Happier Abroad Forum Community

MrMan wrote:

If you go there and want to find a wife, you could meet some couples where an Indonesian woman is married to an expat man. Then you could ask the wife if she had any friends who'd asked her if she knew any white men who wanted to get married. That may be a way of finding a date. My wife had women ask her that quite a bit. "How did you find your husband? How do you marry a man like that?" They don't ask her that here in the US. But back when I was young living there, she'd probably be asked that several times a year.

I also got the impression that some of the women who went to English-speaking church services would have been interested in a Christian foreigner for a husband. Lots of young women would ask me how my week was before or after church back when I was single. The could have been being friendly.

Haha no they weren't just being friendly. They were being... you know... FRIENDLY.


So there are two great takeaways.
(1) English-language church services, and
(2) networking with mixed couples.

Thanks!



PS
Re polygamy there, too bad, seems like it is accepted but unusual. From what I have heard, and saw in one art film, this is what Iran would be like also. Tolerated, but something the first wife has to deal with in one way or another. Quite different from Black Africa, where polygamy is admired.

Jester wrote: Re polygamy there, too bad, seems like it is accepted but unusual. From what I have heard, and saw in one art film, this is what Iran would be like also. Tolerated, but something the first wife has to deal with in one way or another. Quite different from Black Africa, where polygamy is admired.

I wouldn't go so far as to say it is accepted. I think it's counter-cultural, something people, especially women, do not like. But Muslims kind of have to acknowledge that it's not wrong since it's part of their religion, though not really a part of their culture. I don't think the Muslim women I knew would have gone for something like that if they could help it. Christians don't usually accept it. The uncle I told you about was kicked out of his church.

Btw, you aren't looking for a few sister-wives are ya?

I've gotten some positive feedback from my posts, which I appreciate. Do these forums have a lot of men who are actually wife-hunting, looking for a good quality woman? I noticed one post from a man who said to go to the Philippines and have sex with online chat girlfriends. That's a different set of goals than what I was addressing.

No matter where you find a woman, a woman is a woman. Women get upset over stuff at times. There can be drama at times. They have emotional needs, want to talk when you want to work on something, do a hobby, or sleep, and all that kind of stuff. But I do think Indonesian women tend to have more realistic expectations for marriage than American women tend to have.

If you do meet a woman and get to know her and think about marriage, you should discuss her ideas of a husband's role, a wife's role, her beliefs about divorce, how to treat parents, how many kids you want, etc.

If you marry an Indonesian woman, just count on the fact that she wants kids. Unless she's sterile or had kids already, just count on having kids. If she says she doesn't want kids, treat it as her right to change her mind. Her culture tells her to have a child the first year of marriage.

I've gotten some positive feedback from my posts, which I appreciate. Do these forums have a lot of men who are actually wife-hunting, looking for a good quality woman? I noticed one post from a man who said to go to the Philippines and have sex with online chat girlfriends. That's a different set of goals than what I was addressing.

No matter where you find a woman, a woman is a woman. Women get upset over stuff at times. There can be drama at times. They have emotional needs, want to talk when you want to work on something, do a hobby, or sleep, and all that kind of stuff. But I do think Indonesian women tend to have more realistic expectations for marriage than American women tend to have.

If you do meet a woman and get to know her and think about marriage, you should discuss her ideas of a husband's role, a wife's role, her beliefs about divorce, how to treat parents, how many kids you want, etc.

If you marry an Indonesian woman, just count on the fact that she wants kids. Unless she's sterile or had kids already, just count on having kids. If she says she doesn't want kids, treat it as her right to change her mind. Her culture tells her to have a child the first year of marriage.

I've gotten some positive feedback from my posts, which I appreciate. Do these forums have a lot of men who are actually wife-hunting, looking for a good quality woman? I noticed one post from a man who said to go to the Philippines and have sex with online chat girlfriends. That's a different set of goals than what I was addressing.

No matter where you find a woman, a woman is a woman. Women get upset over stuff at times. There can be drama at times. They have emotional needs, want to talk when you want to work on something, do a hobby, or sleep, and all that kind of stuff. But I do think Indonesian women tend to have more realistic expectations for marriage than American women tend to have.

If you do meet a woman and get to know her and think about marriage, you should discuss her ideas of a husband's role, a wife's role, her beliefs about divorce, how to treat parents, how many kids you want, etc.

If you marry an Indonesian woman, just count on the fact that she wants kids. Unless she's sterile or had kids already, just count on having kids. If she says she doesn't want kids, treat it as her right to change her mind. Her culture tells her to have a child the first year of marriage.

MrMan wrote:I've gotten some positive feedback from my posts, which I appreciate. Do these forums have a lot of men who are actually wife-hunting, looking for a good quality woman? I noticed one post from a man who said to go to the Philippines and have sex with online chat girlfriends. That's a different set of goals than what I was addressing.

