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My Reflections On Life As A Chinese-Canadian in Beijing

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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My Reflections On Life As A Chinese-Canadian in Beijing

Postby Bao3niang » Sat Feb 01, 2014 2:52 pm

I returned to China and settled down in Beijing back in 2008, right before the Olympics started. This is my 6th year in Beijing, and although I can't say it is a place I would live in long term, overall it has been a fairly positive experience and I would prefer it 1000 times over any place in the dreaded Anglosphere.

I live in an area of Chaoyang District (largest district) called Wangjing, which has seen a lot of development in recent years. It is the most popular area of Beijing for Koreans. Wangjing is still a lot more quiet compared to the more downtown areas, but the traffic still drives me crazy on a regular basis. Oh well, nothing is perfect. If the motorbikes in Ho Chi Minh City are crazy enough, in Beijing it is a combination of cars, scooters/motorcycles, and rickshaws.

Now I will go into an overall summary of Beijing, both the good and the bad:

The Good Parts-

1. The food: You can easily find a wide variety of cuisines in Beijing, both Western and Asian. Compared to eating at those expensive restaurants, I prefer to eat at cafes and bars, smaller restaurants, and street vendors (although sometimes safety is still a concern). You can find Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Western, and even Middle Eastern eat-outs. Compared to the food in Vancouver, Beijing wins by several miles.

KFC, Pizza Hut, Macdonald's are ALL better in China, having many items on their menus that can't be found in the West. There is also a Chinese fast food chain called Yoshinoya (though the name sounds Japanese) that has AWESOME rice with beef. Dairy Queen in China also tastes better.


TIP: Don't eat the food at karaokes, I had some one time and ended up getting a stomach flu for a week.



2. The cinemas: Cinemas in China often have a MUCH better selection of films to watch compared to ones in Canada. Every time when there is a new movie it is an Asian or Western blockbuster. Another thing that makes movie theaters in Beijing great is that you can buy food and drinks directly using cash, whereas in Canada you have to get a coupon first. WHAT are Canadians thinking!? Another good thing about cinemas (and many other public places) is that if you are a student, it is automatically 50% off. I don't even have a local school student pass and they don't care, as long as I tell them I am studying.

TIP: If you try to buy tickets from those machines in the cinemas, they often malfunction which can piss you off. However I've had the same happen in Vancouver and Los Angeles.



3. Good selection of TV to watch: Unlike in America and Canada where people normally watch the same shit on a select few channels, Chinese television is full of variety. Each province has its own TV channel, along with CCTV, Tianjin TV, Shanghai TV, and Chongqing TV. Many channels specialize in certain types of programs, from fashion to documentaries and lifestyle. You can also get satellite TV installed.

TIP: Since 2011 the installation of a set-top box has become necessary in order to view the majority of channels. Without it, only a few will be available.



4. Plenty of historical sites and parks: Tiananmen Square, Great Wall, Yuanmingyuan, Summer Palace, all of these iconic Chinese historical sites are in Beijing. If you want to just relax and do some people watching, Beihai Park and Houhai are the best places. Houhai is the essence of Beijing's bar scene and nightlife. The hutongs are still peaceful, but the noisy metropolis is right outside them.

TIP: Don't go climb the Great Wall on a hot day! It's tougher than you think! I climbed it during the summer and suffered a heat stroke afterwards.


5. You don't have to endure long line-ups: In fact, if you do, you will hardly get ANYTHING done. I learned this at the cinema once. That was the debut for the movie "Red Cliffs", and there was a huge line. Had I not attempted to cut in line out of desperation, I would have ended up waiting 2 or 3 hours! Same applies to other public locations. If you don't try to cut in line, often people will just get ahead of you. In fact, having lived in Beijing for a couple years, I find it hard getting used to staying in line every time I have to go back to Vancouver.

TIP: Still try to cut in line as discreetly as possible.



