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Marriage market in Shanghai

Posted: November 13th, 2013, 1:20 am
by Bao3niang
I've heard that there is some sort of dating market in Shanghai that's located in one of the major parks. Basically parents (often against their children's will) go there to put up posters giving information about their child's height, weight, job, etc. However, success rates are extremely low. China, like other East Asian countries, is a very age conscious society where you HAVE to do certain things / be at a certain status at certain ages

Shanghai (CNN) -- Liu Jianle smiles as he spots a potential suitor for his recently divorced niece among a sea of white personal ads pegged to a board.

Pencil in hand, he jots down the man's details -- 33 years old, 1.7 meters tall (5 feet 7 inches), 140 pounds, a property owner, divorced but no kids.

The only wrinkle is that his salary is $800 a month, not high by Shanghai standards. No matter, says Liu, his niece has a good job.

Welcome to Shanghai's marriage market.

Watch this video

Matchmaking: Chinese style
Each weekend, mothers, fathers and, in Liu's case, concerned uncles, come to a sun-dappled corner of Shanghai's People's Park to find Mister or Miss Right for their children.

Some write posters by hand listing their offsprings' vital statistics -- height, age, income, education and their hukou or registered hometown -- and pin them to umbrellas or shopping bags. Others come with a notebook to see what is available.

Liu is a veteran. He found his son a wife here and they've been married for more than a year.

"She's 1.69 meters tall (5 feet 6 inches) and beautiful like a movie star," he says. "He was happy to get the introduction."

With young Chinese told to put education and work before finding love, many struggle to find boyfriends or girlfriends, a source of deep concern for their parents in a society which emphasizes the survival of the family line.

Worried family members are joined by professional matchmakers, who try to make a living from the unusual gathering.

The city even organizes an "annual love and marriage expo" to help young people find love that attracts 18,000.

"A lot of kids who were born after 1980, they don't have siblings. So they grow up in an environment where you don't have the experience to meet with people of the opposite sex," Song Li, the founder of an online dating service, told CNN at the event in May.

READ: China plays the dating game

The market has been around since 2004, says Li, who runs a professional matchmaking service from the park. With almost three times as many women looking for partners than men, it can be difficult to make a successful match.

Men can register for free, while she charges a fee of $500 for her female clients.

She also has an age limit; men born after 1970 can sign up, but women must be under 33.

"There's a shortage of superior men," she says by way of explanation.

READ: China's 'leftover women' choose to stay single

It's a similar story at Fan Dongfang's booth. He says he matches 20 to 30 people a year and brandishes a clutch of wedding invitations as if to prove it. He also has a glut of women on his books.

"There are too many leftover women in Shanghai," he says, using a popular term to describe an educated, single, urban women over the age of 27.

"Their standards are too high."

While the numbers stack up in favor of Chinese women -- according to the China Statistics Bureau, there are now 34 million more men than women in China -- this doesn't mean they will pair up easily.

READ: China's biggest problem? Too many men

Chinese men tend to "marry down" both in terms of age and educational level, observers say. Plus, many of China's unmarried men live in the countryside.

Distance is no obstacle to the parents' matchmaking ambitions, nor is their children's consent.

One mother displays a handwritten A4-sized poster in a clear plastic wallet seeking a match for her 36-year-old daughter, who works as an accountant in Toronto. The market has an "overseas corner" for parents who have children living abroad.

"I can't give you my name because my daughter doesn't know I'm doing this and I don't want her to find out," she says.

"I just want her to find someone with a stable job, who is tolerant and open-minded."

READ: Dating website makes money off infidelity in Asia

Additional reporting by CNN's Ivan Watson

Posted: November 13th, 2013, 4:32 am
by Ghost
China is getting to be a huge clusterfuck. Hypergamy is not only tolerated but encouraged in the culture. That is not to say that there are not good Chinese women - there are, of course, but good luck finding lasting happiness there. Being from the U.S. and now living/working in China, I think big countries are just generally not such great places to be.

China is trying to rise in the world and is actually accomplishing this. But at what price? Consider that a child is perpetually in school, always worried about grades. They don't have time to play and to relax. Then it's university, where the same study-study-study thing applies of course. Then it becomes about getting not just a job, but getting to be the "head of a company," or a doctor, or some other high status job. Ask a boy what he wants to be when he grows up, and he'll say CEO or just "rich." Ask a girl what she wants to be or do when she grows up and she'll say similar things OR that she wants to marry a rich guy.

Money, money, money. Busy, busy, busy.

Posted: November 13th, 2013, 4:54 am
by Bao3niang
Ghost, can I sum up what you just said in that paragraph?

My Summary: China is becoming more and more f-ed up with a combination of the repressive traditional Confucian mentality+American capitalism and materialism.

It's becoming the People's Republic of Misery.

Posted: November 13th, 2013, 3:41 pm
by Ghost
China is quickly becoming the new West. It's still better socially than the States, but that's not saying much. Everything is always business, money, and status. What will it get the Chinese people? Not much in the end I think. China has a lot of problems, many of which I did not realize before getting here. And you always have to consider the problems with fitting in there since foreigners are always outsiders.

Posted: November 15th, 2013, 5:29 am
by Bao3niang
We must stop Yankee Empire before its diseases spread and contaminate the entire world! I don't want my country of ancestry to fall into the hands of this new wave of cultural and media imperialism!