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Should I be offended?

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Postby Repatriate » Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:45 pm

I agree with the boyfriend or perhaps fuckbuddies theory. However, just throwing a fit and unfriending her is the sort of reaction that will look childish and stupid if it turns out not to be the case. I'd ask her politely why and if the explanation isn't satisfactory then tell her you think that's kind of odd she would do that. Then you can unfriend her. 7 years is not that important if she's not straight forward with you.
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Postby Johnny1975 » Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:50 pm

It's a shame that a guy can't do a nice gesture these days. What he did came from the heart and it's the most natural thing to want to do. The fact of him doing it isn't the problem, she is, for not appreciating it and not reacting appropriately. It was wasted on someone like her.

And who the fu ck cares about him coming across as childish for unfriending her? Who is she anyway? Anyone important? Anyone whose opinion matters? By acting the way she did she lost the right to have her opinion taken seriously.

It's unbelievable how people actually care about the opinion of someone like that, after they (not him) behave in an unacceptable manner. If you behave like that you deserve to be unfriended. By thinking that it's somehow childish, that's like saying that she matters, and her opinion matters. It doesn't. Isn't it amazing how when guys get treated like sh it, their first instinct is still to try to come across the right way, the cool way, like they're unfazed by it, as if the only thing that matters is how they come across to her, and her behaviour means nothing? Why do men try to stay in the good books of women who are unworthy? Why do men treat every event within their interactions with women as an opportunity to prove themselves, even after the woman has acted in a way that puts her out of the game?

Who cares what she thinks. You don't need to impress her with your reaction. You simply need to cut her off. Men need to spend more time testing women, evaluating, assessing, and a bit less time trying to impress.
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Postby germanguy » Sat Jun 29, 2013 8:47 pm

Johnny1975 wrote:It's a shame that a guy can't do a nice gesture these days. What he did came from the heart and it's the most natural thing to want to do.

And who the fu ck cares about him coming across as childish for unfriending her? Who is she anyway? Anyone important? Anyone whose opinion matters? By acting the way she did she lost the right to have her opinion taken seriously.


Dont you realize that what you say is kind of paradox... If she is not anyone important or special, why write a poem in the first place? This is just the kind of stuff that makes women entitled bitches. By any means, if you feel like sending a poem then do it via PM. That way it isn´t as awkward as doing it in public. After all everyone is going to read it and all of her friends are going to think she has some kind of an boyfriend. That´s just going to make her feel uncomfortable especially if she doesn´t even like that guy. You always need to keep in mind that she is going to wonder what other people think about her and what it is that other people would think.

Anyways grown men should not write birthday poems and publish them... That´s just awkward unless you are a great poet.
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Postby Johnny1975 » Sat Jun 29, 2013 10:41 pm

germanguy wrote:
Johnny1975 wrote:It's a shame that a guy can't do a nice gesture these days. What he did came from the heart and it's the most natural thing to want to do.

And who the fu ck cares about him coming across as childish for unfriending her? Who is she anyway? Anyone important? Anyone whose opinion matters? By acting the way she did she lost the right to have her opinion taken seriously.


Dont you realize that what you say is kind of paradox... If she is not anyone important or special, why write a poem in the first place? This is just the kind of stuff that makes women entitled bitches. By any means, if you feel like sending a poem then do it via PM. That way it isn´t as awkward as doing it in public. After all everyone is going to read it and all of her friends are going to think she has some kind of an boyfriend. That´s just going to make her feel uncomfortable especially if she doesn´t even like that guy. You always need to keep in mind that she is going to wonder what other people think about her and what it is that other people would think.

Anyways grown men should not write birthday poems and publish them... That´s just awkward unless you are a great poet.


What I mean is that until now, I'm guessing she was worthy of his attention. But now, she has proved herself to be unworthy, because of her behaviour. Nice gestures isn't what creates entitled bitches.
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Postby Repatriate » Sat Jun 29, 2013 10:50 pm

Johnny1975 wrote: Isn't it amazing how when guys get treated like sh it, their first instinct is still to try to come across the right way, the cool way, like they're unfazed by it, as if the only thing that matters is how they come across to her, and her behaviour means nothing? Why do men try to stay in the good books of women who are unworthy? Why do men treat every event within their interactions with women as an opportunity to prove themselves, even after the woman has acted in a way that puts her out of the game?

Throwing a fit makes you look like a bitch. Some women get satisfaction from seeing you melt down emotionally. Do you not understand that? Playing it off and dropping her asap when you confirm her bad intentions is a much wiser course of action. Plus she never had the satisfaction of seeing you react the way she thought you would.
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Postby Contrarian Expatriate » Sun Jun 30, 2013 2:58 am

It is not good Facebook etiquette to post such a thing on someone's page. You should have sent it to her in a message or posted it in Notes and shared it with her via message.

Posting on a page is impositional and Facebook needs to permit people to approve such postings like Myspace used to do.
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Postby Johnny1975 » Sun Jun 30, 2013 9:44 am

Repatriate wrote:
Johnny1975 wrote: Isn't it amazing how when guys get treated like sh it, their first instinct is still to try to come across the right way, the cool way, like they're unfazed by it, as if the only thing that matters is how they come across to her, and her behaviour means nothing? Why do men try to stay in the good books of women who are unworthy? Why do men treat every event within their interactions with women as an opportunity to prove themselves, even after the woman has acted in a way that puts her out of the game?

Throwing a fit makes you look like a bitch. Some women get satisfaction from seeing you melt down emotionally. Do you not understand that? Playing it off and dropping her asap when you confirm her bad intentions is a much wiser course of action. Plus she never had the satisfaction of seeing you react the way she thought you would.


