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Chinese women don't give false flattery

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Chinese women don't give false flattery

Postby Winston » Sat Dec 24, 2011 10:17 pm

A credible source told me this about Chinese women, which further proves that the compliments they give to me are most likely genuine.

Hey again Winston,

I was reading this post and one thing did jump out at me based on my personal experiences. Remember that I have told you I have corresponded with Chinese women online --mostly through paid Asian web sites. I am not a particularly attractive man at all--being bald and having been told by various women I am unattractive (thanks to all of them for that, lol). I realize beauty is in the eye of the beholder, lol, but I have chatted many Pinays who would lie to me and tell me I am gwapo and it was an obvious lie and even some Thai women have also told me I am handsome--but NEVER has a Chinese woman said this because I think they are not quick to give out compliments consisting of insincere flattery. I am saying that if Chinese women have written you and told you they found you handsome then it does prove your point regarding your looks--because, in my experience, these women do not throw compliments around that are not consistent with reality. Many, on the other hand, have told me I sounded smart and interesting (which I hope is true) and were impressed by my letters to them--but none has gratuitously and falsely praised me for being "handsome."


Sorry bashers, but the odds are on my side this time. :)

However, in any case, it doesn't really matter what YOU bashers think, because I'm not trying to date or f**k you guys. So whether you guys think I'm ugly or handsome is inconsequential. What matters is what the women I am interested in think. And so far, that has leaned in a positive direction. :)

Therefore, your battle to bring me down has FAILED. GAME OVER! YOU LOSE! END OF STORY! OVER AND OUT!


You can rant all you want to try to bring me down, but it won't work. Your efforts are futile, and DO NOT change anything. Your efforts are better spent improving YOUR own lives or going abroad to find your own happiness and success, not in bringing others down, you sickos! Meditate on that.

But for now, I'm done with this and am not debating it anymore, especially since I've already WON. There is a saying that applies here: "Never argue with a fool. People might not notice the difference."
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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Postby Winston » Sun Jun 17, 2012 6:17 pm

Repatriate,
Check this out. A Chinese girl from PlentyofFish thinks I'm handsome. Remember, Chinese women don't give false flattery.

"Thank you for your sincere letter.
You are an excellent man. Hope someday I could manage my own business like you.I can't believe that a man like you ,so excellent,has no girlfriend.Maybe you have many chasers, but you just haven't met your real girl.
You look a little like my school counsellor.But he is much younger than you.You two both are handsome.😄
Hope we can be friends.
Regards
Sherry"

As it's been explained to you, it's not impossible for some women to find me good looking.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Re: Chinese women don't give false flattery

Postby Jester » Sun Jun 17, 2012 7:05 pm

Winston wrote:[size=14]A credible source told me this about Chinese women, which further proves that the compliments they give to me are most likely genuine.

Hey again Winston,

I was reading this post and one thing did jump out at me based on my personal experiences. Remember that I have told you I have corresponded with Chinese women online --mostly through paid Asian web sites. I am not a particularly attractive man at all--being bald and having been told by various women I am unattractive (thanks to all of them for that, lol). I realize beauty is in the eye of the beholder, lol, but I have chatted many Pinays who would lie to me and tell me I am gwapo and it was an obvious lie and even some Thai women have also told me I am handsome--but NEVER has a Chinese woman said this because I think they are not quick to give out compliments consisting of insincere flattery. I am saying that if Chinese women have written you and told you they found you handsome then it does prove your point regarding your looks--because, in my experience, these women do not throw compliments around that are not consistent with reality. Many, on the other hand, have told me I sounded smart and interesting (which I hope is true) and were impressed by my letters to them--but none has gratuitously and falsely praised me for being "handsome."


Sorry bashers, but the odds are on my side this time. :)



Good info on Chinese women, thanks.

And oh yes congrats on the gratifying proof.
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Postby publicduende » Sun Jun 17, 2012 7:31 pm

Winston, I rarely step in on topics like these, but this one is tickling my curiosity. Honestly, how old are you? I assume around 35, or older than 30 anyway. Don't you think these kinds of tantrums on your good looks (or lack thereof) are a bit too teenagerish?

I would understand if my 14 years old cousin were to come to me and say he looks ugly and thinks he will never get a girl to kiss him, but a man more than twice that age still looking for reassurance on his physical appearance borders pathetic in my book. I know some other people here threw the first stone by telling you how average, or below-average, or unattractive you are, and you have a right of reply. Yet, to resuscitate a (very) old thread to post "fresh" evidence and boast about it in bold text and exclamation marks...only tends to prove that you're still incredibly insecure and need to constantly hang on to such things for your peace of mind.

It may well be that the age range of people posting here (let alone lurkers) is massive, might well be 16 to 60, so we get a full gamut of opinion on how good looks influence their dating and mating success. It is a fact of life, at least normal life, though, that for men our age bracket (I'm 38), physical appearance means next to nothing anymore. I'm not saying young women won't like a mature partner who also happens to be cute, or handsome, yet their choices are far more likely to be driven by other factors: how comfortable you look in your own skin, how much confidence and serenity you can project, how serious your personal and social endeavours are, etc. All stuff you should know already, and if not, try to think through and embrace as soon as you possibly can.
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Postby Jester » Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:36 am

publicduende wrote:...I'm not saying young women won't like a mature partner who also happens to be cute, or handsome, yet their choices are far more likely to be driven by other factors: how comfortable you look in your own skin, how much confidence and serenity you can project, how serious your personal and social endeavours are, etc. All stuff you should know already, and if not, try to think through and embrace as soon as you possibly can.


