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A Complete Dating Guide To Mainland Chinese Women

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Postby Anonymous1 » Sun Jun 02, 2013 4:02 am

kai1275 wrote:Meh.... without better resolution, she is maybe a 6/10. Not too bad I suppose. She isn't prettier than pretty black women here in the states imo, but their problem is attitude based, not beauty. Same could be said for all AW. I live in a city where there are super hot ones all over the place. Still would not touch any of them with a 100 ft pole though.


lol a 6??? I was being kind when I said she was a step above winstons girls....but a 6 is beyond generous
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Postby celery2010 » Sun Jun 02, 2013 4:04 am

Interesting guide Kai. Will have to comment that it is not difficult to travel in China, but that i would avoid true 4th tier China and really small towns.

I went to a truly small town in Sichuan. It was indeed very poor and trashed out. However, i've been to decent sized cities in he middle of nowhere (Gansu province in western China and it felt perfectly safe and ran into a blonde haired Israeli guy traveling around solo.

You should also mention that it's extremely difficult to travel during the early October, May and (chinese) new years periods. Overpopulation in China produces a truly nightmarish scenario, but for me, it wasn't quite as bad as i thought, although it would probably be far worse near a megalopolis like Shanghai or something.
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Postby kai1275 » Sun Jun 02, 2013 4:14 am

celery2010 wrote:Interesting guide Kai. Will have to comment that it is not difficult to travel in China, but that i would avoid true 4th tier China and really small towns.

I went to a truly small town in Sichuan. It was indeed very poor and trashed out. However, i've been to decent sized cities in he middle of nowhere (Gansu province in western China and it felt perfectly safe and ran into a blonde haired Israeli guy traveling around solo.

You should also mention that it's extremely difficult to travel during the early October, May and (chinese) new years periods. Overpopulation in China produces a truly nightmarish scenario, but for me, it wasn't quite as bad as i thought, although it would probably be far worse near a megalopolis like Shanghai or something.


You know what, traveling around that time, is not quite as bad as it used to be. Kinda. Like if you can afford a high speed train ticket, those are fine. The cheap choo choo trains are still crowded as f**k though. If you are silly enough to travel around that time, hopefully you have a woman to help you with all of that. I'm not posting alot of information on solo traveling in China because I never do that personally. Never will either. If I need to go there for work purposes outside a tier 1 city, I'm bringing my wife or my best friend with me. I also am not a pro at backpacking and stuff like that. Someone probably needs to make a guide like that though because you are the 2nd person to ask for that in a way. I used up all my placeholder posts too.

I know some laowai like rolling solo in China, but I am one of the other kind that never do that.
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Postby kai1275 » Sun Jun 02, 2013 4:19 am

Also if you are going to roll solo in China, like the guy making the Mexico dating guide says, you better f***ing know some Mandarin! If you cannot speak Mandarin and you leave out the 1st tier cities, you are making life VERY difficult for yourself!!! Non 4-5 star hotel staff, have SHITTY English skills in the 1st tier cities! It can be done, I just don't recommend doing stuff like that.
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Postby kai1275 » Sun Jun 02, 2013 4:24 am

Also if your serious girlfriend or fiance is from a small hometown, you will have to go to 4th tier cities, but she can guide you through those places. Most people are not actually from one of the 4 major cities. There are very cool things to see in China, and having a guide of any kind that can speak English, whether that is a girlfriend or a professional guide is worth the little money that would cost. And if you think travel in China is not hard at all, why would you avoid any 4th tier city? That just proves my point that China is not an easy country to move around in. Lack of Mandarin skills makes it even worse.
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Postby Everdred » Mon Jun 03, 2013 10:56 am

kai1275 wrote:Wow they mobbed you for bickering in the store? f**k! Thank you so much for sharing this, These are the kinds of heads up I was needing people to see. These guys are lucky because they will know all of these things now, and it won't really be a problem.


I think I need to clarify a bit more. They weren't actually mobbing me, but a few people completely stopped what they were doing in the supermarket to rubberneck at us bickering. We weren't shouting at each other or anything like that. We were talking at a regular volume, but I guess our body language gave away the fact that we were arguing with one another. This incident was three years ago, so I honestly can't remember what we were arguing about, probably just some financial issue. Anyways, I could see what was coming if we were to continue arguing, so I basically just walked away from the situation immediately.

