The danger of getting married is that one marries a disloyal woman-- disloyal like you just advocated me to be. It isn't right for a woman to dump her husband, whose invested his time and life into his marriage, because she gets bored or wants to 'finder herself' or some other nonsense. Men dumping their wives for similar reasons is bad, too. It's covenant-breaking, betrayal, and disloyalty that you advocate. I don't want to be a person like that.

Your advice is bad on so many levels. Men who go through divorce generally go through a lot of emotional suffering. So do the kids, sometimes, even if they are grown. Divorce is a vehicle for financial destruction, since two houses or apartments are required where there was once one. Family is vehicle, potentially, for saving and pooling resources.

You seem to think a man cannot be in a marriage without being a slave. It is strange how you, who apparently have never been married, seem to think you are an expert on the dynamics of every marriage out there? What is your experience with marriage? Were your parents married and your mother was very domineering toward your father? Were you raised by your mother who was very domineering toward you and any other men in the home. I don't have this fear. I grew up watching my mom do what my dad told her to do, so I cannot relate to this idea of yours that marriage puts men in slavery.

Maybe you lack experience having a relationship with a woman for a long time where you have to assert yourself and draw boundaries. Okay, I can understand that. But you shouldn't pretend you know what marriage is like and assume all men in marriage are in female-dominated relationships. My wife knows she must submit to me. I'm not domineering or overbearing, well, at least 99% of the time. I also have to keep up boundaries with her and call her if she steps over them. We need to do that with all kinds of relationships in life.

I think a continued theme here is your pretending to be an expert on marriage when you know little to nothing about what it is like to actually be married.
Don't worry, one day you will know exactly to what I'm alluding. It will come without warning and without logical explanation, but it will come. Only then will you know that I was right.

I wish you luck when "it" comes to pass.

MrMan
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by MrMan » November 6th, 2017, 4:37 am

There you go pretending to be an expert when you don't know what you are talking about Contrarian Expat. You are not a clinical psychologist, and you are not a prophet.

Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 6th, 2017, 7:44 am

MrMan wrote:There you go pretending to be an expert when you don't know what you are talking about Contrarian Expat. You are not a clinical psychologist, and you are not a prophet.
This from the man who tries to come off as an expert of the Bible and Christianity. Boy, you really are projecting today!

You should know that I was certified in my state as a social worker many years ago and it was my job to refer people like yourself for mental health evaluation when, in my professional opinion, it was warranted.

MrMan
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by MrMan » November 6th, 2017, 10:19 am

Contrarian Expat,

Your the one who demonstrated he did not know what he was talking about in regard to the Bible, saying Paul argues for celibacy, so get a divorce. I showed you he said he wanted everyone to be celibate, but everyone has his gift of God, and then right after that says not to put away your wives.

What does your post show about your quality as a mental health worker if you think you can diagnose people over the Internet. I suspect if you held to the same professional standards you were taught, you would save the diagnosing to the psychologists? What kind of education do you have in psychology?

Did you send men to psychologists just for being married?

How could you have made enough money to retire early if you worked for the mental health department?

Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 6th, 2017, 10:36 am

MrMan wrote:Did you send men to psychologists just for being married?
Had I read Esther Vilar's book The Manipulated Man back then, I would have considered doing so.

The question is if you are so happy in your marriage, why are you so threatened by my pointing out the perils and pathologies of the married condition?

Such is a rhetorical question so I already know the answer :lol:

MrMan
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by MrMan » November 7th, 2017, 5:24 am

Contrarian Expat,

Maybe you feel threatened and you are projecting. You seem to. Why does the idea of someone being married and being happy having a family bother you so much? Could you be insecure about your life choices, maybe even a bit scared of not being able to pull the women when you start to age and your face and body start to sag a bit? Could you feel defensive of your anti-marriage for these reasons? Is that why you have been quick to call names and make bogus pseudo-psychological diagnoses across the Internet?

