Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
I am thinking of going to look for a wife in Asia, which country do you think is best?
I am half Vietnamese-French and half Korean of origin but the only Asian language I speak is Chinese (as that's the language of business in Asia). Only little "hi, how are you doing" type of basic knowledge of Korean and Vietnamese (and of French as well) and I am able to ask for directions and understand the answers in those languages.
I was thinking of maybe Vietnam, Korea or China.
What do you guys think of? And why?
"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds" (FDR)
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Korea or China would not be on my list, personally. I'm not saying you couldn't find a great wife in either country if you looked.
I get the impression that a lot of Korean women are dominant in the home. Mainly I get it from K-dramas, where you see that as a kind of theme. I lived in South Korea for a year, but it's hard to know since I didn't date a Korean long enough to really get to know this family dynamic. I could be totally wrong about it. There may be young Korean women who are as meek and feminine at home as they are out in public. I really do like the feminine way they talk, ending all the sentences with 'eyo', whatever that means, and trying to talk all submissive like. If a man married a girl who was younger, she'd probably submit due to age anyway. If he managed the relationship well and wouldn't put up with disrespect, it could work if he married a really sweet girl who deferred to him.
I decided I did not want to marry a Korean just because the culture was so frustrating to me. They are kind of rigid about how they see things and do things.
I did know a former military man turned English teacher who'd just married a Korean woman. She was probably about a 9. From what he said, they probably had sex every thing. She told him if he wanted to have sex any time, just to wake her up. She liked him to chase her around the bedroom. The guy told me way too many details. I did not want to think about those things when I saw her.
Somehow I suspect this is no more typical of Korean women than of women in any other country.
Chinese women, it's the same issue as with Korean women. They may try to rule the roost. My wife is Indonesian, and Chinese women have a reputation for being 'cerewet' toward their husbands, kind mouthy, either bossy or complaining. I don't know if they are moreso than other races of people, there, but I get the impression that some Chinese women are like that. And Communism, I hear, has messed up good manners and traditional culture. The whole Communist philosophy is bad for marriage and family. It's the root of radical feminist philosophy after all.
Out of the ones you've mentioned, Vietnamese sounds like the best bet on the metric of women submitting to their husbands. I think I read somewhere that Vietnamese women tend to think it's not wrong for a husband to beat his wife. That's not something I hope appeals to any of the guys here. No one should be a violent husband. But if they think that way, then they may be more likely to let the guy be in charge than other countries. The down side to Vietnam from my perspective would be religion-- atheist communism or Buddhist, with only a small minority Christians. That and the fact that it is so difficult for Vietnamese to learn English and hard for us English speakers to understand their accents. But I've never been to Vietnam, so I could only go by what they read.
For me personally, Indonesia would be high on the list because it's what I know and where I met my wife. Women embrace the idea that they are to cook and take care of the home. They pretty much all want to have children. From the conversation of the women I overheard, there seems to be a positive attitude toward sex in marriage. Premarital sex is frowned upon and virginity at marriage is expected to be the norm. There is a general consensus that wives are supposed to submit to their husbands. Of course, like in any country, there are women who are bossy and if you don't manage the relationship well, a woman who would otherwise be submissive may walk all over you.
Indonesia is majority Islam. Bali is majority Hindu. There are Chinese Buddhist communities. There is also a large Christian population, with some people-groups being predominantly Christian. Looks-wise, my guess is that it would be a little harder to find a truly striking woman in Indonesia when compared to Vietnam or even the Philippines. There were lots of pretty girls in when I was there, but for me, most of them topped out at about 8.5 to 9, though I saw some 9 pluses for me for looks. There are some real striking women in Indonesia, though.
My wife is Indonesian, and she is a phenomenal cook. She's a phenomenal cook for an Indonesian, too.
In case you haven't caught on, some of my criteria included things like being of the same faith, high sexual ethics, virginity, willingness to submit to a husband, and things like that.
