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Japan, Viabal dating pool?

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Japan, Viabal dating pool?

Postby magnum » Wed Nov 27, 2013 11:37 pm

I've been reading a lot about japan over the years and recently, Im thinking I want to relocate to japan at one point, I love the culture and the people that I've met, but the question remains, are dates easier than the U.S.A for men.


All I ever hear from guys who are 35 and younger is how ridiculously easy it is to get a date, you walk up and ask a girl out and your normally going to get a yes, or you'll get a yes and they might stand you up, but you'll get some kind of interaction and wont just be shot down.


Now, I've noticed a lot of guys on these forums have said it's a horrible place to date, but the culture indicates women still want to be a stay at home mom and be a mother to kids while the man works, ideal for a man looking for that kind of relationship and marriage.

Could be reaching here, but might it be that a lot of ex pats who've ventured to japan were over 35 or in late 30s early 40s and perhaps attempted to date younger women with the same expectation as Filipinos Thailand and china?

Not to mention I doubt a girl from Japan would date a over weight foreigner who's more than 5 years older, they tend to have close to American standers for that kind of thinking.


The work culture is really bad, I'll say I've read over and over again how they work work work as if it's the point of life.

I just read a post about how the "love hotels" in japan are now being used more frequently by lesbian couples, that they in fact even have "ladies day" because it seems men are losing interest in the women and are more interested in electronics work ect, this brings alarm, as any country where women are going lesbian is a sure sign of moral downfall.

My perspective is, a lot of this has to do with the way Japanese culture works, but I'm no expert on this.

We seem to have so few members that have experience with this, and I always read how "easy" Japanese girls are, but here I always hear they're just like girls from the U.S.A

It would seem of the girls age 15 - 60 the gender ratio is in favor of women not men, that's a negative, but with how it's easier to date in china even with the gender ratio far worse in china, I don't know that it even matters?
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Postby Ghost » Thu Nov 28, 2013 3:40 am

With all the herbivore men, it's probably easier than ever to get dates there. I might even spend a year there teaching ESL possibly, if only for that. If you really love the culture already, then why not give it a shot?
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Postby zboy1 » Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:30 am

Yeah, Japan would be an interesting place to teach English. Go for it, Magnum!
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Postby Cornfed » Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:58 am

zboy1 wrote:Yeah, Japan would be an interesting place to teach English. Go for it, Magnum!

He'd need a degree.
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Postby zboy1 » Thu Nov 28, 2013 8:21 am

Cornfed wrote:
zboy1 wrote:Yeah, Japan would be an interesting place to teach English. Go for it, Magnum!

He'd need a degree.


Oh, yeah. True....
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Postby zboy1 » Thu Nov 28, 2013 9:20 am

Cornfed wrote:
zboy1 wrote:Yeah, Japan would be an interesting place to teach English. Go for it, Magnum!

He'd need a degree.


You're such a downer, Cornfed, LOL. ...
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Postby Ghost » Thu Nov 28, 2013 3:20 pm

He can either fake a degree if truly desperate (I don't recommend this, however) or go to a place like China, saving money and doing online classes while working so he can eventually make the move.
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Postby magnum » Fri Nov 29, 2013 9:14 am

I thought about doing online classes while I teach English in china.

The problem is though I need a 4 year degree to get a working visa for japan.


I guess going when I'm old is better then never going at all...


Or alternatively, I can work 2 jobs here until I make 50k and use that money to study in a Japanse English college in japan.


Option one wont give me access to my country of choice for 4 years, but will get me out of the usa.

Option two will bind me to the usa for 1 to 2 years, but I'll get to educate my self debt free in a country of my choice.


I've had some of the awesome members here on HA give me information that would help me get a job in China, but I'm dead out of money and in 3400$ in debt from being sick, though I'm probably going to have no choice but let that go to collection and get a negative credit score.

I just want a hot girl who will treat me well while working for a reasonable return for my hours spent working.

sadly my ex was so hot I think I peaked on my first real girl friend, I've noticed I hardly see anyone as attractive as she was. I believe with my worth ethic in the gym and dicipline with nutrition I can remain fit enough to attract nice girls, but the irony of it is, it seems like asian women don't seem to care about that much, at least hardly in the same way.

I'll make a new post about that I think one day.
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Postby Bane » Fri Nov 29, 2013 2:09 pm

I have a lot of experience in Japan. I majored in Asian Studies with a focus on Japanese language and government, so I'd like to think I know what I'm talking about in this area.

The only certain things I can tell you are from what I experienced when I was there 12 years ago, along with the reports I hear from people who are there now. In addition, I can also give you some insight from my interactions with young Japanese people today.

I definitely think that dating in Japan was MUCH easier around 10-15 years ago than it is today. Back in 2001-2002, when I was there, you could be a slightly above average looking white man and be able pull MASSIVE amounts of tail. I myself was fortunate enough to have had a relatively large sampling of the local product during my stay, including one very headache inducing LTR which almost forced me to go completely MGTOW. Do not let the image of the docile, submissive Japanese woman cloud your mind, they are certainly not like that, especially today.

