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A few thoughts about Thai women and marriage.

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Re: thai women

Postby Jester » Sun Sep 28, 2014 4:59 am

ari wrote:I am engaged to an educated Thai woman. She appears to be a very sweet woman. She has a PHD & is currently working in Australia, when she is finished there she will come to USA to marry me then we return to Thailand to live. We were skyping & emailing but these have almost came to a stop. She has no experience in the real world, well traveled but has never had a boyfriend & is a virgin. She is not very thoughtful & seems to make me a second thought anymore. There will be more than a week or two before she emails me. Granted. the time is different between USA & Australia but there is no effort on her part to contact me. I work 75-80 hours a week & find time to at least email her. Is this type of thought lessness common with Thai women espcially educated ones?? Please let me know. She does not want american citizenship or any money from me. I am starting to have some second thoughts about this relationship. IS this cultural, a thai women personality or just her characterlogical make-up. Need some insight here from the professionals.


Not qualified re Thai women.

But re women in general.... from your description, it does sound like she is cooling off and losing interest.

Why not visit her in Australia or Thailand, rather than marrying her? Might be a nice visit, and less stress.

Anyway hopefully one of those who is familiar with Thai culture will weigh in here...
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Re: thai women

Postby Rock » Sun Sep 28, 2014 5:22 am

ari wrote:I am engaged to an educated Thai woman. She appears to be a very sweet woman. She has a PHD & is currently working in Australia, when she is finished there she will come to USA to marry me then we return to Thailand to live. We were skyping & emailing but these have almost came to a stop. She has no experience in the real world, well traveled but has never had a boyfriend & is a virgin. She is not very thoughtful & seems to make me a second thought anymore. There will be more than a week or two before she emails me. Granted. the time is different between USA & Australia but there is no effort on her part to contact me. I work 75-80 hours a week & find time to at least email her. Is this type of thought lessness common with Thai women espcially educated ones?? Please let me know. She does not want american citizenship or any money from me. I am starting to have some second thoughts about this relationship. IS this cultural, a thai women personality or just her characterlogical make-up. Need some insight here from the professionals.


I'm glad this thread got bumped by your post. Repat's intro is excellent and there's seems to be some golden info here.

AIB is no longer on this forum but perhaps Repat and others with deeper Thai experience will weigh in.

No matter what, if you are engaged to a girl from anywhere in the world and the communication has dropped off to virtually nothing, there is definitely something wrong. You need to talk with this girl and try to get to the bottom of it. Only then perhaps do you have a possibility of resolving it. If you try this and it proves impossible, well you are engaged to marry a woman who you can't even have a heart to heart conversation with. I can't imagine why someone would wanna co-habitate with a virtual stranger.
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Re: thai women

Postby OutWest » Sun Sep 28, 2014 5:45 am

Rock wrote:
ari wrote:I am engaged to an educated Thai woman. She appears to be a very sweet woman. She has a PHD & is currently working in Australia, when she is finished there she will come to USA to marry me then we return to Thailand to live. We were skyping & emailing but these have almost came to a stop. She has no experience in the real world, well traveled but has never had a boyfriend & is a virgin. She is not very thoughtful & seems to make me a second thought anymore. There will be more than a week or two before she emails me. Granted. the time is different between USA & Australia but there is no effort on her part to contact me. I work 75-80 hours a week & find time to at least email her. Is this type of thought lessness common with Thai women espcially educated ones?? Please let me know. She does not want american citizenship or any money from me. I am starting to have some second thoughts about this relationship. IS this cultural, a thai women personality or just her characterlogical make-up. Need some insight here from the professionals.


I'm glad this thread got bumped by your post. Repat's intro is excellent and there's seems to be some golden info here.

AIB is no longer on this forum but perhaps Repat and others with deeper Thai experience will weigh in.

No matter what, if you are engaged to a girl from anywhere in the world and the communication has dropped off to virtually nothing, there is definitely something wrong. You need to talk with this girl and try to get to the bottom of it. Only then perhaps do you have a possibility of resolving it. If you try this and it proves impossible, well you are engaged to marry a woman who you can't even have a heart to heart conversation with. I can't imagine why someone would wanna co-habitate with a virtual stranger.


Yes...maybe schedule a visit, but make sure it's not when her new boyfriend is around....
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Re: thai women

Postby Repatriate » Sun Sep 28, 2014 7:35 am

I have bad news for you.

ari wrote:I am engaged to an educated Thai woman. She appears to be a very sweet woman.


The majority of thai girls appear sweet. This doesn't mean anything in of itself.

She has a PHD & is currently working in Australia, when she is finished there she will come to USA to marry me then we return to Thailand to live. We were skyping & emailing but these have almost came to a stop. She has no experience in the real world, well traveled but has never had a boyfriend & is a virgin.


