Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
I've lived in Asia for 9 years now. I've lived in Japan, Thailand, the Philippines, Korea, and China, so I speak as someone who has a lot of experience. Before I go over my experiences in each country I'm gonna tell you some universal truths about Asian women. Keep in mind that I am a tall and decent looking white guy.
Number 1, Asian women SUCK in bed. It isn't because of lack of experience, but because they simply don't even try. They don't put in any effort or show any enthusiasm when it comes to sex. Every woman I dated in Asia that let me bang her was a dead bed. Forget about things like cowgirl, if you beg them they might get on top of you for about 10 seconds before "getting tired" and stopping. I've had girls stop in the middle of sex just to reply to a text! Never once did any of them initiate sex with me.
Asian women don't approach either. You have to put in a tremendous amount of effort here just to make anything happen. Asian women have a very high flake out rate, higher than American women. Some of them might go on a few dates with you and seem interested but then suddenly disappear on you without a trace. They often do this without giving a reason why, they just stop answering your calls and texts.
Compared to American women, Asian women are a lot more materialistic. They expect their man to pay for everything and will often expect them to financially support family members as well. Most of the women I dated here were a serious drain on my wallet.
Don't expect to find monogamy here in Asia either. Out of the 6 women I dated, at least 4 of them cheated on me. I'm only confident that one of them didn't cheat.
Another thing Asian women suck at is conversation. Don't expect to have any remotely deep conversations with any women here. Even ones that speak good English suck at conversation and if you learn the language you'll find out that they suck at having meaningful conversation in their native language! I was only able to have deep conversations with one woman I dated here, the rest sucked as far as conversation, and pretty much everything else, went.
Asian women are also generally selfish and completely unable to consider anyone's feelings but their own. Most of them also seem to have a seriously inflated sense of self-worth and huge entitlement complexes.
Most Asian women are not into one night stands so if that's what you're expecting, this is the wrong continent for that. Stick to girls at the club in America for that.
Japan- This is the first country I went to. I was 24 years old when I first got there. I was there for a total of 3 years and I only dated one woman there. It took a year and a half to find her and I had to endure a lot of rejections and flakes to find her. She was the best woman I ever dated in Asia though. We had great conversations and she didn't even expect me to be her sugar daddy. She would probably be considered "ugly" by most standards but I honestly didn't mind her looks. We were together for about 8 months and she ended up dumping me because her parents did not approve of her dating a foreigner. Even though we broke up over 6 years ago I still think about her everyday. I daydream about what could have been if it were not for her racist parents. I guess it is because she was the last decent woman I ever dated. Japan is probably the best country to teach English though, if you are able to get a job there. The pay is pretty good and you can live a pretty comfortable life without having to sacrifice first world amenities.
Korea- Only lived here for a year but that was about all I could take. I did not even get a hug or a kiss from a woman here. I went on a few dates that didn't go anywhere, that was it. The guys I knew with Korean girlfriends seemed to be in relationships where all of their spare cash went to her and she had all the power. That's usually how relationships play out everywhere in Asia, but this is especially true of Korean women. Koreans tend to be very racist and often openly so. Even ethnic Koreans from other countries who go there complain about their xenophobia. If you ignore the women, the people in general, and their crappy culture, it isn't a bad country to teach English since the pay is pretty good and you don't have to sacrifice too many amenities you are used to as a westerner. Though even though I was saving up lots of money, a year was all I could take, and very few expats stay there for more than 2 years.
the Philippines- I did 2 separate stints here that were roughly 6 months each. One in Manila, one in Cebu. This place does NOT live up to the hype at all. I have no idea why you guys hype up Filipinas so much, they suck as much as any other Asian women. I had no luck with the ladies the first time I went, which was in Manila. During my second stint I dated one girl in Cebu who really drained my bank account. I was planning on taking a full year off but she had me spending money so rapidly I was completely emptied out, and we were only together for a couple months. There really isn't anything good about the place. Crappy food, crappy women, and it is still truly 3rd world in every aspect. It's almost impossible to find a job there. Even just to visit it sucks.
