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To Shaun Bettinson: Why Taiwan Sucks - Boring, Repressed

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To Shaun Bettinson: Why Taiwan Sucks - Boring, Repressed

Postby Winston » Wed Sep 26, 2012 6:53 pm

I posted these taboo confrontational questions to Shaun Bettinson, founder of the "I love Taiwan" campaign in my blog about my no win situation in Taiwan:

http://janet-hsieh-sucks.blogspot.com/2 ... o-win.html

In response, he wrote this back to me:

So, what kind of polite response do you expect from me after calling me a weirdo and then ask me to answer your questions?

You don’t know anything about me and I find your approach to be impolite and disrespectful. The way to the supposed ‘truth’ does not lie in such an approach.

Perhaps you might like to read the popular book, “How to win friends and influence people.â€￾ Just a suggestion.

Maybe it’s why you are seeing all these problems here in Taiwan, because of your own attitude and approach.

Do your homework first.

Shaun


My response to him:

"Hi Shaun,

Of course I don't know you. All I know of you is what I read in articles. I'm sorry to offend you, but I find your movement to be bizarre and hokey without basis. No offense intended. Just being honest. But can you give me a real serious answer to my questions? You sound like a typical American with a victim-blaming mentality. I reflect people around me and am a very nice guy with a lot to offer. Read my bio on my site. Wanna see my references on CouchSurfing and in my Portfolio? I merely tell the truth, with no BS. At least I'm honest. Sorry if truth and honesty offends you.

I apologize if my directness and outspokenness is impolite to you, since it is not what you are used to in Taiwan. I am not like the typical humble/modest Taiwanese that you are used to. Perhaps you've forgotten that Taiwan is not the world, and that guys in the rest of the world are not soft, feminine and passive like in Taiwan.

I think you are probably a typical soft feminine white guy in Taiwan who is more Taiwanese than Western, evidenced by your aversion to directness and outspokenness, like most white guys in Taiwan are - whereas I am a Westerner in an Asian body. Due to their narrow mindset, Taiwanese people cannot fathom that an ABC like me can be more "American" than many of the white Americans in Taiwan, such as you, who act more Taiwanese than Western. Did you know that? You do know that white guys in America are different than white guys in Taiwan right? lol Or is that too deep and taboo for you to realize? lol

It's highly probable and logical to assume that you are one of those soft white guys with a Taiwanese type personality, which is why you fit in Taiwan so well. I started a thread about soft feminine white guys in Taiwan here: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=14760

I know that book you referenced. Actually, I have tons of friends from all over the world. But that doesn't relate to my no win scenario in Taiwan. Please read the situation in my forum. It appears you didn't. I apologize if I offended you and request that you give a serious response.

I will post a copy of my questions to you in my Wordpress blog as well, so that more people can see it, since Blogger and Wordpress both rank very high in search engines.

Thanks for responding and again, I apologize if I've offended you. Sorry that truth and honesty offends you, and sorry that I don't fit into your plastic "Everything is so wonderful" Janet Hsieh type world in Taiwan. lol

Regards,
Winston

PS - Is my pros and cons observations list too deep for your mainstream mind to respond to? lol
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=14561 "
Last edited by Winston on Fri Nov 09, 2012 6:58 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Teal Lantern » Fri Sep 28, 2012 1:54 am

That's a more polite response than you'd have gotten from most people.
Geez, I'd have talked to him all day without calling him names like that. :shock:
Why didn't you tell him to go home and get his shine box, while you were at it? :lol: :lol:
не поглеждай назад. 8)

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Postby momopi » Fri Oct 12, 2012 3:46 am

This guy wanted to collect 201,210 photos to make a giant collage on the side of Taipei 101 building. Too bad he called it off due to the cost (NT 10 million). I'd have chipped in $20. LoL.

Image
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Re: Shaun Bettinson - Why Taiwan Sucks, his response

Postby Jester » Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:38 am

Winston wrote:In response to my taboo confrontational questions to him in my blog about my no win situation in Taiwan:

http://janet-hsieh-sucks.blogspot.tw/20 ... o-win.html

Shaun Bettinson, founder of the "I love Taiwan" campaign, wrote this back to me:

So, what kind of polite response do you expect from me after calling me a weirdo and then ask me to answer your questions?

You don’t know anything about me and I find your approach to be impolite and disrespectful. The way to the supposed ‘truth’ does not lie in such an approach.

Perhaps you might like to read the popular book, “How to win friends and influence people.â€￾ Just a suggestion.

