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Sexual Harassment In The Philippines

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Ginger
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Re: Sexual Harassment In The Philippines

Post by Ginger » November 4th, 2012, 4:40 pm

,.-'
Last edited by Ginger on July 3rd, 2013, 6:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I do not promise to be gingerly :P

OutWest
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Re: Sexual Harassment In The Philippines

Post by OutWest » November 4th, 2012, 4:42 pm

Ginger wrote:
Taco wrote:The Philippines is the only country I've lived in where I've been openly sexually harassed by women(mostly teens and early twenties). A few days ago I went down to the market to buy some fruit, "Hi, I'd like 1 Kilo of mangoes please" the girl( about 17 yrs old) working at the stand then handed my fruit to me and replied, "Is there anything else you want? and burst out laughing with her friend. This happens to me at least once a week but I catch women starring at me everyday and sometimes I don't even notice. That said, I'm guessing sexual harassment by women here is a very under reported crime.


Hey! Maybe you are over reacting, I'm a pinay and when I buy stuff and use english as the language of communication (IF I'm in the provinces where people don't speak tagalog), I get the SAME reaction. It's a cultural thingy, in here we say, 'nosebleed' IF anyone speaks english in a non-formal convo, it's an inside joke. It doesn't mean she is flirting with you, unless you got a dirty mind or over-creative mind to put a helluva meaning when she said "Is there anything ELSE you want?". I even do the giggling thingy with my friends and colleagues if sometimes in convo I tend to lapse into straight english (I tend to be able to express myself better in english is why). So no biggie.

I see this pattern all the time, like one time I was at the coffee shop with my lappy posting away on another forum, in between typing and reading, I tend to twirl my hair when thinking, like doing the flippy hair thingy (unconsciously), and a foreign guy must have thought that movements are an invitation for him to infringe on the solemnity of my forum-posting-time. He thought he saw the green light, when in fact he was just deluding himself and/or misreading signals. This particular incident has happened THRICE with different foreign guys.

Another time I was at the park near the coffee shop reading and people-watching, and sometimes when people-watching I tend to smile to myself (especially when ruminating on something), and whoa! A foreign guy comes to my bench and again thinks I'm throwing signals and asks for my contact details...and I'm like, "dude, this is my people-watching time, you are not welcome to intrude on it".

Don't let me get started on the supermarket...

Why do some foreigners tend to think that pinays are soooooo into them that some are even sexually harassing them? In all the cases I mentioned, it's the guys who are harassing me, but clearly they might be thinking it's me who is throwing the harassment signals. GRRRRRR (sorry, pet peeve, ranting mode :P)


Ginger-

I think the term being used here is not correct. Unwelcome attention or flirtation is not harrassement unless it persists. Why all the thin skins? It sounds like American feminists. You are obviously not ga-ga over foreigners, but some Filipinas are, whatever the motivations. Most foreign men I run into here are annoying, even idiotic, yet many Filipinas persist in wanting to meet them. We humans are funny creatures, no? I observe that Filipinas do flirt a lot..just sounds healthy to me. I am married to the best girl I can imagine, and at that point it is all just entertainment. There is a big difference between Metro-Manila and the provinces though...


outwest
Mindanao

Rock
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Post by Rock » November 4th, 2012, 4:58 pm

Well I'm a realist and by now, I've been to quite a few places in the PI. I don't notice girls looking at me very often. I really do think a lot of western guys are delusional when it comes to the opposite sex. If u have a model look like Will N. Dowd, well then maybe it happens. But that would not apply just to PI but many parts of the world.

Taco, don't read too much into the smiles and easygoing nature u observe around u wherever u happen to b in Phils. But do read Larry Elterman's book if u haven't already and consider the experiences of the guys here who have actually lived in PI for extended periods. The foreigner is often attractive cus to them (esp. in provinces) he's downright rich.

But I also agree that there is a strong argument to be made for some women desiring to inject some white blood into their offspring. IMO, most attractive people I see in Phils have a significant amount of white, Chinese, Japanese, or other foreign blood. The pure Malay look too often leads to many to all of the following - flat and short nose, short stature, recessed chin, skin moles and premature damage, and dark complexion. Just turn on the TV and u tend to see the mixed types on anything related to glamor or being attractive. But out and about, these types are rare. So white or NE Asian blood is kinda precious if u look at it that way.

