Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


I didn't have luck in China, where should I try next?

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby Rock » Sun May 20, 2012 7:13 pm

xiongmao wrote:I'm sceptical of stories about any foreign English teacher who can't score in China. One of the Chinese girls I met confessed to me that she was in love with her English teacher. I'm sure half the class were - it's very common. OK so she wasn't a model, but she was good enough.

I don't really know who to believe online. I once belonged to a board where one of the members faked his own death :eek: .


I think China is the kind of place where it's easy to miss opportunities if you are not switched-on, aware, and proactive when needed. If a guy is totally passive and misses the signs, he could spend years there and get nowhwere with the girls.

And some types of guys vibe better with the locals than others. And its not just about looks either.
Rock
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4121
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:16 pm

Postby Rock » Sun May 20, 2012 7:32 pm

Winston wrote:
You gotta remember that maybe 70 or 80 percent of white guys lie and BS when it comes to money and women. Even good honest guys will BS sometimes. I don't know why. They just do that. That's my experience.

Therefore, you can't believe what any guy says at face value, even if he seems nice, sincere and educated. White guys are notorious for BSing for some reason, while Asian guys usually don't like to brag.


That's a good point and probaly accurate. But since you are known to be totally honest and open (even if your perception is off sometimes), you could play a verifying role.

I think some people would be happy to provide you with vids, photos, or even demonstrate their claims in person provided you kept all the specific details and data private. For example, if a guy claimed to be dating some attractive girls, he could email u video links of himself with these girls discussing their relationships, etc. Then you could share with the forum whether you thought the guy was exaggerating, BSing, or accurate in his claims.

The key is you have to firmly commit to protect the confidentiality of the info which is shared with you. People have to be be able to trust you on this before they share.
Rock
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4121
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:16 pm

Postby ph_visitor » Sun May 20, 2012 7:40 pm

xiongmao wrote:I'm skeptical of stories about any foreign English teacher who can't score in China. One of the Chinese girls I met confessed to me that she was in love with her English teacher. I'm sure half the class were - it's very common. OK so she wasn't a model, but she was good enough.


Why would you be skeptical of someone telling you he did NOT do well with the girls?

He has nothing to gain by doing so.

Rock wrote:I think China is the kind of place where it's easy to miss opportunities if you are not switched-on, aware, and proactive when needed. If a guy is totally passive and misses the signs, he could spend years there and get no where with the girls.

And some types of guys vibe better with the locals than others. And its not just about looks either.


I am more aware of my surroundings than just about anyone you will ever meet.

The fact is that they turn me down. Over and over and over.

And some types of guys vibe better with the locals than others.


This is what I spent two pages of a thread trying to get you to admit, and now you come around.

You do not know why, the Chinese girls do not know why, the guys who do well do not know why.

It simply is, or is not.
ph_visitor
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 280
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 2:13 am

Postby ph_visitor » Sun May 20, 2012 7:44 pm

Taco wrote:[This teacher new about 1500 Chinese words which is more than enough to get by. He also spoke another language (other than English) which I think helped him learn Chinese faster than most people.


A vocabulary of 1500 words is never 'fluent'.
ph_visitor
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 280
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 2:13 am

Postby ph_visitor » Sun May 20, 2012 7:48 pm

xiongmao wrote:I'm sceptical of stories about any foreign English teacher who can't score in China. One of the Chinese girls I met confessed to me that she was in love with her English teacher. I'm sure half the class were - it's very common. OK so she wasn't a model, but she was good enough.


Never listen to what women say. Ever.

Half of my female students may very well admit the same, but if I were to try anything, nothing would happen. They would freeze up, get scared, flake, not show, demur, etc.

Chinese girls' heads are full of so much romantic, fictional, fantasy land, magical, naive bullshit it is stunning. Many of my students still think they can get pregnant by kissing a boy.
ph_visitor
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 280
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2012 2:13 am

Postby Magic » Mon May 21, 2012 5:54 am

Winston wrote:That sucks. How tall are you?


