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Moving to Thailand - Part 1: Is Living in Thailand For You?

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby Jester » Thu Sep 26, 2013 9:34 pm

anamericaninbangkok wrote:
Jester wrote:
kai1275 wrote:
Jester wrote:
....[b]AIB, many White men who marry "native" get pretty defensive about their adopted homeland. Go easy[/b].


I think that is little absurd and off the mark. I think he doesn't like bullshit, lies, and sheer exaggerations. Where do you even get stuff like this from? Marry native and get defensive about their adopted homeland? WTF does that even mean? Have you ever lived in Thailand before? ......

I do not see any White Knight-ish stuff from any of their posts. If you saw any, I would love to see it.



....Regarding AIB, my point is
(1) AIB is a tough guy, and a tough-minded guy as well
(2) He has Thai kids
(3) He has his act together in life.

I think that when "haves" encounter "have-nots", they should cut them some slack.

You mention Winston among the folks who rant here too much without engaging effectively with real life. Okay. That's my point. HA needs to accommodate the average frustrated chump, who is just starting to wake up, stumbling toward glory.

AIB's bare-knuckle approach is appropriate on forums like TeakDoor, filled with clever, cynical, acerbic, moneyed Brits. Or on Roosh, where posters enter the forum with dicks swinging.

I don't think we need that here, unless we want to drive off quite a few folks.

PS Forget the expats with "native" wives. Just think about how defensive Latins get on internet forums if their country is criticized. OMG they go ballistic. (It's not universal - Filipinos and Americans are probably too hard on their homelands).


First Jester, my kids are Thai-American, they're not Thai. I'm not sure if you know this. They have US passports and could go live there today. I didn't take over another guy's Thai kids. That's not my style so let me be clear about this.



Yes I knew that. Sorry if I was unclear.

When I said you HAD Thai kids, I meant they were YOURS.

IMO a man's heart ought to be with his kids.
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:48 pm

Jester wrote:
anamericaninbangkok wrote:
Jester wrote:
kai1275 wrote:
Jester wrote:
....[b]AIB, many White men who marry "native" get pretty defensive about their adopted homeland. Go easy[/b].


I think that is little absurd and off the mark. I think he doesn't like bullshit, lies, and sheer exaggerations. Where do you even get stuff like this from? Marry native and get defensive about their adopted homeland? WTF does that even mean? Have you ever lived in Thailand before? ......

I do not see any White Knight-ish stuff from any of their posts. If you saw any, I would love to see it.



....Regarding AIB, my point is
(1) AIB is a tough guy, and a tough-minded guy as well
(2) He has Thai kids
(3) He has his act together in life.

I think that when "haves" encounter "have-nots", they should cut them some slack.

You mention Winston among the folks who rant here too much without engaging effectively with real life. Okay. That's my point. HA needs to accommodate the average frustrated chump, who is just starting to wake up, stumbling toward glory.

AIB's bare-knuckle approach is appropriate on forums like TeakDoor, filled with clever, cynical, acerbic, moneyed Brits. Or on Roosh, where posters enter the forum with dicks swinging.

I don't think we need that here, unless we want to drive off quite a few folks.

PS Forget the expats with "native" wives. Just think about how defensive Latins get on internet forums if their country is criticized. OMG they go ballistic. (It's not universal - Filipinos and Americans are probably too hard on their homelands).


First Jester, my kids are Thai-American, they're not Thai. I'm not sure if you know this. They have US passports and could go live there today. I didn't take over another guy's Thai kids. That's not my style so let me be clear about this.



Yes I knew that. Sorry if I was unclear.

When I said you HAD Thai kids, I meant they were YOURS.

IMO a man's heart ought to be with his kids.


I thought you knew but just wanted to be sure.
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Postby zboy1 » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:57 pm

Anyone that owns a website called: "Happier Back Home, Living abroad is so overrated," is cause for concern.

http://www.happierbackhome.com/about/

Do you seriously expect me to take anything that Xiongmao says seriously, then. Isn't it suspicious that he creates that website just a little over a couple months after being on "HappierAbroad." Hmnnn.........

