ladislav wrote: Try Thia, Korea, SP, Japan, Korea, China Taiwan, HK, Malaysia, Vietnam, or perhaps even Cambodia or Burma. Forget PI.
The problem with those countries is that race mixing there is not easy. Many don't like people of other nationalities/races. read: racism! You also need to learn another language and the religious values are very different. In the RP it is much easier and there are fewer racial barriers. Mixed kids also don't experience much racial taunting and ostracism for which the the above-mentioned countries are quite notorious. That is one issue that is not being mentioned. Visas are another problem. In the Philippines, visas are easy and foreigners are not seen as a threat to the culture. Long term visas in other countries are often a pain in the neck.
So what if they are prettier and classier? Will they favor a white/black/other race/nationality guy as husband material or just see him as a toy to play with or a spare tire in case no local guy wants them? I hate a girl not inviting me to her house because she is ashamed of what her neighbors will say. I don't want to have a mixed kid being called all sorts of names and growing up with a complex. These things need to be considered as well.
- I think race is over emphasized as a success factor in much of today’s Asia. Every Asian country will have a certain percentage of girls open to dating at least some regular type white and/or black foreigners for long term relationships that might lead to marriage. It’s very hard to estimate what those percentages are. But let’s consider the most loved and hated country on this forum, the PI which is spun as the least racist Asian country. Perhaps it is. But most presentable young girls there seem to come from the middle class and above and do not seem open to white foreigners, especially the older ones. Read Winston’s observations comparing middle class Filipinos to their Taiwanese counterparts. According to him, it’s very rare to see a white guy among a group of relatively well-off locals in PI but quite common in Taiwan. That speaks volumes. As for the better looking Filipinas from lower classes (pretty rare but there are a few), they tend to get picked-off by younger Koreans or even local guys (at least that’s what I observed in Cebu). When you do find one who’s available, she may be open to dating a whitey, but probably only a younger one unless she’s a hard-core gold-digger. In Cebu, I met a long term expat who appeared to be mid 50s at least and he claimed that even a lot of the bar girls would not go with him cus they said he’s too old. A lot of good his white skin did him there.
Perhaps you are concerned about how your mixed child will get treated and accepted in the local environment. Well, since PI is so non-racist, he should do great there. But wait. Who wants to raise a kid in that shit-hole environment? Just ask Mr S or even Winston. So the issue is largely irrelevant I think.
Even if 90% of girls in PI are open to dating and marrying white guys, understand that most of them are from the lower classes and the rare better looking of these will generally be pickier about looks and age. If you like short, dark, plain, and simple, this should be fine. But if you are attracted to girls and women who are more presentable, you will likely be very disappointed, kinda the way ph_visitor is.
- S. Korea and Japan are notorious for being xenophobic and perhaps racist. Perhaps the percentage of young women open to serious relationships with at least some white guys in these countries is small – 15%, 10%, 5% or even less. I don’t know. But I do believe that within the respective pools, there are plenty of decent looking or better middle class girls. This belief is based on the mixed white/Japanese or white/Korean couples I’ve met or seen over the years. A handful of posters on this forum have solid experience with Japanese and/or Korean gals and I think most of it has generally sounded positive. One mutual friend I have with Winston had a Japanese wife and a couple of children with her, both still living in Japan. He’s very positive on the experience but I did not ask him how his children get treated. I suspect that mixed race children would likely have issues in both Japan and Korea. So with these gals, perhaps it’s better to relocate with her to a more favorable third country before starting a family.
- Taiwan, which has an over 98% ethnic Han Chinese population, is kinda like a mix of NE Asia and PI, taking the better of both. It’s got a somewhat friendly island culture. Younger generation in Taipei has been educated to be accepting of other races (used to be issues with SE Asian domestics and laborers) and mixed white/Chinese children are truly adored by about everyone. The general sentiment is that they are better looking and smarter. I would venture to say that at least 80-85% of local young women would be open to seriously dating a white foreigner, especially if he speaks some Mandarin or Taiwanese and has an open attitude about local culture. You may not have access to the very elite (where do you though) but dating girls, even seriously, from relatively wealthy families for from the top local unis is not a problem (I’ve done plenty of both). Contrary to what Lad has written, life for the foreigner improves there as you absorb the local language and ways. Now over 80% in a pool of girls who are in general much better looking, taller, more refined, and classier when compared to Filipinas, even middle class Filipinas, bodes well for your search if quality is at all a factor. And with Taiwanese, you don’t have to be a sugar daddy or Santa Clause.
