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A Filipina Story

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby abcdavid01 » Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:10 pm

Geez...I could probably make a killing. Nice stories guys.
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Re: A Filipina Story

Postby davewe » Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:18 pm

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Postby zboy1 » Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:22 pm

Does this 'status elevation' occur in countries outside of Third World countries? It's an interesting conversation.
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Postby davewe » Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:30 pm

zboy1 wrote:Does this 'status elevation' occur in countries outside of Third World countries? It's an interesting conversation.


Status is universally attractive but from place to place you gain status in different ways. A young musician in the West (even if not successful) may have status and gets lots of girls. Uniqueness creates status, success creates status, obviously money can create status.

But many times in the West money is not enough. I work for a large employer in my area; many thousands of people. We are professional and pretty well paid. But because of the lack of uniqueness, there is little status locally. "Oh, you're just another one of those guys who works at xxx." So difference (opposites attract) does help create status.

Add them all together: a different culture, a successful life, a bit of money, and you will appear to have far more status than you have locally.
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Postby xiongmao » Sun Mar 10, 2013 1:06 am

Status is everything in China. I need to learn more. But already I know that white guys can rent better apartments, and probably get better teaching jobs as well.

Asian men do have status in the rest of Asia - particularly Japanese men. Probably Koreans also. Education is valued highly in China, and the Japanese and Koreans in my University here are mostly in the higher achievement class groups.

Foreigners aren't automatically awarded a higher status though. I know of plenty of guys who have gone to Japan but haven't had much success (especially when it comes to the women).
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Re: A Filipina Story

Postby mct » Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:44 pm

davewe wrote:Here's a story about my friend's experience in the Philippines. It's a different perspective. I have my opinion about what it means, which I will share at the end, but ultimate it's just about one guy and one girl, so who knows if we can generalize.

In the meantime I had a bunch of chatmates I had met in a variety of ways, ages 20-30. But I had chosen the girl I was interested in. It was time to tell the chatmates I would not be pursuing them. In some cases I simply told the girl good luck and goodbye, in other cases I liked the girl enough that I told her the truth and asked if she wished to remain friends. One in particular was quite appealing and liked me a lot. A nurse, 28, and very hot looking. Despite my telling her that I was now "taken" I knew it might be a risk. But then I thought of my friend. She was perfect; educated, professional and from what I was told middle class. Her father was a "small businessman." In short she was not a poor, desperate Pinay.

Needless to say, they connected big time. Within a couples weeks he decided to visit PI and spend his vacation with her. Her parents were having a joint birthday party and the girl convinced my friend to attend. I had taught him enough about PI to know that meeting the parents was a big deal but she downplayed it and they went to the parents town and attended the party. Everything my friend described told me that her father is in no way a small businessman. He had many helpers at his home and was clearly very politically connected. I started joking with my friend that the dad "Is Vito Corleone and he wants you to take over the family business." When the father found out that my friend's birthday was in February he told him that if he returned in February they would throw him a birthday party. Since my friend and the nurse had fallen for each other, it wasn't hard to convince him to return.

The party was held a few weeks ago. According to my friend there were 400 guests including the local mayor, governor and major police officials. While my friend still does not know exactly what the dad does, enough details have come out to indicate that at a minimum he is the area's most successful and well known businessman and quite possibly my Vito Corleone reference might be true. I joke with my friend, "if you don't marry this girl your life isn't worth a nickel, American or not. I'm sure there are plenty of Filipino hitmen here!"

While the details are sketchy it is clear that the dad can buy and sell my friend and I many times over. The girl does not need an American's money, nor an American nursing job to have a better life and send money home to the family. She and I are still friends and it is clear to me that she is nuts about my friend.

So why is she interested in my friend other than the fact that love and attraction are still mysterious and there is no absolute formula? The girl has had many opportunities to hook up with Filipino doctors where she works but prefers my friend. She still sticks with the nonsense that she is a simple girl from a modest middle class family and that my friend and I are "rich Americans."

What I think is that for many women, status trumps even money. The girl has a good job and whatever extra cash she needs from her dad. She could get a Filipino man based on her looks and personality, let alone her dad's money and power., although at 28 in PI she is getting a bit old for marriage. Yet for her, like many others, the lure of a foreign white guy with a long nose is very strong. Now don't get me wrong; my friend is a great guy and I am sure the girl truly loves him. I just mean that in the context of all the talk of money and poor desperate 3rd world women only pursing middle aged kanos for the cash, it's an interesting story.