With Filippinas and Indonesians and probably Vietnamese, you'll need to negotiate out support for her family. I think this may be a bigger deal in the Filippinas and maybe Vietnam. With my wife's folks, it's more along the lines of giving whenever you can, sending money at Christmas or New Year or giving money when you visit them. It's third world prices, and $100 at Christmas time is a pretty big gift for them. I hear Filippinas may want to work and send a monthly stipend. You could have your wife stay home and say just cook meals and give me all the sex I want and I'll send your parents money. I wish I'd presented it that way when I first got married (in a flirty fun way), had her agree to it, and reminded her of it from time to time.
Btw, a wife being from a certain country doesn't guarantee she will be a prostitute. Indonesia has really sweet girls. It also has mentally unstable girls. I had a stalker with mental problems for a while before I got married. There are also prostitutes. But there are a lot of positive things about the culture when it comes to finding a wife.
The Filippines has a lot of sweet girls, but it also has prostitutes and scammers. All countries have decent potential wives and women who would make poor wives. That applies to the US as well. It is possible to find a good wife in the US.
It does help, though, if the dominant culture a woman grew up in supports certain basic ethical principles that support a good marriage, like sexual morality, an aversion to divorce, the wife respecting her husband and doing what he says, a wife pleasing her husband, and a wife taking care of the home.
If a man goes for an Asian girl like this, to be fair, he should generally be willing to have children, and he should also be a good provider and leader type in the home. If he thinks his wife should go get a job after she has four little kids at home, and he thinks that's normal and reasonable, that may not be fair. Some women from overseas work hard in these circumstances. It's better, though, if he's willing to bear that kind of burden if he can. We all have to do what we need to to survive financially, though. Women from some countries think American men are rich, and a man needs to explain to a woman that prices are higher in the US and the money doesn't go that far.
Here's the info.
Top 10 Countries For Asian Girls
http://naughtynomad.com/2010/06/27/top- ... -s-e-asia/
It depends what you consider to do in future. Do you want to bring her out of her country? Or do you consider to work in an Asian country?
About myself, I work in Tokyo, but I am from Europe, with Japanese wife since over 3 decades and no problem with job and family.
However not so many Asian countries are suitable for a Western foreigner for a good working contract and longstay.
While retirement in Thailand for example is ok, it is not a good place for working permits. And while working permits are no problem in Philippines, there are often no jobs with a reasonable income.
It's not only about which country makes a good wife, but in which country do you think you can live with her without financial problems.
For me that's an argument against the Philippines and in favor of Indonesia, Vietnam, Korea, and China.
Filippino food is kind of like Indonesian food except kind of bland in comparison with pig fat added.
Having dated women from many different Asian countries, I will put in a vote for Malaysian Chinese women. Even better if you can find a Malaysian Chinese/Filipina mix woman as there are quite a few there. Malaysia tends to get overlooked on this forum, but my experience with Malaysian Chinese women is that they have a lot of the great values of traditional Chinese women - devoted to family and husband, great housewife and cook, and highly sexual if you press the right buttons - without a lot of the negative values of Chinese women - not as materialistic, not as bossy, and not as single minded about being an over achiever. I think of them as China - light. Also since the Chinese in Malaysian only make up about 25% of the Malaysian population and hence often do not receive the preferential treatment that the majority Malays do in in Malaysia, they are used to being the underdog which typically gives them a strong work ethic and dedication to their purpose since that is how they get ahead in Malaysian without preferential treatment. The Chinese in Malaysia have found ways to be very successful there despite the politics which favor the Malays. Many of them also speak decent English, much better than native Chinese women, since English is widely spoken in Malaysia. Also despite the ineptness and corruption of the Malaysian government, Malaysia is actually a fairly decent place to live, they have a good incentives for American retired folks to move there, and your dollar goes a long way in Malaysia. Malaysians also seem to have an easier time with VISAs and international travel than native Chinese people and I know several better off Malaysian Chinese families who maintain households both in Malaysia and in the US. The downside is that they have very hot temperatures and a long rainy, monsoon season similar to other equatorial countries. Also if you are not accustomed to living in an area with a heavy Muslim population (the Malays), that will take some adjustment, however I have always found the Muslim Malays to be very peaceful and largely easy to get along with once you are there. The inter-ethnic relations are not as good in Malaysia as they are in Singapore, but they generally are not terrible either as can be the case in some other Muslim countries.