Would mixed couples have issues living there or would their children get treated differently? It’s still possible. A lot boils down to the specific couple and kid(s). If the kid is cool and popular, his mixed race status will probably work in his favor. If he’s extremely anti-social or has other critical people issues, than it may be used against him. For most, I don’t think it will be such a big deal either way though. And it may even cause some others to be jealous.
- PRC, is probably a gold-mine for about anyone. I remember a dating agency owner did a poll a few years ago to find out the percentage of Chinese women open to or preferring to date and marry a foreigner. I forget the precise percentages of the results. But I do remember it was way over half, probably at least 70% who fit into at least one of those two categories. Was his poll accurate? Who knows? But even if the subset is just one third or one fourth, you still should be very well there as a foreigner given the absolute numbers involved. Winston has written a lot about Chinese women recently – being smart, detail oriented, beautiful, refined, consistent, switched-on, etc. My experience kicking about China tends to be in-line with most of his observations. One of my closest friends married a PRC girl 25 years his junior and is still going strong with her after nearly a decade. And majority look so much better than the PI country bumpkin peasants available to foreigners in PI. So what are the issues with Chinese women:
a. its hard to find very curvy and sexy types like you can in Taiwan, SP, and even Thai b. you may have a bigger challenge with them once you get to the ‘power struggle’ stage. Eventually, someone has to be ‘the boss’. It’s probably easier to pull that off w/a typical PI gal than a Chinese. There are always exceptions though. c. If marriage is not your goal, majority of appropriate aged women will not be interested in dating you unless you string them along. So you will have to deceive or else stick with the very young or over 30 set.
- Thailand may be one of the most interesting places to live in Asia. In a way, the environment is more multi-cultural than even SP. Huge foreign ghettos for various nationalities or races exist. It all seems to revolve around fun, kinda like the Brazil of Asia. Reality here varies so much from person to person, Thai speaker or otherwise. Locals have a nasty reputation with many. But keep in mind, 30% or so of population is from Issan which has a culture many feel is more accepting of westerners (perhaps largely due to necessity?). I remember Lad, the ultimate Thai pessimist, has even written that his experiences with Issanites was a lot more benign. Some foreigners go native, others stick with their very large home-country/region bubbles, and some even adopt third cultures. A good friend of mine who has lived in Patts over 4 years has integrated into the Israeli community and learned a lot of Hebrew. If I was here longer term, I might be interested to do something similar with the Russans.
Now as far as LT relationships w/Thais go, my advice to anyone, Asian or otherwise is proceed with extreme caution or better yet, bypass such relationships altogether here. This ain’t just an Asian vs. Farang guy thing. Repat is NE Asian and has lived here for sever years. Yet I believe he has similar sentiments. This is where you come to be a playboy for awhile, even if you’re older. But if you must get married, there are probably much safer options. Personally, if I were to go for marriage, I would prolly choose a Taiwanese but bring her to settle somewhere in Thailand.
- SP/Malaysia: Serious LT relationship should be very doable for westerners with much of Chinese population at least. In SP, it will help a lot if you are a true professional or relatively wealthy or else just very young with a bright future.
If you are uber sensitive about how others in Asia might treat you somewhat special due to your different race and are very insecure about this, then much of Asia might not be a very comfortable place for you to live. Cus lets face it, over here, you’re bloody different, especially in NE Asia. Even I treat foreigners different in some ways and I’m one of them. But Thai has so many farang on other types of foreigners from almost everywhere that I actually think in many ways, its easier live as a whitey here than much of the rest of Asia. And I think Taiwan is totally fine if you can halfway adjust to local culture. China’s prolly gonna be real tough for some though. HK and especially SP great if you are a professional and can integrate into local expat culture or if u are a student in a uni like NUS in SP (Chinese U or HK U in HK prolly much tougher).