You even come into this forum which is for those who are marriage minded only, possibly motivated by insecurity over your own life choices. I'm not diagnosing, just speculating a bit as you like to do.

Btw, how many doctoral level psych seminars have you ever taken? I would have to figure out how to count mine, and whether stats and methods classes in a psych department should count.

Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 7th, 2017, 6:34 am

MrMan wrote:Contrarian Expat,

Maybe you feel threatened and you are projecting. You seem to. Why does the idea of someone being married and being happy having a family bother you so much? Could you be insecure about your life choices, maybe even a bit scared of not being able to pull the women when you start to age and your face and body start to sag a bit? Could you feel defensive of your anti-marriage for these reasons? Is that why you have been quick to call names and make bogus pseudo-psychological diagnoses across the Internet?

You even come into this forum which is for those who are marriage minded only, possibly motivated by insecurity over your own life choices. I'm not diagnosing, just speculating a bit as you like to do.

Btw, how many doctoral level psych seminars have you ever taken? I would have to figure out how to count mine, and whether stats and methods classes in a psych department should count.
Obviously, I struck a nerve with you and I am quite pleased that you are reacting accordingly.

Was it that you woke up one morning and wondered why you are tethered to such an aging, nagging, and declining wife?

The next step is to plan your escape either by divorcing her or separating from her. Since you have kids, this will influence your calculus but freedom from marital servitude and drudgery is a matter of when not if.

MrMan
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by MrMan » November 7th, 2017, 6:37 am

Contrarian Expat wrote,
Was it that you woke up one morning and wondered why you are tethered to such an aging, nagging, and declining wife?
Was your mother an aging, nagging and declining woman, which leads you to associate such ideas with marriage when discussing the topic with other men?

Contrarian Expatriate
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » November 7th, 2017, 1:35 pm

MrMan wrote:Contrarian Expat wrote,
Was it that you woke up one morning and wondered why you are tethered to such an aging, nagging, and declining wife?
Was your mother an aging, nagging and declining woman, which leads you to associate such ideas with marriage when discussing the topic with other men?
It's very telling that you bring up mothers in this conversation. Now I see why you had to go all the way to Indonesia to find a wife and have sex for the first time in your life.

Your life choices are just that, YOURS. Recognizing that you made an error by marrying, an Indonesian at that, is the first step toward correcting the problem.

Find yourself a good local attorney and fire your wife so that you can know the true freedom, bliss, and variety of life as a man unbound to your wife who is obviously causing you to react negatively.

"Fire your wife" information is below:

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/attachme ... id=1531701

MrMan
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Re: I actually want to marry a girl

Post by MrMan » November 7th, 2017, 1:46 pm

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:
MrMan wrote:Contrarian Expat wrote,
Was it that you woke up one morning and wondered why you are tethered to such an aging, nagging, and declining wife?
Was your mother an aging, nagging and declining woman, which leads you to associate such ideas with marriage when discussing the topic with other men?
It's very telling that you bring up mothers in this conversation. Now I see why you had to go all the way to Indonesia to find a wife and have sex for the first time in your life.

Your life choices are just that, YOURS. Recognizing that you made an error by marrying, an Indonesian at that, is the first step toward correcting the problem.

Find yourself a good local attorney and fire your wife so that you can know the true freedom, bliss, and variety of life as a man unbound to your wife who is obviously causing you to react negatively.

"Fire your wife" information is below:

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/attachme ... id=1531701
I am sorry for the experiences you had in your past that led to your hating marriage. I do not know the secrets of your upbringing which you do not want to share. If you do not want to share your pain on this forum, that is your right. Maybe if your mother and father had raised you better, you might not say rude and insulting things about other men's family members you do not know. Did your daddy help raise you? Is that how your parents raised you, or did you depart from their instruction?

I do find it strange that a black man on this forum who likes Russian girls would express racist views toward Indonesians or other Asians. Do you consider yourself to be racially superior? Did Indonesian girls reject you?

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