I think he's full of bullsh*t, but he's entitled to his opinions. That's why I haven't deleted or banned him from this forum, because he creates a counterbalance to most people's views here. This isn't RooshV's site where only approved messages get posted, and where disagreements and counter-arguments get deleted from view...Just, take his posts with a grain-of-salt, that's all!
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Postby publicduende » Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:06 pm

zboy1 wrote:Anyone that owns a website called: "Happier Back Home, Living abroad is so overrated," is cause for concern.

http://www.happierbackhome.com/about/

Do you seriously expect me to take anything that Xiongmao says seriously, then. Isn't it suspicious that he creates that website just a little over a couple months after being on "HappierAbroad." Hmnnn.........

I think he's full of bullsh*t, but he's entitled to his opinions. That's why I haven't deleted or banned him from this forum, because he creates a counterbalance to most people's views here. This isn't RooshV's site where only approved messages get posted, and where disagreements and counter-arguments get deleted from view...Just, take his posts with a grain-of-salt, that's all!


That's top quality mod talk, Zboy. You're the man.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yh-S4m7tMD8[/youtube]
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Postby publicduende » Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:07 pm

kai1275 wrote:First off, I lurked here for over 2 years. I never posted because I had nothing useful to offer anyone here. That was my f***ing choice. I kept my f***ing mouth shut and learned, studied, and planned. Now that I have plenty of free time and experience, knowledge, and advice to offer I am sharing it. I chose the China route and there was not much about China here on HA back then.. Lots guys here enjoy what I bring to HA. I am part of that new wave of HA guys and I contribute.

Apparently you don't keep up very well. The old format is pretty much gone. Odbo and the Stormfront trash are gone. Boycott All Women is gone too. The "old" format was trash. The current one is not too radically different, but it is more progressive in mind. It isn't done growing actually but it is changing into a CAN DO type of HA group. Solution oriented. Look at Winston, he is doing talks and seminars now, and actively trying to find ways to spread the word. Others I mentioned are offering advice and information. The past HA was full of fights and took effort to find gems amougst the garbage. It required super thick skin to even stomach reading these forums. You wanna bitch and complain on someone giving a light spanking to Xiongmao? Have you bothered reading anything going back 2 years ago? Come off your misguided nostalgia.

We are trying to get guys to do things and work at it. Nothing good comes by being lazy as f**k, crying, moping, and having a shitty attitude. HA tolerates whatever the posters here are willing to tolerate. The bigots are gone for now, and more changes will follow for sure. I know for a fact I won't be posting here forever. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. Someone younger and newer has to step up and help contribute because things change and HA will always need ground reports, feedback, and advice. Anyone presenting the opposite, should be met with resistance. Winston and Zboy made changes for the sake of the forum a while back and look at the progress! This site is getting more popular by the day! Look at Peter's post about the Alexa ratings!

Your arguments makes no f***ing sense at all. You want people to be more PC and gentle with others, but yet you want some kind of old HA, which was far far meaner than now. No one called his mother a whore or called him fat and useless, but instead called him out on his bullshit. Then you rise like some social worker PC white knight from the ashes. If anything, a guy like you will cause more bigots to rise with your attitude. They see PC and go nuts. Winston hates PC and the mods do too. We can be stern in here and keep it reasonable without ad hominem attacks.

If you cannot handle a little tough talk, just admit it and be done with it. Don't try and bullshit anyone here like we fell off some god damned turnip truck yesterday. If what you are seeing right now, disturbs you because you loved the old guard in here, tough nuts. That shit is old history now. Hardly anyone cares for that useless garbage here anymore, it's been beaten to death.