6. Easy accessible to other parts of China: Well this is fairly obvious as it is the capital of China and a major international metropolis. You can basically fly to most other places in China from Beijing. Terminal 3 of the airport is very modern but way too crowded. They also have better food as well as shops in Terminal 3 than many airports in North America. They have a Sunrise Duty Free. Traditional Beijing foods and snacks are way overpriced though. I remember a pack of "ma hua" cost 60 RMB, while I believe 25-30 is more reasonable.



7. Good for international education: If you are a rich person that wants to dump money into an international education for your children, whether it be escaping the horrors of the local Chinese school system or simply because of the language barrier, there are plenty of international schools in Beijing. Most are expensive as hell though.
Universities have the slightly brighter side of things, with more and more international students studying in Beijing. One time in a cafe I met a 25 year-old Afghan woman who came to Beijing in her teenage years and is now pursuing post-graduate studies at Peking University. From what she has told me it isn't easier for foreigners and overseas Asians like me to get into the prestigious PKU, but I don't want to spend that much time on education anyways.



8. Good for business opportunities: The Chinese economy is growing at a rate of 7.7% per year, while America's is declining by 4-5% annually. This means if you are a high-end professional or diplomat, you will likely be deployed to Beijing or find a job fairly easily with the multitude of foreign companies in the city. Beijing is a fast-paced, very business oriented place that's heavily workaholic and Westernized like the Anglo world. Most of us guys here on HA would consider this bad, including me. However, if you are a conformist workaholic, Beijing is good for you.



9. Public transportation is A LOT easier to access and A LOT more common: In the Anglo world, if you do not own an automobile you are almost half crippled, or at least the people will find it somewhat weird. As having a car is still a luxury for many in Beijing, public transportation in the form of buses, taxis, and the subway is much more accessible and a lot more common. Or you could buy a scooter / motorcycle. Anyways, all of these is MUCH cheaper than a car.

For most males under age 30 in China, their income is not enough for them to own an automobile unless they have A) Rich family B) They are genius entrepreneurs C) They work their asses off. Even C often won't get you enough savings unless you work for a major company (and in a medium-high position)



10. The overall atmosphere is still better than the Anglo world: This really depends on where you are. Areas like the CBD (Central Business District) and Sanlitun are extremely consumerist and Westernized, to my extreme dislike. On the other hand you get smaller places where people are often sitting together, having a drink and engaging in conversation with each other. I've seen a few writer, artist, and intellectual types in the cafes, although they are still quite cliquish. Overall, the sense of harmony and the bond between people is still MUCH stronger than the West.






The Bad:

1. The air pollution: Often reaching up to potentially life threatening levels (albeit long term), the air pollution is one of the primary reasons why I am NOT staying in Beijing for much longer. One time on a cold night (it was almost 10 PM), I was returning home after watching a movie with a friend. The smog that night made me cough and choke, and if it were not for the mask that my buddy gave me to wear before we said goodbye, I would have likely collapsed on the street. China's factories still very much run on coal, contributing to a large part of the pollution, added with the sheer amount of automobiles. My British friend of mine is already planning on leaving Beijing with his son and heading for Southeast Asia.


2. Extremely slow internet+internet censorship: YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter are STILL blocked. Many access these sites using proxies and VPNs (government can't control), but the speed of these programs is dependent on the local internet. The internet speed in Beijing makes me cry at times. Perhaps it is due to a combination of too many people using it at once along with China Telecom being an extremely crappy ISP.
If your wi-fi is broken, the people that fix it often take a long time to arrive and aren't the smartest when it comes to solving problems.



3. Foreigners in Beijing are involved in gang activity: Foreign gangs in Beijing are often found in the Sanlitun area, making that place quite dangerous at night. Such is the behavior of many foreigners in Beijing. Sanlitun is like a mini South Side Chicago. I've seen American and British gangs in the Houhai area. Well maybe not so surprising as the nightlife of Beijing is centered there.





4. Bug infestations in apartments: Chances are that if you live in an apartment that's at least 7 or 8 years old, you will have a date (countless dates for me) with the roaches. Where I used to live in Beijing was infested with cockroaches. At first they scared the crap out of me (and still do), but I was able to somewhat recover my bug phobia and began killing them by drowning them with water.




