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The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina or Th

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby davewe » Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:22 pm

publicduende wrote:
You certainly got lucky, Dave, and your morena wife is lively, lovely and makes you feel decades younger. You have a sacrosanct right to be happy, and an even more sacrosanct right to choose your own path to happiness. And lucky you you are not living in the Philippines, like me, and nobody will ever crack one of those stupid/cynical/cruel jokes about foreigners liking 'em "exotic", or dark skinned being the only one who will ever want us, etc.


Thanks for the compliments. I have to add that you get far more criticism in the West than you can imagine. There will absolutely be remarks based on age, race (apparently I now have "yellow fever"), money, green cards, etc. Quick story: Janet and I were eating dinner at a resto. A 30ish couple sat near us. The wife continually turned around to look at us. I said to Janet, "She keeps looking back. Maybe she thinks if she keeps turning around and looking I will get younger!" Finally the woman turned around once more. Janet smiled and waved at her :) I cracked up! The woman never looked at us again.

So, just as in the Philippines where one might be shamed for his interest in a morena, I choose not to give a damn! This is in reality the biggest advantage to old age. Once you get to the point in life where you don't care what others think is correct - well it's a very freeing feeling and lots of stuff opens up.

BTW, we are moving to PH this summer. I assume there will be some looks, but in Dumaguete where there are plenty of expats, I expect it to be manageable. And the bottom line is - what do I care?
Check out my blog @ www.marriedafilipina.com
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby Lorenzo » Mon Feb 13, 2017 7:44 pm

publicduende wrote:Welcome back Lorenzo, however with a rather confused and confusing post.

Like many, you blame the increasing scarcity of good SEA girls who will give a foreigner, especially an adult one, the benefit of the doubt, to the monger culture plaguing Thailand, China, Indonesia and the Philippines. Yet you say you yourself lined up a few of these Indonesians, Chinese and Thais (probably via online sites) and had them as "great lovers" for a short amount of time, without wanting a LTR with any of them.

Your assessment is inaccurate. Not that I need to set the record straight - I was not mongering, I was looking for an LTR leading to marriage, honestly. The problem I encountered - and it as was not anticipated - is that Asian girls latch on Very quickly. Too quickly for me. How can I intend to marry a girl after 1 visit, yet these are the fantasies in these girls heads. So I stopped it all together to rethink my approach because I did not want to hurt any more girls. That said, they were hard to resist when they go back to your room - they just assumed some things - and they can be so sexy... :D :oops: :twisted:
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby OutWest » Mon Feb 13, 2017 8:26 pm

davewe wrote:
publicduende wrote:
You certainly got lucky, Dave, and your morena wife is lively, lovely and makes you feel decades younger. You have a sacrosanct right to be happy, and an even more sacrosanct right to choose your own path to happiness. And lucky you you are not living in the Philippines, like me, and nobody will ever crack one of those stupid/cynical/cruel jokes about foreigners liking 'em "exotic", or dark skinned being the only one who will ever want us, etc.


Thanks for the compliments. I have to add that you get far more criticism in the West than you can imagine. There will absolutely be remarks based on age, race (apparently I now have "yellow fever"), money, green cards, etc. Quick story: Janet and I were eating dinner at a resto. A 30ish couple sat near us. The wife continually turned around to look at us. I said to Janet, "She keeps looking back. Maybe she thinks if she keeps turning around and looking I will get younger!" Finally the woman turned around once more. Janet smiled and waved at her :) I cracked up! The woman never looked at us again.

So, just as in the Philippines where one might be shamed for his interest in a morena, I choose not to give a damn! This is in reality the biggest advantage to old age. Once you get to the point in life where you don't care what others think is correct - well it's a very freeing feeling and lots of stuff opens up.

BTW, we are moving to PH this summer. I assume there will be some looks, but in Dumaguete where there are plenty of expats, I expect it to be manageable. And the bottom line is - what do I care?


Dave,

Thats a good tale... We had one like that in Eastern Oregon in a resto as well. This middle age land whale was giving us the snake eye rhe whole time. As we are paying our tab, my wife decides that its time for one of those welcome home soldier boy kisses. I think there was steam blowing out Broomhilda's ears and my wife was giggling all the way to the car.
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby Signet » Mon Feb 13, 2017 11:35 pm

droid wrote:
The problem is YOU


I don't know why some guys seem to get such a high out of that concept.

