Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discussion for marriage-minded members seeking foreign brides for marriage and serious long-term relationships.
3 posts • Page 1 of 1
So you want a foreign bride....
The Mail Order Bride myth
Unfortunately for some, but fortunately for most of us, there is no such thing as Mail Order Bride, at least in a way that works today. The Wikipedia says that this is a very old term that applied to women from wealthy countries wanting to marry men living in their colonies or European women marrying American men. However, today it is widely used as a term of contempt (usually by your local women) against "younger girls from poor countries coming to take their men". They seem to think that you can choose a foreign woman through an agency catalogue and that she will be more than willing to come to you, without asking any questions, so long as you rescue her from her situation. Any man who thinks he can find a bride, this way, is heading for disaster.
The reality is that even though it is true that there are girls in those countries, who live in abject poverty, they simply do not have enough education or means to even register in the local marriage agencies. Furthermore, the more uneducated people are, the more afraid they are of foreigners and foreign countries that they know little about. Few of them would venture into the unknown. Most women looking for foreign men have education -many hold University degrees-, they mostly live in towns or cities, they have made an attempt to learn a foreign language -usually English- and many of them have jobs. They now have cellular phones and some have a car. So you can see that they are not exactly looking for someone who is going to offer them a roof over their heads and 3 meals a day.
The great majority of people, anywhere in the world, are reluctant to move away from their families, friends, places they know, their radio and TV and the like. To the ladies, who seriously look for a foreign man to marry, it is a major decision that they do not take lightly. Admittedly, there are some that just want to spend some time abroad, then return home, but I will tell you how to detect them.
Getting to the stage of "Happily married" to a foreign lady
Here is the good news (or bad news for some): Finding a foreign bride needs the same process as finding a wife in your own country. You need to meet for the first time, exchange information about each other, spend time together, do things together, meet each other's friends and relatives and other thing; then decide whether a long term relationship is going to work and make the decision to get married. So what is the benefit in spending time, spending money and risking being scammed in finding a foreign wife? I hear you say. Well, the possibilities of finding a younger and attractive lady that does not judge your worth by the salary you earn are very real. I will leave to the marriage agencies to convince you that foreign women are warmer, more caring, sexier and more willing to have children than the women of your country. Another plus that Russian ladies have, in particular, is that they take more care of their appearance than most Western women. They are more reluctant to "let themselves go" after they find a husband, too.
I am excluding the Asian arranged marriages from all these, which are not the subject of this writing.
When you read or hear stories in the media, they tend to focus on the worst things that have happened to men -and women- when looking for a foreign bride. Why should they write about a man who joined an agency, met the girl of his dreams, married her, had children and now they live happily together? This is boring and a non-story. Some of the worst things that have happened to foreign partner seekers are very rare, but they become widely known because the media has spread the stories. Here are a couple of examples:
- A wealthy American man married a model-like Russian girl, she squandered his money, smashed the Porsche he bought her and left him with an enormous legal bill for the divorce and a broken heart.
- An English taxi driver was conned, to the tune of 30,000 pounds, by an Asian girl who kept asking him for money sent to her in her country over a period of time; until she realised that she could not extract any more money from him and then dumped him.
Some of these stories have made it to the front page of tabloid newspapers and special reports on TV - and they are not just about scammers, they are also about things that have gone disastrously wrong. Frightening stories, aren't they? But the reality is that these things have happened as result of a combination of bad luck and bad judgment on the part of the man in question. Smaller cases of men getting ripped-off by $100 have happened to more men, including myself! But the reality is that these things happen within your own country anyhow. It is not the exclusive domain of foreigners preying on single men looking for a loved one in their country.
The ladies at the other end hear horror stories too, such as "A girl was conned by a Western man who said he wanted to marry her. Once he had her in his country, he got her to work in porn and prostitution". You need to realise that both the men and the ladies can be apprehensive when meeting prospective foreign partners, not just Western men looking for a bride in a far-away place.
What do foreign women look for, in men abroad?
I have said something about this subject in previous articles. If somebody made a Mori type of enquiry asking girls why they have decided to look for a foreign men, my guess is that one of the most common reasons given would be "because the men in my country are unreliable". In the case of Latin American women, the typical situation is that men get married but they still want to have girlfriends.