5. Public washrooms: Even at the airport the washrooms are very dirty and smelly. What's annoying is that many washrooms in China don't have sit-down toilets, only ones where you have to crouch. Also many people drop cigarettes in the toilets and don't even flush. Very gross.



6. Crappy weather: Biggest problem throughout the year is it's too dry. I wake up getting nosebleeds. and having chapped lips. It gets to 40+ in the summer and -10 in the winter, extremely unpredictable. Add crappy weather with the air pollution it is torture.



7. Extremely workaholic / studyaholic society:

Identical to the Anglo world, the 2nd part upgraded. The people in Beijing (both Chinese AND expats, the latter to a lesser extent) work their asses off 24/7. Every time I ask a Chinese person in his or her's 20s or 30s what their goals and objectives in life are, it is always something along the lines of: "Work hard for myself, my family and my future." Even the white collar class that makes quite a bit of money still give this answer. If I mention anything related to art, philosophy, and spiritual matters most won't be interested at all or pretend to listen at first, then tell me these things are useless. They love to work overtime not always due to needing the money, but more often because they simply have nothing else to do in their daily lives AND are sheep-like conformists seeing a relaxed lifestyle as being condemned. There is even a term in China called "工作治疗“ (gong zuo zhi liao), which refers to working your ass off trying to forget about a broken relationship or to compensate for the emptiness in your life. People would rather be like this, acknowledging that work makes them really stressed and miserable, yet unwilling to face the reality of their intellectual/spiritual emptiness, the root of their workaholism.

Another cause of this is the lack of spiritual faith in most Chinese people. Going to temples and praying to ancestors is A) Satanic B) Followed as tradition, not as real faith that shapes identity and worldview. Many claim to be Buddhists, but in fact what they follow is a pseudo-religion combining Buddhism, Confucianism, Chinese folk religion (ancestor worship), and of course, money. As someone who has studied real Buddhism, it is NOTHING related to all this crap. Real Buddhism is about personal enlightenment and meditation, not giving your money to temples, praying to statues, worshiping dead people, and so on. Unfortunately this kind of pseudo-religion has spread throughout the Sino/Confucian sphere of influence. Since this kind of stuff is not powerful enough to give a real worldview, most Chinese have a hard time seeing themselves as unique individuals. On the other hand, my strongly personal faith in a personal God gives me confidence and assurance that I am unique and made in His image.

China's education system is a shithole. My friends hardly have time to hang out with me, as they are always at school, tutoring, in some sort of extracurricular activity, or reviewing at home with their mobile phones locked away by their moms and dads. I think most of you are familiar at the intense pressure of Chinese students. Once they enter middle school, they have review classes at school after their normal schooling hours and often don't go home until 10 or 11 PM. Most Chinese students are programmed to think that being a student is their primary objective at their stage in life, and deviating from it is unthinkable. They are taught that studying hard is an honor for their clan. Studying part is an important part of filial piety. Due to so much pressure from studying, Chinese students often don't have a real intellectual side. Yes they go out with friends, watch movies, play video games etc. but aside from these things you can't really engage in real conversation with them. Many think I am weird for having so many opinions rather than just going with the flow. My friends who go to local schools may watch a movie with me and eat a meal with me, but I can't talk about anything deep with them as they are more occupied with studying, gossip, gaming, and chat programs. No different from Anglo teenagers plus the studying part.

Chinese teenagers basically have the same look in their eyes. This is especially evident in the boys. My eyes look very different from typical East Asians. It's not because I have mixed ancestry, it is an outward reflection of my inner state that's much more free and independent yet cooler and more detached than most other Chinese and Asians. Like most of the people in Beijing I do get heated up quickly when my mentality is challenged, and I also admit that I am judgmental, but my logical and holistic way of seeing things is totally incompatible with the practical and detail oriented mentality of most people in Beijing.