Status is a weird thing and for whatever debatable reasons we have it in PI.

Status is a very nebulous thing but it's a strong motivator.


Based on what you wrote, your friend's girlfriend's family seems to be some kind of a backer/funder of local politicians. Not a very distinguished background if you would base it on Philippine history and politics. Politics is generally a dirty business here, especially in the last few decades. The really big time ones have a national presence. Also, money that funds it do not always come from legitimate/honest sources. There are still a number of old rich families (at least circa 19th century) that are into it but majority of politicians now are not from such families. Of course, new money is not necessarily from bad sources and there are old money people who are greedy enough to want to profit from such. It's not always very impressive as it seems. And I'd be very skeptical about the presence of many policemen.

Your friend's girlfriend sounds rather independent and motivated in her own right. That is at least a good sign because political families now tend to treat government elective posts or being "kingmakers" (no matter how petty and insignificant a locality is) as a family "business" and not as a service to the nation. And from what I can tell, based on her insistence that they are a middle class family, they are that - or at least, are new money/power. And a "rich" and "powerful" family at a small town/city cannot be compared to, say, the country's (specifically what is termed as "Manila's 400") elite, those that made their fortunes centuries back and are still rich-rich and have intermarried amongst themselves through the centuries. Many politicians/backers or funders from the provinces do not own houses at the elite areas like Forbes Park, Dasmarinas Village, Urdaneta Village, and the like. What most of them can afford here in the capital are the middle class and upper middle class areas.

And Filipinas now tend to marry at a later age. There's still that "out of the calendar" age mentality (meaning a girl is past her prime at age 30-31, the biggest number in the calendar) but for most part that stigma is slowly diminishing......
Last edited by mct on Fri Mar 15, 2013 2:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby jboy » Fri Mar 15, 2013 2:23 pm

Thankee davewe for sharing!

I would like to share something, its true not all pinays are desperate or are into money and status. The girl I really like has been courted by a high status businessman from an old rich family and that did nothing in his favor. She was after compatibility, finding real love, friendship and companionship. I know this because I have seen and talked to the guy and he did told me she is one who simply won't be wowed by looks, status, or money and connections. The spanish-chinese-pinoy businessman looks and dresses like a male model, and that did nothing for him pursuing her for years. She's not rich or middleclass, more of lower middleclass and she would benefit a lot if she chose him. As a matter of fact I do not know if she would end up with me, my caucasian looks and financial stability would probably help me no more than the other dude. This is of course just one more pinay story which is far from the stereotype of the forum. Pinays comes in all shapes, sizes and apparently varrying levels of westernization up to the most traditional-marriage quality types.

Regarding mongers, oh man, they are doing real damage particularly for younger men. In the Phillies, being a youngish white looking guy is almost synonymous with monger, its easier to find women who will take you seriously if you are around 40-50 no kidding. Apparently my age (mid 30s) and looks (I work out, 6'1, caucasian looking, google Zach Braff---a forum member here says I look like him) is like having 'monger' tattooed on my forehead lol. End point, if you are a youngish guy you need to really prove your sincerity to be with the QUALITY women of the Phillies.
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Re: A Filipina Story

Postby davewe » Fri Mar 15, 2013 7:21 pm

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Last edited by davewe on Fri May 10, 2013 4:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby davewe » Fri Mar 15, 2013 7:28 pm

jboy wrote:Thankee davewe for sharing!

Regarding mongers, oh man, they are doing real damage particularly for younger men. In the Phillies, being a youngish white looking guy is almost synonymous with monger, its easier to find women who will take you seriously if you are around 40-50 no kidding. Apparently my age (mid 30s) and looks (I work out, 6'1, caucasian looking, google Zach Braff---a forum member here says I look like him) is like having 'monger' tattooed on my forehead lol. End point, if you are a youngish guy you need to really prove your sincerity to be with the QUALITY women of the Phillies.


