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Do I really have to beg a young Filipina?

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Re: Do I really have to beg a young Filipina?

Postby publicduende » August 7th, 2017, 3:47 pm

gsjackson wrote:This is an excellent perspective and sound advice. PD, I realize you consider the various American schools of thought re law of attraction, positive thinking and such to be so much hokum, and maybe you're right, but you do understand, don't you, that from their point of view you are a textbook example -- 100 percent grade-A perfect -- of how not to get what you want? It wouldn't surprise me if Winston was solicited to permit use of your posts in this thread to serve as negative examples in somebody's seminar.


Yes you guessed right - for somebody who studies gnosis that law of attraction stuff is new age coloured horsesh*te meant to sell books and attract their writers, that without a doubt, to a pile of cash.

I cannot get what I want because what I want isn't there. I can't expect strawberry ice cream in the middle of the desert, but I can learn how to survive sucking up cactus juice and traveling against the wind for a small oasis.

I have come all the way here to settle and I made a pretty stupid decision, with hindsight. Perhaps I was burned by my menage with my ex-wife, I was tired of the banking IT rat race and wanted an experience that was sitting somewhere in between business and charity, personal and corporate, love and career. I got a few things right, in fact in some aspects my expectations have been exceeded. What I got completely and tragically wrong was the thing I was 101% certain about, the easy-peasy shoot-fish-in-a-barrel thing. The Philippines, the land of Love! Davao, the perfect middle ground between metropolitan and simple and laid back lifestyle.

My naivety wasn't so much about believing that I could find a great Filipina to love. It was about believing that I could get somebody amazing, somebody squarely fitting in the top 5% of beauty, brains, wit, status, etc. to fall in love with me if I just presented myself with the right mix of socio-economic status, respect authority, and charm. I had a lot to give and I knew it. Alas, I have come to realise that, the way Filipino society is structured, the vast majority of girls want so much less than that from life and from a man, in fact so much that anyone could just woo them in a couple of days/weeks and grab them for life. And the elite of the lot, the kind of girls who correspond to my expectations, are so incredibly cliquish and reluctant to go beyond the age barrier (because, frankly, that's all there is) and try me out. Unless, and hence the thread title, I beg and drag my sorry self through a lot of pain and inconvenience.

gsjackson wrote:It seems like you have succumbed to the intellectual's hubris and fallacy -- all people can be dismissed as cultural artifacts. Individual preferences, values, perspectives are of no account, as are the attitude, self confidence and the like that one takes into interactions wit them; their cultural conditioning determines their behavior in all cases. The omniscient sociologist explains all as he observes humanity through his lens.

America's leading pop-culture intellectual, Tom Wolfe, used to flirt with this perspective. He was enamored of neuro-psychology and how those geniuses could light up different parts of the brain corresponding to various emotions. He was taken with Edmund Wilson's correlation of ant and human behavior. He wrote a novel, set in my alma mater, about some poor delusional college girl who thought she was an individual, only to be revealed as purely a product of her social conditioning. it was a bleak, completely deterministic universe that he surveyed.

But somewhere along the line maybe he noticed that the neuro-psych boys could light up the brain, but never were able to explain anything significant about the human mind and consciousness. Maybe he met some bona fide individuals who weren't obviously cultural artifacts. In any case, his last book, after diving deep into anthropology and linguistics, seems to overthrow these notions, and concludes that humans first create their language and then use it to create their world -- not unlike the viewpoint of positive thinkers and other exponents of idealist philosophy (i.e., mind precedes matter, not vice versa).

Please note the language you are creating, and the world it creates for you. In horror.


That's a fantastic cameo, Jackson, thanks! I knew nothing about Tom Wolfe, but I did read Clifford Geertz' The Interpretation of Cultures. A different kind of work though. I wouldn't agree with Wolfe's mechanistic view of an individual as a layered collection of acts of social conditioning. Personality, soul is the ghost in the shell, the unpredictable spark. I couldn't agree more. Geertz also believed that a system of symbols, not necessarily a language, is what creates the possible expressions of a people's daily reality and inform their actions: their belief their rituals, etc.

All very erudite, Jackson, and something that could catch me for an entire night, so long beer and/or wine keep flowing!