I understand it very well. But what I'm saying is that who cares what she thinks. I'm not suggesting that he throw a fit. All I'm saying is unfriend her, and also to tell her why, clearly and assertively. That's it. It's perfectly possible to express displeasure without throwing a fit. I don't know where you got the idea that I want him to throw a fit.

My priority would be to get her out of my life, not to give a sh it what she thinks of my reaction. Because even if she was to get some satisfaction from thinking that I'm really upset, at the end of the day the fact of me no longer having anything to do with her would dawn on her, and it would speak for itself. It's like when you tell someone off, and then walk away without looking back. Sure, they might get a brief moment of satisfaction knowing that they rattled your cage, but when they see you just walk off without looking back, it is they who will feel like the fool. So it doesn't matter so much what his reaction is, just as long as it's clear, concise, and as long as he walks away.
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Postby Hero » Mon Jul 01, 2013 2:00 am

Ava Paige wrote:Aww that poem is really sweet. If I was her, I would be so touched I would highlight it on my wall. Now it kept me wondering why she deleted it, too. The best thing to do is to wait for her reply. If she still won't tell you why, it might mean, honestly, that she does not like you or your poem. She just can't tell you directly because you might get hurt or something.


Could be. But I'm getting mixed messages from her. She posts a lot of really nice things on my wall. If she didn't like me anymore, why would she post anything on my wall? For that matter, if she doesn't like me, why didn't she just ignore my friend request?

I'll wait for her reply. I have a feeling that she'll try to just ignore my question, but if she does I'll tell her that either she answers my question, or our friendship is over. She's not worth this kind of stress, especially when I can easily replace her with 5 other girls who are younger and hotter and more normal.
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Postby Teal Lantern » Mon Jul 01, 2013 5:06 pm

Hero wrote:Could be. But I'm getting mixed messages from her. She posts a lot of really nice things on my wall. If she didn't like me anymore, why would she post anything on my wall? For that matter, if she doesn't like me, why didn't she just ignore my friend request?

I'll wait for her reply. I have a feeling that she'll try to just ignore my question, but if she does I'll tell her that either she answers my question, or our friendship is over. She's not worth this kind of stress, especially when I can easily replace her with 5 other girls who are younger and hotter and more normal.


The mixed message is to keep men in "orbit".
Too cold, he loses interest and utility (providing favors, cash, or just attention).
They flirt a little, or write or call.
Too hot, he "steps up" and chases off other orbiters (and by extension, their potential utility).
"LJBF" him :roll:

Women keep orbiters in rotation like canned goods, and how they treat you may be based on nothing more than how the other guys are acting at any given moment.
A woman indifferent to you in March is suddenly nice in April and you wonder why.
The "why" is a reflection of what some of her other "options" are doing.
It's just part of their wiring. You may as well get stressed about sunset.

A half dozen fresh, new faces will take the oneitis edge off, though. :wink:
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Postby Hero » Mon Jul 01, 2013 11:40 pm

Teal Lantern wrote:The mixed message is to keep men in "orbit".
Too cold, he loses interest and utility (providing favors, cash, or just attention).
They flirt a little, or write or call.
Too hot, he "steps up" and chases off other orbiters (and by extension, their potential utility).
"LJBF" him :roll:

Women keep orbiters in rotation like canned goods, and how they treat you may be based on nothing more than how the other guys are acting at any given moment.
A woman indifferent to you in March is suddenly nice in April and you wonder why.
The "why" is a reflection of what some of her other "options" are doing.
It's just part of their wiring. You may as well get stressed about sunset.

A half dozen fresh, new faces will take the oneitis edge off, though. :wink:


That's possible, but her "satellites" are probably a bunch of western men like me. A 33-year-old Filipina can't get even ONE Filipino suitor, let alone a whole bunch of them.
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Postby Hero » Thu Jul 04, 2013 1:01 pm

Update: She said that her sister was using her FB account and she might have deleted some of her wall posts. OK, whatever.
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Postby germanguy » Thu Jul 04, 2013 1:21 pm

Hero wrote: A 33-year-old Filipina can't get even ONE Filipino suitor, let alone a whole bunch of them.


That´s what she is telling you? I guess that´s part of the "all local men are bad" story. Women love to tell foreigners that, it´s because they feel the need to explain why they are looking for a foreigner instead of an ordinary local. It would sound terrible if they were honest and said: "I cant get a local husband because the local men are not stupid enough to take care of a single mother, ugly to average looking that has been working as a bargirl or has some other major flaws. That´s why I am looking for a foreigner because they are used to female trash like me."

Another example would be the sick Buffallo and the ill grandmother in a remote village that has to get medical attention otherwise she would die .

All of that crap is totally wrong. A nice 33 year old Filipina can get a lot of men ie. potential husbands.

If anything it should be:

A 33 years old, single mother, not attractive, dubious reputation, maybe ex-bargirl can not get ONE Filipino suitor.

That would be correct indeed.
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Postby Adama » Thu Jul 04, 2013 6:25 pm

Hero wrote:Update: She said that her sister was using her FB account and she might have deleted some of her wall posts. OK, whatever.


Did you unfriend her?
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Postby Johnny1975 » Thu Jul 04, 2013 7:32 pm

Hero wrote:Update: She said that her sister was using her FB account and she might have deleted some of her wall posts. OK, whatever.


That sounds quite implausible.
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Postby Hero » Thu Jul 04, 2013 10:30 pm

Johnny1975 wrote:
Hero wrote:Update: She said that her sister was using her FB account and she might have deleted some of her wall posts. OK, whatever.


That sounds quite implausible.


Indeed. I asked her why her sister would do that.
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