Maybe it’s why you are seeing all these problems here in Taiwan, because of your own attitude and approach.

Do your homework first.

Shaun


My response to him:

"Hi Shaun,

Of course I don't know you. All I know of you is what I read in articles. I'm sorry to offend you, but I find your movement to be bizarre and hokey without basis. No offense intended. Just being honest. But can you give me a real serious answer to my questions? You sound like a typical American with a victim-blaming mentality. I reflect people around me and am a very nice guy with a lot to offer. Read my bio on my site. Wanna see my references on CouchSurfing and in my Portfolio? I merely tell the truth, with no BS. At least I'm honest. Sorry if truth and honesty offends you.

I apologize if my directness and outspokenness is impolite to you, since it is not what you are used to in Taiwan. I am not like the typical humble/modest Taiwanese that you are used to. Perhaps you've forgotten that Taiwan is not the world, and that guys in the rest of the world are not soft, feminine and passive like in Taiwan.

I think you are probably a typical soft feminine white guy in Taiwan who is more Taiwanese than Western, evidenced by your aversion to directness and outspokenness, like most white guys in Taiwan are - whereas I am a Westerner in an Asian body. Due to their narrow mindset, Taiwanese people cannot fathom that an ABC like me can be more "American" than many of the white Americans in Taiwan, such as you, who act more Taiwanese than Western. Did you know that? You do know that white guys in America are different than white guys in Taiwan right? lol Or is that too deep and taboo for you to realize? lol


I stopped reading your response after the 3rd paragraph. As a member of HA your unnecessary polemics with a non-member embarrass me.
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Re: Stop contradicting yourself Winston

Postby ethan_sg » Sat Oct 13, 2012 2:34 pm

Winston the only thing I don't get is you identifying yourself as an American in an Asian body, and that being the reason why you don't fit in Taiwan. Haven't you written a chunk of articles on why you don't fit in America and that the selfish toxic work-obsessed cold personalities in America are completely contrary to sane values and your values? And now you're identifying yourself as one of them?

Identifying yourself as an American in an Asian body is the last thing that the pioneer of Happier Abroad away from America should be doing.

Don't mean to give you a hard time but you gotta be consistent so people can respect what you're saying Winston.
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Re: Stop contradicting yourself Winston

Postby Winston » Sat Oct 13, 2012 5:15 pm

ethan_sg wrote:Winston the only thing I don't get is you identifying yourself as an American in an Asian body, and that being the reason why you don't fit in Taiwan. Haven't you written a chunk of articles on why you don't fit in America and that the selfish toxic work-obsessed cold personalities in America are completely contrary to sane values and your values? And now you're identifying yourself as one of them?

Identifying yourself as an American in an Asian body is the last thing that the pioneer of Happier Abroad away from America should be doing.

Don't mean to give you a hard time but you gotta be consistent so people can respect what you're saying Winston.


Well even if I deny it, parts of my personality and values and mentality are American. I don't fit in the dating scene or social scene in America, sure, but that doesn't mean there isn't any American in me. The issue is not that black or white. Parts of me are American and parts of me are not.

Even if I am American inside, still, how can I tolerate not being wanted by women everyday? That's terrible, but that's what America is like for most guys like me. Even if I fit into American culture, that problem is still there. Regardless of what culture you are down inside, never getting sexual, romantic or intimate satisfaction from girls you like is a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE thing.
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Re: Shaun Bettinson - Why Taiwan Sucks, his response

Postby Winston » Sat Oct 13, 2012 5:22 pm

Jester wrote:I stopped reading your response after the 3rd paragraph. As a member of HA your unnecessary polemics with a non-member embarrass me.


Sorry about that. But I didn't post this for discussion. I posted it just to get his name in the search engines next to words that are the opposite of what he stands for. LOL

Now anyone who Googles his name will see "Taiwan Sucks" next to it. hahaha

He does seem like a nice guy though.

Btw, I just saw Shaun on the news and sent him this email:

"Hi Shaun,
I saw you on the TV news yesterday. Your mandarin is pretty good. How did you get on the news? The Taiwan media refuses to do a story about me, even though I'd make a good one, since I'm a unique and fairly successful internet entrepreneur who is Taiwanese American. Only in Europe was a story done about me. I guess I'm nothing in Taiwan, but only seen as interesting in Europe?

Are you still in Taipei? If so, my friend Rock would like to meet you. He is a white guy with a "Taiwanese soul" like you. Can I pass your contact info on to him?

Have you noticed something: How come only Asian Americans in Taiwan complain that "I can't be myself in Taiwan" whereas white guys don't usually say that? They may say that Taiwan feels repressed, but they don't usually say "I can't be myself here".