6 foot.

Winston wrote:Did you try to meet Chinese women from dating sites? I've gotten a lot of responses from Chinese Kisses and DateinAsia.


I tried DateinAsia and one other one I can't remember. They were full of flakes and scammers.

Winston wrote:You gotta remember that maybe 70 or 80 percent of white guys lie and BS when it comes to money and women. Even good honest guys will BS sometimes. I don't know why. They just do that. That's my experience.

Therefore, you can't believe what any guy says at face value, even if he seems nice, sincere and educated. White guys are notorious for BSing for some reason, while Asian guys usually don't like to brag.


I agree for the most part. I know lots of guys who claim to be successful with women, yet I never see them with one, I just assume most are lying. While I was living in China I shared an apartment with this one guy who was also from America, for a year. He always bragged about banging all these women, and swore they were not prostitutes, but I never saw him bring a woman home, ever. He also claimed to have a girlfriend for a few months, yet I never saw her.

I don't think it has to do with race though. Almost every guy from America lies about stuff like that, even the Asians. The Asians who are FOB are modest, but the americanized ones BS just like white americans. So it has more to do with culture than race.

Winston wrote:Why do you say most guys in the US approach women? That's not true at all. Only guys in big cities do that. In most of the US, esp suburbia, people keep to themselves and mind their own business and don't talk to strangers. Approaching women is something that is talked about online but you rarely see it in person in real life.


I see guys approaching girls in the US all the time. I've seen most of the single guys I know do it.

Winston wrote:Even in big cities, most guys who chat up women don't get anywhere, unless they are very good looking.


I agree this is mostly true. I cold approached hundreds of times in the US, and only one of those approaches got me anything, and that was just a really fat woman 14 years ago.
Magic
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri May 18, 2012 8:04 pm

Postby Repatriate » Mon May 21, 2012 7:12 am

Rock wrote:I think guys on the prowl go to Thailand and PI mainly for the vast P4P options. Dating regular girls and becoming intimate with them takes a lot of patience and hard work for most guys. With P4P on their doorstep, they can satisfy their urges whenever needed which helps them to behave less desperately when they are out with regular girls.

That’s not to say that decent P4P options don’t exist in China. But they are nothing like what you have in PI and Thai in terms western style user friendliness, value-for-money, and diversity.


Every foreign guy whether it be western or eastern has always said that they have engaged in p4p occasionally or frequently in Thailand. Some of them are reluctant to admit it but when you hear side stories of their activities then you know what the deal is. I think being able to mix p4p while taking your time hunting for a normal girl takes a lot of the frustration out of Thailand and the Philippines. Normal girls are not oblivious as to what happens but I think most privately concede that fact or are wiling to turn a blind eye so long as a person isn't blatant with it and observes face.
Repatriate
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2533
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 6:39 pm

Postby Winston » Mon May 21, 2012 7:33 am

xiongmao wrote:I'm sceptical of stories about any foreign English teacher who can't score in China. One of the Chinese girls I met confessed to me that she was in love with her English teacher. I'm sure half the class were - it's very common. OK so she wasn't a model, but she was good enough.

I don't really know who to believe online. I once belonged to a board where one of the members faked his own death :eek: .


Isn't that a moot point? An English teacher can't date his students. It's considered unethical and unprofessional, at least in most countries, including China. So what does it matter if your students are admiring you? You have better chances with another teacher at your school.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23604
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby Winston » Mon May 21, 2012 7:43 am

Repatriate wrote:
Winston wrote:T
You gotta remember that maybe 70 or 80 percent of white guys lie and BS when it comes to money and women. Even good honest guys will BS sometimes. I don't know why. They just do that. That's my experience.

Therefore, you can't believe what any guy says at face value, even if he seems nice, sincere and educated. White guys are notorious for BSing for some reason, while Asian guys usually don't like to brag.