If you are using this to say that I am using a negative, depressing language to build myself a mental trap, then I am sorry - you're miles away. The mental trap so far has been my refusal to compromise. It will come to one of the two: I learn to compromise and be contented with my cute dark-skinned girl from the province who I will have to learn to respect and love for what she will be able to give me. Or I beg and steal to try to find an unstable, toxic menage with a girl who has had everything in life and I have to convince everyday, with all the tricks in my book, that she needs me. Once again, that was the meaning of the "do I really have to beg a young Filipina".

Or the third way, if that is even humanly possible without going full crazy or going full monk, more solitude.
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Re: Do I really have to beg a young Filipina?

Postby dragonsmack68 » August 7th, 2017, 11:35 pm

"With the statement above, I was simply referring to the fact that your girlfriend might be the most beautiful and graceful human being you have ever met. Yet, had she been at the top of the local dating pool, she would have been chosen by a Filipino, or perhaps a younger foreigner."

I agree with this, but I don't see this as a negative. Maybe locals aren't looking for the same qualities that we are looking for, so although a woman doesn't qualify to be at the top of the local dating pool, she may very well be at the top of our dating pool.

"In my experience so far in Davao, I met quite a few quality young women, and when I say quality I mean with all the qualities that you mention below. Gorgeous outside and inside, graceful, smart and very well educated, with decent jobs that are actual careers, from families of values and, why not, some wealth. Inevitably, 90% of those women were happily engaged or married. Of the share of the 10% who were single and I tried to approach, 100% more or less politely rejected me, saying that they prefer dating men their own culture and/or their own age.

What is left for me here is maybe smart but unattractive girls, or desperate single moms, or the odd independent single mom who just wants to have some fun time. I also tried the introduction game a few times, asking trusted friends to introduce me single women they knew and could recommend. 9 times out of 10 they came up with separated women in their late 30s, with one or two kids. The best introducer of the lot is a ladyboy from the deep province whom I chatted on Facebook a while ago. He introduced me to a very cute 20-years old, just out of college (usual Mickey Mouse degree in Hotel Management). After a month of negotiation, she finally agreed to meet me, only to tell me that she wasn't feeling comfortable to be seen in public with me. My hopes and even my excitetement was immediately turned off and didn't want to see more of her again.

Another time I had a friend introduce me an "attractive businesswoman" who turned out to be the late 30-something owner of a local noodle bar who worked 7 days a week, from 6 AM to 10 PM, the Chinese chubby strong type with the grace of a lorry driver from Yorkshire. :) When I tried to be a bit more explicit to a couple of such brokers, giving them more details about who I would like to meet and date (young, pretty, unmarried and no kids, well educated, non-destitute family), the kinds of comments I got were of the type "yeah, but those are the girls we keep for ourselves!". LOL tell me something I don't know, you twit! Another humorous yet pretty brutal demonstration of what Filipinos think of us adult foreigners: we're only good for the girls they don't want.

Before you cry coyness on my side, let me say that I did, indeed, pursue girls on my own. I wasn't certainly put off by the lack of help from locals. Only, when I did try to ask them out, I met the same rejection wall. Now, I am a bit too old to be hurt by rejections. I didn't go back to my bedroom and wet the sheets with my tears, but certainly I learned that these are the rules of engagement in this country. Up to me, whether I want to compromise and be contented with who I can get. Or try to spend more time in Metro Manila, which sports more smart and classy girls than Davao, but it's also a much more competitive ground given the number of quality Filipino young men and even an increasing number of high-flying young expats. Or even move to another country, which is the hardest option as I am stuck here running my business.

My last bout of potential intros were from my business partner's (and dear friend's) wife. She is a nurse and knows quite a few people in Davao. She told me she likes to be a matchmaker and gave me a list of about 5 young women to pick from. 2 of them were young, unmarried, pretty, one from Manila, one from Davao. The other 3 were separated women or single moms in their late 30s. I asked her to ask all 5 of them and see what would happen. Out of the 5, only 2 of the single moms were happy to meet me. Both the young and pretty ones said that they were already being pursued by multiple same-age Pinoys and didn't feel the need to add an adult foreigner like me in the mix.