I know I posted a lot of negative information earlier, and I don't take any of it back, but let me also say a few good things. The good news is these mega-xenophobic, "death-to-all-laowai" situations don't happen too often, maybe only once a year or so. And there's also many Chinese, especially the younger ones, who don't buy into all the fake nationalism and government propaganda. 90% of the xenophobia I experienced was from the 40+ crowd. However, when these anti-foreigner moments do happen in China - and I promise you they're gonna happen while you're there sooner or later - it does suck being a foreigner for a while. You gotta keep your head low and completely avoid pissing anybody off. Foreigners rarely if ever get killed by angry mobs in China, but foreigners definitely get their asses beat or receive verbal abuse from some xenophobic Chinese from time to time. Quite often the foreigner was being a dick, therefore he deserved it, but sometimes the foreigner wasn't doing a thing to deserve it (like my case). The police do usually break up the crowd and stop the conflict, but occasionally they arrive far too late, and there's very little they can really do to stop anything (such as the Zhengzhou riot incident I linked to earlier).

The Chinese government is largely to blame for so much of the anti-foreigner sentiment in China. They're notorious for inflating "laowai behaving badly" kind of news in order to divert attention away from some of the wrongdoings their committing themselves against their own citizens. The latest political happenings between China and the rest of the world can largely affect how you will be treated day-by-day in China. Some foreigners go years without any incidents, while others hear harsh comments aimed their direction on a semi-regular basis. Sometimes it's hard to judge whether the foreigner is just a dick, or if he did in fact do nothing to deserve the animosity. It largely depends on (in no particular order): where you live in China, the way you carry yourself, whether or not you're in public with a Chinese significant other, and/or the latest China-world political atmosphere. A lot of it's in your own hands, but just as much of it's out of your control.

Regardless of all of this, you shouldn't let this stop you from living in China. My advice: carefully pick the city you plan to live in, carefully pick your area of residence in said city, avoid confrontations with locals (no matter how big or small), avoid reciprocating any hostility directed your way, don't discuss political or religious issues (particularly Chinese ones), and keep a low profile. While these tips won't eliminate any xenophobia aimed your way, they can help keep the xenophobia to a minimum. China's an extremely intriguing place to live, though not always for positive reasons. Just be prepared to be pissed off or frustrated beyond belief far more than you would be in many other countries. Expats in China like to call those negative days "bad China days (BCD)." Ultimately, China's certainly not for everyone. Dare I say it's not for the majority? I would say those who wind up loving China and wind up staying long-term (5+ years) are at best 1 out of every 10 expats. Most people are positive in the beginning, then their positivity slowly fades with time, and then they want they want to get the hell out ASAP.

I honestly wasn't in China that long, only 2.5 years, but I look back at those years nostalgically. China's where my life abroad all began. I was an idiot many times, and I often made newbie mistakes. Pretty much all of us were that way in the beginning. However, I'm very proud of myself for having the courage to take the plunge. I had plenty of "good China days," but I had an equal amount or possibly more "bad China days." All in all it was a pretty damn interesting learning experience. My life in Bangkok is a piece of cake compared to Dalian. I almost want to laugh at some of the things expats in Bangkok often complain about. The daily grievances and annoyances are far greater in China than in Thailand. If you can live in China without going bat-shit insane, you could live practically anywhere in the world. In the end, China's not a place I'd want to live long-term, but I would consider living there for a few years again in the future (although I wouldn't reconsider living in Dalian or any other part of northeastern China). And as long as I'm with my Chinese girlfriend, I'll always be "linked" to China. Luckily, after almost four years now, our relationship still shows no signs of falling apart. If any of you out there are wanting to go to China for the primary purpose of finding a serious girlfriend, please, for heaven's sake, do your homework first! :D
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Postby kai1275 » Mon Jun 03, 2013 1:55 pm

2.5 years in China is not that long? Wow! That is a very long time there. Isn't the typical average for expats something like 2 years? You did better than average probably. You are a more tolerant and patient man than I am, I tip my hat to you fine sir! The only way I would live in China is if I am running a business and have no choice but to live there for a while. I found my life's treasure, and I am getting the f**k outta dodge.