There is some truth to this it's called the Dunning-Kruger effect. In the U.S. in particular a lot of people have developed delusional confidence and inflated belief in their own abilities. So even if guys aren't all that successful they make shit up or inflate every minor success into something great. In Asia it tends to be the opposite. People downplay the level of their abilities when they are capable of much more things.


Yeah no kidding. These white guys BS about the following:

- They spent shitloads of money, even for the smallest things.
- They make shitloads of money from their job or investments.
- They get casual sex from every girl they go out with, within three dates.
- Every girl they know wants to have casual sex with them.
- The majority of women have casual sex outside of relationships (they don't, only a minority do).
- Every other guy they know is doing the same as above.

However, if you use basic logic, the above can't be true for all or most guys because:

- If dating and casual sex were that easy, then prostitution would be out of business. All the bars in Thailand/Philippines would be out of business too.
- If dates were that easy to get, then dating sites would be unnecessary and would not be the cash cow that they are. Thousands of successful dating sites would have no business or traffic.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23604
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby Winston » Mon May 21, 2012 7:51 am

This Chinese woman told me that cold approaches are not normal in China at all:

Hi, Winston

Yes, Chinese are often loud, which is not polite in public place. Why did you say Cantonese is a strange language, I think it is very beautiful. Yes, I can speak it. Maybe you heard other dialect.

Ah, I have read the news about losing the kidneys before, but not often. I think in most of other countries, such kind of bad stories also exist. The most important is you have to be on guard and know how to protect yourself.

Yes, someone seldom makes any eye contact with a stranger here, except they are interested in you. In most occasion, people often just glance, it is not polite if you stare at others. If you flirt with someone, you are thought of a varmint. People don’t like that way.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23604
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby Rock » Mon May 21, 2012 8:07 am

Winston wrote:
xiongmao wrote:I'm sceptical of stories about any foreign English teacher who can't score in China. One of the Chinese girls I met confessed to me that she was in love with her English teacher. I'm sure half the class were - it's very common. OK so she wasn't a model, but she was good enough.

I don't really know who to believe online. I once belonged to a board where one of the members faked his own death :eek: .


Isn't that a moot point? An English teacher can't date his students. It's considered unethical and unprofessional, at least in most countries, including China. So what does it matter if your students are admiring you? You have better chances with another teacher at your school.


Dude, who cares if its considered unethical and unprofessional. U think most western English teachers in places like China or Thai think about that? If there is a connection between English teacher and adult student in one of those schools, more likely than not, something will happen between them. We're talking about China of 2012, not 1985!
Rock
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4121
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:16 pm

Postby Rock » Mon May 21, 2012 8:13 am

Winston wrote:This Chinese woman told me that cold approaches are not normal in China at all:

Hi, Winston

Yes, Chinese are often loud, which is not polite in public place. Why did you say Cantonese is a strange language, I think it is very beautiful. Yes, I can speak it. Maybe you heard other dialect.

Ah, I have read the news about losing the kidneys before, but not often. I think in most of other countries, such kind of bad stories also exist. The most important is you have to be on guard and know how to protect yourself.

Yes, someone seldom makes any eye contact with a stranger here, except they are interested in you. In most occasion, people often just glance, it is not polite if you stare at others. If you flirt with someone, you are thought of a varmint. People don’t like that way.


So don't stare. And certainly don't flirt lest you be thought of as a varmint, lol. But if you see someone you like, perhaps you can politely introduce yourself and try to make a new friend.

BTW, its almost impossible to hear what your own language sounds like to those who don't understand it. Instead of hearing the sounds, your brain is busy processing the meanings.
Rock
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4121
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:16 pm

Postby Winston » Mon May 21, 2012 8:25 am

Rock wrote:
Winston wrote:
xiongmao wrote:I'm sceptical of stories about any foreign English teacher who can't score in China. One of the Chinese girls I met confessed to me that she was in love with her English teacher. I'm sure half the class were - it's very common. OK so she wasn't a model, but she was good enough.