Now, it's easy to cry "sour grapes!" in these kinds of situations: label these girls as snobbish and unworthy of our superior mature man qualities. Reality is, those were good girls, not evil b*tches. Girls with options, who obviously had no need to resort to a man of another language and culture, let alone between one and two decades older. As Marcos Z said, they have multiple chances to be with young and attractive men who speak their language, understand their cultural references and humour, who often belong to the same barkada (social circle) and whose families perhaps have known each other for decades. What's not to prefer, to men like me and you?"

Sounds like you have exhausted pretty much all avenues of approach.


"So no dude, I am not looking for a nurturing, supportive and empathetic woman who will wait for me at night, feed me, f*ck me and tell me how sweet I am, after spending the whole day playing with her smartphone and watching TV drama. I am looking for a woman who will energise me, inspire me, argue because we don't agree on something and then moan on top of me for hours. We are kind of at the antipodes on this matter. And I do understand, as many have hinted more or less politely, that if this the kind of woman I am looking for in the Philippines, I'm making my life and my quest very hard indeed."

I don't think being nurturing, supportive and empathetic is synonymous with waiting for me at night, feeding me and f***ing me. I would define them as helping me reach my goals, understanding what I am going through and doing whatever is necessary for us to be successful (Which definitely doesn't include sitting around all day watching tv and playing on her smartphone).

"People change, people discover other priorities in life."

Sadly, this happens and the only guarantee in life is that it will end.

"I had a nice chat with Jester last night (you might already know we are flatmates here in Davao) and it struck me that his views, a bit like yours, another American, are quite dry and pragmatic. He doesn't mind his girl asking him questions and making her conditions clear from the onset. I give you this, you give me that. You stop giving me that, I will look for this somewhere else.

Call me Euro-romantic cheesy, but until not so long ago I still believed that I could engage with one specimen of a girl I fancy, in an exchange of minds, of feelings. Then heaven knows what a kind and generous man I am. Everything else would have come anyway. Everything else would have been a given."

Having a simplistic approach to a relationship doesn't mean it will be dry and pragmatic. As a matter of fact, I would argue that it allows a relationship to grow exponentially,which in turn creates a stronger bond physically, emotionally and intellectually.

"It's been a few months now, and that ultimate boyish delusion has been finally thrown to the cleaners. So I have to succumb to the idea that the woman I will choose, or, rather, will choose me will have to be an outlier who happens to have a soft spot for older men, or in need for the kind of support that a more mature man could give her, or simply has no better options than the man in front of her at that given moment."

Inevitably, this may happen, but that doesn't mean she still won't make a great partner.


My philosophy is, if you keep swinging, eventually you will hit the ball.
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Re: Do I really have to beg a young Filipina?

Postby chanta76 » August 8th, 2017, 3:10 am

I'm starting to worry for the next generation of western guys . It seems like there is less countries to go or it's just as hard as in the west to meet someone. It's like the genie came out of the bottle and the Philippines been over pastured.
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Re: Do I really have to beg a young Filipina?

Postby publicduende » August 8th, 2017, 12:11 pm

chanta76 wrote:I'm starting to worry for the next generation of western guys . It seems like there is less countries to go or it's just as hard as in the west to meet someone. It's like the genie came out of the bottle and the Philippines been over pastured.


Absolutely correct. It wouldn't be a bad thing if girls were less open to towards Western guys, especially if not so young anymore, because of decreasing poverty and rising living standards. Unfortunately, I suspect, it's mostly because of social media-induced narcissism and globalised aesthetic canons. Every pretty girl nowadays can be an Instagram or Snapchat queen, even if the typical backgrounds in their photos are dilapidated wood and cardboard huts. Everybody in their prime is looking for the best possible option.

Some girls are still putting up to whatever brave soul will chat with them and visit them - then you need to face their needy families, most of the time. Most of them, if they have the option to date and marry up locally, will do so. We adult foreigners are, really, the last resort.
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Re: Do I really have to beg a young Filipina?

Postby publicduende » August 8th, 2017, 12:54 pm

dragonsmack68 wrote:I agree with this, but I don't see this as a negative. Maybe locals aren't looking for the same qualities that we are looking for, so although a woman doesn't qualify to be at the top of the local dating pool, she may very well be at the top of our dating pool.


