Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
I guess the key was "on a dating site". Admittidly I have no ideal about those on the bride sites. However a quick look at Facebook should get rid of the out dated notion that a Filipina will not wear a bikini
If you are wondering if the Filipina you are corresponding with is a scammer or not, or lying to you about her life, a friend of mine has a new Private Eye service in the Philippines that can investigate her for you. Here is his website about it.
Check it out. His motto is "Don't just wonder! Get answers!"
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.
Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
They are not scammers. However, most of the girls you meet online are!
Want to get normal Filipina? Then expatriate.. live here and you will get a flood.
"So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It's probably worth it."
Like to read?Third World Hero
Like to see?3WorldHero -- Did he really just do that?
That is about the most reliable advice you can offer...and you might add, don't expect a
great response if you live in AC and spend your time mongering. Seems like straight girls
can smell mongers a mile away.
I agree. I get the sense they can & are very good at it. Sincere people can easily smell a rat. That's not to say the mongering lifestyle is bad, if that is your thing. Crossing back & forth like changing hats is often easier said than done with genuine people.
Does the phrase 'gold diggers go away, you will not get money from me' or something like that, helps a little?
How I can avoid, the girls that intend to ask me money after some...weeks?
I have told myself that I will spent time on this online dating game, but, spending my time for weeks, just to hear 'one more sad story that ends with a suspicion of asking money', it is something that really annoys me.
I have managed to turn out possible gold diggers that are interested for fast money.
But, discussing for weeks, giving energy and thinking for having a nice talk with a 'serious' girl, just to find out that she is now in misfortune and she needs...help, I have a difficulty to accept it.
I understand that there is poverty, so some incidents may be real.
But I am not supposed to support a filipina that I met online, for anything bad happened 'now' in her life.
If we are in connection for months, we made skype's, we met, ok, I could help.
But not after some weeks of online chatting.
I am willing to fully support her, from the time we would be together.
Not from just online talking...even if she 'seems' to be the most good girl on the planet...'demons transformed to angels'...
The last instance I had, that disappointed me, it is with a girl I talked for weeks, she seemed so ideal and hooked on me, I was serious with her, and now she tells me that she almost become ill in her small apartment where she lives in the town. She went in town to work, to help her family(parents) in the village, and she rent the most cheap room. Now, it is so hot that she cannot sleep, she almost cannot breathe there as there is no air condition, etc. She does not asked me money directly, but after telling these and almost sending very few messages, I suppose this is the meaning of all these. Real or fake? Who knows. What do you think? I told her to rent a room with an air condition, because even if she spent more, she will be able to continue to work, to support her family as she wants, and this way, the extra money for the rent will be returned back to her. She told me she cannot afford to rent other room. So, what do think about her?
I do not know.
Tell me a phrase to make a clear declaration, that they are not going to get any money from me, in any case! Period.
If I had to support each poor filipina I met online and talk to, I would be the 'red cross', not a normal guy!
I wait your thoughts.
^ Subtle hinting like that usually translates into "I want some cash!"
Like been previously said, it's best to go over and hang out for awhile, meet a girl and get to know her properly. Meeting a genuine Pinay on dating sites is getting harder by the day as more and more women are realising that gullible westerners are their salvation.
Many of all foreign women online are scammers (not just from Philippines). There is a fairly easy to around this IMHO. I don't post as much as I used to but nothing has really changed. If I were to do this process all over again I'd be using the advanced search engines and looking for girls that have their 4 year degree. Then use that list and look for the girls that look innocent, cute girl next door appearance. Just doing this edit alone will purge most of the scammers.
So to answer the above question, I married a 21 year old that I found on Cherry Blossoms and brought her back home. She's been her 10 years and life is good. Gotta remember that it's YOU that is the catch for these women. Be picky and remember 80% of the guys that go to these sites never make it over for a visit so if you are willing to, you jump right to the head of the line.
Stop! Stop right there. Let me put this in real terms, THEY DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.
Any honest, self respecting Filipina is not gonna ask for money. If she even hints at it its time to next her. You need to get it out of your head that you need to or would support these girls. They have gotten along 18+ years without you, its not gonna change once you are out of the picture. You are falling into the perfect trap to get taken advantage of because you are showing sympathy when it is not necessary.