I easily get worn out by life in a big metropolis, and Beijing is a conformist, repressive hell where I don't really click along with the people. If I were a workaholic and business/career oriented person, I have little doubt that the opportunities in Beijing would be great for me. However, as a carefree and expressive individual, living long term in Beijing is slow mental AND physical suicide.



8. The traffic in Beijing is life threatening.

You have motorbikes in Ho Chi Minh City, I've heard. What if you have automobiles, scooters, motorcycles, buses, and rickshaws all coming your way at the same time? This is Beijing traffic. Terrible traffic jams and sometimes even gridlock. Traffic restricting / environmental policies based on license plates have barely any effect, as many people own 2 or even 3 automobiles. I don't dare to cross the road unless I see other people do so before me or trying to cross with me.



9. The sewage system sucks.

Often when you walk around Beijing a smell of feces suddenly fills the air. This is caused by the poor and often stuck sewage system. It comes from a combination of garbage, excretion, and chemicals. I feel sick when smelling it.




10. Most expats in Beijing are pretty dumb.

While there are a few examples of expats (like my UK friend and mentor David) that love Chinese culture or have already fully integrated into Chinese culture, most expats in Beijing are the narrow-minded and bitchy type that just rant all day. Well, the majority are in Beijing for work and business, not even for adventure and experiencing China. They are also extremely racist, especially the American and British ones. I mean like WTF, if you are going to be racist, WHY bother coming to China when you can avoid having to see Chinese people all day and make a higher income in your own developed Anglo shithole nation? However, the ones that actually ENJOY China love the women or are happily married to Chinese women. :)






11. AND NOW....... THE PART YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR...... THE WOMEN.......


Very few people in Beijing are actually real Beijingers, by which I mean born and raised in Beijing with Beijing ancestry. Beijing is a migrant city.

Whether these girls are born in Beijing, grew up in Beijing, or migrated to Beijing, Beijing women (by the larger definition) are absolutely the most Westernized, entitled, demanding, shallow, materialistic, and bitchiest women in China just like Shanghai.

Girls from smaller, less Westernized parts of China that come to Beijing quickly have their good and authentic qualities ruined. They either can't fight against it or don't make an effort to fight against it, as they just think about the higher salary in Beijing compared to their hometowns.

The younger girls are HEAVILY Americanized / Koreanized, social media, pop culture and gossip addicted types. I am disgusted by the sight of a bunch of spoiled girls giggling together, sharing a bunch of meaningless crap with each other or laughing at something on their phones. This kind of behavior is increasingly seen in the 23+ age group. Chinese women in Beijing go GAGA over white and Korean celebrities. I especially CANNOT tolerate their obsession over Korean actors and pop groups. Like f**k they don't even care if these "flower males" spent millions and billions on plastic surgery. To them, who cares? Extremely childish and immature. One time I went to a Chinese high school and I saw this girl's locker that was covered with pictures of Korean celebrities.

You may expect the 25+ white collar women to be more wise and more intellectual, but often that is not the case. They are JUST as addicted to gaming and social media as their younger counterparts. Sending useless stuff and selfies in QQ Space or WeChat all day (WeChat more in recent years), like "Wow! I got a new high score in this game!". "Wow! Look at how cute this is!". "Do I look pretty?" This sort of shit. Wearing glasses without lens? Oh crap. iPhones and iPads are seen as things to show off.

My casual date with a 21 year old Chinese woman from Henan but worked in Beijing made me pissed because she and her friend that decided to tag along (which I made the mistake of allowing) just KEPT playing Beats Master on their phones when we were sitting at the cafe. They woudln't even initiate conversation with me as friends!

Now, back to the 25+ white collar class women in Beijing. Extremely demanding, bitchy, feminist. Again, you may expect that these older women are more settled and just want a nice man, but that's far from true. Of course there are still rare cases of decent white collar women in China that just want a nice man but can't find one due to most Chinese men fearing success in women, but these ones are certainly not in Beijing or Shanghai.

Check this link and you will know how older women in Beijing are extremely demanding:


http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/MDTR8cwekkU/


So you see older does not equal more wise.