If we want to compare our dating pool in the Philippines with who we can get in a place like the US, sure as hell you have far better options in the Philippines! Or even in Russia, China, (maybe, if you like dark-skinned) Thailand, for that matter. As I said in some other posts, my main problem is that, by living here, I kind of got accustomed to see what the standards for Filipinos even remotely middle class and/or handsome are. A Filipino man in their late twenties who makes $1,000 a month, is unattractive with oily skin and a pot belly, can get a far better young woman than you and me, guaranteed. When I say "better" I don't mean better looking, as that is subjective. I mean smarter and better educated, from a higher-class family, hard-working and tolerant. Better in all senses.

I am happy that you found a girl you are happy and contented with. That's all that matters, really.

dragonsmack68 wrote:Sounds like you have exhausted pretty much all avenues of approach.


I have exhausted the kinds of young women who I can possibly meet and date over here. Not sure what would happen if I moved to a smaller place. Consider that the mentality in the Philippine province is even more rooted in the usual ritual of the "man with the cash" having to support the entire family. Maybe I could get a better looking and younger girl, but it would be hell to pay in terms of lack of communications and fakeness of relationships. The idea of having a small army of men and women of all ages depending on me only so I can live together with their precious pretty family member, it would repel me to no end.

dragonsmack68 wrote:I don't think being nurturing, supportive and empathetic is synonymous with waiting for me at night, feeding me and f***ing me. I would define them as helping me reach my goals, understanding what I am going through and doing whatever is necessary for us to be successful (Which definitely doesn't include sitting around all day watching tv and playing on her smartphone).


At least in my case, I don't think my Filipino woman could do anything to help me being successful. Unless she is a skilled software developer, of course, or a skilled accountant or lawyer, etc. By the way I did meet a very cute girl who was also a good IT professional. She was a UX designer, though, not a developer. I met her twice at a community event, one of which organised by my company. I added not just her but her entire team (5 people, her being the only girl) to my Facebook. She was the only one who didn't even add me back.

dragonsmack68 wrote:Having a simplistic approach to a relationship doesn't mean it will be dry and pragmatic. As a matter of fact, I would argue that it allows a relationship to grow exponentially,which in turn creates a stronger bond physically, emotionally and intellectually.


Having a simplistic approach to a relationship only works if both parties wants, or already have, a simple life. Most men who come over here surely don't try and complicate their lives, as ours truly unfortunately did. If they have some source of income, it's online and just about enough to live comfortably. If they have savings they consider living here as semi-retirees. Either way, I know much of my problem comes from not having the kind of relaxed, unsophisticated life that will naturally move my expectations towards a simple, unsophisticated girl.

dragonsmack68 wrote:
publicduende wrote:It's been a few months now, and that ultimate boyish delusion has been finally thrown to the cleaners. So I have to succumb to the idea that the woman I will choose, or, rather, will choose me will have to be an outlier who happens to have a soft spot for older men, or in need for the kind of support that a more mature man could give her, or simply has no better options than the man in front of her at that given moment.

Inevitably, this may happen, but that doesn't mean she still won't make a great partner.

My philosophy is, if you keep swinging, eventually you will hit the ball.


A great partner who hooks up with you because she has a daddy fetish of some sort, or needs money, or can't find any better...none of this sounds a great start to me.

If I keep swinging in the air with no ball ever being thrown at you, all I get is muscle strain.
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Re: Do I really have to beg a young Filipina?

Postby MarcosZeitola » August 8th, 2017, 3:44 pm

I remember when I had a handsome foreigner visitor over in our place. Think late twenties, tall, well-built white male with good features. Thick head of hair, bright blue eyes, basically your all-American hunk physically. He was very taken in by a pretty girl in our town. This girl is a really classy young woman, early twenties, works as a teacher, lives at home still and spends her salary on designer clothes and nice sunglasses. Looks very 21th century. Has this look on her face of being perpetually unimpressed by her surroundings. My friend liked this girl, tried to get her attention, and she made it very clear early on there wasn't going to be anything beyond a friendship.

