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Should I be offended?

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Should I be offended?

Postby Hero » June 26th, 2013, 2:28 pm

Here's the story: I posted a birthday poem on the wall of my Filipina friend's Facebook page. Today I see that the poem has been deleted.

Now, I'm tempted to unfriend her right away, but I decided to give her a chance to explain herself. So I asked her, "What happened to the birthday poem that I posted on your wall?" I'm still waiting for her answer, but in the meantime I was wondering if any of you could guess at the explanation. Could she possibly have an acceptable excuse for this? The only good excuse I can think of is that she wanted to keep the poem private. But people in the Philippines aren't really obsessed with privacy like Americans are.
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Postby Adama » June 26th, 2013, 3:21 pm

With something like that, I'd expect an immediate explanation without having to ask for it.

If it were me, I'd be tempted to ask, but the more rational part of me would say to wait and see if she volunteers one first. I'd wait a few days to see if she has something to say.

If after another 3-4 days has passed and she hasnt, I'd probably just delete her.
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Postby Ava Paige » June 26th, 2013, 3:23 pm

Show me the poem, and maybe I can tell what the reason is.
Don't sweat it. We Filipinos are very sentimental people and we also value our privacy, especially online.
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Postby RedMenace » June 26th, 2013, 3:24 pm

well i can only see two things here. she has a boyfriend or someone she doesn't want to see this poem because it shows her involvement with another dude i.e you. The other is she is embarrassed by it so she removed it to stop her friends asking too many questions.
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Postby Johnny1975 » June 26th, 2013, 3:48 pm

Hero, be my friend on Facebook. Then, when it's my birthday, send me a nice poem. I'll then delete it without explanation. What would you do?

Unfriend her immediately, and leave her one last message telling her why. Then it's up to her what she wants to do.
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Postby Jester » June 26th, 2013, 4:13 pm

RedMenace wrote:she has a boyfriend or someone she doesn't want to see this poem because it shows her involvement with another dude i.e you.
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Postby Hero » June 26th, 2013, 11:32 pm

Ava Paige wrote:Show me the poem, and maybe I can tell what the reason is.
Don't sweat it. We Filipinos are very sentimental people and we also value our privacy, especially online.


Each year your birthday reminds me
That I really want to say
I’m very glad I know you;
I think of you each day.

I hope you enjoy your birthday,
All the pleasures it has in store,
And because I appreciate you,
I hope you have many more!
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Postby Hero » June 26th, 2013, 11:34 pm

RedMenace wrote:well i can only see two things here. she has a boyfriend or someone she doesn't want to see this poem because it shows her involvement with another dude i.e you. The other is she is embarrassed by it so she removed it to stop her friends asking too many questions.


The boyfriend explanation occurred to me, but her FB status is single; wouldn't her other bf protest if she didn't make it official that she was in a relationship with him?

I hope your second explanation is true. But I would hope that she at least kept a copy of the poem.
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Postby Hero » June 26th, 2013, 11:39 pm

Johnny1975 wrote:Unfriend her immediately, and leave her one last message telling her why. Then it's up to her what she wants to do.

That was my first impulse, but it's hard to just delete somebody you've been friends with for 7 years. I just keep telling myself, There must be some misunderstanding, There must be some kind of mistake :(
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Postby Johnny1975 » June 26th, 2013, 11:49 pm

You have every reason to be pis sed off and confused. She must surely know that. She deserves to be told off. And anyway, if she wants to explain, she can always send you a friend request. Or even if that's not possible, you can always include in your message your email address so that she can contact you to explain. You're not in the wrong, she is.

What mistake could there possibly be? She removed your poem. This proves that she knows that you sent her a poem. She could have said something to you while she was at it, but she chose not to. Instead, she chose to confuse you. When she read your poem, she didn't think there was a mistake, so why should you assume there was a mistake by her removing it and then saying nothing? Come on. She knows what she did. It was very rude. You've been friends with her for 7 years and she does that? What kind of a friend is that? Get rid of her. If she wants to explain, she can go out of her way to do so. If she chooses not to, forget about her. 7 years means a lot to you, but as you can see it doesn't seem to mean a hell of a lot to her. Don't make excuses for her. She followed her impulse. Follow yours. Be a man. Make us proud.
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Postby Adama » June 27th, 2013, 2:35 am

Johnny1975 wrote:You have every reason to be pis sed off and confused. She must surely know that. She deserves to be told off. And anyway, if she wants to explain, she can always send you a friend request. Or even if that's not possible, you can always include in your message your email address so that she can contact you to explain. You're not in the wrong, she is.

What mistake could there possibly be? She removed your poem. This proves that she knows that you sent her a poem. She could have said something to you while she was at it, but she chose not to. Instead, she chose to confuse you. When she read your poem, she didn't think there was a mistake, so why should you assume there was a mistake by her removing it and then saying nothing? Come on. She knows what she did. It was very rude. You've been friends with her for 7 years and she does that? What kind of a friend is that? Get rid of her. If she wants to explain, she can go out of her way to do so. If she chooses not to, forget about her. 7 years means a lot to you, but as you can see it doesn't seem to mean a hell of a lot to her. Don't make excuses for her. She followed her impulse. Follow yours. Be a man. Make us proud.


I agree with this one. I dont think she deserves an explanation though. Just remove her. If she wants to send a message with her explanation, then fine. But I wouldnt solicit one from her. Often times, they only provokes lies.
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Postby Teal Lantern » June 27th, 2013, 4:39 am

Hero wrote:
Johnny1975 wrote:Unfriend her immediately, and leave her one last message telling her why. Then it's up to her what she wants to do.

That was my first impulse, but it's hard to just delete somebody you've been friends with for 7 years. I just keep telling myself, There must be some misunderstanding, There must be some kind of mistake :(


Females pull eject on marriages longer than 7 years...
You think your "friendship" of FAKEbook means anything to them? :roll:

I would not unfriend her.
I would add 5 younger, hotter friends, though. :D
не поглеждай назад. 8)

"Even an American judge is unlikely to award child support for imputed children." - FredOnEverything
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Postby Hero » June 27th, 2013, 11:58 am

Teal Lantern wrote:Females pull eject on marriages longer than 7 years...
You think your "friendship" of FAKEbook means anything to them? :roll:

I would not unfriend her.
I would add 5 younger, hotter friends, though. :D


Well, I have met her in person, so it's not just a Facebook friendship. But I'll do what you said.
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Postby Ava Paige » June 28th, 2013, 4:11 pm

Hero wrote:
Ava Paige wrote:Show me the poem, and maybe I can tell what the reason is.
Don't sweat it. We Filipinos are very sentimental people and we also value our privacy, especially online.


Each year your birthday reminds me
That I really want to say
I’m very glad I know you;
I think of you each day.

I hope you enjoy your birthday,
All the pleasures it has in store,
And because I appreciate you,
I hope you have many more!


Aww that poem is really sweet. If I was her, I would be so touched I would highlight it on my wall. Now it kept me wondering why she deleted it, too. The best thing to do is to wait for her reply. If she still won't tell you why, it might mean, honestly, that she does not like you or your poem. She just can't tell you directly because you might get hurt or something.
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Postby germanguy » June 28th, 2013, 4:12 pm

an adult man writing a birthday poem...i would delete that too if i was a woman... sorry but that´s just not the way to go.
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