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A few thoughts about Thai women and marriage.

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Re: thai women

Postby Jester » Sun Sep 28, 2014 4:59 am

ari wrote:I am engaged to an educated Thai woman. She appears to be a very sweet woman. She has a PHD & is currently working in Australia, when she is finished there she will come to USA to marry me then we return to Thailand to live. We were skyping & emailing but these have almost came to a stop. She has no experience in the real world, well traveled but has never had a boyfriend & is a virgin. She is not very thoughtful & seems to make me a second thought anymore. There will be more than a week or two before she emails me. Granted. the time is different between USA & Australia but there is no effort on her part to contact me. I work 75-80 hours a week & find time to at least email her. Is this type of thought lessness common with Thai women espcially educated ones?? Please let me know. She does not want american citizenship or any money from me. I am starting to have some second thoughts about this relationship. IS this cultural, a thai women personality or just her characterlogical make-up. Need some insight here from the professionals.


Not qualified re Thai women.

But re women in general.... from your description, it does sound like she is cooling off and losing interest.

Why not visit her in Australia or Thailand, rather than marrying her? Might be a nice visit, and less stress.

Anyway hopefully one of those who is familiar with Thai culture will weigh in here...
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Re: thai women

Postby Rock » Sun Sep 28, 2014 5:22 am

ari wrote:I am engaged to an educated Thai woman. She appears to be a very sweet woman. She has a PHD & is currently working in Australia, when she is finished there she will come to USA to marry me then we return to Thailand to live. We were skyping & emailing but these have almost came to a stop. She has no experience in the real world, well traveled but has never had a boyfriend & is a virgin. She is not very thoughtful & seems to make me a second thought anymore. There will be more than a week or two before she emails me. Granted. the time is different between USA & Australia but there is no effort on her part to contact me. I work 75-80 hours a week & find time to at least email her. Is this type of thought lessness common with Thai women espcially educated ones?? Please let me know. She does not want american citizenship or any money from me. I am starting to have some second thoughts about this relationship. IS this cultural, a thai women personality or just her characterlogical make-up. Need some insight here from the professionals.


I'm glad this thread got bumped by your post. Repat's intro is excellent and there's seems to be some golden info here.

AIB is no longer on this forum but perhaps Repat and others with deeper Thai experience will weigh in.

No matter what, if you are engaged to a girl from anywhere in the world and the communication has dropped off to virtually nothing, there is definitely something wrong. You need to talk with this girl and try to get to the bottom of it. Only then perhaps do you have a possibility of resolving it. If you try this and it proves impossible, well you are engaged to marry a woman who you can't even have a heart to heart conversation with. I can't imagine why someone would wanna co-habitate with a virtual stranger.
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Re: thai women

Postby OutWest » Sun Sep 28, 2014 5:45 am

Rock wrote:
ari wrote:I am engaged to an educated Thai woman. She appears to be a very sweet woman. She has a PHD & is currently working in Australia, when she is finished there she will come to USA to marry me then we return to Thailand to live. We were skyping & emailing but these have almost came to a stop. She has no experience in the real world, well traveled but has never had a boyfriend & is a virgin. She is not very thoughtful & seems to make me a second thought anymore. There will be more than a week or two before she emails me. Granted. the time is different between USA & Australia but there is no effort on her part to contact me. I work 75-80 hours a week & find time to at least email her. Is this type of thought lessness common with Thai women espcially educated ones?? Please let me know. She does not want american citizenship or any money from me. I am starting to have some second thoughts about this relationship. IS this cultural, a thai women personality or just her characterlogical make-up. Need some insight here from the professionals.


I'm glad this thread got bumped by your post. Repat's intro is excellent and there's seems to be some golden info here.

AIB is no longer on this forum but perhaps Repat and others with deeper Thai experience will weigh in.

No matter what, if you are engaged to a girl from anywhere in the world and the communication has dropped off to virtually nothing, there is definitely something wrong. You need to talk with this girl and try to get to the bottom of it. Only then perhaps do you have a possibility of resolving it. If you try this and it proves impossible, well you are engaged to marry a woman who you can't even have a heart to heart conversation with. I can't imagine why someone would wanna co-habitate with a virtual stranger.