Nowadays, when speaking to a lot of young Japanese men, it seems like the women there have adopted a lot of the Western cultural attitudes that turn many of us off to American woman. They have become more spoiled, demanding, with bad attitudes. They have also adopted the unrealistic standards and expectations that Anglo women have. This is just one of many reasons why Japanese men have decided to become "grass eaters," basically Japan's version of MGTOW. They no longer want to deal with all of the hoops that women are forcing them to jump through, just to get a date. It's too much effort. From what I've heard, white men in Japan are finding it harder to land dates as well. Since Japan is flooded with western men now (walking down the streets of Tokyo, it looked like I was in Chicago, LOL), the competition from other white men is much stiffer and more fierce. Just being an 8/10 white guy isn't going to cut it anymore. You have to be better looking AND have some serious cred to your name. Unfortunately, it seems as though Japanese women have become Westernized.

I think that there was definitely a "golden age" to dating in Japan, which began about 1996-7, and ended in about 2004-5. I consider myself very fortunate to have been there during that golden age, as I was able to meet some amazing women and have VERY satisfying sex. Magnum, I wish you the best of luck in going to Japan to find a woman. Please keep in mind what I said, though. It will be a challenge, but don't give up on it so easily just because it doesn't come as easy as in a place like PI. Just go in with realistic expectations, and you should be fine. Learning the language is KEY, as women will respect you more if you try learning about their language and culture. Being white isn't the trump card that it once was, but there are some women who will still probably date you for the sheer novelty of it.
Last edited by Bane on Fri Nov 29, 2013 2:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Ghost » Fri Nov 29, 2013 2:16 pm

Whatever you want to do, the important thing is that you do it. Before I went abroad, I couldn't make up my mind. I'm not very happy with where I am in China right now, but I'm slowly exploring Asia. Being happier abroad isn't as easy (for most people) as going from A to B. It's starting at A, going to B, then traveling to C, figuring out D, E, F, G, and then arriving at H. If you don't make initial decisions, you may never, so don't neglect it.
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Postby xiongmao » Fri Nov 29, 2013 3:55 pm

If dating was so good in Japan, there wouldn't be any Japanese guys in Thailand :)

But seriously, I've been to Japan 4 times and dated a few Japanese women. It was hard there. The women are high quality, and they expect a lot from their man.

Also it's a horribly expensive place to go on dates. I went to one place, our date meal cost $60. Gah, that was just for 1 pizza, 1 cake and 3 drinks.

And remember few women there speak English. There's just not the interest in learning English that there once was.

And the harsh reality is that why date a 6 in Japan, when you'd be able to date a 9 in China?
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Postby magnum » Fri Nov 29, 2013 9:36 pm

Bane Xiongmao and Ghost answered my question or more less

Ghost is saying try it out

Bane and Xiongmao are saying it's just like America, and even if I do get a date it'll be with a girl who I wont happy with.


however I'd hope and imagine some of the non-major city parts of japan would still have a few hotties who have a good heart too, but I guess that be too thin of a chance.


After dating my ex whatever you'd call her she was better then a 6, I wont can't or refuse to date lower after that, could prove to perpetually keep me single.

I love Japanese culture and food too, but that country seems to be off access to me without a degree anyway, at least for a few years.

4 years of college to get a low paying jobs going to suck, I've gotta figure out how to study for that while working in china or something.
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Postby Bane » Fri Nov 29, 2013 9:58 pm

xiongmao wrote:
And the harsh reality is that why date a 6 in Japan, when you'd be able to date a 9 in China?


Agreed. It's still much easier to date attractive women in China than in Japan, although China itself is becoming more difficult as well.


Magnum, I'm not saying that Japan is "exactly" like the US. There are still a few women who will date you for the novelty of dating a white man, kinda like how a lot of white women here in the States date black guys, there's the "exotic" factor to the whole thing. (Disclaimer: I'm not saying ALL white women date black guys for this reason, it is only one of many) In Japan, you are still considered "exotic" to some of the women, although this is changing rapidly due to Westernization and the fact that LOTS more single Anglosphere men are showing up in Japan.
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Postby magnum » Sat Nov 30, 2013 12:00 am

Sorry I didn't mean to put words in your mouth Bane.

I'm just lost right now, I want to find a beautiful wife, but japan from what a lot of guys say here at least isn't the place to find that, I've read a lot of forum posts from other sources that hint at it being easier to find attractive young women to date in japan, but some of them are from 2 to 3 years ago, so I'd imagine it's hardly the same now.

I admit in japan it seems I might be stuck dating used up girls even if I managed to find a attractive one, and they'd probably be in the 25+ range, something I'm trying to avoid, seems the dating gap culture in japan isn't in favor of men.

Besides, I thought having dated my ex was just me getting lucky, but you'd have me believe I could pull another girl who's that attractive then I'll be more then happy to keep shopping in china.

it's not all abut looks, personality matters, I'm getting the feeling that the personalities of japanese girls are far better then chinese, but that could just be my limited experience tricking me.

if I did end up going to japan though, I'd attempt to go someplace that isn't a huge city and has less foreigners.
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Postby tre » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:38 am

Why not focus on how to get abroad (long-term legally) rather than focusing on where? I'm at the same point as you, although I'm quite a bit older. I have school ahead of me and debts to pay off. I'll be working at the same time that I'll be going to school. I lost my life savings and have to start over. You are in a much more favorable position than I am and 4 years of college won't kill you. Besides, things are changing rapidly all over the world so nailing down a specific place is likely a waste of time as you'll be changing your mind anyway. Just do what you have to in order to obtain that degree so that you can get over to Asia...legitimately.
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