Thailand- During my 2 years here I dated 2 women, and both of them cheated on me. One I caught in the act, the other I had more than enough evidence of. They were two faced bitches who did nothing but spend my money. It the kind of country that you go to for a couple months to chill out but not somewhere you would want to live and work. The pay is pretty low, enough to live a decent lifestyle there but not enough to save up much.
China- I've been here for almost 2 years. One year in Guilin and one in Beijing. I dated two women here and they are easily the two worst human beings I have ever been in a relationship with. They lied all the time, cheated on me, used me for money, and were abusive. Both of them seemed to think it was perfectly acceptable to shout at me in public over nothing. Big time sense of entitlement and generally selfish. Even though neither of them were pretty or even decent looking, they seemed to have egos so big they could be seen from outer space. Chinese women are infamous for their materialism and stuck up attitudes. They expect their man to buy a house and a car for them, and nearly all of them cheat. They're tied with Korean women for the worst women of Asia, probably the worst women on the planet. Loud people, crappy food, smog, materialistic culture, I regret ever coming here. I'm going home soon and I really can't wait.
If I could do it all over again I would have just spent a year traveling around Asia after working in Japan and then moved back to America. I guess I only stayed in Asia as long as I did as a form of escapism from the real world. Now I'm faced with having to start a career at 33 and with a fairly useless degree (Asian studies) and in an economy that is far worse than when I first went to Asia.
this is why I don't like east-asian women. first, I am not attracted to them physically and then mentally, they are very different to me and I know they're very racist as well, which I find it funny since I can't take most east asians very seriously. some of them are cool people but the rest are either ugly women or beta males who are no competition for me and only listen to their parents wishes.
Thanks, finally a great post about how East Asia isn't a total dating paradise. Xiongmao said that dating in Asia is a lot of hard work, and not a total piece of cake as some would like it to be. The Philippines has been way overrated, while Mexico would have been nearly completely ignored on this forum if it weren't for me and AmericanInMexico.
For me, Mexico has in fact been much, much easier to pick up women than in either China or Thailand. In about half of the towns I'd go to in Mexico, I would have women who wanted to be my novia (gf) or even esposa (wife). Sometimes even a girl's family members (brothers, aunts, fathers, etc.) would try to hook me up with her as well. My compitas (buddies) from Veracruz still call me "cuÃ±ado" (brother-in-law) since they're still trying to get me to marry their sister, not some other girl from Guatemala or Thailand!
Especially with urban NE Asian women, which Rock and I have discussed.
I also think Asian women are way-overrated by a lot of people, for some reason. I prefer Latin, Middle Eastern, South Asian and Eastern European women. But I do want to live in Asia--as it's much more advanced place to live--in comparison to countries in Latin America or Eastern Europe, for the most part.
what I keep saying all the time, but people say I am lying. east asian women are simply way overrated.
Turkish women are some of the most underrated women out there. very feminine and so dam beautiful, and they make such great food.
true on that, but only for some (Japan, SK, Taiwan, Singapore). the rest are at the same level as say, Mexico or far worse.
Answers in italic.
I am not even sure why I have responded to this racist troll post...
Anyways, you have been fleeced and you are obviously not attractive to Asian women. Get over it... DonÂ´t blame everything on Asian women just because you have been without success.
Not everybody is made to live in foreign countries and get comfortable with it... Some people just feel better at home. ThatÂ´s it...
I am feeling very comfortable and happy in Asia. At the same time I would do terrible in Latin America...Simply because the culture there is not for me. Even though there are nice countries there I could never live there and be happy about it.
Wow, there's so many things wrong with this I don't know where to begin. I totally disagree with the OP on so many levels. I dated a lot of Thai women and I don't know how you met the women you did but the environment they come from is extremely important. Are they dating you because you're a white foreigner? If so ..run..run for the f***ing hills unless you just want to get some sex out of it or you're planning on engaging in some sort of sponsorship roleplay like Ladislav does.
Also, did you learn any of the local language or bother understanding the cultural nuances?
Let me put it this way, there are 3 types of women that I encountered in Thailand.