Many of the Malaysians with the Chinese/Filipina mix also have a more exotic look from the Filipino blood, but often they have a Malaysian Chinese mindset particularly if they are raised by a Chinese mother. Filipino father and Malaysian Chinese mother seems to be a popular mix there.
The other country to consider outside of Malaysia that also tends to get overlooked here is Laos. Perhaps not as pretty as some of the other Asian women, but very sweet, kind, and family oriented women, many of whom are just looking for a way to get out of Laos, which is a very restrictive and poor country. They border Vietnam on one side and many of them have Vietnamese looks.
Heh heh... I'm not surprised that the Philippines had the top score for sexuality
I haven't been to Malaysia. I did get to know one Chinese family from Malaysia quite well in Jakarta. I wonder how different Chinese Malaysians are from Indonesian Chinese. I get the idea that they may be treated even more as foreigners in the country of their birth than Indonesians, though there has been some violence against Chinese during political upheaval in Indonesia, and the Chinese were forced to drop their Chinese names and Chinese New Year after a crackdown against Communism.
My wife told me if she died not to marry a Chinese woman because they have a reputation of being mouthy. Her experience is mainly with Chinese in Indonesia, and where she was born, they still speak a Chinese dialect on the street. So they may have a strong local culture. In Jakarta, they tend to speak Indonesia and be a little more integrated into mainstream society. Personally, I think a Chinese women from Indonesia could be a good wife. The Javanese tend to have a reputation for being more submissive. In general, I think Chinese women are a bit more attractive on average, but there are good-looking women from the various people-groups there. It seemed like mainland Chinese women tended to be better looking than the ones in Indonesia to me, though.
I'm surprised that Malaysian Chinese-Filippina is a thing. I'm not surprised that an individual could have that mix, but for it to be an ordinary common thing is a bit unusual to me. Maybe its because Chinese and Filippinas tend to be Catholic or Protestant much more than the local Malay groups. I hear they are persecuted if they convert and in order to be considered a 'puteri bumi'-- son of the land-- one has to be Muslim. Is Chinese-Indian a pretty common mix, too?
What is the population of Malaysia? 20 something million maybe? That's probably why it gets overlooked when people talk about Asian countries. Americans don't have much interaction with it, just like Indonesia, which has nearly 10 times the population of Malaysia. We had a war with Vietnam and got the Philippines in a war for a while and had a base there. We fought Japan, and China is the big country there and now the rising superpower, so we know about those countries. We know a bit about Indian because of England colonizing it and including it in a lot of literature.
I have only been to Indonesia once, so I don't have a great feel for it, but my understanding is that the Malay/Chinese relations in Malaysia are much better than the Javanese/Chinese relations in Indonesia, so your description of the Chinese in Indonesia and your wife's instructions not to marry an Indonesian Chinese woman do not surprise me. On the Filipino/Chinese mix thing, keep in mind that East Malaysia (the part of Malaysia that is on the northern half of the island of Borneo) is actually closer to the Philippines than it is to the main part of Malaysia on the peninsula. I don't know the full history, but apparently Filipino men made their way to east Malaysia first, then to peninsular Malaysia and took jobs there and married Malaysian Chinese women there. Sandakan and Koti Kinabalu (which is called KK) in east Malaysia have many Filipino/Chinese and many of them have migrated west to KL over time. All of the Filipino/Chinese Malaysians I know are Christian, either Catholic or Protestant. Also to be clear, from what I have seen, the same way the Malays have decent relationships with the Malaysian Chinese, but do not totally accept them, the Malaysian Chinese have decent relationships with the Malaysian Filipino/Chinese, but do not totally accept them. It helps when the mother is Chinese and adopts the Malaysian Chinese ways, then the Malaysian Chinese seem to accept the Filipino/Chinese easier. Also interesting to me that many of the Malaysian Chinese that I know who do business with the mainland Chinese, really don't seem to like the mainland Chinese that much. They see the mainland Chinese as rude, obnoxious, loud, materialistic, and shady in business matters.
