Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
14 posts • Page 1 of 1
So here's my story and I would like to hear back with what you think. I may be missing something. I'll give you a little story leading up to now.
Last summer I ended up dating a Korean girl staying in Canada for about 9 months. We did good for a bit then she met some korean guy and that was the end of her. It really bothered me at the time due to the fact I put a lot of work into her and I really liked her. Tho I know it wouldn't of lasted.
After the break up I was missing my little asian girl. I was planning on going to Asia anyhow due to the fact I got Europe and the Middle east done. So I joined a dating site looking for "friends" and just people.
After doing a ton of reading up on the scams and laughing at the ones trying to scam me, I ended up talking to one who shocked the hell outta me. Now I know there is a lot of good girls online looking and a lot more bad ones. But here is some things about her.
1. She works in Thailand but not at a bar. She's a waitress at a high end restaurant. I only know this to be true because I check the place out online and her picture is there with the staff. Also she has facetimed me there.
2. She knows i'm not rich. I'm not even white. I'm half black. She said when she joined she was looking for only white guys (like most) but she liked my profile so much she wrote me (could be a lie but meh)
3. She has told me her family owns a bit of land so she doesn't send them money. I know this is a common lie but nothing I care about right now. If it's true then great. If not. Well I found my reason to break up with her after I leave.
4. She non-stop txt/msgs me. The first thing she asks everyday to me. "have you ate" All day, everyday. The movie dusk till dawn would be in awe of her. I know this is a common one also. But we always talk on facetime which would give her much less time to do anything else.
5. She doesn't go out much if ever. Facetime and skype can be your friend. She "takes me" to work and home. Then to bed with me watching her on her phone. To be honest with you, I kinda hate it because she always wants to be on it with me showing me around and to her work friends.
6. The site we met on Cherry-blossoms, records the last time someone log on. She hasn't used her profile from around the time we met. I have. I always check. I have never found another profile of her online there. If she made one with no picture i'm sure she would of stopped talking to me for the next reason.
7. She wants to spend as much time with me as she can. I only can spend a month in Thailand so she booked and paid for a room for me. I'm sure it's also a way to make sure none of the other lovely ladies can talk to me as much.... or me talk to them but i'm not worried about that now. She has already sent me pictures of the place. It's not bad I must say. The only reason i'm not staying at her place is because she share a small place with 2 other girls.
8. She has never asked me for a dime. She also knows I wouldn't give her one. She said her dream is to become a nurse. No I won't pay for it.
9. I have creeped the f**k!!! out of her facebook. I know it better then I know mine. Nothing. No slutty, dirty pictures of her on a bed or at the beach. Only friends and co-workers.
So now i'm flying out in a few months to meet her and tour other parts of asia. I think she is worried I will meet other girls and not talk to her before I get to Thailand. Could happen but i'm still going to go see her.
So what do you think. Out of all the sites and web pages that I have been on, I have never heard of a girl who will pay for you to stay. Could be to good to be true. I'll make sure I keep my dog tags on just in case I end up dead in a ditch lol.
All jokes aside. I think she is a straight up good girl and could be a keeper. Time will tell. She has said "if there are sparks when you get her. Then next time she hopes I will come meet her family" Sure... why not.
With that please let me know what you think. Feel free to ask some Qs also. I got nothing to hide. I'm just going on a vacation. If something happens then great. If not, i'll have no regrets!!
C'mon nlitf don't troll the new guy, you sound like freaking AdmiralOfBlacks.
The only thing I could advise the OP is not the get too invested in any one woman. Especially at a distance.
IMO, hedge by opening up other options.
Last edited by droid on August 12th, 2014, 4:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
Im not trolling asian women are supposed to be better so if there is any doubt assume the worse.
Lol it's all good. I got thick skin. I know what you saying and I was talking to many at one point. Most of them looking for a pay day. If it goes bad when i'm there I don't mind because i'm on vacation and this trip is costing me next to nothing. Please don't think i'm falling in love with her, i'm not. But she is interesting I must say. Thanks for the reply.
when you leaving? Would be nice to hear how it goes.