Later we were at an event, and the mayor of the town visited. A tall Filipino man, who's a bachelor in his late thirties. Handsome man, but not particularly so. Well-connected family. The girl was very interested in the mayor, and got very flirty with him. Now this girl, she's gorgeous but not a super model. Her education is okay, but she never went to a prestigious university. Her family consists primarily of dirt poor farmers. But the sort of man she's after is either a successful local politician, a rich land owner, or some other local man of high social standing. This is what she's after.

I noticed that a lot of pretty, but poor girls end up not with foreigners, but with local men of higher social standing. So poverty doesn't really play a big role, I think. A lot of dirt poor girls from the provinces belong to tribes that are known for their pale skin and pretty faces, particularly Igorota girls. To a Filipino man, such a girl is a prize worth fighting for, regardless of her (sometimes questionable) background. I've seen plenty of these girls end up with foreigners, because a foreigner isn't a bad prospect for them. But there's just as many, if not more, who prefer a Filipino husband in the end. After all they have their families, they have their friends, why uproot their entire existence for a man who will take them far away? Unless, of course, they have reasons for wanting to escape.

The more intelligent girls, educated in the cities or working there, often come from the provinces as well. Some may go for a foreigner for the oppportunities it gives them. Like how one of the professors of my wife, a very accomplished woman in her early thirties, married a young Russian man. She gave up her tenure for this man and moved to his country. But the woman, from what I've heard, was a little awkward to be around and had a falling out with her family a few years back, giving her reason to want to leave her old life behind.

PD, the girls you tend to go for probably are city girls. Especially seeing as you live in Davao yourself and are probably in a highly urbanized area where a lot of the girls you encounter belong to a higher-then-average income group. These are the pickiest of girls. Perhaps in a smaller provincial capital town you would do better, especially among younger college educated women. Think of the type of woman that's a teller in a bank, a receptionist, the accountant of a small business. She's not highly educated but by no means stupid, she's not wealthy but not dirt-poor, and she's usually pretty as their jobs demand certain physical standards. There is definitely a certain sub-group of women who would be open to dating you, being a seen in public with you and ultimately marrying you if that's your end-goal. But perhaps you need to make sure your business gets stabilized a bit more, first, so you can put more time and effort into your quest.

For now... I hope you can extend your search to different waters, at some point. Remember that right now, you are fishing in a pond that has a lot of other fishermen, and only a few good fish. And all the fish, even the ones you don't want, could find a hook that has caviar as bait. Your bait is still just a worm. But there's a lot of fishermen, and a lot of worms.
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Re: Do I really have to beg a young Filipina?

Postby publicduende » August 8th, 2017, 4:49 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:I remember when I had a handsome foreigner visitor over in our place. Think late twenties, tall, well-built white male with good features. Thick head of hair, bright blue eyes, basically your all-American hunk physically. He was very taken in by a pretty girl in our town. This girl is a really classy young woman, early twenties, works as a teacher, lives at home still and spends her salary on designer clothes and nice sunglasses. Looks very 21th century. Has this look on her face of being perpetually unimpressed by her surroundings. My friend liked this girl, tried to get her attention, and she made it very clear early on there wasn't going to be anything beyond a friendship.

Later we were at an event, and the mayor of the town visited. A tall Filipino man, who's a bachelor in his late thirties. Handsome man, but not particularly so. Well-connected family. The girl was very interested in the mayor, and got very flirty with him. Now this girl, she's gorgeous but not a super model. Her education is okay, but she never went to a prestigious university. Her family consists primarily of dirt poor farmers. But the sort of man she's after is either a successful local politician, a rich land owner, or some other local man of high social standing. This is what she's after.


I know less than you about this particular young woman, but I wouldn't be surprised if she had a hook-up with a rich local man, maybe a local agro-industrialist or politician, or even his son, who gave her a first taste of that stylish lifestyle. As you know, young teachers in the Philippines never get more than 20K pesos a month, so designer clothes and branded sunglasses are a telltale sign that somebody else is doing the shopping for her, or is giving her the cash to. As a veritable social climber, I can imagine she would not be interested in spoiling her image and her ambitions by being seen hanging out with a foreign tourist, no matter how handsome.

You know, it's a typical female trait to always keep the best of their past chasers as a benchmark for the future. This particular female acquaintance of yours knew she could attract a well-off Filipino and that probably became her aim.

