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China's Lonely Hearts

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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China's Lonely Hearts

Postby Taco » Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:35 pm

This documentary explores the harsh realties of finding love in China.

China's Lonely Hearts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03QdBjXy2Fk
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Postby Ghost » Tue Oct 22, 2013 4:08 am

I think being a poor young man in China could possibly be worse than being a poor young man in the States. China has a lot of problems, problems perhaps on par and some even worse than Western problems.
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Postby The Professor » Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:21 am

Ghost wrote:I think being a poor young man in China could possibly be worse than being a poor young man in the States. China has a lot of problems, problems perhaps on par and some even worse than Western problems.


Agreed. The average guy in China has a much harder time getting a Chinese wife than an average guy in America will have getting an American girlfriend. China probably has the worst dating scene in the world. I imagine all of the sexual frustration contributes to why so many expats go crazy and end up hating the place.

Chinese guys really have it bad. It is well known women demand their husbands to own a house and a car before they get married. Due to the prices of houses in China these days though it is impossible for a young man to buy a house unless his parents buy it for him. A house in Beijing costs as much as a house in a big city in America but the average income is far lower. If you are born a boy and you don't have parents that are willing and able to buy you a house when you become a young adult and are not one of the lucky few that ends up very handsome, you are f***ed, enjoy playing computer games for the rest of your life. Women have it so easy though, no matter what they look like they have their pick and obviously they will all pick the guy with the house and the car.
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Postby momopi » Tue Oct 22, 2013 4:49 pm

http://www.economist.com/blogs/freeexch ... age-market

http://www.economist.com/news/china/215 ... d-mortgage

"The burden of home-buying thus falls heavily on unmarried men. But it is no longer confined to them. Women and their families now contribute to their partner’s home purchases in 70% of cases, according to Horizon China’s research. They help out both because they must—couples have to pool their resources to afford coastal China’s pricey homes—and because they can. Young women are earning more and receiving more help from their parents, for whom they are often now the only child."
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Postby jtest28 » Sat Oct 26, 2013 2:49 pm

This is why I absolutely refuse to go to China to marry. Yeah, I probably could succeed, but at who's expense? You got it :x
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Postby Ghost » Sat Oct 26, 2013 3:29 pm

jtest28 wrote:This is why I absolutely refuse to go to China to marry. Yeah, I probably could succeed, but at who's expense? You got it :x


Yeah, I know I could find a girlfriend here and get married and have a family. But it would be more akin to slavery, perhaps something like a marriage to an American woman in the 1950s. The culture is warmer than American culture, but that's not saying much. I've noticed that the younger and more attractive a Chinese woman is, the less bitchy she is. Many are even very sweet. Ugly, older ones seem to be bitchy because...well, I guess because they either know they can't get a man or they already trapped a man. Factor in the pollution, the massive language barrier, and other problems and China may be good for some things, but D/S/R are not some of them.
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Postby xiongmao » Sat Oct 26, 2013 9:30 pm

I wouldn't worry too much about depriving a Chinese guy of a wife.

My experience of dating in China was that the ladies I dated were of such high social standing that they were never in a million years going to marry a poor peasant guy from the countryside.

My haul of dates included a millionaire, a senior buyer for a fashion company and a whole army of office ladies who were more at home in Starbucks than in a $1 noodle place.
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Postby ethan_sg » Sun Oct 27, 2013 7:27 am

All the guys here putting down China are likely butt ugly guys who would struggle getting decent women anywhere in the world unless they paid for it. The marriage rates in China are still much higher and divorce rates much lower than any developed country in Asia.

Chinese cities are filled with girls from both rural and urban origins who are going after the guys in the cities who are at least of middle class status, which almost every foreigner in China who's got at least an English teaching job would qualify for. Even foreign English teachers get 2 to 4 times more pay than what the average local graduate gets in China. Well there are not enough well-to-do men in China, proportionately speaking, yet the marriage rates are still comparatively high in China, which tells you that many men without a whole lot to their name are still getting married - and this I've seen with my own eyes. The whole gender disparity issue is overplayed by the Western Media and fails to look at the whole social demographic issue from a middle class male's perspective.

The guys who are having it tough in China are the local blue collared workers and those out in the countryside where there is a huge shortage of women. The shortage is because they have all moved to the cities and are chasing middle class status.

Also, because feminism has not infiltrated much into China yet, many Chinese women still feel a huge pressure to get married - they feel a familial, social and personal obligation and pressure to get married, and start to get really worried if they've hit 27 or 28 without finding a viable partner. There isn't that 'independent woman' vibe going around, spinsters are heavily looked down upon.

Yet there aren't enough wealthy men to go around. Statistics from 2012 show that there still less than 1 million millionaires in China. In a country of 1.4 billion people, this is well under 0.1% of the population. Now is anyone going to say that only 0.1% of males in China are getting married? Surely not. In fact the vast majority of males and females in China are still getting married, which means it can't be the case that Chinese women are only after money and that being able to afford a Beijing/Shanghai downtown apartment is a strict prerequisite.

With those demographics working so much in your favor, if you still can't get dates in China, either one of the following 2 applies: 1. You're just horrible with women and would struggle to get dates anywhere. You could be butt ugly (which is not your fault) or you could be extremely socially awkward (I say 'extremely' because I would say Chinese are far less judgmental and more accepting of eccentric personalities than your average western bitch) 2. You refuse to learn any Chinese and you're living in a city where hardly any Chinese girls can speak much English at all, in which case you should stop blaming the girls. Either put some effort into learning Chinese or move elsewhere where you can communicate with the girls.
Last edited by ethan_sg on Sun Oct 27, 2013 8:03 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Cornfed » Sun Oct 27, 2013 7:47 am

ethan_sg wrote: The guys who are having it tough in China are the local blue collared workers and those out in the countryside where there is a huge shortage of women. The shortage is because they have all moved to the cities and are chasing middle class status.

That is a huge problem in the modern world. Females move to big cities to be corporate whores and effective maids of the big shots. That is the essence of feminism. Everything else is just window dressing.
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Postby HouseMD » Sun Oct 27, 2013 11:32 am

Cornfed wrote:
ethan_sg wrote: The guys who are having it tough in China are the local blue collared workers and those out in the countryside where there is a huge shortage of women. The shortage is because they have all moved to the cities and are chasing middle class status.

That is a huge problem in the modern world. Females move to big cities to be corporate whores and effective maids of the big shots. That is the essence of feminism. Everything else is just window dressing.

Women have always chased wealth and status. Money and the first world illusion of power are the only reason many of us do so well abroad. I can agree that women sleeping with numerous wealthy men in the hopes of landing one coupled with the ease of moving from place to place has been the foundation of the downfall of modern marriage, however.
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