No matter where you find a woman, a woman is a woman. Women get upset over stuff at times. There can be drama at times. They have emotional needs, want to talk when you want to work on something, do a hobby, or sleep, and all that kind of stuff. But I do think Indonesian women tend to have more realistic expectations for marriage than American women tend to have.

If you do meet a woman and get to know her and think about marriage, you should discuss her ideas of a husband's role, a wife's role, her beliefs about divorce, how to treat parents, how many kids you want, etc.

If you marry an Indonesian woman, just count on the fact that she wants kids. Unless she's sterile or had kids already, just count on having kids. If she says she doesn't want kids, treat it as her right to change her mind. Her culture tells her to have a child the first year of marriage.

Unfortunately, most of the people here are either PUAs, mongers or sex tourists (sickening...smh!); only a small percentage of members like me, Baoning, Ghost and Magnum want to find a good wife.

The rest of the HA members, (such as OutWest, Yohan, Pete, Davewe, publicduende, etc.), already are married, and therefore have a wealth-of-knowledge of the world; as a result, they are respected members of the forum. (I certainly respect them much more than some of the disgusting, monger-types on this forum.)

MrMan wrote:
Btw, you aren't looking for a few sister-wives are ya?

Yeah.

Jester wrote:

MrMan wrote:
Btw, you aren't looking for a few sister-wives are ya?

Yeah.

Well, do me a favor then and stay away from the English speaking church services, then.

Indonesian Muslims don't even usually go for that.

Any port in a storm.

zboy1 wrote:

MrMan wrote:I've gotten some positive feedback from my posts, which I appreciate. Do these forums have a lot of men who are actually wife-hunting, looking for a good quality woman? I noticed one post from a man who said to go to the Philippines and have sex with online chat girlfriends. That's a different set of goals than what I was addressing.

No matter where you find a woman, a woman is a woman. Women get upset over stuff at times. There can be drama at times. They have emotional needs, want to talk when you want to work on something, do a hobby, or sleep, and all that kind of stuff. But I do think Indonesian women tend to have more realistic expectations for marriage than American women tend to have.

If you do meet a woman and get to know her and think about marriage, you should discuss her ideas of a husband's role, a wife's role, her beliefs about divorce, how to treat parents, how many kids you want, etc.

If you marry an Indonesian woman, just count on the fact that she wants kids. Unless she's sterile or had kids already, just count on having kids. If she says she doesn't want kids, treat it as her right to change her mind. Her culture tells her to have a child the first year of marriage.

Unfortunately, most of the people here are either PUAs, mongers or sex tourists (sickening...smh!); only a small percentage of members like me, Baoning, Ghost and Magnum want to find a good wife.

The rest of the HA members, (such as OutWest, Yohan, Pete, Davewe, publicduende, etc.), already are married, and therefore have a wealth-of-knowledge of the world; as a result, they are respected members of the forum. (I certainly respect them much more than some of the disgusting, monger-types on this forum.)

Mongering is not disgusting. Leaving a trail of destruction while you are mongering (or f.ucking up non-pro FW in their minds whom don't deserve it) is detriMENTAL. W.hores are meant to be exploited that way. It isn't like most mongers are pimping their w.hores out.

I am "PAONPFW" *i.e. PolyAmorous Of Non-Pro Foreign Women* which means I have girlfriends or permanent FWiB's (female Friends With Benefits) in multiple countries. So if I were to fly in to DR in province Paravia or to Cundimarca in La Capital Bogota in Colombia, they would drop everything just to get the "d" from me. Hey I'm an American with Brazilian heritage with Billy Dee Wiliams type of smoothness on those two chicas. #IJS

I would love to find a wife, but if you have that American, loyal-royal-like-Lorde, chivalrous attitude that the next woman you date will be your permanent wife, then you can be cheating you and/or she out of finding their best mate for reproduction and carrying out legacies down the uberproductive path. Too many American men are on that bullcrock.....we hath the gold (e.g. power, money, knowledge, looks, etc) hence make the rules....not these women, zboy. They come to us because we make the rules in those countries alas the patriarchy in the countries which we seek those wives, yes-yes? So date until we find the right one. The key is that if we have to let them down easily, then we should do it with the utmost courtesy so if she were to meet another man whom fits the same idiosyncratic stereotypes that we had projected on that FW, then she wouldn't be jaded and those two just might make it work all out. Do you get what I mean?

Jester wrote:

MrMan wrote:

If you go there and want to find a wife, you could meet some couples where an Indonesian woman is married to an expat man. Then you could ask the wife if she had any friends who'd asked her if she knew any white men who wanted to get married. That may be a way of finding a date. My wife had women ask her that quite a bit. "How did you find your husband? How do you marry a man like that?" They don't ask her that here in the US. But back when I was young living there, she'd probably be asked that several times a year.

I also got the impression that some of the women who went to English-speaking church services would have been interested in a Christian foreigner for a husband. Lots of young women would ask me how my week was before or after church back when I was single. The could have been being friendly.

Haha no they weren't just being friendly. They were being... you know... FRIENDLY.