I don't think it's an honest position since they disregard or brush off a lot of other variables. it just makes them feel better about themselves i guess.
Not saying there isn't weird guys out there, but these general accusations seem to be just for ego boosting.


Of course it's an ego boost. But when you have a forum seemingly dedicated to the concept of 'happier abroad,' with twenty topics about chemtrails, the world being surrounded by a wall of ice, Illuminati symbolism in pop music, seducing underage girls, and killing jews, plus another five topics about all women being useless whores, for every one article about something that actually involves 'abroad,' or even abstractly involves the idea of 'being happy,' it seems pretty obvious why some of the people are not finding girls, even in 'good' places. I imagine people occasionally get frustrated, which is why there is always a couple-month break between 'STOP BEING LOSERS ALREADY' topics.

They are kind of unseemly, in the same awkward sort of way that it would be unseemly to helicopter your dick in a public bathroom because you want to show it off, but they do make sense, lol.
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby Adama » Tue Feb 14, 2017 1:03 am

Lorenzo wrote:Why you can't land a great Filipina or Thai or Chinese lady?

STOP. LOOK INTO THE MIRROR. That's right. You have hang ups that project to others, weak lacking adequate alpha genetic material, inadequately employed, your old. You don't have game, confidence, or the right attitude. You don't show genuine respect. You're perceived as not being generous. You're in it just for the sex.


Most men don't know who they are, or what they are. Neither do they even know their proper place. They are confused and can't see reality. They only see the lies society has taught them, and they act according to them.

Many of them have the wrong goals in mind. They tell themselves they are looking for wives, but some just want to use women.

But I think the main problem is that most men don't have a clue how to do anything. They don't know what to do with women, how to proceed with them, what to say, how to motivate them, or anything. They're lost in a sea of ignorance, and that ignorance means they will lack confidence.

So not knowing themselves and not knowing what to do leads to this lack of confidence.
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby mentor » Tue Feb 14, 2017 8:02 am

Lorenzo wrote:
publicduende wrote:Welcome back Lorenzo, however with a rather confused and confusing post.

Like many, you blame the increasing scarcity of good SEA girls who will give a foreigner, especially an adult one, the benefit of the doubt, to the monger culture plaguing Thailand, China, Indonesia and the Philippines. Yet you say you yourself lined up a few of these Indonesians, Chinese and Thais (probably via online sites) and had them as "great lovers" for a short amount of time, without wanting a LTR with any of them.

Your assessment is inaccurate. Not that I need to set the record straight - I was not mongering, I was looking for an LTR leading to marriage, honestly. The problem I encountered - and it as was not anticipated - [b]is that Asian girls latch on Very quickly. Too quickly for me. [/b]How can I intend to marry a girl after 1 visit, yet these are the fantasies in these girls heads. So I stopped it all together to rethink my approach because I did not want to hurt any more girls. That said, they were hard to resist when they go back to your room - they just assumed some things - and they can be so sexy... :D :oops: :twisted:


I had the same problem too in my communications.
I can't believe that serious girls want me for serious relationship, just in a few weeks time.
I guess it is a cultural difference.
If I was for fun, this would be a nice feature.
But when you look for lifetime partner, then there is no way of deciding to proceed with a girl, even in some months time.

I wonder, and I want to talk with other experienced members here, how did they manage to keep knowing their future women, even for a 2 years period!!!
Hard to believe, after what I am encountering.
If they did not get from me any confirmation for relationship, they just abandon!!!
Are they serious?
I find it frustating, and I am trying to understand...
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby Lorenzo » Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:42 pm

mentor wrote:I had the same problem too in my communications.
I can't believe that serious girls want me for serious relationship, just in a few weeks time.
I guess it is a cultural difference.
If I was for fun, this would be a nice feature.
But when you look for lifetime partner, then there is no way of deciding to proceed with a girl, even in some months time.

