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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Postby Taco » Thu Sep 04, 2014 2:59 am

newlifeinphilippines wrote:Taco most guys here want virgins or women with no kids or models or girls with makati education. So unfortunately your success story wont be replicated by anyone else. lol


Your right. Most guys select women for:

1. Looks
2. Virginity
3. Education

That's why guys get screwed over again and again. The one thing most guys neglect to select for in a girlfriend is trustworthiness. Trustworthiness should be the first thing you look for in a woman. If you can't trust her your screwed before you even begin dating her.
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Postby Banano » Thu Sep 04, 2014 3:49 am

Is it true that if you have filipina gf or wife her whole family tries to mooch off you in some way, be it dinners, gifts or money?

How common is this?


If she brings chaperone on the first date it would be fair for that person to pay for everything or else you should pretend to go to the bathroom and slip away leaving them with a huge bill to pay, next time I go PH and she brings entourage that exactly what Im gonna do.
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » Thu Sep 04, 2014 3:58 am

Taco wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:Taco most guys here want virgins or women with no kids or models or girls with makati education. So unfortunately your success story wont be replicated by anyone else. lol


Your right. Most guys select women for:

1. Looks
2. Virginity
3. Education

That's why guys get screwed over again and again. The one thing most guys neglect to select for in a girlfriend is trustworthiness. Trustworthiness should be the first thing you look for in a woman. If you can't trust her your screwed before you even begin dating her.


problem is that one is hard to know and sometimes you wont even know until you been married for years.

trustworthiness, believes in God or wants to learn about my faith, great at sex, treats me like a king, decently attractive, romantic chemistry is what i want. If she aint hot enough or isn't a nympho i wont marry her or if she has a bad attitude or just i can't connect with her well enough shes not marriagble. virginity education or wealth is not on my list like some guys here I figure getting the other stuff is hard enough. Everyone wants different things but you can't have it all so im picking only a few of those things that tend to make me happy. I cn't be happy with a girl that is only slightly above average no matter how nice she is or educated she is. The better the personality though the more forgiving i am on looks though.
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Postby Ghost » Thu Sep 04, 2014 4:46 am

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » Thu Sep 04, 2014 5:11 am

unfortunately you can't turn off emotions. its why many guys fall in love with bargirls. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way though so you wont fall for it as easily in future.
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Postby hammanta » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:52 pm

Banano wrote:Is it true that if you have filipina gf or wife her whole family tries to mooch off you in some way, be it dinners, gifts or money?

How common is this?


If she brings chaperone on the first date it would be fair for that person to pay for everything or else you should pretend to go to the bathroom and slip away leaving them with a huge bill to pay, next time I go PH and she brings entourage that exactly what Im gonna do.


This occurs usually with the weaker minded and emotional troubled men. I myself at times have fallen under this classification as well. Hey love, or the thought of love can make us weak, I understand that.

But if you set boundaries from the start and set her in her place, then you should be fine. That's the advice from a friend of mine who has been married to a filipina for 5 or so years. He told his future wife before they got married that he wasn't gonna provide for her family. If she wanted to help them she needed to get a job. That's what she did and they are still very happily married and her family treats them really well whenever they come to visit.

As far as chaperones on a date, I don't have a problem unless they bring several. I ran into that with my current girl but her and her friends paid for everything, even mine. She brought friends because she was cautious of me and very conservative.

If she brings a friend or two once, maybe even twice ok, but if it seems to be every occasion, then I'd drop her. Plus if she asked for money in any kind of way then I'd be quite skeptical. Taxi's and on a date alone then pay for her, at least in the getting to know her stage.
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Re: The Philippines is a shithole, perhaps even for women...

Postby Array9 » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:53 pm

Ghost wrote: I knew she wasn't a virgin, and that was my first error. She was a church-goer, ...........


I realized that a girl who tells you that she goes to church doesn't have much value in the Philippines. I am a Christian but I met tons of "church girls" who were absolute liars and scammers. I guess church was just a way to free themselves from any guilt.

I am not here to preach but I refuse to marry a girl unless she is a virgin. This just comes from years of experience with women.
Men chase, women choose

As long as you have gold in your hand, you will ALWAYS have bread on your table.
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Re: The Philippines is a shithole, perhaps even for women...

Postby hammanta » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:57 pm

Array9 wrote:
Ghost wrote: I knew she wasn't a virgin, and that was my first error. She was a church-goer, ...........