Oh yeah, and f**k Roosh. I don't read his f***ing site, I don't understand most RooshV references any of you make, but the less Roosh content and comparisons we have to deal with in here, the better. Stop exaggerating shit. No one is forcing PUA and Game junk down anyone's throat in here. I haven't seen a legit PUA thread in here in months.


LOL see what I mean?? Are you sure you're that different from anybody else, if the slightest (polite) criticism is enough to blow your top and let you off on a rant spiked by 4-letter-words? I have appreciated your contributions like everybody else and I hear you loud and clear enough without you having to pose as the forum saviour, or the sole reason why the Alexa ratings are going up. New or old wave doesn't matter. This is a public, unmoderated forum and Winston will cash in whether it's Cornfed going on about evil feminists and manginas or AiB dishing out top-notch expat info on Thailand.

So, relax.

I applaud that f*cking choice of yours, to leave your homeland behind and move to China. You chose to cut the middle man and have a taste of one of the widest culture gaps an American can possibly experience. You found a young wife who adores you and life is sweet. Bravo to you. And bravo to the idea, whoever will apply it, of putting travel reports and factual information about living and dating abroad ahead of any sexist, racist, violent and generally useless ranting. Better save that kundalini up to work, save some money and start putting stamps on that passport.

So now can you tell me what has all this got to bashing and ridiculing a fellow members for just stating their opinions - perhaps incompetently, naively but at least politely (I think XM in question is one of the least foul-mouthed people I've read in here)? Assuming "the truth" exists and the listener is willing to receive it, nevermind follow up on it, are you really afraid such truth will be lost when other posters want to say something that you view as of a lesser quality than what you would expect?

If Winston and the mods, or you when you become one, want to turn off the BS valve for good and turn HA into just another plain (s)expat forum, then XiongMao and posters with less knowledge of Asian cultures and societies may well feel less motivated to contribute, and will probably lurk or leave. Even then, so long this is a public, unmoderated forum and nobody is calling a fellow poster's wife or mom a slut, there's nothing to stop polite opinions from being written and read.

Those who read and interact shall be smart enough to take from that smorgasbord of information, advice, saucy stories and plain crap whatever the hell they want, digest it and shit it away. Like I said before, if AiB's contributions and yours are head and shoulder above the rest, I'm sure any reader worth his brain salt will have already appreciated it and praised you for it. Plain and simple.

For one last time, there's no need to call names and play this tough boy act. To ask members not to insult and ridicule other members for the sake of throwing their weight around, nevermind on a forum that has never had any pretension to be the ultimate authority on expat living or foreign dating, is not "social worker PC white knight" stuff from the ashes. It's simply good manners and common sense, which should probably belong to the realm of any human interaction, whether online and IRL.

After all, if you're keen to write well-thought, top quality material about your travels and your life in China, you can always create your own blog or personal website like AiB has done. Once there, you will set the rules, write and edit your material and moderate the heck out of whatever comments they will attach to it. Or you can post your stuff here and I for one will be pleased to read it. I say just don't fall into the delusion that you're one of the elite few whose posts are read and appreciated.
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:24 pm

zboy1 wrote:Anyone that owns a website called: "Happier Back Home, Living abroad is so overrated," is cause for concern.

http://www.happierbackhome.com/about/

Do you seriously expect me to take anything that Xiongmao says seriously, then. Isn't it suspicious that he creates that website just a little over a couple months after being on "HappierAbroad." Hmnnn.........

I think he's full of bullsh*t, but he's entitled to his opinions. That's why I haven't deleted or banned him from this forum, because he creates a counterbalance to most people's views here. This isn't RooshV's site where only approved messages get posted, and where disagreements and counter-arguments get deleted from view...Just, take his posts with a grain-of-salt, that's all!


First, the foul mouthed version.

I forgot all about this wormy cocksucker's website. If he's happier back home, tell him to get the f**k out of Thailand and go home. I prefer not to hear his bullshit and whining. Personally, I think he's a spoiled little c**t who doesn't know his ass from a hole in the wall. Anyone ever think he may have an agenda spewing about all his girl issues? Crying like a little bitch about everything and anything.