I wonder, and I want to talk with other experienced members here, how did they manage to keep knowing their future women, even for a 2 years period!!!
Hard to believe, after what I am encountering.
If they did not get from me any confirmation for relationship, they just abandon!!!
Are they serious?
I find it frustating, and I am trying to understand...

There are a million guys from all over the world now hitting on Asian women. Why would any wait for you for 2 years? If you visited them and entered into a serious committed relationship, then yes, she will likely wait. Make sure they go offline right away. But if you have not taken the step to visit - get real - you are asking too much and they wont risk wasting time. Ask yourself, what do you have to offer? Asian women are pragmatic and serious about marriage.
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby mentor » Tue Feb 14, 2017 6:32 pm

Lorenzo wrote:
mentor wrote:I had the same problem too in my communications.
I can't believe that serious girls want me for serious relationship, just in a few weeks time.
I guess it is a cultural difference.
If I was for fun, this would be a nice feature.
But when you look for lifetime partner, then there is no way of deciding to proceed with a girl, even in some months time.

I wonder, and I want to talk with other experienced members here, how did they manage to keep knowing their future women, even for a 2 years period!!!
Hard to believe, after what I am encountering.
If they did not get from me any confirmation for relationship, they just abandon!!!
Are they serious?
I find it frustating, and I am trying to understand...

There are a million guys from all over the world now hitting on Asian women. Why would any wait for you for 2 years? If you visited them and entered into a serious committed relationship, then yes, she will likely wait. Make sure they go offline right away. But if you have not taken the step to visit - get real - you are asking too much and they wont risk wasting time. Ask yourself, what do you have to offer? Asian women are pragmatic and serious about marriage.


Ok, I understand what you say, but it is too risky to proceed with a girl, even if you known her online for some months, even if you visit her.
Does anyone agree with me?
I understand there is a much faster/easier reality there, but do we forget completely all our bad experiences from our western world?
Would you go out or chatting online with a western girl for a couple of months, and then go for serious commitment?
Anyone doing this in our (western for sure - and not only?) world, has even a 70-80% possibilities for failure in my case.
Time is gold I believe.
Yes, it is risky even for me, to invest my precious and limited time to a girl, just to see later that she may be worthless, and voila, my time was gone, lost forever.
But, I prefer losing time, than ending doing serious commitment with the wrong girl...
I think that this logic is safer and it makes sense. I can't align with their 'fast and furious'' logic, because I am serious and not for fun, and this road is really dangerous...
I want to hear your opinions.
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby codemon » Wed Feb 15, 2017 3:32 am

mentor wrote:
Lorenzo wrote:
mentor wrote:I had the same problem too in my communications.
I can't believe that serious girls want me for serious relationship, just in a few weeks time.
I guess it is a cultural difference.
If I was for fun, this would be a nice feature.
But when you look for lifetime partner, then there is no way of deciding to proceed with a girl, even in some months time.

I wonder, and I want to talk with other experienced members here, how did they manage to keep knowing their future women, even for a 2 years period!!!
Hard to believe, after what I am encountering.
If they did not get from me any confirmation for relationship, they just abandon!!!
Are they serious?
I find it frustating, and I am trying to understand...

There are a million guys from all over the world now hitting on Asian women. Why would any wait for you for 2 years? If you visited them and entered into a serious committed relationship, then yes, she will likely wait. Make sure they go offline right away. But if you have not taken the step to visit - get real - you are asking too much and they wont risk wasting time. Ask yourself, what do you have to offer? Asian women are pragmatic and serious about marriage.


Ok, I understand what you say, but it is too risky to proceed with a girl, even if you known her online for some months, even if you visit her.
Does anyone agree with me?
I understand there is a much faster/easier reality there, but do we forget completely all our bad experiences from our western world?
Would you go out or chatting online with a western girl for a couple of months, and then go for serious commitment?
Anyone doing this in our (western for sure - and not only?) world, has even a 70-80% possibilities for failure in my case.
Time is gold I believe.
Yes, it is risky even for me, to invest my precious and limited time to a girl, just to see later that she may be worthless, and voila, my time was gone, lost forever.
But, I prefer losing time, than ending doing serious commitment with the wrong girl...
I think that this logic is safer and it makes sense. I can't align with their 'fast and furious'' logic, because I am serious and not for fun, and this road is really dangerous...
I want to hear your opinions.