I don't really know who to believe online. I once belonged to a board where one of the members faked his own death :eek: .


Isn't that a moot point? An English teacher can't date his students. It's considered unethical and unprofessional, at least in most countries, including China. So what does it matter if your students are admiring you? You have better chances with another teacher at your school.


Dude, who cares if its considered unethical and unprofessional. U think most western English teachers in places like China or Thai think about that? If there is a connection between English teacher and adult student in one of those schools, more likely than not, something will happen between them. We're talking about China of 2012, not 1985!


You can do that. But then you'll get fired. Most teachers don't date their students. You try it and see what happens.

Every generation thinks it is more sexually liberated than in the past. That's a perception myth. People in 1985 also said, "Dude this is 1985, not 1960!"

In 1800, they also said, "Dude, this is 1800, not 1780!"

In Ancient Greece, Socrates also said that the young generation of his time was more rebellious and arrogant than youth in the older generation was. Go figure.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23604
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Postby Rock » Mon May 21, 2012 8:48 am

Winston wrote:
Rock wrote:
Winston wrote:
xiongmao wrote:I'm sceptical of stories about any foreign English teacher who can't score in China. One of the Chinese girls I met confessed to me that she was in love with her English teacher. I'm sure half the class were - it's very common. OK so she wasn't a model, but she was good enough.

I don't really know who to believe online. I once belonged to a board where one of the members faked his own death :eek: .


Isn't that a moot point? An English teacher can't date his students. It's considered unethical and unprofessional, at least in most countries, including China. So what does it matter if your students are admiring you? You have better chances with another teacher at your school.


Dude, who cares if its considered unethical and unprofessional. U think most western English teachers in places like China or Thai think about that? If there is a connection between English teacher and adult student in one of those schools, more likely than not, something will happen between them. We're talking about China of 2012, not 1985!


You can do that. But then you'll get fired. Most teachers don't date their students. You try it and see what happens.

Every generation thinks it is more sexually liberated than in the past. That's a perception myth. People in 1985 also said, "Dude this is 1985, not 1960!"

In 1800, they also said, "Dude, this is 1800, not 1780!"

In Ancient Greece, Socrates also said that the young generation of his time was more rebellious and arrogant than youth in the older generation was. Go figure.


1. Not if you don't get caught. Anyway, the attitude with some is that if they do get discovered, they can always find a new job elsewhere. I know teacher student relationships happen a lot in Taiwan. I've even known guys who met their gfs that way. What do you think fuels a lot of the teacher, student, and staff gossip in an adult buxiban?

2. It's not a perception myth in this case. China was extremely closed sexually from Mao Ze-Dong era all the way thru the late 90s. Don't you know that? In the 80s, it would have been nearly impossible for a westerner to even make private friendships with local ladies. Even thru most of 90s, you could not take a local girl to your guest house or hotel.

BTW, how do u think the wild hippie generation of late 60s / early 70s in America perceived the post AIDS 80s youth?
Rock
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 4121
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:16 pm

Postby gsjackson » Mon May 21, 2012 10:02 am

Winston wrote:
Every generation thinks it is more sexually liberated than in the past. That's a perception myth. People in 1985 also said, "Dude this is 1985, not 1960!"


Oh, I promise you Winston that -- let's take the pre-AIDS year of 1980 instead of 1985, but 1985 would work too -- was vastly, vastly more sexually liberated than 1960. I was there for both. In almost every conceivable manner of individual behavior, things were much looser in 1980 than 1960. The pill coming along circa 1960 had a lot to do with it, of course.

The difference between 1960 and the world we live in today you can't even comprehend, unless you go back and look at videos like Breakfast at Tiffany's.
gsjackson
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1469
Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2010 2:08 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA USA

PreviousNext

Return to Asia, China, Philippines, Thailand

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Falcon, Google [Bot] and 2 guests