The PC version:

This fine gentleman Xiongmao has a website of his own? Why I did not know this my good man. He is clearly one of the best posters on this forum and I can see why, he is a man full of vibrant experiences. Sometimes I disagree with his information, however, he is entitled to his f***ing bullshit remarks (oops), he is entitled to write what he likes, after all, here on HA men value what one another post. Even if it is complete rubbish (oops), I mean, even if there is a slight chance of being erroneous. I think Xiongmao is a fantastic poster and he'll go down in history as one of the all-time greats.

Listen publicduende, I'm not here to stroke this newbies cock or pat his little ass. No one is. The vast majority of what he posts is dogshit, whether fact-based or experience based. If you find issue with the bad words, this is a different matter. But XM is so full of "erroneous information (polite)" that it shouldn't be overlooked for creating a history of information that cannot be relied upon. I don't have to go and attack the gentleman (c**t) but if he posts glaringly ridiculous posts, I'm going to call him on it every single time.

This satirical post is meant to be humorous and let me pre-extend my apologies (f**k you) if you're offended by anything written.
Last edited by anamericaninbangkok on Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby publicduende » Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:30 pm

anamericaninbangkok wrote:Listen publicduende, I'm not here to stroke this newbies cock or pat his little a**. No one is. The vast majority of what he posts is dogshit, whether fact-based or experience based. If you find issue with the bad words, this is a different matter. But XM is so full of "erroneous information (polite) that it shouldn't be overlooked for creating a history of information that cannot be relied upon. I don't have to go and attack the gentleman (c**t) but if he posts glaringly ridiculous posts, I'm going to call him on it every single time.

This satirical post is meant to be humorous and let me pre-extend my apologies (f**k you) if you're offended by anything written.


LOL well at least you wrapped your opinion in sarcasm sauce. Thanks for trying!
You don't have to strike anybody's cock, only one p***y and you know whose. And if you have to feel like calling him (on his BS) every single time, it means you possibly have way too much free time - lucky you - and you may well spend it giving out more valuable information. Profanity or not.
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Postby kai1275 » Fri Sep 27, 2013 1:00 am

You make no valid points so you resort to getting offended by our profanity? Spoken like a true woman. I don't have anything more to say to a PC loving, thin-skinned person like you. You remind me of the women that would get upset when they were told not to walk around the electricians, rig-hands, and other roughnecks, but did it anyway.

If you cannot handle the heat stay out the kitchen.
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Postby xiongmao » Fri Sep 27, 2013 3:18 am

Yikes. Calm down dudes.

I just tell stuff as I see it. I've never got in any flame wars and the only person I've had a go at is Odbo (but that was all off-board). I hope I inspired some lurkers do go check out some other countries for themselves. Shame I haven't persuaded Winston to come to Thailand and check it out for himself.

I started the Happier Back Home blog quite recently but I've been on HA a fairly long time - since 2011 in fact.

I'm still not happy about that site but one thing I will say is that Thailand is full of guys (and girls) who come here because their life at home sucked. Sometimes a change of country works, but often it doesn't, sometimes with tragic circumstances.

At least I have actually posted core material, i.e. the journey from quitting my job and going abroad. Winston needs MORE expat type stuff, and less shit about stonehenge being built in the 50's. Then he'll make more money.

As to my views about where I am, well I feel pretty much the same about Bangkok as Stickman does and in the last month he has also written about the flooding, the terrible traffic and the low quality of girls here (at least in the bars). Thailand is still good, but it was no doubt better when my uncle was coming here in the 70's. Still, I have no plans to move anywhere else soon. I'll also recommend Winston and anyone else who hasn't visited Thailand to come here.

As to Asian culture, well I know plenty about that. But I have no interest in visiting shrines, the countryside etc. etc. etc.