It seems like those that were in a relationship for a couple years before marrying a filipina had at least met the women within a few months of first contact on a dating site. I don't think you would have as much luck chatting online with a woman for 6 months or more without visiting her in person. Several of these women have talked about men leading them on for several months, saying they plan to visit but never do. I'm sure a lot of the women are wary of that situation.
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby publicduende » Wed Feb 15, 2017 1:42 pm

Lorenzo wrote:
mentor wrote:I had the same problem too in my communications.
I can't believe that serious girls want me for serious relationship, just in a few weeks time.
I guess it is a cultural difference.
If I was for fun, this would be a nice feature.
But when you look for lifetime partner, then there is no way of deciding to proceed with a girl, even in some months time.

I wonder, and I want to talk with other experienced members here, how did they manage to keep knowing their future women, even for a 2 years period!!!
Hard to believe, after what I am encountering.
If they did not get from me any confirmation for relationship, they just abandon!!!
Are they serious?
I find it frustating, and I am trying to understand...

There are a million guys from all over the world now hitting on Asian women. Why would any wait for you for 2 years? If you visited them and entered into a serious committed relationship, then yes, she will likely wait. Make sure they go offline right away. But if you have not taken the step to visit - get real - you are asking too much and they wont risk wasting time. Ask yourself, what do you have to offer? Asian women are pragmatic and serious about marriage.


Believe me, there are a lot more available women in the Philippines than men hitting on them :)
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby Lorenzo » Wed Feb 15, 2017 10:07 pm

mentor wrote:Ok, I understand what you say, but it is too risky to proceed with a girl, even if you known her online for some months, even if you visit her.
Does anyone agree with me?
I understand there is a much faster/easier reality there, but do we forget completely all our bad experiences from our western world?
Would you go out or chatting online with a western girl for a couple of months, and then go for serious commitment?
Anyone doing this in our (western for sure - and not only?) world, has even a 70-80% possibilities for failure in my case.
Time is gold I believe.
Yes, it is risky even for me, to invest my precious and limited time to a girl, just to see later that she may be worthless, and voila, my time was gone, lost forever.
But, I prefer losing time, than ending doing serious commitment with the wrong girl...
I think that this logic is safer and it makes sense. I can't align with their 'fast and furious'' logic, because I am serious and not for fun, and this road is really dangerous...
I want to hear your opinions.


But what you don't understand is that the problem is YOU. Please go back and read your words..."it is risky even for me, to invest my precious and limited time" and "but do we forget completely all our bad experiences from our western world" and "I prefer losing time, than ending doing serious commitment with the wrong girl".

You don't trust, you are cheap and not generous, you have no faith, you are full of fear, you can't make a decision. You are not Asian girl marriage material until you get over these hang-ups because no quality Asian girl is going to play your game. I'm not trying to be harsh, I am trying to get guys like you to see how they can have an endless supply of quality Asian ladies, but it requires trust and letting go of your baggage to do so. Again, ask yourself what you are offering not taking.
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby Lorenzo » Wed Feb 15, 2017 10:15 pm

publicduende wrote:Believe me, there are a lot more available women in the Philippines than men hitting on them :)


No doubt, so I am still unclear why you are empty handed?

By the way, I do agree with some of what you have written. I think we all have unrealistic expectations at times. If you go to Phils a man must lower his expectations on the non-physical attributes of a lady, it's a very different world and a very different culture. The main benefit as I see it is scoring a much younger, if not more attractive, lady who will follow your lead and try to make you happy. To live in Phils is a while different issue.
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby Zambales » Fri Feb 17, 2017 9:02 am

mentor wrote:
Lorenzo wrote:
mentor wrote:I had the same problem too in my communications.
I can't believe that serious girls want me for serious relationship, just in a few weeks time.
I guess it is a cultural difference.
If I was for fun, this would be a nice feature.
But when you look for lifetime partner, then there is no way of deciding to proceed with a girl, even in some months time.