Beijing gals have a reputation in China for having Princess syndrome along with Shanghai women. Don't look for a woman in Beijing! Unless you are lucky to have found one that just arrived from a smaller part of China.

When I still had my part-time job as a TA at an English school before I was replaced by a white guy, I worked with 3 25+ Beijing bitches that constantly messed around with the relaxed way I was doing things AS WELL AS gossiping+fighting with each other. All 3 were single, and one time I heard the 3 of them discussing about men. The content of their discussion made me cover my ears.



11. Finally, extremely racist ESL industry.

How does it feel to be discriminated as an Asian in Asia? If you look into the Chinese way of thinking, being white=Anglo, even though in reality you speak with a thick European accent. Parents think the 1st language of all white people is English. Stupid assholes. They think Asians and blacks can't speak proper English. A white bum that smokes and drinks almost immediately gets the job, while an Asian,Black, or Hispanic-American/Canadian that's highly qualified and has proper TEFL/TESOL certification may not be taken too seriously. Blacks maybe more than Asians and Hispanics (though I've only seen 1 Hispanic-American teaching English in Beijing).

The English center that offered me the part-time job told me they picked me because of my "dedication and preseverance" in keep going to visit them and check on them, which really meant "we have no choice, we don't want you to damage our reputation as being difficult, we don't want to upset you, so we will keep you around for a while until a white guy comes along AND we will just tell you you are fired in an indirect way." And that's EXACTLY what happened to me.

If you look at ads for English schools in Beijing (and other parts of China), the teacher that appears in the ads is 99.5% likely to be white/Caucasian. Again this all goes back to the wrong and f***ed up assumption by many Chinese parents that white=from an English speaking country.

Besides, most English teachers in China fall under the dumb/narrow-minded expat category.




Anyways, these are my thoughts on my life in Beijing. I will be leaving Beijing pretty soon, and once my real HA experience takes off, I doubt I will return for many years, if at all. However, as bad as it can get, it's still way above anywhere in the Anglo Five.
CYKA BLYAT!!!!!!
Bao3niang
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Re: My Reflections On Life As A Chinese-Canadian in Beijing

Postby Lust » Sun Feb 02, 2014 5:48 am

Increasingly modernized and yet, at least when I visited a few years ago, many of the women still don't shave their armpits. Was walking behind this stunner who was wearing a dress, until she lifted her arms up and I noped the f**k out of there :lol:

How easy have you found it to meet/pick up women as a CBC? How are you liking the dating scene in general?
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Postby Bao3niang » Sun Feb 02, 2014 6:43 am

The dating scene is extremely difficult to get into. As I mentioned about how bitchy the women in Beijing are, I've never scored a proper date. First of all, if you are younger than the women, forget it. If you don't have career or money-making potential / already materially well-off, forget it. Many women from other parts of China (excluding Shanghai) become materialistic and hope to score a rich husband or boyfriend once they get settled in Beijing.

“海归â€￾ (hai gui) is a term referring to successful and well-educated Chinese men that have returned to China to pursue careers after graduating from universities in Anglo and sometimes European countries. They may or may not have foreign citizenship, but many do. I would fall more under the "华侨“ (hua qiao category), or overseas Chinese with foreign citizenship.

Overseas Chinese and "hai gui" actually do quite well in the Beijing dating scene, IF they fit the common assumption of being well-educated and successful along with being handsome and high class. As for me, I don't have an education, don't have the mind to make a lot of money nor do I care, and although my family is quite well off I don't see myself as having any sort of status NOR do I go around using status to present myself. Although some say I do look handsome, I think I'm just an average and slightly geeky dude. I don't really care about dress, and in fact I hate formal dress.

So the beliefs that many Beijing women have about Chinese men who grew up or were educated overseas does not fit me at all. I'm far from the image of the overseas Chinese man that works for a large multinational corporation / owns a large business, drives a luxury car, lives well, and dresses in a suit and tie. Failing to fit these stereotypes, the picky and demanding gals in Beijing could care less about me and see me on the same level as a lower class local Chinese male, finding it strange that my mentality is not in sync with the East Asian mentality either.