I don't really feel like posting anything new. My journey is now private. It's a shame because while I've been distracting you guys with talk of ants and mosquitoes, I've been doing some very epic stuff here, including some stuff that NOBODY here has ever written about.

I liked Falcon's/Rock's thoughts about being in your niche. I have found a my niche here, just like I had a niche in China.

As to RooshV - I met a guy from the board. He was an arse, gaming girls where game was neither appreciated nor needed. And he got banned by Roosh. What a beta!

Anyway, if anyone is still stressed out, then just be thankful you're not in this pickup truck:

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Postby Jester » Fri Sep 27, 2013 5:43 am

xiongmao wrote:Yikes. Calm down dudes...

Thailand is still good, but it was no doubt better when my uncle was coming here in the 70's. Still, I have no plans to move anywhere else soon. I'll also recommend Winston and anyone else who hasn't visited Thailand to come here.


As to Asian culture, well I know plenty about that. But I have no interest in visiting shrines, the countryside etc. etc. etc.

I don't really feel like posting anything new.
My journey is now private. It's a shame because while I've been distracting you guys with talk of ants and mosquitoes, I've been doing some very epic stuff here, including some stuff that NOBODY here has ever written about.

I liked Falcon's/Rock's thoughts about being in your niche. I have found a my niche here, just like I had a niche in China.....



Re the 70's... a well-placed Thai source told me, back in the 70's, about an American Air Force sergeant who had NINE female domestic servants living-in.

He said it with wide-eyes, perhaps admiration, perhaps jealousy. (This individual later was practicing some wide-open polygamy himself, when I last saw him in the 90's, but since he is Thai, that's off-topic.)

So regarding AIB or anyone saying you're wrong about LOS being better in the good old days -- they are full of shit.

Even if not the 1970's Hanging Gardens of Nebuchednezer, still I'm glad you nevertheless like the place!

I must admit that some of us are going to be curious to hear about those never-before-chronicled antics of yours.

Enjoy the niche... thoroughly.
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Postby publicduende » Fri Sep 27, 2013 6:59 am

kai1275 wrote:You make no valid points so you resort to getting offended by our profanity? Spoken like a true woman. I don't have anything more to say to a PC loving, thin-skinned person like you. You remind me of the women that would get upset when they were told not to walk around the electricians, rig-hands, and other roughnecks, but did it anyway.

If you cannot handle the heat stay out the kitchen.


'ts OK. You still don't get it, but the kitchen is big enough to fit both of us. Keep the MGTOW "tough boy" shields up if that's what makes you think and feel better. I will continue to believe that it is indeed possible to give great travel and life abroad advice without having to be adversarial and resorting to ridiculing your fellow posters.
Last edited by publicduende on Fri Sep 27, 2013 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby zboy1 » Fri Sep 27, 2013 7:30 am

Hey guys...let's chill with the arguing or else I'm going to have to lock the thread. Please, let's keep it civil...
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » Fri Sep 27, 2013 7:55 am

Jester wrote:
xiongmao wrote:Yikes. Calm down dudes...

Thailand is still good, but it was no doubt better when my uncle was coming here in the 70's. Still, I have no plans to move anywhere else soon. I'll also recommend Winston and anyone else who hasn't visited Thailand to come here.


As to Asian culture, well I know plenty about that. But I have no interest in visiting shrines, the countryside etc. etc. etc.

I don't really feel like posting anything new.
My journey is now private. It's a shame because while I've been distracting you guys with talk of ants and mosquitoes, I've been doing some very epic stuff here, including some stuff that NOBODY here has ever written about.

I liked Falcon's/Rock's thoughts about being in your niche. I have found a my niche here, just like I had a niche in China.....



Re the 70's... a well-placed Thai source told me, back in the 70's, about an American Air Force sergeant who had NINE female domestic servants living-in.

He said it with wide-eyes, perhaps admiration, perhaps jealousy. (This individual later was practicing some wide-open polygamy himself, when I last saw him in the 90's, but since he is Thai, that's off-topic.)