I don't believe in wifing up virgins you randomly meet. Virgins are women that need to be shaped and cultivated from the time you meet them. I've had sex with virgins before and there's nothing special about it (aside from clinginess) despite the fantasies of muslim fundamentalists and a few basement dwellers who post here. A woman who doesn't have relationship experience can be a big problem early on AND down the road. The fact that she has had no boyfriend and is a virgin and is a PHD indicates someone who may not have the most polished social skills. It's a big warning sign.

I will say that it's highly unusual for a Thai woman to have not been in a relationship at a certain age. If she's 25+ and never been in a relationship before it's a huge flag or she's blatantly lying.

Another issue is the physical intimacy one. Modern women are constantly distracted and she's a self proclaimed "virgin" so there's even less at stake here in the relationship from her point of view. You haven't had sex, you're some guy offering up marriage, etc.. She has no emotional investment. Women do bond from sex especially if you can make her orgasm. The simple fact is she has no relevant relationship experience to begin with. She may even be asexual and have some kind of personality disorder for all you know.


She is not very thoughtful & seems to make me a second thought anymore. There will be more than a week or two before she emails me. Granted. the time is different between USA & Australia but there is no effort on her part to contact me. I work 75-80 hours a week & find time to at least email her. Is this type of thought lessness common with Thai women espcially educated ones?? Please let me know. She does not want american citizenship or any money from me. I am starting to have some second thoughts about this relationship. IS this cultural, a thai women personality or just her characterlogical make-up. Need some insight here from the professionals.



This is what tells me that it's over. The thai girl I had a relationship with called me at least once (sometimes twice) a day to do facetime or skype. She was constantly missing me and sending me msgs. This happened for an entire year I was away in the U.S. From my experiences a thai girl who really truly loves you will move heaven and earth for you. They will send gifts, send endless msgs, call all the time, etc.. it's just standard for them.

Once a week means you aren't anything in her eyes. Sorry to confirm what you probably know already but it's true. You're just some guy. My advice is to end it and move on.
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thnks gentlemen

Postby ari » Sun Sep 28, 2014 6:29 pm

Thank you very much for talking to me about this. I did recieve a email from her yesterday (finally). What I am seeing is a pattern of is the overacheiveing asian type (trying not to stereotype here). She talked about her very very busy schedule also. She stated that she does miss me but again I believe the lack of intimate experience is the key. I know she does not have a personality disorder (I am a mental health clinician for a living & would have caught that in the begining). I talk to her mother every week & she does not even talk to her mother as well & they have a very close bond. Im going to stick with her for now, but will I not be an after thought here. Her mother dearly loves me & would love to see us together. I will respect her boundaries though. We have talked about sexual realtions & she is not against them but when married, which again Ill wait & respect her on this. We are slated to marry end of 2015 or begining of 2016 (we will see though). Any other insights are welcomed from gentlemen or even ladies. Thanks for the insights
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Re: thnks gentlemen

Postby Repatriate » Mon Sep 29, 2014 7:05 pm

ari wrote:Thank you very much for talking to me about this. I did recieve a email from her yesterday (finally). What I am seeing is a pattern of is the overacheiveing asian type (trying not to stereotype here). She talked about her very very busy schedule also. She stated that she does miss me but again I believe the lack of intimate experience is the key. I know she does not have a personality disorder (I am a mental health clinician for a living & would have caught that in the begining). I talk to her mother every week & she does not even talk to her mother as well & they have a very close bond. Im going to stick with her for now, but will I not be an after thought here. Her mother dearly loves me & would love to see us together. I will respect her boundaries though. We have talked about sexual realtions & she is not against them but when married, which again Ill wait & respect her on this. We are slated to marry end of 2015 or begining of 2016 (we will see though). Any other insights are welcomed from gentlemen or even ladies. Thanks for the insights


She's a person who has obtained a Ph.D without ever having a close interpersonal relationship. Do what you will. It seems like you already made up your mind. I'm telling you now with certainty that it will end badly. Some people just never learn. Beta and Omega for life I suppose.
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Postby drronnie » Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:07 am

Repatriate wrote:
Rock wrote:1. Easier and cheaper to get a wife in a very poor nearby country - that narrows it to Vietnam, Cambodia, PI, and Indonesia

2. Preference for lighter skin tone, similar to girls at home - that narrows it to Vietnam, SP, China and other NE Asian countries, and to a lessor extent, Thailand

I talked with mainly Singaporeans about this before and they seemed to indicate that compatibility was much more of an issue. Thai women tend to be lazy, unrealistic, and their family members are sponges. This sounds very familiar with what men who marry Filipinas complain about. Vietnamese women support their families too but they are productive and more orientated towards being a good wife. They also aren't known for whoring, partying, or being lazy bums. I'm sure there are those types in the p4p service industry too but it's not an intrinsic part of the greater Vietnamese society like it is in Thailand.

