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Filipinas and their Parents?

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Filipinas and their Parents?

Postby The_Hero_of_Men » November 21st, 2011, 1:51 am

I am just curious, as to anyone that has ever gotten involved with a Filipina (besides Winston, with all due respect to him), what is the process you have to go through with their parents? I ask that because there is this Filipina that I am talking to from Cherry Blossoms (she is a few years younger than me), and for some odd reason, she has fallen for me kinda quickly. I asked her if we were ever to meet, would I have to meet her parents, and she said Yes. My question is this: Is there some special ritual or whatever I have to do when I meet her parents? What exactly do I need to do when I meet her parents?
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tradition

Postby targetguy » November 21st, 2011, 3:27 am

8) I am no expert on this but i think its tradition that the prospective husband meet the family and relatives. Also for immigration purposes that is a question that will
be asked. I went through the whole nine yards with my first fiance meeting the family being friendly only to go back to the us and in correspondence finding out she didnt want to get married. A lot of these gals are in love on the internet but sometimes not always for love.
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Re: tradition

Postby The_Hero_of_Men » November 21st, 2011, 3:32 am

targetguy wrote:8) I am no expert on this but i think its tradition that the prospective husband meet the family and relatives. Also for immigration purposes that is a question that will
be asked. I went through the whole nine yards with my first fiance meeting the family being friendly only to go back to the us and in correspondence finding out she didnt want to get married. A lot of these gals are in love on the internet but sometimes not always for love.


I will keep that in mind...
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Re: tradition

Postby zboy1 » November 21st, 2011, 3:55 am

targetguy wrote:8) I am no expert on this but i think its tradition that the prospective husband meet the family and relatives. Also for immigration purposes that is a question that will
be asked. I went through the whole nine yards with my first fiance meeting the family being friendly only to go back to the us and in correspondence finding out she didnt want to get married. A lot of these gals are in love on the internet but sometimes not always for love.


Yes, this is true for almost all Asian societies from China to India. In Korea, its extremely important for the parents to approve of the relationship or else the son or daughter will be shunned by the entire family.
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Postby Raja » November 21st, 2011, 7:36 am

Keep in mind that if she is younger then 25 they can technically stop you from marrying her in the Philippines by refusing consent, if she is under 21 and from 21 to 25 forcing a 6 month delay in the official marriage date.
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Postby Falcon » November 21st, 2011, 8:20 am

What problems do the guys themselves experience with their own parents (especially if they're young)?
How did Winston's parents react to his dating Filipinas?
I can imagine that First World parents would be very uneasy, whereas the Third World parents would tend to be enthusiastic.

As for the Filipinas and parents thing, if she says she wants you to meet her parents, it means she's thinking about serious marriage. This exact same thing happens in Latin America. Because if you're marrying one girl, you're pretty much marrying into their entire extended family. First of all, they would want to get to know you as a person, and also what sort of role you'd be playing within their kinship system.
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Postby The_Hero_of_Men » November 21st, 2011, 4:23 pm

Raja wrote:Keep in mind that if she is younger then 25 they can technically stop you from marrying her in the Philippines by refusing consent, if she is under 21 and from 21 to 25 forcing a 6 month delay in the official marriage date.


Is this a law in the philippines?
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Postby Raja » November 21st, 2011, 6:00 pm

Yes
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Postby Twobrains » November 21st, 2011, 11:24 pm

Though I have no direct experience of this situation, I'm sure I read somewhere that meeting a young Filipina's parents is taken to be a very significant step on the man's part, almost tantamount to a proposal of marriage. It is NOT like westerners just popping round and showing their face to their western girl's parents, just so they can check you're not an axe murderer. I wouldn't visit a Filipina's family unless I had very serious intentions. You could well end up being railroaded into something. I may have got all this wrong, so someone correct me if necessary.
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Postby The_Hero_of_Men » November 22nd, 2011, 2:07 am

Raja wrote:Yes


Why is it like that?
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Postby The_Hero_of_Men » November 22nd, 2011, 2:09 am

Twobrains wrote:Though I have no direct experience of this situation, I'm sure I read somewhere that meeting a young Filipina's parents is taken to be a very significant step on the man's part, almost tantamount to a proposal of marriage. It is NOT like westerners just popping round and showing their face to their western girl's parents, just so they can check you're not an axe murderer. I wouldn't visit a Filipina's family unless I had very serious intentions. You could well end up being railroaded into something. I may have got all this wrong, so someone correct me if necessary.


What do you mean by "possibly being RRed (railroaded) into something"?
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Postby Winston » November 22nd, 2011, 3:29 am

Well it means you're getting serious with her, or else she just wants her parents to see you to see what they think. It doesn't always mean they are serious.

I've had girls invite me to meet their parents after one date, or during our first meeting.

However, there's little advantage in it. They ain't gonna do anything for you. But you risk getting asked for money. They may test you to see how "extractable" you are.

Dianne's family and relatives tried to extract from me several times, but stopped after they failed.

In their hearts, they do not see you as part of their family. They just say that to make you feel obligated to support them. Why would they give a F about you? You're not their blood or family. Filipinos often backstab their own relatives, so why wouldn't they do that to you?
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Postby Raja » November 22nd, 2011, 3:59 am

The_Hero_of_Men wrote:
Raja wrote:Yes


Why is it like that?

Why is there no divorce? Why is adultery a crime? Why can't American adults drink until they are 21? It is just a matter of what the culture values. In the Philippines you are marrying the family. They just decided to extend parental veto rights until 21 and allow parents to impose a six month cooling off period until 25.

However the world is changing as the unwed birth rate has spiked up to 38% compared to the American 40%. And I don't think that counts separated women who have children with the new boyfriend and not "the legal husband"
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Postby Mr S » November 22nd, 2011, 6:16 am

Actually from talking to a fellow Filipina co-worker, women can marry at 18 and the men at 21. The reason I know this is because one of the interview questions I ask a lot is about "the most important birthday age" and they always mention that, so I asked one of the people I work with about it. I guess the women are deemed to be more mature at an earlier age so are up for marriage whereas the men need a bit more time plus the ability to estabish himself in the work place a bit to support a family.

There is no divorce in Philippines because the government still cow-tows to the Catholic church. It's the last holdout Catholic country in the world regarding divorce.

I'm not sure what the parents can actually do regarding consent in a marriage but it's possible they could put a stop to it or delay. It's still pretty traditional here in regards to social formalities.

All you have to do is research what the Catholic church accepts as proper family culture and attitudes and that is what the Philippines is in regards to "proper" relationships. Although the younger generation doesn't seem to give a shit about the church as much and the church and older generation here are constantly bitching about it in the paper every other day.
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Postby Raja » November 22nd, 2011, 1:00 pm

Females can marry at 18, with consent. That is the hard limit. A 17 year old mother can not marry even if papa pulls out his guns to force the issue. Some local official may try to fix the situation but that doesn't change the base law.
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