So regarding AIB or anyone saying you're wrong about LOS being better in the good old days -- they are full of shit.

Even if not the 1970's Hanging Gardens of Nebuchednezer, still I'm glad you nevertheless like the place!

I must admit that some of us are going to be curious to hear about those never-before-chronicled antics of yours.

Enjoy the niche... thoroughly.


Jester - Just like there are indeed guys getting laid in the US, there are also plenty of guys having a fantastic time here. Thailand was different in the good old days, obviously cheaper, and the girls were less mercenary. Things have changed, definitely, some for the good, some for the bad, but Thailand hasn't gone to shit. If you actually lived here, you would know this. The days of boneheads coming to teach English here are pretty much over, thankfully. I could go on and on...those who know, know. Those who don't, are only f***ing guessing. But that's just my "experience."
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Postby Winston » Fri Sep 27, 2013 8:46 am

AiB,
Come on now. Lots of guys get girls without speaking the local language. I don't think that's Xiongmao's real problem. Isn't it more probable that his problem is that:

- He is a balding older guy and isn't physically appealing to the women.
- He lacks charm and people skills, or is too shy, and doesn't know how to connect with women.

Those two would be a deal breaker, even in SE Asia, which is the easiest place in the world to pick up girls.

Many expats in Asia also have cold personalities and lack people skills. I've seen plenty of them in Angeles City. Girls don't like those types either.

Isn't that a more probable explanation of his problem than him not learning the local language? When I was in Russia, I communicated with girls fine with just an electronic dictionary. It was fun trying to guess each other's meaning too. It created more mystery that way.

Btw, can't you just tell someone that they're wrong without being abrasive and using insults? Try to be more tactful please. As the New Age guru Wayne Dyer said, "It's better to be kind than right".
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » Fri Sep 27, 2013 9:55 am

Winston wrote:AiB,
Come on now. Lots of guys get girls without speaking the local language. I don't think that's Xiongmao's real problem. Isn't it more probable that his problem is that:

- He is a balding older guy and isn't physically appealing to the women.
- He lacks charm and people skills, or is too shy, and doesn't know how to connect with women.

Those two would be a deal breaker, even in SE Asia, which is the easiest place in the world to pick up girls.

Many expats in Asia also have cold personalities and lack people skills. I've seen plenty of them in Angeles City. Girls don't like those types either.

Isn't that a more probable explanation of his problem than him not learning the local language? When I was in Russia, I communicated with girls fine with just an electronic dictionary. It was fun trying to guess each other's meaning too. It created more mystery that way.

Btw, can't you just tell someone that they're wrong without being abrasive and using insults? Try to be more tactful please. As the New Age guru Wayne Dyer said, "It's better to be kind than right".


Other than what seems to be an unwillingness to listen to others with more experience, I have no problem with his personality issues. People are who they are.

As far as the learning the language, in my opinion he would do better if he spoke some Thai. I definitely do not think his inability to speak the language is his only problem but I do think it would open a whole new world up for him. This isn't the PI where many locals speak English, it's Thailand, land of girls who giggle when asked if they speak English.

Isn't that a more probable explanation of his problem than him not learning the local language?


The language is only part of the problem but if he's shy, bald, physically unappealing it just adds to the list of reasons why a Thai girl may not like him. You've already stated he lacks charm (always helpful), people skills (again, helpful), too shy, doesn't know how to connect. We can give him the tools but he has to be willing to use them. If he wants to hide behind a computer and never venture out, how is this going to help with his weaknesses? I know it may sound harsh but if you have a fear of flying, get onto a plane. If you have a fear of heights, go skydiving, if you have a fear of being punched, take boxing lessons and get hit a few times. Whatever it is, attack your fears, don't walk around them and find other ways to avoid them. I mean this with the utmost respect to the guy, seriously. EVen then there's no guarantees but at least it may increase his chances.
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