To succeed in the Beijing dating scene, you need to be one of these types:

(A) Native Chinese male (2 extremes: Either extremely bad boy/jerk like OR a total sissy, in the end, Beijing women want a man to be both)

(B) Overseas born/educated Chinese male with status, education, looks, and money

(C) Caucasian foreigner (preferably with a high income job in China)


I fall into the N-T-A (non-traditional Asian) category, which isn't even looked at. Everything is working against me. Like Winston when he was in Taiwan, people think my mentality is Western and unacceptable yet I have Asian features. Neither a foreigner nor fully Chinese in Beijing.


Very hard to even ask a woman out in Beijing because chances are they will always be busy working or are already judging you to be unworthy of their time even before anything takes place. Most women only go for (A) and (B), with an increasing number going for (C).

Beijing women's looks dull in comparison to southern Chinese females from Chongqing, Hunan, Jiangsu, etc. Coupled with the fact that they are the most Westernized along with Shanghai women makes them unattractive to me. Southern Chinese and Vietnamese women trample over Beijing gals.

Hell, even women from other parts of China that come to Beijing to work and study quickly become exactly the same as Beijing women. I was once attracted to a 20 year-old university student from Hangzhou that was studying Business in college. Her dad was a minor official of the Chinese government, and her mom owned a business back in Hangzhou.

I offered to take her out for lunch, and at first she agreed, but then she went back to Hangzhou to see her family. When I brought up the subject again and set a date after she was back in Beijing, she began acting hesitant and cold towards me. I confronted her one-on-one and asked her what was happening, and she told me that age was a problem (me 17, her 20) AND most importantly, she was seeing a type (B). She told me a few details of this guy:

-26 years old

-Also from Zhejiang province

-Studied 4 years in the US, 2 years in the UK

-Handsome, rich, served in the army

-Family owns a resort


I wasn't actually that heartbroken, I just took it that her family and this guy's family wanted a strategic alliance. Businessman+Politican is a mutually beneficial combination. She told me she wanted the finer things in life, and I was especially offended by the fact that she said I lacked "sophistication", "intelligence", and too "middle class."


Once again, Beijing, like the Anglo Five, is good for work and business, NOT for dating and living life.
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Postby Ghost » Sun Feb 02, 2014 9:33 am

This is a really good assessment. I've just gotten back from Beijing. At least it is better than third-tier city China. I think China's culture is screwed up, and I'm not looking to change it. I just want out. I think it is worth trying out, and is certainly easy to get into, but there's not much happiness here. Happiness in China means studying eternally, working your ass off for no particular reason, pursuing a better car, better apartment on the rich side of town, and looking for a new $400 handbag or dress or whatever. It's really not that much different from the U.S. Just change the language and the food (and make it cleaner) and a lot of China would look like the U.S. The women are better, but the culture is not compatible with Western culture. And it seems like a lot of Westerners end up deeply unhappy if they marry Chinese women.
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Postby Bao3niang » Sun Feb 02, 2014 9:44 am

Why would they end up deeply unhappy if they marry Chinese women? I think if a Westerner stays in China and gets a local / native Chinese woman, it can work out very well.
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Postby Ghost » Sun Feb 02, 2014 10:00 pm

Bao3niang wrote:Why would they end up deeply unhappy if they marry Chinese women? I think if a Westerner stays in China and gets a local / native Chinese woman, it can work out very well.


Chinese women like to nag. It looks like it is ingrained in the culture. While a Chinese man probably has ways of dealing with this, I doubt a Western man would be able to contend with it very well. I certainly don't want it. I think the best option in regards to Chinese women would be to find one and then take her to some other country (not anglo countries, of course.) And then train her to relax, teaching her that there is more to life than studying, working, and seeking a new handbag from some European brand.

Maybe it is just worse where I am, but China seems to be fairly uniform in this.
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Postby Bao3niang » Mon Feb 03, 2014 1:35 am

I have noticed something in Anglo women. As an 18 year old guy, if I tried to get close to an Anglo woman that is just 20 or 21 (just 2-3 years older than me) and getting to know her, I am commonly met with "Ewwww! Stay away from me creep!" or "Gross! You are so young!" This applies to Anglo / Westernized women of all races.