Just understand, they are most likely not lusting at you u. They are just having some fun and even if they are flirting, its just second nature to some of them, just like in Colombia and certain other warm blooded countries.

Anyway, if I remember right, u r happy being faithful to/yr local fiance/wife so what other women think isn't really important in yr. case. So more power to u.

publicduende
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Re: Sexual Harassment In The Philippines

Post by publicduende » November 4th, 2012, 5:09 pm

Taco wrote:The Philippines is the only country I've lived in where I've been openly sexually harassed by women(mostly teens and early twenties). A few days ago I went down to the market to buy some fruit, "Hi, I'd like 1 Kilo of mangoes please" the girl( about 17 yrs old) working at the stand then handed my fruit to me and replied, "Is there anything else you want? and burst out laughing with her friend. This happens to me at least once a week but I catch women starring at me everyday and sometimes I don't even notice. That said, I'm guessing sexual harassment by women here is a very under reported crime.


Hmm I know where you're coming from, but I don't really see the above as an episode of sexual harassment. More like open teasing. Until a couple of decades ago scenes like these were quite common in Southern Italy as well, especially with the less-educated girls working in market stalls and small shops. I think sometimes those girls like the idea of starting a sensual innuendo, perhaps not completely aware of the consequences. As Winston said in another post, it looks like they like acting on instinct.

ladislav
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Post by ladislav » November 4th, 2012, 5:11 pm

Why do some foreigners tend to think that pinays are soooooo into them that some are even sexually harassing them? In all the cases I mentioned, it's the guys who are harassing me, but clearly they might be thinking it's me who is throwing the harassment signals. GRRRRRR

Some foreigners think that way because they do get flirted with by many young ladies in the Philippines. Sometimes, though, they run into ladies who do not flirt but they think they are flirting. Like in your case. No sweat, they got the message and now will move on to a friendlier person.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!

OutWest
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Post by OutWest » November 4th, 2012, 6:11 pm

Rock wrote:Well I'm a realist and by now, I've been to quite a few places in the PI. I don't notice girls looking at me very often. I really do think a lot of western guys are delusional when it comes to the opposite sex. If u have a model look like Will N. Dowd, well then maybe it happens. But that would not apply just to PI but many parts of the world.

Taco, don't read too much into the smiles and easygoing nature u observe around u wherever u happen to b in Phils. But do read Larry Elterman's book if u haven't already and consider the experiences of the guys here who have actually lived in PI for extended periods. The foreigner is often attractive cus to them (esp. in provinces) he's downright rich.

But I also agree that there is a strong argument to be made for some women desiring to inject some white blood into their offspring. IMO, most attractive people I see in Phils have a significant amount of white, Chinese, Japanese, or other foreign blood. The pure Malay look too often leads to many to all of the following - flat and short nose, short stature, recessed chin, skin moles and premature damage, and dark complexion. Just turn on the TV and u tend to see the mixed types on anything related to glamor or being attractive. But out and about, these types are rare. So white or NE Asian blood is kinda precious if u look at it that way.

Just understand, they are most likely not lusting at you u. They are just having some fun and even if they are flirting, its just second nature to some of them, just like in Colombia and certain other warm blooded countries.

Anyway, if I remember right, u r happy being faithful to/yr local fiance/wife so what other women think isn't really important in yr. case. So more power to u.



Yes, I am blessed with a great wife here...

One thing that plays an important role- Few Fiipinas want to be some foreigner's vacation GF. (What most men here seem to seek, free whores abroad.) and that makes a huge difference in their reaction to the foreign male. When they first see you they can safely bet that you are one of those men just passing through..a sex tourist or just on vacation. What would a family oriented Filipina see in that?

REALLY, MOST FILIPINAS ARE NOT ALL JUICED UP ABOUT BEING A FREE WHORE, EVEN THOUGH MANY WOULD LIKE TO IMAGINE THAT IT IS SO.

When you are living in a place and are obviously not just passing through, the reaction to you begins to change considerably.