Skin tone matters a bit but that's probably a push when we're looking at a pool of attractive quality girls. There's a huge variety of Thai girls who meet the NE asian "spec" so to speak, especially girls from the northern areas like Chiang Mai/Chiang Rai but the personality attributes are worse and will probably be even more so a few years from now.

All in all the best natural fit for NE Asian countries is probably still the mainland though which makes total sense since that's like dipping into the original NE asian pool. However, because of the one child rule and decades of male dominated births the gender ratio is out of wack there. It's too bad because if China had a female population average like Thailand does I imagine the vast majority of men looking abroad from NE asian countries would be marrying Chinese.


You mean girls from Chiang Mai/Chiang Rai are worse personality than Isaan girls?
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Re: thai women

Postby Jester » Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:14 am

Repatriate wrote:
....you aren't anything in her eyes. Sorry to confirm what you probably know already but it's true. You're just some guy. My advice is to end it and move on.



Repatriate wrote:

Do what you will. It seems like you already made up your mind. I'm telling you now with certainty that it will end badly. Some people just never learn.



+1
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Postby ari » Sun Oct 05, 2014 7:42 pm

Mr repatriate & compnay

Why do you think this will end badly?? I need some insight here & I appreciate your respnoses. Please educate me some I might be missing something here.
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Re:

Postby drronnie » Thu Jun 11, 2015 10:26 am

drronnie wrote:
Repatriate wrote:
Rock wrote:1. Easier and cheaper to get a wife in a very poor nearby country - that narrows it to Vietnam, Cambodia, PI, and Indonesia

2. Preference for lighter skin tone, similar to girls at home - that narrows it to Vietnam, SP, China and other NE Asian countries, and to a lessor extent, Thailand

I talked with mainly Singaporeans about this before and they seemed to indicate that compatibility was much more of an issue. Thai women tend to be lazy, unrealistic, and their family members are sponges. This sounds very familiar with what men who marry Filipinas complain about. Vietnamese women support their families too but they are productive and more orientated towards being a good wife. They also aren't known for whoring, partying, or being lazy bums. I'm sure there are those types in the p4p service industry too but it's not an intrinsic part of the greater Vietnamese society like it is in Thailand.

Skin tone matters a bit but that's probably a push when we're looking at a pool of attractive quality girls. There's a huge variety of Thai girls who meet the NE asian "spec" so to speak, especially girls from the northern areas like Chiang Mai/Chiang Rai but the personality attributes are worse and will probably be even more so a few years from now.

All in all the best natural fit for NE Asian countries is probably still the mainland though which makes total sense since that's like dipping into the original NE asian pool. However, because of the one child rule and decades of male dominated births the gender ratio is out of wack there. It's too bad because if China had a female population average like Thailand does I imagine the vast majority of men looking abroad from NE asian countries would be marrying Chinese.


You mean girls from Chiang Mai/Chiang Rai are worse personality than Isaan girls?


bump
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Re: A few thoughts about Thai women and marriage.

Postby xiongmao » Thu Jun 11, 2015 3:57 pm

It was my experience (and still is) that if Asian (all?) girls really love you they will get clingy. They will message you every day and start liking every single thing you post on social media.

On the other hand it might work. I spotted two ultra geeky INTJs out together in Barcelona and they were clearly made for each other.
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Re: A few thoughts about Thai women and marriage.

Postby thaigirlmei » Tue Feb 07, 2017 7:53 am

My experience of loving a Thai woman called Mei (for short). To try cut long story short:

She's a working girl, travels overseas to places like Singapore, Malaysia, Taiwan, Hong Kong every so often to sell sex in places like hotel or private residential flats.

Fell in love with her and kept contact on WeChat and FB. We've had some quarrels now and then but she always come back to me. A long distance relationship of course not easy.

I even travelled to Thailand just to see her for a few days, even though I had no holidays left with my company. So basically I went no pay leave. I went to get to know her better and celebrate her Bday.

After I return to where I'm from (HK), one time we quarrel again. She went to work in Taiwan already. This was Chinese New Year coming 2017, (January time). A few days before CNY was my birthday.

Due to some previous quarrel, I was sad over Xmas and New Year day (Jan 01). These are times when people should be happy. Although we managed to get back together, on my birthday, she sent me message to say Happy Bday and then cut me off FB. I had wrote some unhappy things to her before, and I always thought for a long time she was unhappy at what I said. Everyday I try contact her on WeChat and FB but not get through. No responses from WeChat, (I think she deleted the app completely from her phone but not cut the account), and she blocked me from FB.