Taiwan to me is like Seattle, WA. It feels very sterile. You put out all this energy and time and effort and get NOTHING in return, similar to how it is in Washington state. It all feels so stale. You can't flirt or show that you have desires. You have to act innocent and politically correct too. How do you tolerate that? Also, girls seem awfully picky here with overly high standards and a flaky attitude. They have no qualms about treating guys like shit and talking shit about them behind their back, similar to in America.

But of course, you are not allowed to be honest about all this. Instead, you are only supposed to rant about how wonderful Taiwan is. I get the feeling sometimes that Taiwan is like a cult or religion, in that everyone publicly says nice positive, but fake, things about how great it is, without a valid basis that I can see. Usually only cults and fanatics do that. I've seen that kind of "fanaticism without basis" in cult groups, religions, MLM pyramid scheme meetings, Amway meetings, etc. Why does it seem to apply to Taiwan too? Very strange.

How come flirting is taboo here? Why aren't Taiwanese girls as open and relaxed toward strangers as girls in Europe, Russia and Latin America are? I also don't understand how if flirting is taboo in Taiwan, then how come people are telling me that everyone can get girlfriends in Taiwan except me? Isn't that a contradiction? That would be like me saying, "Making money online is not easy. But everyone can do it except you." Wouldn't you be thinking "WTF?"

Btw, have you tried Googling your name to see what comes up on the first page of search results? hahaha. :)

Take care,
Winston"
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Postby Winston » Fri Nov 09, 2012 7:03 pm

In the blog at the same link above, I posted a new letter to Shaun Bettinson and sent it to his email as well:


"Dear Shaun Bettinson,

Question for you: Why should I raise up my hands and say "I love Taiwan" given the following:

What's the point of living in Taiwan if you don't get any attention from cute girls? I get attention from girls in most other foreign countries - e.g. Russia, Ukraine, Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, Poland, Mexico, Philippines (see here for hard proof: http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Collage.htm) - but not in Taiwan. So how can Taiwan be so wonderful like you and everyone says?

Girls treat me like shit here, which undermines my ego and self-esteem. They are super cliquish and uptight about not talking to strangers (especially males) unless introduced by a mutual friend. Why should I love or enjoy that, just because it's taboo to say anything negative about Taiwan's social scene?

The biggest reason why Taiwan sucks is that to meet girls or try to get dates, I have to try to walk UPSTREAM against a raging river. If I go downstream and "go with the flow" I get nothing - no love, romance or sex. Everything in Taiwan goes against my love/sexual satisfaction. In Taiwan, I'm in a constant state of DEPRIVATION. It feels like everything is against me. I'm not allowed to flirt, talk to female strangers I like, approach girls without feeling like a creep/criminal, and they don't give me attention and won't offer to meet me if I chat with them on the internet, etc. That just plain SUCKS for sure.

So why should I raise my hands and say "I love Taiwan" in spite of that, just because Shaun Bettinson says so? Get real. How can Taiwan be so wonderful, if I can't even get girls I like to meet up with me, and none of the experts I know in Taiwan can help me? On dating sites and on Facebook, about 1 in 100 Taiwan girls I like respond to me, and among those that do, none of them ever want to meet up! WTF?! All they do is make excuses excuses excuses about being busy all the time... blah blah blah. So how can Taiwan be so wonderful?! WTF?

In contrast, in other foreign countries (besides USA, Canada and Taiwan), girls are happy to meet me and they will OFFER to when I am in their area. So why not Taiwan? What is the problem with Taiwan? Why are Taiwan girls so damn difficult and uptight about meeting up? It's crazy! And it totally sucks!

Having hot girls everywhere who ignore you and expect you to mind your own business while they mind theirs is a depressing society. What kind of guy likes that? What kind of life is it to be constantly deprived and unsatisfied in the areas of love, sex and romance? That SUCKS.

It's no different than living in the US. So what's the point of living in Taiwan? There's no advantage other than lower cost of living. Socially, it's no different to me than the US. At least in America, the air is fresher, cleaner and more healthy, drivers are more polite, and there is always a place to park your car.

Thus I have every right to say that Taiwan sucks, even though it contracts the popular cliche on every Taiwan website/blog that says "Taiwan is so wonderful and friendly!" Why should I conform to that? Is conforming more important than telling the truth? Should I conform or be honest?