So there are two great takeaways.
(1) English-language church services, and
(2) networking with mixed couples.

Thanks!



PS
Re polygamy there, too bad, seems like it is accepted but unusual. From what I have heard, and saw in one art film, this is what Iran would be like also. Tolerated, but something the first wife has to deal with in one way or another. Quite different from Black Africa, where polygamy is admired.

Controlled polygamy in Saudi Arabia and Negro-Africa is so compulsory. Do you see all that big a.ss, d.ick-sucking lips (both pairs lol) that they have???? You cannot have just one! #PotatoChipEffect

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:

Jester wrote:

Quite different from Black Africa, where polygamy is admired.

Controlled polygamy in Saudi Arabia and Negro-Africa is so compulsory. Do you see all that big a.ss, d.ick-sucking lips (both pairs lol) that they have???? You cannot have just one! #PotatoChipEffect

Thanks for the sociological explanation.

Did your research I guess?

To E Irizarry R&B Singer: Yeah, I agree: Mongering while leaving a "trail-of-destruction" as you stated, only leaves a bad taste in the mouth of both American and foreign women, and ruins it for the rest of us.

That also makes women more feminist and become hateful towards men; Also it makes the females in some countries, become more Westernized in their behavior.

When I mean mongers, I mean the RooshV, ROK crowd, and some of the people on HappierAbroad (including Winston)--who only want to travel abroad to have sex with as many women as possible--without understanding the consequences of doing so. ...

There are lots of bad effects of fornicating. Sexual intercourse is a reproductive activity. Condoms are supposed to be about the best form of birth control that also protect against (some) STDs, but they aren't 100% effective (and what's the point if one wears a condom? It's only about 10% as good as the real thing.) You could end up with some girl bearing your baby across the world that you don't know about or raise. That's a bad thing to do to her and to the child who grows up not knowing his dad, who didn't care about him or her or love him/her. That's an unethical thing to do.

So what kind of damaging can whoremongering (or 'mongering') whether one pays for it or not, do?

The poor girl bonds with this intense experience that involves the release of hormones. She develops feelings for the guy. He leaves or she sees him with another girl. She's heart broken. The man who seduces her just messes her up that much more, leaving her for whoever marries her.

Taking a girl's virginity is also a violation. She may give it up willingly, but at a vulnerable point that some player brings her to by manipulation. Then, in a lot of goods, she's damaged goods. And she has to live her life with potentially a sub-par husband to what she could have had before.

Prostitutes in some cases start out as sex slave children. Or they may be 18-year-olds who got kicked out of the house, or teens that ran away. In a very desperate state, they engage in prostitution to feed themselves. Some of them are basically slaves, and if they don't bring the money to a mafia man (he may be two-bit mafia), then they face physical harm. Paying a prostitute can keep this industry going.

Really, who wants to have sex with a woman in whom so many other men have deposited their liquid biological material? Some of those prostitutes have sex with multiple guys in the day. The material is still there fresh and another guy comes into contact with it. Or if condoms are used, there is still skin, hair, lice, and sweat. It's disgusting if you think about it.

I heard a guy in Indonesia say, "I don't want a second-hand woman." There is still a (sane and reasonable) preference for virgins there.

Maybe some guys enjoy having variety, different women time after time. But these guys probably expend either a great deal of effort 'gaming' women, or else spend money hiring women with well-used bodies with a high risk of disease and contribute potentially to mafias and the exploitation of other human beings.

Marriage is the best option. It's possible to find a woman who takes care of a man's sexual needs on an ongoing basis, whose faithful, and stays with her man. I doubt prostitutes are going to cook for you. They probably aren't going to stick around and raise your children. Prostitutes don't mop your floor. They don't listen to you when you want to talk about something, or help you achieve your life goals or objectives. They don't greet you at the door day after day with a kiss.

If you are concerned with sex, you can set expectations with a woman you are dating even if she is a virgin. You can tell her you expect sex so many times a week. You can even frame it like this, I'm unusual. I'll have a sexual need of X times a week, and I need to marry a woman who can meet my needs. Some women may find that a lot to ask for. I'm dating to find a wife, and that's one reason I've stayed with you for so long. But I want to be fair to you, and if you are the type who won't be willing to engage in sex that often, I can let you go on your way.

There is more to a relationship than sex, and when you are 60 or 70, it may not be as big of a deal, though it will probably still be a component of the relationship.

Anyway, marriage as a place for sexual fulfillment is a lot better than mongering for a number of reasons, ethical, practical, and health-wise.

Jester wrote:

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:

Jester wrote:

Quite different from Black Africa, where polygamy is admired.

Controlled polygamy in Saudi Arabia and Negro-Africa is so compulsory. Do you see all that big a.ss, d.ick-sucking lips (both pairs lol) that they have???? You cannot have just one! #PotatoChipEffect

Thanks for the sociological explanation.

Did your research I guess?

Long before you have posted such a resemblant post. lol