I told her before I was going to be busy with family over CNY. She asked me if I can marry her. I didn't respond right away because I got a little scared at saying yes too fast. And we were only knowing each other about 6 or 7 months by this time. I was also scared because I promised myself I can marry a second time, but never want to get a divorce a second time. A little hesitation is not guilty right?

In fact I wasn't even in HK for 2 days and had no wifi. She knew I was busy. I replied anyway to say I can marry her. Although not a straight yes marry now, but I did say I can marry her. Before we even agreed can give each other up to 2 years to make sure we're right for each other. But deep down I would marry her in less than a year, before end of 2017 I'd say.

When I got back HK after CNY, I noted she never replied that message when I said I can marry her. In fact she had blocked me from FB already. WTF to that. What happened? So for next 7 to 8 days I create new FB accounts trying to contact her through her friend's FB. Trying to respond in places she has made comments on so I know she will get the message. This is because there's no response from WeChat no matter what I write or how many times I call.

For over a week, I'm worried she's still angry at some bad things I said before CNY. I message her every day many times, (over a hundred each day), enough to not be able to do real work everyday. That's how much time I spent messaging everyday. I even went as far as looking for private investigators online to see who I can hire to help me find her mobile number and where she lives in Bangkok. I even got prices quoted for this. (Yes I never had her number yet).

One night, I annoyed her FB friend enough, Mei finally messaged me. Damn that night I was using my ipad and connection was bad. I couldn't write fast. I couldn't really type fast enough to say all the things I wanted. You know what she said? She said she just met a guy in Taiwan and will marry next month. So basically about 6 weeks later from that night. I don't know when she met this guy, but between her telling me she still loved me and her blocking me on FB, I'd say she had feelings for this guy while still saying she loved me. Now that's cruel.

She can get visa to Taiwan for 25 days each time. Even if I assume she met this guy on day 1, how can she say marry him so quickly. She had the courage to tell me that I was wrong because I tried come up with many reasons to not marry. She said that other guy agree with her etc., so basically she listened to that idiot instead of me. Probably that guy always saying bad things about me. Of course he will. He's trying to steal this girl away from me. The fact is I never said I cannot marry. She knows that I have things to sort out in my life. She knew everything and agreed with me many things before. All of a sudden she just use "I want family and have baby" as excuse to not wait for me anymore.

She also had courage to say I was number one when she asked me if I can marry her. So if I said yes in 2 seconds that day, she would choose me and not the other guy. She blocked me one hour later by the way on FB after asking if I can marry. Like if serious question, would you only give one hour? Not even give me chance to talk more after CNY after I'm busy. And she kept saying I'm the one who just play message and always come up with reason or excuses.

The whole time after CNY I tell her everyday I can marry her. But she not receive my messages is her problem, not mine. It's also a joke she said I was her number one. WTF. That mean there's a number two. So, how would she feel if I had a number two girl waiting for me as a back up during the whole relationship?

Thai girls, depending on education not easy to understand guys, especially those who sell sex work. Don't matter if they sell sex in a cheap bar, or overseas or in expensive hotels. This Thai girl before even told me she won't mind her daughter do same work when grow up, as long as she's a good person. As a parent of a daughter already, I was shocked to hear this when she told me in Thailand. But hey I can't argue with what she thinks is right.

I just want to finish by saying this girl block me without even saying goodbye. She didn't tell me about this other guy until I had annoyed her FB friend for few days. We were so good together, she could have at least tell me what was happening. This is called RESPECT right? This girl had no respect that I had strong feelings for her, really cared about her and loved her. All she cared was she was going to marry a guy she hardly Fxxing knows!

Of course I'm not speaking for the whole of Thailand, but guys, just another example right?

After that night she told me about the other guy on FB, she blocked me again. I've not bothered to create a new FB account since. I finished by sending just a few more messages to her wechat (don't care if she reads them or not) but basically just to say we could still be friends. There's absolutely no need to keep block me from everything, it's not like I'm trying to find her and kill her for God's sake! I wished her happiness from my heart and told her she can feel free to unblock me anytime from FB and wechat. And I truly hope she be happy.

The guy she will marry probably one of those middle class type, looking for secure life etc. But the way she can jump into a marriage like that, actually shows me she not right for me mentally. Anyways, I do hope she happy because at the end, she's not a bad person. But that Thai culture or whatever the problem is, can be a difficult obstacle that continuously creeps up in the relationship.

yeah a western girl somewhere might jump into marriage also. Some people do marry after knowing each other for few days only etc. But just trying to say, this girl did it a bit too selfishly. A more educated one may have given more respect for another's feelings. She always say she old (28) and want to be married by 30. That's not an excuse to screw people's hearts, minds and love around.

Just a thought...

M
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