Also, everything feels so repressed, stiff and miserable in Taiwan. It's like there is a wall or barrier around everything that blocks me from being who I am and doing what I want to do. That sucks. I can't be myself in Taiwan and I'm not allowed to tell the truth either. What could be more invalidating than that?

In fact, Taiwan is actually one of the less interesting countries in the world. Workaholic cultures tend to be less interesting, because they lack passion and soul. The environment is very sterile. There's no romance, passion, love, special moments, special memories, camaraderie with others, or intellectualism. Instead, there's extreme repression and misery. Interactions are cold, fake and financially based. Women are very cold, difficult and picky. And young people are not interesting to talk to, but are eggheads and not very bright. All people care about is work and food. In addition, the architecture is ugly and consists of ugly slabs of concrete, and the natural scenery is bland and nothing spectacular. How is that any better than America?

There also seems to be this dark negative energy vortex in Taiwan. Everywhere I go the vibe feels so negative and miserable 24/7. Why is that? I don't think it's all in my imagination since Taiwan does have a high suicide rate, and people do look extremely repressed and miserable on their faces, which is consistent with the vibe I feel. It's like there are hungry ghosts sucking the life out of you in Taiwan.

In any case, why should I rave about Taiwan being "so wonderful and friendly" just because everyone else does? Why should I put up my hands and say "I love Taiwan" just because Shaun Bettinson says so? Why can't I be honest, rather than appease you and your campaign?

Am I obligated to lie and conform? Or is it better to tell the truth?

Thanks for reading, if you got this far that is.

Sincerely,
Winston"
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Postby Ginger » Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:22 pm

:)
Last edited by Ginger on Sun Jul 14, 2013 8:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I do not promise to be gingerly :P
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Postby lavezzi » Sat Nov 10, 2012 5:50 pm

taiwan is not boring, you are bored. my veiw liberates, yours frustrates. the world doesnt serve you, you serve the world with the beleifs you have accumilated about it. if you understand this you can change it, if you dont you can only wallow in self pity out of your own ignorence.
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Postby Banano » Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:50 am

Taiwan sounds like Singapore, very sterile and plasticky.
Chinese are too uptight compared to Thai or PH
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Postby Winston » Mon Dec 24, 2012 10:36 am

I sent more of my complaints to Shaun Bettinson. This time he gave me a long reply and explanation. Here it is:


"Working on a brain fart to do with your questions.

So, what happens exactly when you approach a girl in Taiwan. Where are you when you approach? What do you say and most unbelievably important, which language do you use to say hello or excuse me? What is their actual reaction? I mean what do they say or do physically during your interaction? You talk about cold and repressed, but these are your feelings toward them, they are not actual statements of fact about what is ACTUALLY happening.

I don’t really recall this stuff that’s happening to you happen to me. Sure, there’s been rejection or signs of not interested, but nothing out of the ordinary that I haven’t experienced anywhere else in the world.

I’m not pinning blame on you for any of this or that your approach is wrong, it’s obviously worked in other places judging by all the photos you have on your website.

I think it is this………

You look Asian and from your photos you look like a local Taiwanese guy.

I discussed your problem with my girlfriend who is Taiwanese and she said, yeah, he looks local, chicks are not gonna dig that and that’s why he’s getting the cold shoulder. In other countries, you look different to the women there and the exotic look is what is attractive about you. However, now you are in Asia, you are just one of the locals, so you are not special anymore. Simple as that. You have literally returned home to the US dating market and you are now normal again, one of the crowd. She also asked that despite looking Asian, is your family from Taiwan and do you speak the local lingo? If you don’t, then people are going to see that as odd and wonder why you can’t. Living in Chiayi and not speaking Chinese is going to be tough. Even if you can speak the lingo then the previous point about looking local is going to cause you problems anyway. I have Taiwanese friends from the States who speak Chinese, but they have an accent and they routinely get asked, why is your Chinese so weird?

That’s the reason foreign guys are so popular abroad because they look different, special, are exotic compared with the locals. However, most Taiwanese think that the local girls here who date foreigners are usually not that great looking. Those girls that are amazing looking wouldn’t go much for a foreigner because they can get good looking local men with money who can look after them and give them security. The pressure to get married before you hit your late twenties is huge. A foreigner might just up and leave one day and then where would they be?

Taiwan is not the easiest of places to live in. As a foreign white guy I feel I am treated well by local people here and my experience has been really great. I am not stupid and naïve to realize that many are not having as good a time here. I have seen, met and worked with people not having a good time here for a multitude of reasons. They usually move on and those that don’t, stay and complain I don’t understand and stay clear of.

Does this answer your questions?

Shaun"
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