To reiterate Pete's point, a degree, a job, and a thoughtful profile about not needing money, needs to be your base criteria for choosing women online. I just ended a 2 year partly online "relationship" (if you can call it that) with a Filipina I had met on one of my previous trips. Not once in the 2 years did she ever hint about money. We took a 10 day long vacation together around the Philippines recently in which she funded half of it by her choosing. Why? Because she was well educated, had a great job (which kinda was the cause for it ending), and felt it was demeaning for her to look for money other than from her own hard work.
What most guys don't realize is that there are plenty of normal, middle income girls in the country. You don't have to settle for the poor ones. My ex had two Mac books, a new galaxy phone, a couple credit cards, bought her dad a sari sari store and a small mango farm, not to mention was looking at purchasing a new car. I met her on FC. The nurse I went out with recently and am currently talking to has been to 7 different countries around SE Asia, shops at greenbelt, and routinely drinks starbucks. I met her on tinder.
I agree with you, valuable advice!
Clarify me something. The girl you chose and be with, after the '2 years online party', she is a girl that you physically have met in one of your trips ther and outside the internet dating, or you knew her through online dating and you met her in real?
From my side, I am not sure how I can focus well.
I don't have a problem for a girl to be poor.
I have problem if she is gonna play the 'drama' for help.
I am ok with a poor girl, I am not ok with a desperate girl who wants coverage for herself and her paternal family.
I wonder, if a girl is not so poor, and she has some income, will she want to relocate? I am not sure.
I met her on Filipino Cupid before my 2014 trip. She sent me a lengthy and intelligent message describing who she was and what she was looking for. I was impressed with her intelligence and demeanor, though she wasn't quite the type physically (generally like more of the chinky look) that I have gone for in the past, but I gave her a shot. She was cute, not hot though, 5'0, more Mexican looking than Asian, nice monotone tan skin and dark thick hair.
We talked for 2-3 months before my trip but nothing serious as I was chatting with several different girls. I ended up visiting her hometown on the trip and she took me around with her friends and we hit it off. I stayed in her hometown for around a week and then went back to Manila to meet a few other girls and see some friends. It wasn't until I got back to the states that we started getting more romantic unfortunately. Started skyping a lot, messaging everyday, sweet gestures on her bday or Christmas, etc and started referring to each other as gf/bf though not sure if I took that too serious. Online relationships still don't feel the same as a real relationship.
I was supposed to come visit her in 2015 but job issues had me postpone, and postpone it until I could finally get enough time off in Jan 2016. We took a ten day trip together around Manila, Banaue, Sagada, Batangas, and then went back to her hometown. She worked a very time consuming job with a lot of stress and had a lot of problems with her dad being sick. She is the main breadwinner as her mom passed away and her dad is a simple farmer. She came from a poor family but worked her ass off to where she is now. I mean she averages 2000-3000 USD a month income and had made much more before because she works off of commission. Comparing to the standard nurse's salary in the country is like 300-400 a month she was doing quite well. But in the end I couldn't deal with her time issues, and lack of affection, and she didn't think it would last another 1-2 years for when I come back so we ended it. I went off to other cities and started meeting more girls. Beauty of the Philippines right?
Apologies for the long answer to a simple question but just thought I'd share
Here's the thing about poor girls, most are not very educated, and thus their English is usually not the greatest not to mention they often times won't understand your personality or choice of words. I prefer women that I can talk with, that have a sense of humor and can understand my sarcastic humor. Sarcasm is a very Western trait and can often times come off as rude or offputting when speaking with girls who are not used to it.
I don't mind taking a girl out on a date and paying, especially in the Philippines. I took my girl out and some friends and bought 12 red horse bottles of beer for $13. A normal date in the USA will run me $40 at a minimum and $100+ if I like the girl. But it is nice when I ask a girl to come meet me somewhere or come out and she pays for her cab and offers to pay for her dinner. Middle income girls usually do this.
And don't be mistaken, girls off all income levels dream of traveling and living in far away lands. For many that's the only way they will see America or Europe.
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