Thanks for your contributions and helping me with this guide/discussion. I really appreciate it. China can be tough to describe and explain to anyone that does not know anything about China, and since everyone here knows you, it helps lend more credibility to what is the truth, that emo-loser/apologist types and mongers are incapable of giving about China.
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Postby xiongmao » Mon Jun 03, 2013 4:27 pm

If you are travelling solo then some Mandarin is a must. Many places don't use roman numerals, just the Chinese numbers. And my visa foxed the hotel receptionist because she didn't know FEB meant the second month of the year! Yeah, try working that out if you're registering with a hotel in the middle of nowhere!

Never seen any xeonphobia here, but the essential thing is to avoid mentioning Japan and don't get involved with political issues. 99% of Chinese people will tell you that Tibet, HK, Macau and Taiwan do and always did belong to China.

Most foreigners fall in love with Guangzhou. Well I was sorely tested tonight as a heavy thunderstorm turned my road into a river! But it was just so great standing on the bus stop seat with a Chinese guy while we waited to get struck by lightning or killed by an aquaplaning truck!!!
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Postby kai1275 » Mon Jun 03, 2013 4:47 pm

xiongmao wrote:If you are travelling solo then some Mandarin is a must. Many places don't use roman numerals, just the Chinese numbers. And my visa foxed the hotel receptionist because she didn't know FEB meant the second month of the year! Yeah, try working that out if you're registering with a hotel in the middle of nowhere!

Never seen any xeonphobia here, but the essential thing is to avoid mentioning Japan and don't get involved with political issues. 99% of Chinese people will tell you that Tibet, HK, Macau and Taiwan do and always did belong to China.

Most foreigners fall in love with Guangzhou. Well I was sorely tested tonight as a heavy thunderstorm turned my road into a river! But it was just so great standing on the bus stop seat with a Chinese guy while we waited to get struck by lightning or killed by an aquaplaning truck!!!


So you got caught in that storm tonight too eh? My fiance got a little wet. She sent me some crazy photos of the flooding water a couple hours ago. Looked pretty bad!
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Postby Rock » Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:25 pm

Everdred wrote:
kai1275 wrote:Wow they mobbed you for bickering in the store? f**k! Thank you so much for sharing this, These are the kinds of heads up I was needing people to see. These guys are lucky because they will know all of these things now, and it won't really be a problem.


I think I need to clarify a bit more. They weren't actually mobbing me, but a few people completely stopped what they were doing in the supermarket to rubberneck at us bickering. We weren't shouting at each other or anything like that. We were talking at a regular volume, but I guess our body language gave away the fact that we were arguing with one another. This incident was three years ago, so I honestly can't remember what we were arguing about, probably just some financial issue. Anyways, I could see what was coming if we were to continue arguing, so I basically just walked away from the situation immediately.

I know I posted a lot of negative information earlier, and I don't take any of it back, but let me also say a few good things. The good news is these mega-xenophobic, "death-to-all-laowai" situations don't happen too often, maybe only once a year or so. And there's also many Chinese, especially the younger ones, who don't buy into all the fake nationalism and government propaganda. 90% of the xenophobia I experienced was from the 40+ crowd. However, when these anti-foreigner moments do happen in China - and I promise you they're gonna happen while you're there sooner or later - it does suck being a foreigner for a while. You gotta keep your head low and completely avoid pissing anybody off. Foreigners rarely if ever get killed by angry mobs in China, but foreigners definitely get their asses beat or receive verbal abuse from some xenophobic Chinese from time to time. Quite often the foreigner was being a dick, therefore he deserved it, but sometimes the foreigner wasn't doing a thing to deserve it (like my case). The police do usually break up the crowd and stop the conflict, but occasionally they arrive far too late, and there's very little they can really do to stop anything (such as the Zhengzhou riot incident I linked to earlier).

The Chinese government is largely to blame for so much of the anti-foreigner sentiment in China.
They're notorious for inflating "laowai behaving badly" kind of news in order to divert attention away from some of the wrongdoings their committing themselves against their own citizens. The latest political happenings between China and the rest of the world can largely affect how you will be treated day-by-day in China. Some foreigners go years without any incidents, while others hear harsh comments aimed their direction on a semi-regular basis. Sometimes it's hard to judge whether the foreigner is just a dick, or if he did in fact do nothing to deserve the animosity. It largely depends on (in no particular order): where you live in China, the way you carry yourself, whether or not you're in public with a Chinese significant other, and/or the latest China-world political atmosphere. A lot of it's in your own hands, but just as much of it's out of your control.