Almost two years ago I dated a pretty woman, pale skinned and with a very nice body (and amazing breasts) despite being in her mid 30s. Unmarried, no kids. She had a simple degree and was working as a contractual work for the Department of Energy. She was still hot but probably even hotter a few years back. For the time we spent together, she just wouldn't stop comparing me with a past American boyfriend he had, for one or two months, years ago. She kept stalking him on Facebook despite no sign of him even remembering her, wishing he was back to her. Or all the times she kept mentioning her past Manila bf who was a varsity basketball player, apparently one of the most prized achievements for a girl from the province (she was from the Mindanao province, Kidapawan). And more of such niceties. The only reason why I would endure her monologues was because...you can imagine! Yet, not once it crossed my mind that I could have anything more than an enduring fling with her.

Her personality was absolutely horrible...entitled...asking for money and gifts as if she was some sort of royalty. Once she did one of the stupidest things I have seen in my life: I had brought some assorted chocolate to give away to different people, as Easter gifts. I gave her what I had intended to give her, one box of chocolate. As she found out I was keeping the rest of the stuff in the fridge, she took everything out, shoved everything on the bed, took a pic of the lot and posted it on FB, with the usual assorted happy and excited little faces...look what I got for Easter! Of course, as usual, no mention of me for the chocolate box I legitimately gave her.

And by the way, this is another thing that I have come to absolutely hate about Filipinas, as they bring many typically feminine traits to the most childish, laughable extremes. It's always about the act, not the actor.

Even with J, the Dumaguete girl mentioned a few pages back on this thread, even an all-paid trip to Manila and another all-paid trip to Hong Kong weren't enough to deserve a bare mention on her profilic Facebook timeline. Wasn't even expecting hearts bears and "love you"'s...but even a mention of the man who you had been talking to for a good two months and, after meeting twice, you may as well consider your prospect. Nothing...just pictures of Manila malls, Hong Kong skyscrapers, the usual close-ups of fancy food dishes...and even a pic of a random OFW we met when roaming Hong Kong and who kindly offered us a tour of Central. Not a single picture of the two of us, or just myself. We didn't have a bucketload, but quite a few. Not. One.

MarcosZeitola wrote:I noticed that a lot of pretty, but poor girls end up not with foreigners, but with local men of higher social standing. So poverty doesn't really play a big role, I think. A lot of dirt poor girls from the provinces belong to tribes that are known for their pale skin and pretty faces, particularly Igorota girls. To a Filipino man, such a girl is a prize worth fighting for, regardless of her (sometimes questionable) background. I've seen plenty of these girls end up with foreigners, because a foreigner isn't a bad prospect for them. But there's just as many, if not more, who prefer a Filipino husband in the end. After all they have their families, they have their friends, why uproot their entire existence for a man who will take them far away? Unless, of course, they have reasons for wanting to escape.


Poverty doesn't play a big role as long as they have a beauty that is considered exceptional. Two of my best friends, J and S, from the Rotary club, are a truly beautiful couple. They're beautiful inside and out. And S especially, she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met in my life. She is going 43 now but still looks 30-something at most. I kid you not if I say she looks better than the likes of Angel Locsin and Maja Salvador. He is a very handsome man too, so a match made in heaven.

There is one detail J only broke to me recently, a few months ago, as we were chatting about personal stuff. J comes from a rich family, which I obviously knew, but S does not. S's family was barely scraping the middle class bar. Had she not had this incredible beauty, J would have probably passed her by, as he was quite the womanizer back in the days. Of course S is a young woman of quality, a wonderful mom of 4 (I am even her youngest daughter's proud Godfather!), religious and approachable.

I once asked J if a woman like S could come up to me at some point in the future. The question was met with J's laughter...it had been a massive strike of luck for himself, he giggled.

MarcosZeitola wrote:The more intelligent girls, educated in the cities or working there, often come from the provinces as well. Some may go for a foreigner for the oppportunities it gives them. Like how one of the professors of my wife, a very accomplished woman in her early thirties, married a young Russian man. She gave up her tenure for this man and moved to his country. But the woman, from what I've heard, was a little awkward to be around and had a falling out with her family a few years back, giving her reason to want to leave her old life behind.