1) Money grubbers/foreigner chasers/Female players 2) Traditional girls 3) Girls who are just down for fun but can lead to something serious
I had a long term relationship with a #2 and converted a #3 into a g/f for about a year. #1 usually had absolutely no interest in me because I didn't look like an obvious foreigner and generally speaking their cunty attitudes would shine through quickly. However, I saw the super materialistic girls move on to other guys who didn't really get it and play them over time. #2 type was the best girl and it required some language skills and patience but it was good for a long term relationship which unfortunately ended because the marriage question was one that I didn't want to answer at the time. Plus I had some negative feelings overall about the ability of Thais to raise children which I addressed in an old post. My long term girlfriend was a sweet and caring girl all things considered and i'm glad I was with her.
From my observations the vast majority of foreigners I saw hooked up with category 1 types and did so from venues like nightclubs or in situations where girls were a little eager to hook up with a foreigner. There are usually lots of obvious warning flags and you need to properly vet the women beforehand and see what their friends are like, their dating patterns, and where they work. The foreign guys I knew who were very successful and in stable relationships usually had language skills, cultural knowledge, and a got to know the girl very well before proceeding to something more long term. Plus they usually learned to form their own social circle.
The sex thing varies a lot from girl to girl too in my experiences. I don't see how you had uniformly dead lays unless the girls were just feigning interest to get what they wanted. I had a great time with most of the girls I dated in that respect even though my longest relationship was with a traditional girl who was rather inexperienced. This is more of an individual thing though and what kind of physical rapport you had. Both of the horniest girls I ever dated were asian..one Thai in category #3 and a korean-american girl. They were down for a lot and often. Even the rather traditional girl I was with for a long term relationship really enjoyed sex.
I don't know what to say about your experiences except perhaps you just didn't cast your net wide enough. I always feel the worst women are the ones who speak english a little too well and have dated foreigners before. I purposely avoided that and I had mostly good experiences.
Last edited by Repatriate on July 6th, 2013, 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
Agree. And this is exactly the reason why most foreigners fail terribly when trying to get an Asian wife/gf. Unfortunately this is also the reason Asian girls have such a bad reputation. Stupid foreigners ruin it by doing stupid things...Unfortunately afterwards they blame it on everybody but themselves. Buy a house and car for a bargirl and see what happens next...Of course she is going to dump you and you lost all your cash on that sweet hooker from Pattaya that promised to love you long time. I dont understand why people still are that gullible.
A girl that has dated an foreigner before would be a 100% no-go for me. ItÂ´s one of the biggest red flags possible...
Avoid any girl that is:
- living in a tourist area
- has had foreign boyfriends before
- speaks good english without reasonable explanation
- a bargirl or a former bargirl
- not having a job (unless from a rich family)
- hanging out at bars, going to clubs
- drinking, smoking, taking drugs
- having tattoos
- known to be promiscious
... lots of other red flags I have forgot to mention now.
There's a reason why Turkish men all flock to other countries to get laid. Plus they have a violent and jealous culture which has extremely chauvinistic attitudes towards foreigners dating their women. Some turkish women may be beautiful but it's not worth all the hassles dating into that sort of culture.
Nice post about Thailand Repatriate.
Yeah, the foreigners are see here are mostly with type 1's, but they're fine if you're just here for a fortnight or are one of those guys who comes here every year. Just met a European guy in my hotel and he's here for the Nth time. I also met his girl - they actually look a great couple!
Nice girls do exist here but you're really going to struggle to meet any if you just come here for a fortnight. I've been here nearly 30 days now and have only met 4 ladies. Of which 3 were good girls, one questionable (maybe a type 3).
I've dated nearly 30 Asian women so far now. Not bad for a guy who has no game! In virtually all cases it's only been a single date - Asian women are ultra clingy so if you don't see potential in a relationship then ditch them immediately.
Sex wise, well many Chinese girls have watched blue movies as they put it, and want to try stuff out. If you meet one of these girls you're a lucky guy!
Other than that, it's been my experience that good girls are no less likely to cheat on you than the bad girls.
I'm under no illusions that Thailand is a good place to find a wife. That's not why I'm here.
I quit my boring cubicle slave job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Want to teach English overseas? Check out my TEFL blog.