>>> Most Filipinas are seeking a permanent relationship, so those seen as just passing through are of little interest. <<<
When it is obvious that you are there for the long term, the reaction to you will change.

Why would a Filipina risk ruining her reputation for the sake of a fling with a foreigner? She is probably looking for commitment.
That said, some have the flings anyway...kinda puts the kibosh on her "marketability' after that...a fool born every minute.


Outwest

davewe
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Post by davewe » November 4th, 2012, 11:00 pm

I've had plenty of time to think about this issue. I have tried to explain to my American friends how dating abroad (particularly in PI) is different. I have spent an equal amount of time explaining to Pinoys/ays how dating in the West is different. Neither group gets it.

The best analogy I can think of is the belief hundreds of years ago that the world is flat. Despite mathematicians and Magellan, the average guy continued to think it was flat for hundreds of years. Why? CAuse they'd look outside, scan the horizon and it was obviously flat.

For us we grow up in a dating environment in which the world is flat. Even though we know there is something wrong with this theory, we cannot accept another reality. So guys go to places like PI, have great experiences, and those experiences are doubted. Many want to cling to the old theories.

Consider another scenario. You are in your home country and go to a bar/club/book store, etc. and meet a girl. She likes you and ends up having sex with you. You feel like da man and assume she did it because you are so damn good looking. You don't question whether that was the reason or not; but was it?

She may have slept with you because you are good looking or because: it was her time of the month and she would have slept with almost anyone; she saw you as a potential husband; you reminded her of her last bf; you were exactly the opposite of her last bf; you treated her well, unlike other men; you treated her like shit, unlike other men; etc., etc. The point is you scored and you didn't question it.

But now you go abroad, score like mad and feel like you must question it. After all the world is flat and your experience makes no sense. Or you go abroad, don't have a great experience and think 'see, those guys are full of shit. I didn't get laid by hot girls. They must by lying or extremely good looking.'

By definition everyone on HA knows there is something wrong in the West and dating abroad is a possible solution. But many of you still cling to the paradigm of the world being flat. So some go to PI, bring their standard Western attitudes there and they are disappointed. They want to find standard Western clubbing and casual sex, they want to find gobs of rich and middle class girls, they don't want to "court" the girl, they don't even want to pay for dinner.I am sure those guys can find a few girls to meet their needs, but most Pinays have self-respect and will pass them by.

davewe
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Re: Sexual Harassment In The Philippines

Post by davewe » November 4th, 2012, 11:11 pm

OutWest wrote:There is a big difference between Metro-Manila and the provinces though...


The old cliche is "familiarity breeds contempt." In Manila or Cebu an attractive Pinay has probably had contact with plenty of foreigners. Maybe she's even had a foreign bf. They may still be interesting to her and perhaps not. But in a smaller city and the provinces where girls have little or no contact with foreigners, you will be stared at, flirted with, and shy girls will turn away but still look. Does that mean they all want to have sex with you? Of course not. But they will be interested (for whatever set of reasons) and if you are respectful and at least open to a relationship - you will never be alone.

Taco
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Re: Sexual Harassment In The Philippines

Post by Taco » November 4th, 2012, 11:22 pm

publicduende wrote:
Taco wrote:The Philippines is the only country I've lived in where I've been openly sexually harassed by women(mostly teens and early twenties). A few days ago I went down to the market to buy some fruit, "Hi, I'd like 1 Kilo of mangoes please" the girl( about 17 yrs old) working at the stand then handed my fruit to me and replied, "Is there anything else you want? and burst out laughing with her friend. This happens to me at least once a week but I catch women starring at me everyday and sometimes I don't even notice. That said, I'm guessing sexual harassment by women here is a very under reported crime.


Hmm I know where you're coming from, but I don't really see the above as an episode of sexual harassment. More like open teasing. Until a couple of decades ago scenes like these were quite common in Southern Italy as well, especially with the less-educated girls working in market stalls and small shops. I think sometimes those girls like the idea of starting a sensual innuendo, perhaps not completely aware of the consequences. As Winston said in another post, it looks like they like acting on instinct.