Ill go point by point since i have time lol
1) what city in thailand? If its pattaya then forget her completely and run. Also how do you know she wasn't a bargirl BEFORE? Maybe she used to be a dancer or GRO waitress.
2) Common mistake believing they prefer particular races. All the girls say they hate black or guys from certain countries but ive seen these girls messaging or wanting to meet or screwing said guys they say they dont like. They will tell you what you want to hear. If your black they now like black guys. even them saying they hate the local guys is often a lie too. if the locals that had money or were working abroad with a good job then they may be itnerested again
4) sounds desperate or something a bargirl would do
5) sounds like desperation or setting you up for the "Long con". You really think regular thai women do this? no they dont. not to ment they haven't met. Only desperate or shady ones
dream of nurse means she has a dream of going abroad. For example Most nurses in philippines talking to foreigners are very gold diggerish i had bad experience with them online and offline because it was so obvious they would go with any guy who would get them that instant visa out and spend a lot of money. most dont even like being nurses thats why most are unemployed talking to foreigners.
9) means nothing. she may have 2 facebooks or she may be the only guy she is talking to. She is honing in on you specifically cause she suspects she may have hit the lotto, sorry.
Final thoughts no such thing as a girl that will pay you to stay. She is working the long con which is a lot more beneficial to her than paying a few bahts for a hotel. your wasting and getting way too emotionally involved with a woman before you met. I sort of did this on my last trip and it worked out ok and at first i started thinking i made a mistake moving her in so quick but in the end we stay ed together for months. but this wasnt ym first trip there either i wouldn't commit to a girl i never met if i had never been to the country before unless i never been to the country and specifically looking for a tourist guide for a short trip and it doesn't matter who then i guess it wont matter if she is good or bad but you may feel stuck with this girl if you dont like her.
Could you hire a translator and ask to meet her parents? Then interview her family and friends through the translator to see what she's like. Maybe you could do this when you aren't around her, like when she's at work.
After you have gotten a lot of information, ask your translator if he thinks she's a bar girl. Don't let him know your suspicions before interviewing or he might tip others off and you wouldn't know.
they have detectives in thailand. But some detectives might be crooked i think. but if your thinking of getting serious about this girl you could always do some detective work after you are there and fallen in love lol
also if i were you i would pose as a stranger on facebook, her dating site, and on her phone. say your in town (the town she is at) and offer her $$$. If she accepts then she is a freelance prostitute or bargirl.
Also keylog and get her passwords to her accounts when she goes on your laptop.
This stuff worked in my favor use it to your advantage. Dont ever trust any desperate poor girl until you have vetted them for a very long time with various methods.
Don't agree. Of course you will have doubt and look for any red flags. That's what a mature man does. Ask questions, check her out carefully and take your time. There is no such thing as a thunderbolt that tells you automatically that she is good, though I hope she is.
OTOH there will come a time where you have to decide to trust her. Once you get to that point or once you are genuinely talking marriage, try your best to put your doubts aside or resolve them.
Check out my blog @ http://www.marriedafilipina.com
Sorry I forgot all about this lol. After 6 weeks in asia and one month with her. Everything turned out to be true. Meet up with her my first day there and she took care of me the WHOLE time. Saved me well over $1000. I had to fight with her to spend money half the time. She has an ok job and not at any type of whore place. I spent time there with her and the co-workers. We did a bit of traveling and I look foreword to going back.
(cool to be able to say that )
Glad it worked out!!!!
Pics, pics, pics....??
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."
Amazing! Very happy for you. And your experience sounds a bit similar to mine, with my then-girlfriend (and now wife!) also insisting on paying for the hotel. That's when you know you've got a good one... she'll be reluctant to ask for money, if ever, no matter how dire things get. You are a lucky man, and should hold on to this one for your dear life.