Plus, if you like Asian girls, then join my free Asian dating site.
Absolutely. Men who date pros are just fools. I feel that a lot of western men are blinded by asian culture and asian stereotypes. Even hardened whores in Thailand can act very sweet and caring. In western countries women tend to be more extroverted in their personality and show their true colors without much prompting. If a western woman is a whore they tend to act and look like whores. If they are golddiggers they unapologetically display golddigger behavior. In Asia the cultural tells are obvious to the locals but to foreign men all they see is a sweet asian girl who is "different" than the others even when they know she's a whore or a party girl. It's baffling.
I agree with this list but even if a girl is relatively well off if she doesn't have any type of real work to me that shows low ambition and possible low moral character.
I'll add to that list, this is more Thailand specific but it can apply anywhere just substitute specific details.
If a girl has been abroad for a very long time ie. America or Australia then you really need to watch out too. They change a LOT when abroad because when your average asian girl goes to those countries they are put on a pedestal and have tons of moronic western men hitting on them. Some of them develop a complex about it when they get home. Some still retain their culture like the girl #3 I dated for a year. However the ones who do change usually become really nasty women who aren't totally westernized but still picked up all the negative western female behavioral traits.
A good sign when you're in a relationship with an asian girl is how willing she is to mention you to her close friends and family. Then the next step is how willing she wants you to meet her close friends and family.
Her friends are important as well. Does she have category #1 types in her social circle even if your girl is not like that? If so..expect changes in her behavior. They will whisper shit in her ear and give her terrible life advice and she will act on it eventually. I find a lot of asian girls to be very impressionable in this sense with their in group conformism.
If her friends are all sweet and good natured then you're likely good to go.
Another good indicator is the university she went to. In Thailand where a woman went to school is a pretty good indicator of her lifestyle and personality.
An example for Bangkok, Thailand.
-Chulalongkorn (best public university in thailand) Probably middle to upper class. Slightly snooty. Possibly high maintenance.
-Thammassat (good poli sci/humanities orientated school) Probably middle to upper class. More liberal and open minded in general.
-Bangkok U. Average middle class girl. Above average academics or intelligence but not likely to speak much english.
-ABAC (private international college) Most likely an underachiever and party girl.
-Rakhamhaeng (no entrance exam required u.) Likely a prostitute.
There are other reads you can get from the school they went to and i'm sure every asian country has their university "tells" you can discern information from.
Frugality test. On the first and subsequent dates does she make a real unprompted attempt at paying her share? I'm not talking about half-hearted bullshit but actually pulling money out when it's time for the bill.
Does she seem overly obsessed with big brand names only or is she also cool with buying clothing from random kiosks at places like Pratunam as long as it looks good? Every girl loves Coach but does she insist on ONLY buying the best shit always? This sounds like a stupid flag but if a girl has a thing about only just wearing high class shit to show off she's most likely very materialistic deep down even if she doesn't appear to be in other ways. I guess the exception here is if she's truly wealthy and can splash out for whatever she wants but still..she can be wealthy and want to use you too.
Always examine facebook and vacation pics too.
If you have her e-mail it doesn't hurt to do a google search just to see what kind of hits you get. You'd be surprised sometimes.
The problem with Anglo men who go off to foreign societies is that often times their self esteem is very low. Years of being told that you are worthless and better off dead (both subliminally and sometimes outright) take a toll on men. Years of hitting on women and having them reject you for no good reason.
So Anglo men take that mindset with them. They feel worthless. Their courage is very low since they've had it beaten out of them.
The easiest women to meet are the hookers, bar girls, party sluts. And since Western culture doesnt allow for men to judge women in any way, these men often choose to overlook what these women are doing or have done in the past.
Lots of American men wind up marrying sluts anyhow. The expat men think it is perfectly natural to go with a woman with a past.
Because of the low self esteem, lack of courage, inability to discriminate among women, it is really an uphill battle to find a good woman.
Now once you realize this is the case, you can begin working on the problem. First you need to acknowledge this is the problem though.
Last edited by Adama on July 6th, 2013, 7:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.