Yes...maybe schedule a visit, but make sure it's not when her new boyfriend is around....
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Re: thai women

Postby Repatriate » Sun Sep 28, 2014 7:35 am

I have bad news for you.

ari wrote:I am engaged to an educated Thai woman. She appears to be a very sweet woman.


The majority of thai girls appear sweet. This doesn't mean anything in of itself.

She has a PHD & is currently working in Australia, when she is finished there she will come to USA to marry me then we return to Thailand to live. We were skyping & emailing but these have almost came to a stop. She has no experience in the real world, well traveled but has never had a boyfriend & is a virgin.


I don't believe in wifing up virgins you randomly meet. Virgins are women that need to be shaped and cultivated from the time you meet them. I've had sex with virgins before and there's nothing special about it (aside from clinginess) despite the fantasies of muslim fundamentalists and a few basement dwellers who post here. A woman who doesn't have relationship experience can be a big problem early on AND down the road. The fact that she has had no boyfriend and is a virgin and is a PHD indicates someone who may not have the most polished social skills. It's a big warning sign.

I will say that it's highly unusual for a Thai woman to have not been in a relationship at a certain age. If she's 25+ and never been in a relationship before it's a huge flag or she's blatantly lying.

Another issue is the physical intimacy one. Modern women are constantly distracted and she's a self proclaimed "virgin" so there's even less at stake here in the relationship from her point of view. You haven't had sex, you're some guy offering up marriage, etc.. She has no emotional investment. Women do bond from sex especially if you can make her orgasm. The simple fact is she has no relevant relationship experience to begin with. She may even be asexual and have some kind of personality disorder for all you know.


She is not very thoughtful & seems to make me a second thought anymore. There will be more than a week or two before she emails me. Granted. the time is different between USA & Australia but there is no effort on her part to contact me. I work 75-80 hours a week & find time to at least email her. Is this type of thought lessness common with Thai women espcially educated ones?? Please let me know. She does not want american citizenship or any money from me. I am starting to have some second thoughts about this relationship. IS this cultural, a thai women personality or just her characterlogical make-up. Need some insight here from the professionals.



This is what tells me that it's over. The thai girl I had a relationship with called me at least once (sometimes twice) a day to do facetime or skype. She was constantly missing me and sending me msgs. This happened for an entire year I was away in the U.S. From my experiences a thai girl who really truly loves you will move heaven and earth for you. They will send gifts, send endless msgs, call all the time, etc.. it's just standard for them.

Once a week means you aren't anything in her eyes. Sorry to confirm what you probably know already but it's true. You're just some guy. My advice is to end it and move on.
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thnks gentlemen

Postby ari » Sun Sep 28, 2014 6:29 pm

Thank you very much for talking to me about this. I did recieve a email from her yesterday (finally). What I am seeing is a pattern of is the overacheiveing asian type (trying not to stereotype here). She talked about her very very busy schedule also. She stated that she does miss me but again I believe the lack of intimate experience is the key. I know she does not have a personality disorder (I am a mental health clinician for a living & would have caught that in the begining). I talk to her mother every week & she does not even talk to her mother as well & they have a very close bond. Im going to stick with her for now, but will I not be an after thought here. Her mother dearly loves me & would love to see us together. I will respect her boundaries though. We have talked about sexual realtions & she is not against them but when married, which again Ill wait & respect her on this. We are slated to marry end of 2015 or begining of 2016 (we will see though). Any other insights are welcomed from gentlemen or even ladies. Thanks for the insights
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Re: thnks gentlemen

Postby Repatriate » Mon Sep 29, 2014 7:05 pm

ari wrote:Thank you very much for talking to me about this. I did recieve a email from her yesterday (finally). What I am seeing is a pattern of is the overacheiveing asian type (trying not to stereotype here). She talked about her very very busy schedule also. She stated that she does miss me but again I believe the lack of intimate experience is the key. I know she does not have a personality disorder (I am a mental health clinician for a living & would have caught that in the begining). I talk to her mother every week & she does not even talk to her mother as well & they have a very close bond. Im going to stick with her for now, but will I not be an after thought here. Her mother dearly loves me & would love to see us together. I will respect her boundaries though. We have talked about sexual realtions & she is not against them but when married, which again Ill wait & respect her on this. We are slated to marry end of 2015 or begining of 2016 (we will see though). Any other insights are welcomed from gentlemen or even ladies. Thanks for the insights