On the other hand, 20+ Asian women (Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipinas) chat with me very freely and rarely have this kind of behavior. They may mention age at first, but once you really get to know them they will slowly not care so much.
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Postby Lust » Mon Feb 03, 2014 4:32 am

Baoniang, to be honest, it's pretty natural for women to want men who are rich/handsome/driven/have potential. People want to find partners with positive traits. For men, that means we want attractive women.

Anyways getting back on track, you have a leg up on native Chinese--your foreign citizenship. People in China are pretty desperate to get out of the country these days. They have a very favorable view of American and other Western countries. As long as you present yourself right (motivated and interesting), meeting and dating new girls in China shouldn't be too hard for you. Granted, some of them might be visa diggers.

If you really like older women that much, just say you're 20.
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Postby Mr Natural » Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:48 pm

Ghost wrote:Chinese women like to nag.


Especially about how you aren't living up to your potential (financially of course), which they have a habit of inflating. Why aren't you doing this or doing that, why do the neighbors have ... but we don't? The expectation is that you will work your ass off and be successful, and if you don't you will constantly hear about it. Now most of them will help you achieve that success, if you have a type A personality then you will probably never find a better partner. But you better get it done ..... or have a very very strong personality to deal with the bitching. I like em physically, some of them are just awesome physically. But if I wanted a nagging bitch fest I could find that in the USA. No thanks.
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Postby Richardrli » Thu Feb 13, 2014 10:41 am

Bao3niang, do you notice any differences between Beijing and Shanghai women? Granted that they're just about all shallow materialistic bitchy types.
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Postby Ghost » Thu Feb 13, 2014 11:44 am

Mr Natural wrote:
Ghost wrote:Chinese women like to nag.


Especially about how you aren't living up to your potential (financially of course), which they have a habit of inflating. Why aren't you doing this or doing that, why do the neighbors have ... but we don't? The expectation is that you will work your a** off and be successful, and if you don't you will constantly hear about it. Now most of them will help you achieve that success, if you have a type A personality then you will probably never find a better partner. But you better get it done ..... or have a very very strong personality to deal with the bitching. I like em physically, some of them are just awesome physically. But if I wanted a nagging bitch fest I could find that in the USA. No thanks.


Yeah, in that sense Chinese women are even worse than WW. And that's saying something! Chinese women are very hot though, and I finally realized how to get responses from CW on dating sites: just mention that you are a hard worker and have high financial aspirations, that you are educated, and that you are serious about marriage to a CW...they'll be all over you.
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Postby ladislav » Sat Feb 15, 2014 6:19 pm

the teacher that appears in the ads is 99.5% likely to be white/Caucasian. Again this all goes back to the wrong and f***ed up assumption by many Chinese parents that white=from an English speaking country.


Et tu Brute- even the Chinese think that? Don't they know that Russia- their neighbor does not speak English?

I think what they want is someone that looks like the gweilo on TV. They just finished watching some Hollywood movie and they want a teacher who looks like Bruce Willis to teach them.

Schools run by immigrants in CA go a step further. They want native born people only. So if you came from another country at age 1, you are not American to them. They even have job applications where birth place must indicated-illegal actually- to show the parents that the white person is a true American. They quickly learn the American " Where you originally from?" which indicates true and blue American-ness. So, those with thick European accents need not apply in CA.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
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Postby Ghost » Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:23 pm

ladislav wrote:
the teacher that appears in the ads is 99.5% likely to be white/Caucasian. Again this all goes back to the wrong and f***ed up assumption by many Chinese parents that white=from an English speaking country.


Et tu Brute- even the Chinese think that? Don't they know that Russia- their neighbor does not speak English?

I think what they want is someone that looks like the gweilo on TV. They just finished watching some Hollywood movie and they want a teacher who looks like Bruce Willis to teach them.