I realized that a girl who tells you that she goes to church doesn't have much value in the Philippines. I am a Christian but I met tons of "church girls" who were absolute liars and scammers. I guess church was just a way to free themselves from any guilt.

I am not here to preach but I refuse to marry a girl unless she is a virgin. This just comes from years of experience with women.


Now is that at the time of marriage is a virgin? or when you meet her is a virgin?

Honestly sexual chemistry matters to me a lot and I'm not sure if I can date a girl for 6, 9, 18 months and not have a slice of the pie. Especially if I plan on marrying her.
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Postby Array9 » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:59 pm

droid wrote:
ghost wrote:and her family invites themselves to tag along to dinners frequently. (Guess who got to pay?)

If you let people disrespect you like that it can only go down hill from there.
It's tough to set boundaries but sometimes you just have to do it.

People will respect you if they see you can just storm out (literally and figuratively).
This requires either not giving a damn about being alone, or having plenty of options (this latter is better of course).


I had this happen to me while in Gingoog City. I went to visit the family of a girl that I was interested in. As I was inside talking to her parents, I noticed a group of people gathering in front of her house. I asked my lady friend why are these people hanging out in front of your house. Her response was "That is my family and some neighbors. I invited them to eat dinner with us" :shock:

To make a long story short, I dumped her and got the heck out of Gingoog the next day.
Men chase, women choose

As long as you have gold in your hand, you will ALWAYS have bread on your table.
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Re: The Philippines is a shithole, perhaps even for women...

Postby Array9 » Thu Sep 04, 2014 2:08 pm

hammanta wrote:
Array9 wrote:
Ghost wrote: I knew she wasn't a virgin, and that was my first error. She was a church-goer, ...........


I realized that a girl who tells you that she goes to church doesn't have much value in the Philippines. I am a Christian but I met tons of "church girls" who were absolute liars and scammers. I guess church was just a way to free themselves from any guilt.

I am not here to preach but I refuse to marry a girl unless she is a virgin. This just comes from years of experience with women.


Now is that at the time of marriage is a virgin? or when you meet her is a virgin?

Honestly sexual chemistry matters to me a lot and I'm not sure if I can date a girl for 6, 9, 18 months and not have a slice of the pie. Especially if I plan on marrying her.


I would say that she has to be a virgin before marriage. If I take her virginity and end up not marrying her, she loses value and she is possibly left with a broken heart. If we are both atracted to each other, I would think that the chemistry will develop. They don't call Filipinas LBFMs for nothing.
Men chase, women choose

As long as you have gold in your hand, you will ALWAYS have bread on your table.
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Postby davewe » Thu Sep 04, 2014 2:13 pm

hammanta wrote:
Banano wrote:Is it true that if you have filipina gf or wife her whole family tries to mooch off you in some way, be it dinners, gifts or money?

How common is this?


If she brings chaperone on the first date it would be fair for that person to pay for everything or else you should pretend to go to the bathroom and slip away leaving them with a huge bill to pay, next time I go PH and she brings entourage that exactly what Im gonna do.


This occurs usually with the weaker minded and emotional troubled men. I myself at times have fallen under this classification as well. Hey love, or the thought of love can make us weak, I understand that.

But if you set boundaries from the start and set her in her place, then you should be fine. That's the advice from a friend of mine who has been married to a filipina for 5 or so years.


Boundaries is the right word here. I am always surprised that some men fall under such a spell that they find themselves incapable of saying "no." Tell the girl what you can or can't do (some guys won't admit that they can't afford to feed everyone) and what you will or won't do. But once you decide to do it, don't blame the girl - you made the decision - learn from the mistake - or just observe and enjoy. A couple of years ago my wife and I were to meet her former boss for lunch in Cebu. The "boss" was a 75 year old woman who spent half of her time living in Leyte and 1/2 her time living in Toronto. I had spoken to her on the phone often and was happy to finally meet her. She arrived with her equally elderly sister and best friend. All 3 women can buy and sell me but I knew that I was the man and I was the "kano" and would end up paying. When the check arrived all 3 women made a big show out of pulling out there senior citizen discount cards to save me a little money lol. But afterwards I was invited to the friend's house, a very large upscale home overlooking Cebu. Spent the afternoon hanging out with a group of rich Filipinos and learned a lot. Also got to drink plenty of their booze; and I'm not talking about San Miguels.