PD, the girls you tend to go for probably are city girls. Especially seeing as you live in Davao yourself and are probably in a highly urbanized area where a lot of the girls you encounter belong to a higher-then-average income group. These are the pickiest of girls. Perhaps in a smaller provincial capital town you would do better, especially among younger college educated women. Think of the type of woman that's a teller in a bank, a receptionist, the accountant of a small business. She's not highly educated but by no means stupid, she's not wealthy but not dirt-poor, and she's usually pretty as their jobs demand certain physical standards. There is definitely a certain sub-group of women who would be open to dating you, being a seen in public with you and ultimately marrying you if that's your end-goal. But perhaps you need to make sure your business gets stabilized a bit more, first, so you can put more time and effort into your quest.

For now... I hope you can extend your search to different waters, at some point. Remember that right now, you are fishing in a pond that has a lot of other fishermen, and only a few good fish. And all the fish, even the ones you don't want, could find a hook that has caviar as bait. Your bait is still just a worm. But there's a lot of fishermen, and a lot of worms.


The more intelligent girls from the province are often educated in the city anyway. The smartest girls around have scholarships to study at UP Mindanao, Mindanao State, very solid and 100% free universities for the gifted. Some other universities are heavily subsidised so, unlike what most dumb Filipinas say as an excuse, a good brain does get you quite far in the Philippines. Even the Ateneos have plenty of opportunities to have their studies subsidised.

Filipino young men are not stupid: most of those girls will have multiple of those young men chasing them. Whether they will stay humble or develop an attitude, they will be very unlikely to choose a foreigner, unless they have a predilection for Western looking young men. For how far and wide Davao is, I do not know a single Western man who has one such high-flying girls as a girlfriend or wife.

But yes, you are right, "city girls" are a better bet. Unfortunately there are so few of them, and even fewer, as I told you guys in an earlier reply, would entertain the idea of dating an adult foreigner. Remember that I am a foreigner and a mature one. Two layers of inconvenience for them to smash through. Unless, of course, they have other compelling reasons to need one of us.

Receptionists, bank tellers...those girls are on demand, they all have a bf. And if they don't, e.g. they're between relationships, they know it will be a matter of mending their broken hearts (few weeks, few months at most) and another good Pinoy will sweep them off the ground. A few months ago when I was still in flirt mode, I would ask a few of them if they were single, especially if they laid the "do you have a girlfriend here, sir?" question first. All of them had a bf or not interested. The more polite of them tried to save face by immediately promising me they would introduce me "one of their single friends". The "single friends" obviously being some seasoned spinster or single mom who - they knew - was in need for a provider or some Caucasian DNA.
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Re: Do I really have to beg a young Filipina?

Postby Johnny1975 » August 9th, 2017, 11:10 am

You take overthinking to a whole new level. I thought I was bad. You've got to stop this. If other guys can find what they want, and you can't, then there's got to be something that you're doing wrong, or not doing. And if that's not the case, then you're in the wrong country, and that's all there is to it, end of story, and it's not worth even talking about. Leave the country and seek what you want, or stay and figure out how you need to do things differently. The problem is either you, or the country.
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Re: Do I really have to beg a young Filipina?

Postby publicduende » August 9th, 2017, 11:53 am

Johnny1975 wrote:You take overthinking to a whole new level. I thought I was bad. You've got to stop this. If other guys can find what they want, and you can't, then there's got to be something that you're doing wrong, or not doing. And if that's not the case, then you're in the wrong country, and that's all there is to it, end of story, and it's not worth even talking about. Leave the country and seek what you want, or stay and figure out how you need to do things differently. The problem is either you, or the country.


I didn't willingly revive this moribund thread. I knew I only had bitterness to share. You guys asked me, I answered. Yeah sure, it's the country, or me, or both. If age is in the way of finding a quality woman in the Philippines, I can imagine how it will be in China, Singapore or the UK. If the Philippines is the wrong country for this, then every other country (bar surprises) is the wrong country.

Good luck and be happy with what the Philippines have to offer. You are right, nothing else worth talking about.

This is probably going to be my last post for a while. I have nothing positive to contribute.
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