Schools run by immigrants in CA go a step further. They want native born people only. So if you came from another country at age 1, you are not American to them. They even have job applications where birth place must indicated-illegal actually- to show the parents that the white person is a true American. They quickly learn the American " Where you originally from?" which indicates true and blue American-ness. So, those with thick European accents need not apply in CA.


The most important quality is attractiveness to the shallow Chinese mind. It's all just a ruthless obsession with status to them. Having their kids actually learn something doesn't matter to them. After all, since they are rich, they can just buy their kids good grades and even degrees.
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Postby Bao3niang » Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:46 am

The wealthy Chinese people have amounts of money that would be unimaginable for 90% of people in the Anglo Five. In Canada and the USA you hardly see anyone that lives in a big mansion and hires a driver, but this is the norm for millionaires and billionaires in major Chinese cities.


Like the French expat mentioned in his article, urban Chinese women spend money in the blink of an eye, and consume at a rate (and price) that's beyond what the majority of European women can even imagine.

I am extremely depressed by the shallowness of modern Chinese culture. If you watch Chinese romance movies, almost none of them in recent years depict old-fashioned romance. Instead, it glorifies city life and the concept of "game." That's why so many are set in Beijing or Shanghai where the men are total jerks and the women are bitchy as heck.

Beijing is cool to live in for a while, but not for long-term living and dating. Same applies to Shanghai. There are still quite a few beautiful women in Chongqing, but many say that the quality of women in Chongqing is decreasing (looks or other factors included?). It's only a matter of time before the Anglo way completely takes over all the 1st tier cities in China.

What breaks my day is when I hear Chinese people talking about immigration to the Anglo world. They think everything is all rosy in these 5 nations. I've tried dissuading a few by telling them how much everything sucks, but most go for education or already have a family so they won't give a darn about what I say.
CYKA BLYAT!!!!!!
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Postby Anthropolonerd » Mon Feb 17, 2014 1:23 am

Mr Natural wrote:
Ghost wrote:Chinese women like to nag.


Especially about how you aren't living up to your potential (financially of course), which they have a habit of inflating. Why aren't you doing this or doing that, why do the neighbors have ... but we don't? The expectation is that you will work your a** off and be successful, and if you don't you will constantly hear about it. Now most of them will help you achieve that success, if you have a type A personality then you will probably never find a better partner. But you better get it done ..... or have a very very strong personality to deal with the bitching. I like em physically, some of them are just awesome physically. But if I wanted a nagging bitch fest I could find that in the USA. No thanks.


Sounds just like what I need tbh. I'm reasonably intelligent, independent and I like to work. But I'm just so effing lazy it's not even funny. I'm not in a good place right now, mentally, where I can really focus on my work and a lot of that is due to being unhappy with my overall lifestyle, and with the culture of where I live. I wouldn't mind having a girl who nagged at me when I am being lazy (and rewarded me when I'm not).

Sounds a lot better than the "I like you for who you are and I don't care if you are lazy" type of girls I've had. I couldn't stand that shit. I'd be hating myself and she would just never criticize me. I need to be pushed. Of course the knife cuts on both ends, because I also start complaining if they let up on their appearance (don't wear makeup, getting too chubby etc). Anyway that all leads to a lot of friction because most can't take any critique and won't dish out any either. I f***ing hate it.

Incidentally the one who hated critique the most was ethnically Chinese (but US-born).

Edit: Additional realization. Really, my personality is not good for this environment. Back when I was 14-18 I made a lot of money (business) because my mother was nagging at me (implicitly, and I also wanted to leave home badly)... Once I got my house in order (literally) my motivation just plummeted. I don't feel like there is any more to achieve even though there clearly is. This (Dutch) society really doesn't encourage excellence or being better than the rest in any form any I suspect I may be much more conforming than I'd like to be. In fact once you are that, most people will like you even less. Furthermore, if you fail, the government is there to give you a nice paycheck for free. There really is no rationally valid (and then, for me, also no emotional) reason to really do anything above the bear necessities (I love that song).

To me, it's all stick and no carrot.
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