+1
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Postby Repatriate » Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:21 am

Your argument literally makes no sense whatsoever because you're essentially saying Chinese women don't lie when it comes to judging personal qualities. Saying _x_ ethnicity doesn't lie about _x_ because they are _x_ ethnicity is preposterous. Everyone has the capacity to lie it's not limited in any culture.

Btw, Winston you understand Mandarin right? You do know the expression "Pai mah pi" right? It means to bullshit someone. I don't know how to write it out in Chinese. Maybe Momopi can come here and translate it for you but Chinese people do it all the time men and women alike.

You're saying false flattery doesn't exist in Chinese culture with women and there's even a Chinese word for it. :lol:
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Postby Winston » Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:58 am

Repatriate wrote:Your argument literally makes no sense whatsoever because you're essentially saying Chinese women don't lie when it comes to judging personal qualities. Saying _x_ ethnicity doesn't lie about _x_ because they are _x_ ethnicity is preposterous. Everyone has the capacity to lie it's not limited in any culture.

Btw, Winston you understand Mandarin right? You do know the expression "Pai mah pi" right? It means to bullshit someone. I don't know how to write it out in Chinese. Maybe Momopi can come here and translate it for you but Chinese people do it all the time men and women alike.

You're saying false flattery doesn't exist in Chinese culture with women and there's even a Chinese word for it. :lol:


Sure the word exists. But anyone who knows Chinese women know that they don't give false flattery by nature. They are far more direct and honest than Filipinas are for example.

Btw, didn't you say before that Chinese women aren't as picky as Taiwanese women? How do you know this? If so, why can't you just accept that if they are less picky, then their standards aren't as high or uptight?

Not everyone is super picky, esp in poorer countries. Not every culture has the same standards of beauty. Most Filipinas consider me to be good looking for sure.

You aren't infallible you know. You were wrong about the ladyboy being a real girl, remember? Stop being so arrogant.

Besides, I sent her my good pictures when I was a little younger and not as fat.

Why is the concept that "not everyone has the same opinion as you in regard to looks" so hard for you to understand?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby royalism » Wed Jul 04, 2012 5:18 am

Winston wrote:Repatriate,
Check this out. A Chinese girl from PlentyofFish thinks I'm handsome. Remember, Chinese women don't give false flattery.

"Thank you for your sincere letter.
You are an excellent man. Hope someday I could manage my own business like you.I can't believe that a man like you ,so excellent,has no girlfriend.Maybe you have many chasers, but you just haven't met your real girl.
You look a little like my school counsellor.But he is much younger than you.You two both are handsome.😄
Hope we can be friends.
Regards
Sherry"

As it's been explained to you, it's not impossible for some women to find me good looking.


I thought maybe you of all people would have already know this Winston. The Chinese girl is giving you face.

"Face" (the way I interpret it) is finding something you can appreciate about a person and then complimenting him. If you think someone is alright looking, but definitely not ugly you would call him "handsome".

its not flattery. its just being friendly.
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Postby Falcon » Wed Jul 04, 2012 5:59 am

Repatriate wrote:Btw, Winston you understand Mandarin right? You do know the expression "Pai mah pi" right? It means to bullshit someone. I don't know how to write it out in Chinese. Maybe Momopi can come here and translate it for you but Chinese people do it all the time men and women alike.


"Pai ma pi" is 拍马屁. Literally it means to "pat a horse's buttocks." The idiomatic meaning is "false flattery." Chinese people do this all the time with peers and relations during social events.

(By the way, Momopi and I have met face-to-face, and our conversations are entirely in Mandarin.)


royalism wrote:"Face" (the way I interpret it) is finding something you can appreciate about a person and then complimenting him. If you think someone is alright looking, but definitely not ugly you would call him "handsome".


"Face" is mianzi or 面子. A lot of it is about how you act in front of someone.

Chinese people often pair up false flattery with self-deprecation. When two families with children meet up, they would often praise the other family's children as intelligent role models, and then say their own are misbehaved bad kids. But when it comes to romance, false flattery happens much less. Chinese women tend to be much more straightforward, practical, and realistic when dealing with potential life partners, and aren't that likely to resort to false flattery unless they seriously digging for a lot of gold in the man's pockets.

I have also been called handsome by some older Chinese women, and I do believe they're absolutely sincere about it.

Note that Chinese people also often put on a "mask" of properness and deference when they're using English. Winston, you should by all means try to use as much Chinese as possible with your Chinese ladies, since they can express their true emotions and personalities much better in Chinese than in English.


Winston wrote:Not everyone is super picky, esp in poorer countries. Not every culture has the same standards of beauty.


I agree with Winston on this one. My look (slicked-back gelled hair, tan skin, more mature look not very common among East Asian guys) appeals much more to Latinas than to Chinese women (non-Americanized of course), who usually prefer that "long hair metrosexual pretty boy" look rather than the more macho look that Latinas tend to like.
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Postby Repatriate » Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:36 pm

Falcon wrote:
Repatriate wrote:Btw, Winston you understand Mandarin right? You do know the expression "Pai mah pi" right? It means to bullshit someone. I don't know how to write it out in Chinese. Maybe Momopi can come here and translate it for you but Chinese people do it all the time men and women alike.


"Pai ma pi" is 拍马屁. Literally it means to "pat a horse's buttocks." The idiomatic meaning is "false flattery." Chinese people do this all the time with peers and relations during social events.

Precisely. Despite Winston's claims that there is no false flattery in Chinese it's everywhere in Chinese culture. It's embedded in face and there's even a term for it.
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