Regardless of all of this, you shouldn't let this stop you from living in China. My advice: carefully pick the city you plan to live in, carefully pick your area of residence in said city, avoid confrontations with locals (no matter how big or small), avoid reciprocating any hostility directed your way, don't discuss political or religious issues (particularly Chinese ones), and keep a low profile. While these tips won't eliminate any xenophobia aimed your way, they can help keep the xenophobia to a minimum. China's an extremely intriguing place to live, though not always for positive reasons. Just be prepared to be pissed off or frustrated beyond belief far more than you would be in many other countries. Expats in China like to call those negative days "bad China days (BCD)." Ultimately, China's certainly not for everyone. Dare I say it's not for the majority? I would say those who wind up loving China and wind up staying long-term (5+ years) are at best 1 out of every 10 expats. Most people are positive in the beginning, then their positivity slowly fades with time, and then they want they want to get the hell out ASAP.

I honestly wasn't in China that long, only 2.5 years, but I look back at those years nostalgically. China's where my life abroad all began. I was an idiot many times, and I often made newbie mistakes. Pretty much all of us were that way in the beginning. However, I'm very proud of myself for having the courage to take the plunge. I had plenty of "good China days," but I had an equal amount or possibly more "bad China days." All in all it was a pretty damn interesting learning experience. My life in Bangkok is a piece of cake compared to Dalian. I almost want to laugh at some of the things expats in Bangkok often complain about. The daily grievances and annoyances are far greater in China than in Thailand. If you can live in China without going bat-shit insane, you could live practically anywhere in the world. In the end, China's not a place I'd want to live long-term, but I would consider living there for a few years again in the future (although I wouldn't reconsider living in Dalian or any other part of northeastern China). And as long as I'm with my Chinese girlfriend, I'll always be "linked" to China. Luckily, after almost four years now, our relationship still shows no signs of falling apart. If any of you out there are wanting to go to China for the primary purpose of finding a serious girlfriend, please, for heaven's sake, do your homework first! :D


That sounds pretty accurate. However, there is also a layer of Chinese cultural identity at play which is more subtle but still makes ethnic Chinese people believe they are inherently superior or at least different. You can see this dynamic at play by carefully observing Chinese under arguably more Chinese neutral national governments such as modern Taiwan, Singapore, Malaysia, or even with many of the Chinese in the States.

But yes, a lot of what goes on in China comes down to what the CCP dictates through it's propaganda machine (USA has one too lol). Actually, it's the government who can also cool down the negative sentiment before it get's too out of control. Case in point - the 1999 USA bombing of PRC embassy in Belgrade. Soon after event, Hu Jintao broadcast a message denouncing the event and basically giving the public a green light to vent. USA embassies around the country were besieged for several days by government sponsored student and public protests. But finally, government sent the cooling signal by broadcasting Clinton's apology on national TV. In spite of the severity of the event, people took the cue and things slowly died down over the weeks and months ahead. By end of year, the two governments reached a settlement and were singing Kumbaya together. In 1999, China still had a lot of stuff to sell to States to achieve its double digit growth rates in the first decade of 21 Century lol. Surprisingly, I don't think I ever read about any laowai actually getting killed in the aftermath. I'm sure there were some attacks and lots of heckling though.

If you really wanna know how bad anti-foreign sentiment can get with Chinese under the right conditions, read a bit about the Boxer Uprising.
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Postby kai1275 » Mon Jun 17, 2013 2:33 am

Added additional travel tips, related to food and medicine, and 1 more additional advice in the manners/do's and dont's section regarding CCP party members.
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Postby zboy1 » Mon Jun 17, 2013 3:42 am

What is the reputation of Koreans in China? What about Asian Americans? I know, in most cases, native Asians are strangely intrigued by us "Asian Americans," and are fascinated by us, similar to what I experienced when I went to South Korea and Thailand a couple years back. Asians do see some of us overseas Asians as 'outsiders,' yet are intrigued by our experiences overseas...
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Postby kai1275 » Mon Jun 17, 2013 4:22 am

zboy1 wrote:What is the reputation of Koreans in China? What about Asian Americans? I know, in most cases, native Asians are strangely intrigued by us "Asian Americans," and are fascinated by us, similar to what I experienced when I went to South Korea and Thailand a couple years back. Asians do see some of us overseas Asians as 'outsiders,' yet are intrigued by our experiences overseas...