I wonder, and I want to talk with other experienced members here, how did they manage to keep knowing their future women, even for a 2 years period!!!
Hard to believe, after what I am encountering.
If they did not get from me any confirmation for relationship, they just abandon!!!
Are they serious?
I find it frustating, and I am trying to understand...

There are a million guys from all over the world now hitting on Asian women. Why would any wait for you for 2 years? If you visited them and entered into a serious committed relationship, then yes, she will likely wait. Make sure they go offline right away. But if you have not taken the step to visit - get real - you are asking too much and they wont risk wasting time. Ask yourself, what do you have to offer? Asian women are pragmatic and serious about marriage.


Ok, I understand what you say, but it is too risky to proceed with a girl, even if you known her online for some months, even if you visit her.
Does anyone agree with me?
I understand there is a much faster/easier reality there, but do we forget completely all our bad experiences from our western world?
Would you go out or chatting online with a western girl for a couple of months, and then go for serious commitment?
Anyone doing this in our (western for sure - and not only?) world, has even a 70-80% possibilities for failure in my case.
Time is gold I believe.
Yes, it is risky even for me, to invest my precious and limited time to a girl, just to see later that she may be worthless, and voila, my time was gone, lost forever.
But, I prefer losing time, than ending doing serious commitment with the wrong girl...
I think that this logic is safer and it makes sense. I can't align with their 'fast and furious'' logic, because I am serious and not for fun, and this road is really dangerous...
I want to hear your opinions.


It wouldn't surprise me if you were still on here in ten years time saying the same stuff, Mentor. Time is gold? Well aren't you wasting precious time worrying about "What ifs"? Your problem is that you're not bold enough to take that first step and travel to the Philippines to meet anyone. I also don't think you're smart enough when it comes to women. Proof was when you couldn't identify the dialogue from an obvious scammer.

Maybe foreign women aren't for you.

Apologies if I sound harsh but you did ask for opinions.
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby publicduende » Sun Feb 19, 2017 7:30 am

Lorenzo wrote:
publicduende wrote:Believe me, there are a lot more available women in the Philippines than men hitting on them :)


No doubt, so I am still unclear why you are empty handed?

By the way, I do agree with some of what you have written. I think we all have unrealistic expectations at times. If you go to Phils a man must lower his expectations on the non-physical attributes of a lady, it's a very different world and a very different culture. The main benefit as I see it is scoring a much younger, if not more attractive, lady who will follow your lead and try to make you happy. To live in Phils is a while different issue.


I am empty handed because I am finding girls not worth closing my hands on.

For the past couple of weeks I have been dating a girl who seems OK: she's very pretty, not so smart but at least sweet, and from a family that while being of very modest stance, is at least not trying to scam me. Both her parents have (modest) jobs and can support themselves and their family. I doubt she is LTR material but, for all her shortcomings, she is probably one of the best girls I found here in Davao.

I really need to be in smaller cities to find the odd hidden gem. Davao won't cut it. It's gonna be Zamboanga, Iligan, Butuan City, maybe Cagayan de Oro. In the social media era, our arbitrage value has gone down so much we have to literally go to the middle of nowhere, where data connections are scarce and people too poor to even afford them, to look for a girl who ticks a few boxes.
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Re: The problem is YOU! Why you can't get a great Filipina o

Postby publicduende » Sun Feb 19, 2017 7:55 am

Zambales wrote:It wouldn't surprise me if you were still on here in ten years time saying the same stuff, Mentor. Time is gold? Well aren't you wasting precious time worrying about "What ifs"? Your problem is that you're not bold enough to take that first step and travel to the Philippines to meet anyone. I also don't think you're smart enough when it comes to women. Proof was when you couldn't identify the dialogue from an obvious scammer.

Maybe foreign women aren't for you.

Apologies if I sound harsh but you did ask for opinions.


The real problem, elephant in the room kind of problem, is that even when you have finally skipped a few steps and come over here to meet the girl of your dreams, your chances to catch her (if she exists) will be no better and even when your radar is solidly locked-in, there is no guarantee she is not just putting up some theater and won't change as soon as she gets what she wants, which could be a week with you or all the way to marriage.

The "dialogue" won't tell much because there is so little dialogue with the average Filipina anyway. It's more extrapolation and interpolation, than real data points.
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