Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
So I'm thinking of getting a vasectomy, since I've never really wanted kids. Will filipina women then consider me "damaged goods" because I can't give them a family? Will it make it harder to have a steady girlfriend, since they won't consider me "marriage material"?
I agree with Ladislav. There are plenty of good looking single moms in their early 20s. In fact, a good number of them are some of the prettiest girls out there, as their pregnancies are easily the result of lots of guys hitting on them until they had to capitulate and get knocked up.
The problem is then: if you're not prepared to accept kids in your relationship, will you be ready to accept one, perhaps two kids who are not even your own? Another side effect of a single mom is that you might easily be finding a girl who is in with you mostly to give a stable family to their kids and, after a short while, will stop feeling all the heat and passion typical of a new couple. Not all roses...
By steady girlfriend I presume the plan is to live in the islands? If yes then no problem. If you are one those looking for the virgin catholic values girl to marry then no, warn her even if she doesn't believe you at least the priest is supposed to warn her.
I am in the same exact predicament. I don't know how old you are, I am 52, nearly 53 and for sure I don't want any kids at this point in my life. I never wanted one and never had any and certainly don't want someone else's. It's not just that I don't want kids, I don't want the responsibility
I am also about to have a vasectomy, because what keeps me awake at night is the thought of knocking up some girl inadvertently.
I love the Filipinas and seriously thinking of retiring in the Philippines.
So then the question remains whether once I have had the vasectomy and get into any kind of serious relationship, should I tell them or not.
I feel as long as I can support myself financially, there will always be a Filipina willing to keep me company whether they know or not.
I really like to know the opinions of other people on this. Not whether to have a vasectomy or not but how it will affect my ability and prospect of finding and keeping a nice Filipina or two.
You need to honor their faith and tell them, it is a big deal to devout Catholics and Muslims, I am not sure about INC. However at 52 or just looking for a girlfriend and not a wife like the OP is it should not make much of a difference.
it seems not!. It seems we are the only two people interested in this topic. Of course if we keep replying to each other we will keep the thread alive and eventually people will take notice. lol.
Anyways it is too late for me now, I have booked my time with the surgeon exactly a week from now and if for some very powerful reason I don't change my mind, I should be free from the nightmare thought of making some girl pregnant and being chained to a life of misery and responsibility close to 53 years of age. I am not exactly David Letterman with all his money and fame and tremendous help to have a kid at a similar age.
The thought of having a vasectomy is making me very depressed though as the decision has forced me to think so deeply about life and what it means to NEVER have children. But for me time has simply run out and I just have to face facts. It is a very logical and rational decision but emotionally VERY difficult.
I barely have energy to keep my own life in some kind of balance, never mind bringing a child or two up for the next twenty years. Terrifying!
You can always cancel the appointment.
Kids can be a hassle but Asian moms usually bring up nice kids.
I wouldn't like to end up like my childless Aunt and Uncle - they look about 10 years older than they really are. They really should have made a bundle of joy to give them something to live for.
Anyway, whatever your decision it's not hard to find Filipinas who do/don't want kids.
It will be the third appointment I cancel...I have chickened out of it a couple times already through fear of the actual surgery which they assure me is just a minor one and fear of regret, but I have promised myself to hold steady this time. After all the analysis, the final decision really comes down to age. I am simply too old to become a father now. I have no stable career, relationship or even a country and VERY unlikely to sort it all out in the near future.
I am more likely to worry nervously for a couple more years and then do it anyway.
Also, I have never been married, hardly ever in a relationship for more than two years, very restless and unstable personality and life style for as long as I can remember.
Thanks for the input though.
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