In the case of Russian ladies, the situation with men is somewhat worse, hence the larger proportion of Russian women in the foreign bride market. Many husbands disappear from the family home for 1 or 2 weeks at a time - e.g. their fathers or former husbands if they have been married-, then they come back for a few days and go away again. Where they go or what they do, nobody knows. It cannot be for business trips as many of them do not work or have jobs that do not require travel. This is very rare in the West. Then there is alcoholism among men; this is a problem in Russia but it has been exaggerated by the Western media. Another problem is that women over there see most men as having no future and lousy incomes to build up a family. This is despite the fact that these women work, too. There is domestic violence as well, but I do not think it is worse than in the West.
The few eligible men, in their country, can take their pick as to the girl they want to be with. In any event, wealthy Russian men have a wife, but then have a number of girlfriends. Worse still, a girl of 25, who would be in her prime in the West is already past her best years in the eyes of these men. They usually replace their 25 year old girlfriends with "new models" aged 17. Sad but true, for a lady approaching the age of 30 her best years are already behind her, in Russia that is. But they know that they are highly sought after by men in the West.
The economic situation and security of their own countries has something to do with their desire to find a foreign man. Also, they will not mind going to live in a country that -apparently- is doing well in its economy. However, I insist that leaving a "poor country" to live in a "rich one" is not the prime or only consideration for a woman to seek a foreign man. They just seem to associate "reliable men" with Western countries, which happen to be a bit more stable and wealthy.
If you bring Asian, Latin American or Russian women to your country, you are not going to impress them by taking them to a shopping mall or hypermarket. Many men still seem to have in their minds the old propaganda image of Russians waiting in line all day for a loaf of bread. And they think that Latin American women, from the provinces, are malnourished, when in fact they eat healthier food than in Northern countries. They may be impressed if you are an ordinary professional and everyone in your street has a large house with BMWs and Porsches parked in front, though.
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Check out our Dating Sites and International Romance Tours!
Special Offer! FREE 6 Month Membership on ForeignWomen.com! Sign up here.
Find Your Foreign Sweetheart Now! Try our international Dating Sites and Overseas Romance Tours!
IMO, the term "Mail Order Bride" is slanderous, as to paint both western men as predatory while painting non-western women who seek a traditional marriage as "oppressed/helpless victims". This has been done by the Jew-controlled media, as a means to shame western men who wish to avoid western women. It did work-for a time, but now it's no longer having an effect. Western women aren't on their egotistical shaming anymore b/c of the MGTOW movement. Instead, they're now trying to return to the traditional roles now, ahhahaa! Sucks for them, b/c men like me who've followed you on Youtube & now here on HappierAbroad have been doing so for close to 10 years. I honestly still remember the hope that your youtube videos gave men when I 1st watched them back in 2009-10. But I digress. There will always be articles in the Western media that demonize men for choosing non-western women.
Even the most feminine woman from any western nation is equal to the most androgynous woman an any non-western country.
Men age like wine, women age like milk-Tom Leykis
'Mail Order Bride' never was an accurate term. In the old days out west, American men would find out about some single woman in the East through a friend or relative, writer her, and have her move out west to marry. I don't know exactly when this became popular, but I'd imagine if there were 15-year-old men out in the Civil war, and half a million people died, there must have been a huge man shortage for a while. There were probably a lot of 30-year-old old maids willing to move west to work on a farm if they could have a man. Men moved west to get free land. They could find female penpals, write them, propose marriage, and have a woman come in on the stage coach to marry them. That's what I've read, at least.
They called that a 'mail order bride', but it wasn't mail order then. Both of them were making these extreme decision when the pickings were slim for normal means of courtship.
There have also been pen pal type catalogs to match up western men with foreign women for a long time. It's not the conventional way to meet. But it is not 'mail order,' either.
Now, a lot of people date online. If you do it internationally, they call the woman, 'a mail order bride.' that is kind of derogatory.
Nell said the 'Jew-controlled media' presents women who seek a traditional marriage as "oppressed/helpless victims". I'm not sure what this has to do with media being 'Jew controlled.' I'd imagine some of the ultra orthodox Jewish groups would be more inclined to have similar types of marriage arrangements, where they meet through friends and get matched up than Gentiles. The problem is a lot of these people in media, whether secular or Reformed Jews, or Gentiles, are left-wing types.