Its sexual harassment by Hillary Clinton's definition. When she was New York governor she proposed a law that would fine men caught starring at women in public but it was never passed.

publicduende
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Re: Sexual Harassment In The Philippines

Post by publicduende » November 5th, 2012, 12:48 am

Taco wrote:
publicduende wrote:
Taco wrote:The Philippines is the only country I've lived in where I've been openly sexually harassed by women(mostly teens and early twenties). A few days ago I went down to the market to buy some fruit, "Hi, I'd like 1 Kilo of mangoes please" the girl( about 17 yrs old) working at the stand then handed my fruit to me and replied, "Is there anything else you want? and burst out laughing with her friend. This happens to me at least once a week but I catch women starring at me everyday and sometimes I don't even notice. That said, I'm guessing sexual harassment by women here is a very under reported crime.


Hmm I know where you're coming from, but I don't really see the above as an episode of sexual harassment. More like open teasing. Until a couple of decades ago scenes like these were quite common in Southern Italy as well, especially with the less-educated girls working in market stalls and small shops. I think sometimes those girls like the idea of starting a sensual innuendo, perhaps not completely aware of the consequences. As Winston said in another post, it looks like they like acting on instinct.


Its sexual harassment by Hillary Clinton's definition. When she was New York governor she proposed a law that would fine men caught starring at women in public but it was never passed.


Was that on the side of the bill whereby a fellatio in the Oval Room is not really a sexual act? :)

OutWest
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Post by OutWest » November 5th, 2012, 7:26 am

davewe wrote:I've had plenty of time to think about this issue. I have tried to explain to my American friends how dating abroad (particularly in PI) is different. I have spent an equal amount of time explaining to Pinoys/ays how dating in the West is different. Neither group gets it.

The best analogy I can think of is the belief hundreds of years ago that the world is flat. Despite mathematicians and Magellan, the average guy continued to think it was flat for hundreds of years. Why? CAuse they'd look outside, scan the horizon and it was obviously flat.

For us we grow up in a dating environment in which the world is flat. Even though we know there is something wrong with this theory, we cannot accept another reality. So guys go to places like PI, have great experiences, and those experiences are doubted. Many want to cling to the old theories.

Consider another scenario. You are in your home country and go to a bar/club/book store, etc. and meet a girl. She likes you and ends up having sex with you. You feel like da man and assume she did it because you are so damn good looking. You don't question whether that was the reason or not; but was it?

She may have slept with you because you are good looking or because: it was her time of the month and she would have slept with almost anyone; she saw you as a potential husband; you reminded her of her last bf; you were exactly the opposite of her last bf; you treated her well, unlike other men; you treated her like shit, unlike other men; etc., etc. The point is you scored and you didn't question it.

But now you go abroad, score like mad and feel like you must question it. After all the world is flat and your experience makes no sense. Or you go abroad, don't have a great experience and think 'see, those guys are full of shit. I didn't get laid by hot girls. They must by lying or extremely good looking.'

By definition everyone on HA knows there is something wrong in the West and dating abroad is a possible solution. But many of you still cling to the paradigm of the world being flat. So some go to PI, bring their standard Western attitudes there and they are disappointed. They want to find standard Western clubbing and casual sex, they want to find gobs of rich and middle class girls, they don't want to "court" the girl, they don't even want to pay for dinner.I am sure those guys can find a few girls to meet their needs, but most Pinays have self-respect and will pass them by.


Dave-

There you go again, complicating things with facts and wisdom...


Outwest

Ginger
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Post by Ginger » November 7th, 2012, 7:00 am

:)
Last edited by Ginger on July 3rd, 2013, 7:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I do not promise to be gingerly :P

Ginger
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Post by Ginger » November 7th, 2012, 7:06 am

:)
Last edited by Ginger on July 3rd, 2013, 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I do not promise to be gingerly :P

Ginger
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Post by Ginger » November 7th, 2012, 7:08 am

:)
Last edited by Ginger on July 3rd, 2013, 7:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I do not promise to be gingerly :P

Ginger
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Re: Sexual Harassment In The Philippines

Post by Ginger » November 7th, 2012, 7:17 am

:)
Last edited by Ginger on July 3rd, 2013, 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I do not promise to be gingerly :P

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