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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Postby Ghost » Mon Sep 08, 2014 9:11 am

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 4:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Ghost » Mon Sep 08, 2014 9:15 am

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Postby MarcosZeitola » Mon Sep 08, 2014 9:23 am

Ghost wrote:A few? That's got to be the biggest understatement ever on HA. More like 95% scammers, liars, and thieves.


Wow, 95%? Jesus Christ... guess me and the other HA'ers that found good families and made good friends all just dodged a bullet by meeting what is basically a unicorn over there?
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Postby Ghost » Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:20 am

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Postby MarcosZeitola » Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:34 am

Ghost wrote:Or, more likely, it will eventually blow up in your faces, and you're blind to it.


At least I had an awesome time while it lasted! :wink:
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Postby Array9 » Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:33 pm

Ghost,

A wise man once told me to only deal with people on your level or above. Your level could be mentally, spiritually, financially etc. Unfortunately, the family you dealt with seem to fall on the lower end of the scale. Take it as a learning experience. Deal with people who already have jobs.

As for the brother, he is a fool as you already pointed out. If he had an ounce of intelligence, he would have put some money away and opened up a Sari Sari store with enough money left over to help his family. :roll:
Men chase, women choose

As long as you have gold in your hand, you will ALWAYS have bread on your table.
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Postby hammanta » Mon Sep 08, 2014 3:21 pm

davewe wrote:
ladislav wrote:I've noticed one interesting thing. If an American guy goes to the Philippines ( and Thailand)and gets ripped off and then expresses his frustrations online, he gets no compassion. He gets shat upon even more after that.


Certainly not quite true on Living in Cebu where one tale of woe begets a dozen others. There's guys there who post hundreds if not thousands of complaints. Of course they don't leave the country - can't imagine why not :)

Here's a story, for what it's worth. I am old enough to remember a time when people did not lock their doors - literally. In my suburban neighborhood as a teen no one locked their houses or cars. It seems like a different world. One summer there was a series of burglaries in my neighborhood, including our house. Paranoia swept the neighborhood and from then on everyone locked their doors.

This does NOT make the thieves not culpable. Of course they were. They still broke the law and did what society deems to be illegal and immoral. But that summer we learned at least a little bit about the need (and responsibility) to protect ourselves. When you go abroad you have to be an adult. You have to know that there are bad people out there and protect yourself. Just complaining after the fact when you didn't lock your door, euphemistically speaking, isn't enough.

So when I read those posts on Living in Cebu in the majority of cases, the guy was a dumbass, sometimes hysterically so. That doesn't make the liar/scammer/thief not culpable. But that also does not make the guy not a dumbass, which sometimes people point out. After being victimized, you can either complain about the injustice or change your own behavior. Guys who do the former end up being victimized often; those who do the latter, learn and grow.


I agree with you Dave. I liked your recent post about liars in the Philippines.

It happens everywhere it just so happens that you are a lot more out of place and don't know the system as well in the Philippines. We understand suspicious behavior in areas where we are familiar with the customs.

I go to DC all the time and people try and scam me since I'm white and I look like a tourist. I'm talking cab drivers as well as people just on the street. One guy came by when it was raining and said hey you want a free umbrella. When he hands it to me he said he's taking up donations for some cause. I said I don't have any cash so he took the umbrella back and walked away.

My brother was held at knife point in a bathroom in Chicago and robbed. I've worked with hispanics that have been screwed out of paychecks, or car loans, or charged more because they didn't speak English well. My wallet and brother's phone were stolen from the gym I go to. I've let people borrow cash and they've never returned it. My parents car was stolen when I was younger. I have gotten way over charged for auto repair work. Most of these have happened in rural small town America as well.

I can go on and on about stories here in America that people have taken (or tried) advantage of me or someone I've known. It happens in the Philippines to but you have to understand that it is a homogenous and poor society. Poverty breads this kind of behavior and since you stand out as a Kano, you have an easier target on your head. That doesn't mean that Filipinos in general are anymore prone to corruption.
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Postby MrPeabody » Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:12 pm

Array9 wrote:Ghost,

A wise man once told me to only deal with people on your level or above. Your level could be mentally, spiritually, financially etc. Unfortunately, the family you dealt with seem to fall on the lower end of the scale. Take it as a learning experience. Deal with people who already have jobs.

As for the brother, he is a fool as you already pointed out. If he had an ounce of intelligence, he would have put some money away and opened up a Sari Sari store with enough money left over to help his family. :roll:


Of the few men who go to places like the Philippines looking for a real relationship, most of them are fools with little life experience or common sense. The very few who do have sense seem to come out with a wife and are happy. A middle class American isn't really sensitized to how horrible poverty is and what it can do to a person's character. Why would you spend 10 minutes around someone who only wants to milk you for money? . For some reason, the ego always likes to construct a story that it was someone else's fault. The ego wants to be right. The simple thing is to just acknowledge that you did it to yourself and analyze the situation to identify your weaknesses and errors in thought. That way you learn from experience and don't make the same mistake twice. If we don't have experience, we don't develop wisdom.
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Postby Cornfed » Mon Sep 08, 2014 7:47 pm

Array9 wrote:A wise man once told me to only deal with people on your level or above. Your level could be mentally, spiritually, financially etc.

Wouldn't that mean you were dealing exclusively with unwise suckers not following the advice you just gave?
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » Mon Sep 08, 2014 8:54 pm

some people hang around leeches because they only want sex from the woman. Has it ever occured to you guys.
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Postby MarcosZeitola » Mon Sep 08, 2014 9:11 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote:some people hang around leeches because they only want sex from the woman. Has it ever occured to you guys.


No, but I'm sure it has happened to you because virtually all your posts are about exactly that. :lol:
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » Mon Sep 08, 2014 11:47 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:some people hang around leeches because they only want sex from the woman. Has it ever occured to you guys.


No, but I'm sure it has happened to you because virtually all your posts are about exactly that. :lol:


No I meant the occuring thought in the discussion as to the reason thats why some guys wind up with leeches. Its because they want instant sex hassle free subconciously. They want a meal ticket and many foreigners want a p***y ticket.


For example Ghost met a girl right off the dating site and wined and dined the family with no intention of marriage. You could argue he was serious but as a guy that is not serious himself lets just be honest here, he knew the rules, he wanted sex and instant off the dating site and she gave it to him for a cost. A big miscommunication gap because he didn't realize he was dealing with a scammer/hoe. Sort of like with my bargirl who led me on pretending she loved me when she didnt. Thats what got me the most and to this day that bitch still plays an act so I can't talk to her. When a guy's ego is hurt its the worst thing and this girl made him think she cared about him and it wasn't about the money thats where things go wrong with women in philippines they play with the guys heart just to get money. Likewise guy plays with girls heart to get sex. I think what the women do is worse though cause the g uy may genuinely like the girl or he wont have sex with her. Women might as well hit up a banker if they only want money.
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Postby Ghost » Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:36 am

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Postby Jester » Tue Sep 09, 2014 4:06 am

MarcosZeitola wrote:
Ghost wrote:
Or, more likely, it will eventually blow up in your faces, and you're blind to it.



At least I had an awesome time while it lasted! :wink:



+1
The PERFECT response to dire predictions of gloom and doom.
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Postby Jester » Tue Sep 09, 2014 4:08 am

Array9 wrote:
A wise man once told me to only deal with people on your level or above. Your level could be mentally, spiritually, financially etc.



Wish someone had told me this as a kid.

Real wisdom.
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