I agree that you can get easy painted with the monger brush at any age - and for good reason. There are plenty of white mongers who visit the Philippines, whether 20-somethings or 50-somethings. But the good news is that if you act, dress and look respectful, and don't say 'I just spent the past 2 weeks in Angeles,' you have a big advantage over others.
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Re: A Filipina Story

Postby Rock » Sat Mar 16, 2013 6:45 am

davewe wrote:
mct wrote:
Based on what you wrote, your friend's girlfriend's family seems to be some kind of a backer/funder of local politicians. Not a very distinguished background if you would base it on Philippine history and politics. Politics is generally a dirty business here, especially in the last few decades. The really big time ones have a national presence. Also, money that funds it do not always come from legitimate/honest sources. There are still a number of old rich families (at least circa 19th century) that are into it but majority of politicians now are not from such families. Of course, new money is not necessarily from bad sources and there are old money people who are greedy enough to want to profit from such. It's not always very impressive as it seems. And I'd be very skeptical about the presence of many policemen.

Your friend's girlfriend sounds rather independent and motivated in her own right. That is at least a good sign because political families now tend to treat government elective posts or being "kingmakers" (no matter how petty and insignificant a locality is) as a family "business" and not as a service to the nation. And from what I can tell, based on her insistence that they are a middle class family, they are that - or at least, are new money/power. And a "rich" and "powerful" family at a small town/city cannot be compared to, say, the country's (specifically what is termed as "Manila's 400") elite, those that made their fortunes centuries back and are still rich-rich and have intermarried amongst themselves through the centuries. Many politicians/backers or funders from the provinces do not own houses at the elite areas like Forbes Park, Dasmarinas Village, Urdaneta Village, and the like. What most of them can afford here in the capital are the middle class and upper middle class areas.

And Filipinas now tend to marry at a later age. There's still that "out of the calendar" age mentality (meaning a girl is past her prime at age 30-31, the biggest number in the calendar) but for most part that stigma is slowly diminishing......


Yes there is no question the dad is a backer/funder of provincial politicians. About that he was very open. He told my friend that he asked the governor to assist his daughter in getting a nursing job - which he did at a public hospital. I certainly don't want to imply that he is "old money," only that they are clearly not poor or even middle class, even by American standards. But whether he was rich and therefore courted by politicians or used his contacts with politicians to get rich, we don't know - especially since the girl vehemently denies that they are rich. I still like the Vito Corleone analogy. While the father lives in the sticks, my friend and the girl were traveling in the closest city. They went into a store and the store owner introduced the girl as "xxx's daughter" and everyone knew who xxx was. So whether that makes him a well known businessman, a polically connected guy, or the Godfather I don't know. Probably not important to the story.


What kind of cars does he own? Does he live in some kind of fancy estate, mansion, or at least one of those rural gated communities?
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Postby jboy » Sat Mar 16, 2013 6:57 am

I know a pinoy businessman from Mindanao whose car garage looks like a showroom for BMWs, he is involved in smuggling, carnapping and has ties with various politicians. He'll definitely fit the godfather/kingmaker role lol (he's the dad of my ex). It isnt about the cars they drive but how they got them lol.
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Postby Anonymous1 » Sat Mar 16, 2013 1:14 pm

jboy wrote:Thankee davewe for sharing!

I would like to share something, its true not all pinays are desperate or are into money and status. The girl I really like has been courted by a high status businessman from an old rich family and that did nothing in his favor. She was after compatibility, finding real love, friendship and companionship. I know this because I have seen and talked to the guy and he did told me she is one who simply won't be wowed by looks, status, or money and connections. The spanish-chinese-pinoy businessman looks and dresses like a male model, and that did nothing for him pursuing her for years. She's not rich or middleclass, more of lower middleclass and she would benefit a lot if she chose him. As a matter of fact I do not know if she would end up with me, my caucasian looks and financial stability would probably help me no more than the other dude. This is of course just one more pinay story which is far from the stereotype of the forum. Pinays comes in all shapes, sizes and apparently varrying levels of westernization up to the most traditional-marriage quality types.