You also see Chinese/Indian mixing in Malaysia and it's fairly common as well, but again the Malaysian Chinese community does not totally accept this mixing. I did not see any Chinese/Malay or Indian/Malay mixing I suspect mainly due to the Muslim conversion thing. The only Malay mixing I saw was with Middle Eastern men who apparently like to holiday in Malaysia and pick up Malay women. Americans are accepted very well in Malaysia, particularly retirees. The Malaysian government has a program called Malaysia My 2nd Home (MM2H) with various tax incentives and a renewable 10 year visa to attract westerners to Malaysia. The program hasn't done as well as the Malaysian government would like, but I've heard mostly positive reviews of it. I agree that without any military involvement there, many Americans just don't know much about it.
Out of the countries I've been to, I would choose Filipinas for sweetness, and Chinese women for looks. A lot of the girls are feminine, but they have varying degrees of emotionality. East Asians are more "practical" whereas Filipinas are more emotional and sentimental. Thai girls seem more like the East Asian type, and overly concerned with money.
I've heard good things about Malaysian women, partially because they highly value Malaysian men. So they are probably less likely to be gold diggers or passport hunters. And if they go with you, it probably wouldn't be because they couldn't find a good guy in their own country.
My wife is not Javanese, though. I think she may have a little Javanese blood, but she's counted as Batak and is Batak culturally, that and generic Jakarta culture. She spent her early childhood in Sumatra and moved later to Jakarta. In her part of Sumatra, the Chinese speak a Chinese dialect to each other that's not Manadrin. In Jakarta, they speak Indonesian and it's rare to find one that speaks Chinese without having studied it. I think the Chinese are known for intermarrying with themselves. Maybe the Batak up there and other people groups think the Chinese think of themselves as separate and too good to intermarry. There are a number of Chinese who are successful as small business owners, food and other consumer package goods company owners, bankers, and real estate investors. There are also plenty of office workers and other poor Chinese people. But the successful businessmen are more visible, and some Indonesians are jealous. During the 1998 riots, certain power-brokers seemed to feed off that jealousy to instigate riots against them.
There are also plenty of people in Jakarta who are Indonesians with Chinese blood. I get the idea that the class distinctions in Malaysia may be a bit stronger, probably because of laws and practices requiring Malays to be Muslim. There are Malay people in Indonesia, but no particular law that they have to be Muslim. Most are.
I doesn't sound like they have their own distinct community like the Chinese. I wonder if a Chinese-Indian mixed woman could be well culturally prepared to be a good wife. I don't recall anything about marrying Indians on here.
Thank you guys for the all the feedback/ info you have given me. I was taking a better look at things and basically can conclude that most women in China and Korea are definitely spoilt by society. I think Vietnam is the best option for a lesser materialistic wife...
My mom gave me the advice to look for a wife that is both good to them (my parents) and me and specifically somebody that will love me no matter if I am rich or if I am poor.
I am not poor but dont like to show off my wallet either. I think Vietnam might be the better option in my case....but little is known about Vietnamese women.
I was looking at those dating sites. I am absolutely no expert on online dating.... so therefore my question is now: "how shall i communicate in my online profile that iI am not looking for just only boom-boom-action?"
I am looking for a future wife, but how shall I put this wanting for serious relationship in my profile?
I have 3 possible things lined up what I could write down (of course write with more creativity) but shortly described:
1. business man coming more often looking for girlfriend/ serious relationship
2. asian man looking for future wife
3. looking for love (not specific)
And in all cases I need to note that I live in EU.
So, what do you guys think I could best do?
"Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds" (FDR)
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