So set boundaries but be open to the possibility that you don't know everything about the culture.
Check out my blog @ www.marriedafilipina.com
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Postby Ghost » Thu Sep 04, 2014 7:12 pm

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » Thu Sep 04, 2014 9:41 pm

The only virgin i met was at church AND she was in no hurry for a boyfriend and was sort of like the whole friendship attitude. She was quite condescending too and aggressive. As a foreigner I dont see the appeal of virgins most likely they wont open up to you easily as a foreigner to find them and if they do they probably have some issues.

You will be very unhappy if you land off the plane to try to snatch an instnt wife. Now if you permanently move there are plan on spending many months you might consider it but i wouldn't even bother looking for a wife with my 6 month plans cause eventually you have to go home and thats where complications arise. If your not retired or broke or not living there forget it. I can live there as long as I want but i aint searching for a wife for 4 reasons 1) i have to go back to america i aint moving there yet and im not gonna marry a woman where i dont want to stay there year around yet 2) its lot of money to stay there and i need to focus on my work i can't be running around courting women all day since im not retired way too much drama and time to do that 3) im not ready anyways 4) I refuse to be stupid enough to bring them to america.
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Postby Repatriate » Fri Sep 05, 2014 3:06 am

I have to disagree with Ghost about the Philippines.

I have had nothing but good experiences in Manila and I think being white can actually be a tremendous liability at times. It's something that mguy and I observed while out and about town as well. A young white guy will have plenty of superficial attention along with random pump and dump but they also have to weed out many more con games & petty theft cases. This is something i've seen first hand and read many times on other forums (including rooshv) as well.

A middle aged white guy has less p' and d' opportunities but the target on his back has become so much larger too because he no longer has the "hansum white man" qualities to fall back on and now only has the reputation of being a rich kano. A few regular posters on here like Ladislav have more or less come to terms with this and they do semi-p4p with sponsoring and such.

When you take the time to weed out the girls and use sensible judgement then there are plenty of decent and sweet girls out there that won't try to sponge off of you. I met a few who were not interested in doing things like this and even brought me homemade seafood dinners and such.

I think what it all boils down to is using common sense. If she seems a bit too sly or eager to spend your money then DITCH HER RIGHT AWAY. It doesn't matter how good she looks, sever and don't look back. If her family seems conniving and start worming their way into your initial interaction with her then sever. It seems like Ghost persisted through several red flags and he's angry that he got burnt. It's unfortunate this is how things ended up but just from reading his account of the matter it seems like there was plenty of warning.

Btw, if a filipina is not eager to have sex with you (and never intitiates after you've done it already) then she really doesn't like you at all. It's a big red flag.
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » Fri Sep 05, 2014 4:16 am

Repatriate wrote:I have to disagree with Ghost about the Philippines.

I have had nothing but good experiences in Manila and I think being white can actually be a tremendous liability at times. It's something that mguy and I observed while out and about town as well. A young white guy will have plenty of superficial attention along with random pump and dump but they also have to weed out many more con games & petty theft cases. This is something i've seen first hand and read many times on other forums (including rooshv) as well.

A middle aged white guy has less p' and d' opportunities but the target on his back has become so much larger too because he no longer has the "hansum white man" qualities to fall back on and now only has the reputation of being a rich kano. A few regular posters on here like Ladislav have more or less come to terms with this and they do semi-p4p with sponsoring and such.

When you take the time to weed out the girls and use sensible judgement then there are plenty of decent and sweet girls out there that won't try to sponge off of you. I met a few who were not interested in doing things like this and even brought me homemade seafood dinners and such.

I think what it all boils down to is using common sense. If she seems a bit too sly or eager to spend your money then DITCH HER RIGHT AWAY. It doesn't matter how good she looks, sever and don't look back. If her family seems conniving and start worming their way into your initial interaction with her then sever. It seems like Ghost persisted through several red flags and he's angry that he got burnt. It's unfortunate this is how things ended up but just from reading his account of the matter it seems like there was plenty of warning.

Btw, if a filipina is not eager to have sex with you (and never intitiates after you've done it already) then she really doesn't like you at all. It's a big red flag.


Some girls just aren't into sex though unfortunately but yeah my live in never initiated sex and the bargirl i had before even though she pretended to love many times a day she never initiated usually so i figured it was just a good act (she was over the top). So yeah i agree i take it as a bad sign or a girl with low libido and excitement. either way i dont like it and refuse to settle down with a girl like that permanently.
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