Regarding mongers, oh man, they are doing real damage particularly for younger men. In the Phillies, being a youngish white looking guy is almost synonymous with monger, its easier to find women who will take you seriously if you are around 40-50 no kidding. Apparently my age (mid 30s) and looks (I work out, 6'1, caucasian looking, google Zach Braff---a forum member here says I look like him) is like having 'monger' tattooed on my forehead lol. End point, if you are a youngish guy you need to really prove your sincerity to be with the QUALITY women of the Phillies.


that is true...in fact most normal filipina women just want a man who could provide 3 things (be a good husband and father, be able to support a family financially, and love is last) many filipinas are not status seekers like richer korean and japanese women. For a japanese guy you..japanese women won't even look at you if you make below 200k...which is a reason why japanese men go to the Philippines to find wives...because filipina women seem more content with the more simple things in life (stable financial situation- no need for uber salary as long as you can support the family)

lol this woman came from a rural family in visayas region of the Philippines and she ended up marrying a korean man from rural korea
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Re: A Filipina Story

Postby davewe » Sat Mar 16, 2013 11:26 pm

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Re: A Filipina Story

Postby mct » Mon Mar 18, 2013 1:52 am

davewe wrote:Yes there is no question the dad is a backer/funder of provincial politicians. About that he was very open. He told my friend that he asked the governor to assist his daughter in getting a nursing job - which he did at a public hospital. I certainly don't want to imply that he is "old money," only that they are clearly not poor or even middle class, even by American standards. But whether he was rich and therefore courted by politicians or used his contacts with politicians to get rich, we don't know - especially since the girl vehemently denies that they are rich. I still like the Vito Corleone analogy. While the father lives in the sticks, my friend and the girl were traveling in the closest city. They went into a store and the store owner introduced the girl as "xxx's daughter" and everyone knew who xxx was. So whether that makes him a well known businessman, a polically connected guy, or the Godfather I don't know. Probably not important to the story.


Of course, there was nothing in your post that implies that the father was old money. I just made a general statement that such politicians or their backers/funders normally do not come from the old, prominent families - most shun it in the recent decades although there are still some that are into it. A close friend of mine (and her branch of the family) recently gave $$$$$$ to fund the campaign of a second or third cousin for senator for no other reason than close family ties. I know personally a few members of the S-X-X-X-X-X-X family from up north (as well as some descendants not carrying the surname but are part of the clan) who are wonderful people - not snobby despite their old rich lineage - and shun being in the spotlight despite their family/clan's involvement (as both politicians and backers/funders) and choose to do their own thing (one is with a conglomerate as a mere "employee"). Sounds like your friend's girlfriend acts the same way and remains modest despite her father's seemingly "important" (which is relative, of course) status. :D

I think you are correct that they are not seemingly middle class even by American standards (although I'll be first to admit that my knowledge of American lives is just limited to some cousins & classmates and a few trips years ago). But a funder/backer such as the girl's father, with local and not national presence, normally shells out at least $300,000 per election time (every 3 years in this case).
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Postby mct » Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:24 am

jboy wrote:Thankee davewe for sharing!
I would like to share something, its true not all pinays are desperate or are into money and status. The girl I really like has been courted by a high status businessman from an old rich family and that did nothing in his favor. She was after compatibility, finding real love, friendship and companionship. I know this because I have seen and talked to the guy and he did told me she is one who simply won't be wowed by looks, status, or money and connections. The spanish-chinese-pinoy businessman looks and dresses like a male model, and that did nothing for him pursuing her for years. She's not rich or middleclass, more of lower middleclass and she would benefit a lot if she chose him. As a matter of fact I do not know if she would end up with me, my caucasian looks and financial stability would probably help me no more than the other dude. This is of course just one more pinay story which is far from the stereotype of the forum. Pinays comes in all shapes, sizes and apparently varrying levels of westernization up to the most traditional-marriage quality types.

Regarding mongers, oh man, they are doing real damage particularly for younger men. In the Phillies, being a youngish white looking guy is almost synonymous with monger, its easier to find women who will take you seriously if you are around 40-50 no kidding. Apparently my age (mid 30s) and looks (I work out, 6'1, caucasian looking, google Zach Braff---a forum member here says I look like him) is like having 'monger' tattooed on my forehead lol. End point, if you are a youngish guy you need to really prove your sincerity to be with the QUALITY women of the Phillies.


Good for you and good luck! Seems that she is rather exceptional.

If the other guy is indeed as prominent as you wrote him to be, then your girl probably saved herself a lot of grief regarding her suitor's family if they tend to be on the snobby side (most families care more about their sons marrying well rather than the daughters since the businesses and shares of stock in them tend to be managed/owned mostly by male family members). Also, his "flashy" lifestyle (male model looks and all) might not be suitable to her... Now you got me thinking on who this guy is (Spanish-Chinese- Filipino, hmmm...)!

And yes, sincerity counts a lot!
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