Koreans are not highly thought of in China. Chinese treat them the same as anyone else most of the time. You experience should be more positive and interesting if you are Korean-American. Koreans often go to China for vacation and many are extremely rude and get into fights with Chinese over silly stuff. They throw trash anywhere they want, blow smoke at people's faces, spit, yell, smoke in the elevators and hotel lobbies, push and shove people (especially women). They basically act like the own the f***ing place. If you have read my guide, you know that Chinese will mob and beat a mofo up for that shit quickly (that is if they can identify them as Korean and not Chinese).

The Chinese have a word for stupid Koreans they hate "Bang zi", but it is more like the Korean version of "nigger". If someone calls you this, they probably want to start a fight.

If you speak Mandarin well, and you do not have super strong Korean features, none of them would know you were Korean.
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Postby zboy1 » Mon Jun 17, 2013 4:26 am

kai1275 wrote:
zboy1 wrote:What is the reputation of Koreans in China? What about Asian Americans? I know, in most cases, native Asians are strangely intrigued by us "Asian Americans," and are fascinated by us, similar to what I experienced when I went to South Korea and Thailand a couple years back. Asians do see some of us overseas Asians as 'outsiders,' yet are intrigued by our experiences overseas...


Koreans are not highly thought of in China. Chinese treat them the same as anyone else most of the time. You experience should be more positive and interesting if you are Korean-American. Koreans often go to China for vacation and many are extremely rude and get into fights with Chinese over silly stuff. They throw trash anywhere they want, blow smoke at people's faces, spit, yell, smoke in the elevators and hotel lobbies, push and shove people (especially women). They basically act like the own the f***ing place. If you have read my guide, you know that Chinese will mob and beat a mofo up for that shit quickly (that is if they can identify them as Korean and not Chinese).

The Chinese have a word for stupid Koreans they hate "Bang zi", but it is more like the Korean version of "nigger". If someone calls you this, they probably want to start a fight.

If you speak Mandarin well, and you do not have super strong Korean features, none of them would know you were Korean.


Interesting...I'm shocked at the way my 'brethen' in Korea behave when overseas...I think jboy mentioned something similar with the behavior of Koreans in the Philippines. I would think they should learn a thing or two from the Japanese when abroad. Sigh...
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Postby kai1275 » Mon Jun 17, 2013 4:47 am

zboy1 wrote:
kai1275 wrote:
zboy1 wrote:What is the reputation of Koreans in China? What about Asian Americans? I know, in most cases, native Asians are strangely intrigued by us "Asian Americans," and are fascinated by us, similar to what I experienced when I went to South Korea and Thailand a couple years back. Asians do see some of us overseas Asians as 'outsiders,' yet are intrigued by our experiences overseas...


Koreans are not highly thought of in China. Chinese treat them the same as anyone else most of the time. You experience should be more positive and interesting if you are Korean-American. Koreans often go to China for vacation and many are extremely rude and get into fights with Chinese over silly stuff. They throw trash anywhere they want, blow smoke at people's faces, spit, yell, smoke in the elevators and hotel lobbies, push and shove people (especially women). They basically act like the own the f***ing place. If you have read my guide, you know that Chinese will mob and beat a mofo up for that shit quickly (that is if they can identify them as Korean and not Chinese).

The Chinese have a word for stupid Koreans they hate "Bang zi", but it is more like the Korean version of "nigger". If someone calls you this, they probably want to start a fight.

If you speak Mandarin well, and you do not have super strong Korean features, none of them would know you were Korean.


Interesting...I'm shocked at the way my 'brethen' in Korea behave when overseas...I think jboy mentioned something similar with the behavior of Koreans in the Philippines. I would think they should learn a thing or two from the Japanese when abroad. Sigh...


Yeah I was very surprised when I saw it myself and then I learned more about why they act that way, and it basically comes down to Korean men think they are just simply better than "3rd world Chinese People", and the lower level Korean men like to act like assholes and kings when they go to "poorer" Asian countries. They also can hope on a plane and go to China without needing a special visitor visa too. Can you imagine if any American could just hop on a plane and go to any country without needing a travel visa at all? There would be more assholes going to those places.

One incident in China, 2-3 Korean guys (early to mid 20's) went to a KFC and started demanding too much from the cashier girl. They kept arguing with her and then they jumped her and started beating the crap out of her. They were there on vacation and got booked and deported. Korean men are known for treating their women even rougher than Chinese men do and they take that attitude abroad sometimes as well.

All of it was on video too. Maybe it is still on Chinasmack somewhere.
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