She's a person who has obtained a Ph.D without ever having a close interpersonal relationship. Do what you will. It seems like you already made up your mind. I'm telling you now with certainty that it will end badly. Some people just never learn. Beta and Omega for life I suppose.
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Postby drronnie » Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:07 am

Repatriate wrote:
Rock wrote:1. Easier and cheaper to get a wife in a very poor nearby country - that narrows it to Vietnam, Cambodia, PI, and Indonesia

2. Preference for lighter skin tone, similar to girls at home - that narrows it to Vietnam, SP, China and other NE Asian countries, and to a lessor extent, Thailand

I talked with mainly Singaporeans about this before and they seemed to indicate that compatibility was much more of an issue. Thai women tend to be lazy, unrealistic, and their family members are sponges. This sounds very familiar with what men who marry Filipinas complain about. Vietnamese women support their families too but they are productive and more orientated towards being a good wife. They also aren't known for whoring, partying, or being lazy bums. I'm sure there are those types in the p4p service industry too but it's not an intrinsic part of the greater Vietnamese society like it is in Thailand.

Skin tone matters a bit but that's probably a push when we're looking at a pool of attractive quality girls. There's a huge variety of Thai girls who meet the NE asian "spec" so to speak, especially girls from the northern areas like Chiang Mai/Chiang Rai but the personality attributes are worse and will probably be even more so a few years from now.

All in all the best natural fit for NE Asian countries is probably still the mainland though which makes total sense since that's like dipping into the original NE asian pool. However, because of the one child rule and decades of male dominated births the gender ratio is out of wack there. It's too bad because if China had a female population average like Thailand does I imagine the vast majority of men looking abroad from NE asian countries would be marrying Chinese.


You mean girls from Chiang Mai/Chiang Rai are worse personality than Isaan girls?
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Re: thai women

Postby Jester » Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:14 am

Repatriate wrote:
....you aren't anything in her eyes. Sorry to confirm what you probably know already but it's true. You're just some guy. My advice is to end it and move on.



Repatriate wrote:

Do what you will. It seems like you already made up your mind. I'm telling you now with certainty that it will end badly. Some people just never learn.



+1
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Postby ari » Sun Oct 05, 2014 7:42 pm

Mr repatriate & compnay

Why do you think this will end badly?? I need some insight here & I appreciate your respnoses. Please educate me some I might be missing something here.
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Re:

Postby drronnie » Thu Jun 11, 2015 10:26 am

drronnie wrote:
Repatriate wrote:
Rock wrote:1. Easier and cheaper to get a wife in a very poor nearby country - that narrows it to Vietnam, Cambodia, PI, and Indonesia

2. Preference for lighter skin tone, similar to girls at home - that narrows it to Vietnam, SP, China and other NE Asian countries, and to a lessor extent, Thailand

I talked with mainly Singaporeans about this before and they seemed to indicate that compatibility was much more of an issue. Thai women tend to be lazy, unrealistic, and their family members are sponges. This sounds very familiar with what men who marry Filipinas complain about. Vietnamese women support their families too but they are productive and more orientated towards being a good wife. They also aren't known for whoring, partying, or being lazy bums. I'm sure there are those types in the p4p service industry too but it's not an intrinsic part of the greater Vietnamese society like it is in Thailand.

Skin tone matters a bit but that's probably a push when we're looking at a pool of attractive quality girls. There's a huge variety of Thai girls who meet the NE asian "spec" so to speak, especially girls from the northern areas like Chiang Mai/Chiang Rai but the personality attributes are worse and will probably be even more so a few years from now.

All in all the best natural fit for NE Asian countries is probably still the mainland though which makes total sense since that's like dipping into the original NE asian pool. However, because of the one child rule and decades of male dominated births the gender ratio is out of wack there. It's too bad because if China had a female population average like Thailand does I imagine the vast majority of men looking abroad from NE asian countries would be marrying Chinese.


You mean girls from Chiang Mai/Chiang Rai are worse personality than Isaan girls?


bump
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Re: A few thoughts about Thai women and marriage.

Postby xiongmao » Thu Jun 11, 2015 3:57 pm

It was my experience (and still is) that if Asian (all?) girls really love you they will get clingy. They will message you every day and start liking every single thing you post on social media.

On the other hand it might work. I spotted two ultra geeky INTJs out together in Barcelona and they were clearly made for each other.
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