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Filipina's attitude toward fidelity and saving face

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Winston
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Filipina's attitude toward fidelity and saving face

Post by Winston » December 30th, 2007, 9:29 am

From the forum at piatnight.com:

http://www.piatnight.com/forums/index.p ... opic=15339

"Faithfulness

I have been romantically involved with various Filipina, both in Australia and the Philippines for the past 12 years. Over this period, I believe that I have developed a general understanding of the Filipina’s concept of fidelity in a relationship. This has come from personal experiences and in-depth discussions with my Filipino and Filipina friends both at home and in the Philippines.

Almost every Filipina in a relationship, either married or as a boyfriend/girlfriend, would very much like their man to be faithful to her alone. That being said, most Filipinas begrudgingly accept that their man will not be totally faithful to her. For this reason they believe that their man will, on occasions, stray to another woman. With this acceptance, the Filipina will tolerate an extra-relationship affair under certain conditions.

The three main conditions for the Filipina are that –

Her man must not make it obvious to her that he is or has been unfaithful.

Her man must be most discreet about any affair that he has so that none of her family, friends or social contacts will know about his wanderings.

Her man must always return to her after each affair encounter.

These three main concerns centre on hiya (or “loss of face�). One of the biggest social upsets for a Filipina is to suffer hiya. This is particularly so to her friends and family. It is for this reason that a Filipina appears to be very possessive of her man. The Filipina does not want to suffer hiya. This may occur to the Filipina if any of the above conditions are not met.

Foreign men appear to experience more possessiveness from a Filipina than a Filipino would. The reason for this is that the Filipina has less faith in the foreigner understanding this hiya thing.

These are my thoughts on this matter."

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Post by Raja » July 30th, 2008, 5:00 am

then there is the other reason she accepts a cheater. Unless they are Muslim they can not divorce. At best she can seperate and then if she wishes another relationship it will be adutery. And adultery is still against the law, if he has enough juice to get someone to prosecute legal jeopardy applies.

While many still seperate and a few do get annulments for most once in they are stuck. I guess this is a reason more city girls are opting to live together no matter how it scandelizes the family.

The balance of power is greater for the man then in most of the free world.In most anywhere else the women gets out, the state makes sure the ex provides support and the churches even say that his cheating is the one reason for divorce

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Post by ladislav » August 13th, 2008, 10:24 pm

Foreign men appear to experience more possessiveness from a Filipina than a Filipino would. The reason for this is that the Filipina has less faith in the foreigner understanding this hiya thing
I beg to disagree a bit as I am not sure most Filipinas understand that a foreigner does not know about hiya. Most of them have never been abroad and do not see hiya as a Filipino thing, just a natural human thing. They think a poreigner is just like a Filipino only more gwapo ( handsome) and richer. Hence they know that he will be snatched up because they can figure out one thing- if they like a poreigner, so must many other Pinays and he will be swept up if he goes out the door unaccompanied.

While many rival Filipinas would be shy to talk to a middle aged Pinoy thinking him married ( which most are), they will talk to a middle aged poreigner more easily hoping he is a tourist looking for a wife because the country is full of those at any time during the year.
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Post by Winston » August 14th, 2008, 8:28 am

ladislav wrote:
Foreign men appear to experience more possessiveness from a Filipina than a Filipino would. The reason for this is that the Filipina has less faith in the foreigner understanding this hiya thing
I beg to disagree a bit as I am not sure most Filipinas understand that a foreigner does not know about hiya. Most of them have never been abroad and do not see hiya as a Filipino thing, just a natural human thing. They think a poreigner is just like a Filipino only more gwapo ( handsome) and richer. Hence they know that he will be snatched up because they can figure out one thing- if they like a poreigner, so must many other Pinays and he will be swept up if he goes out the door unaccompanied.

While many rival Filipinas would be shy to talk to a middle aged Pinoy thinking him married ( which most are), they will talk to a middle aged poreigner more easily hoping he is a tourist looking for a wife because the country is full of those at any time during the year.
W: That makes sense and is consistent with my experience. So you mean that it is common for a Filipina who loves a foreign man, to not let him go out unaccompanied? I thought Dianne was one of the few that did that, not letting me go out alone. Your girlfriends have done that to you too?

The other guys I know here have girlfriends that let them go out alone though, and they are not all bar girls either. So I thought I was the only one.
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Post by ladislav » August 14th, 2008, 6:19 pm

W: That makes sense and is consistent with my experience. So you mean that it is common for a Filipina who loves a foreign man, to not let him go out unaccompanied? I thought Dianne was one of the few that did that, not letting me go out alone. Your girlfriends have done that to you too?

The other guys I know here have girlfriends that let them go out alone though, and they are not all bar girls either. So I thought I was the only one
Nah, you are not the only one.

But some guys run into very relaxed Filipinas. I was not that lucky. While they do allow you to go out at night, they also monitor you with text messages and calls, sometimes up until 2 am. It is like having those electronic devices police use around the ankle of a prisoner with satellite monitoring.

It feels good at firts to be so needed and loved but after a year or so, one wakes up.
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