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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Postby MarcosZeitola » Fri Sep 05, 2014 12:04 pm

Repatriate wrote:I agree there are quite a few of these super virtuous type women as well. You just have to show a willingness to commit and be a good enough judge of character to make sure it's worth the effort.


She doesn't have to be super virtuous, really. Some are simply shy or insecure. Others are very dutiful to there family, following the "no boyfriends and sex before finishing your studies" rule that seems to be quite popular among all families in the Philippines that display any form of ambition to get ahead in life. Her being super virtuous or overtly religious might even be a drawback as she wouldn't put out. I wouldn't advice going for a girl you met in church or something who may very well be a gigantic prude for all you know.

My own girlfriend and now wife, is Catholic but not extremely so. She was dutiful towards her family, studying hard to please them. Moved out young to go to a good university far from her family's house, and continued to work on her future there. Her family is honest, hard-working, but sadly in dept because it is expensive even for the middle class to send your children to higher education especially if it's a good university or college.

I've never been screwed over by my in-laws, ever. They are honest people. When I met my father-in-law for the first time he asked me what my intentions are with his daughter. I told her I love her and see her as a part of my future, and that in time I would marry her. He then gave me his blessing and we've been on very good terms ever since. He told me he was uncertain about us at first but since I was handsome and his wife loved the idea of mestiza grandchildren he had kept an open mind. Then when we met we became friends and all was fine. They have been advising me financially and helping me fro there on out, and warned me on which people to trust and which people not to, how to avoid being scammed and what an acceptable price is for any given service. If I would rent a car, for example, they would tell me the price THEY would pay for it, and if I am charged more I know how to negotiate so that I too pay the Filipino price, not the "rich stupid Americano price".

Filipino's are not always honest, it is true. But if you have connections they can help you navigate in the country without getting to broke. Your stay will be a lot cheaper that way. I pay what Filipino's pay, and some doctors even charge us less because they like me. It's all about keeping a watchful eye, being around the right people and a healthy dose of luck doesn't hurt either. But of course we must not forget that in a third world country, strangers will occasionally try to get a little extra out of you for being foreign. Annoying? Sure, but if I am entirely honest I would probably do the same thing if I were in their shoes.

My advice to everyone here whining of how "dishonest" Filipino's are? Don't be stupid. They only get to screw you over if you are stupid or gullible, and you'll wise up quick enough if you're not a fool. If you don't, better head home.
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Postby Rock » Fri Sep 05, 2014 1:00 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:
Repatriate wrote:I agree there are quite a few of these super virtuous type women as well. You just have to show a willingness to commit and be a good enough judge of character to make sure it's worth the effort.


She doesn't have to be super virtuous, really. Some are simply shy or insecure. Others are very dutiful to there family, following the "no boyfriends and sex before finishing your studies" rule that seems to be quite popular among all families in the Philippines that display any form of ambition to get ahead in life. Her being super virtuous or overtly religious might even be a drawback as she wouldn't put out. I wouldn't advice going for a girl you met in church or something who may very well be a gigantic prude for all you know.

My own girlfriend and now wife, is Catholic but not extremely so. She was dutiful towards her family, studying hard to please them. Moved out young to go to a good university far from her family's house, and continued to work on her future there. Her family is honest, hard-working, but sadly in dept because it is expensive even for the middle class to send your children to higher education especially if it's a good university or college.

I've never been screwed over by my in-laws, ever. They are honest people. When I met my father-in-law for the first time he asked me what my intentions are with his daughter. I told her I love her and see her as a part of my future, and that in time I would marry her. He then gave me his blessing and we've been on very good terms ever since. He told me he was uncertain about us at first but since I was handsome and his wife loved the idea of mestiza grandchildren he had kept an open mind. Then when we met we became friends and all was fine. They have been advising me financially and helping me fro there on out, and warned me on which people to trust and which people not to, how to avoid being scammed and what an acceptable price is for any given service. If I would rent a car, for example, they would tell me the price THEY would pay for it, and if I am charged more I know how to negotiate so that I too pay the Filipino price, not the "rich stupid Americano price".

Filipino's are not always honest, it is true. But if you have connections they can help you navigate in the country without getting to broke. Your stay will be a lot cheaper that way. I pay what Filipino's pay, and some doctors even charge us less because they like me. It's all about keeping a watchful eye, being around the right people and a healthy dose of luck doesn't hurt either. But of course we must not forget that in a third world country, strangers will occasionally try to get a little extra out of you for being foreign. Annoying? Sure, but if I am entirely honest I would probably do the same thing if I were in their shoes.

My advice to everyone here whining of how "dishonest" Filipino's are? Don't be stupid. They only get to screw you over if you are stupid or gullible, and you'll wise up quick enough if you're not a fool. If you don't, better head home.


Your attitude about local people in the Philippines (backed by personal experience) is similar to mine. The good ones here will keep an eye out for you. And it doesn't seem very hard to tell who's who as the bad apples often seem to wear their intentions on their sleeves.
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Postby Ghost » Fri Sep 05, 2014 4:42 pm

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Last edited by Ghost on Fri Oct 28, 2016 3:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby davewe » Fri Sep 05, 2014 4:58 pm

MarcosZeitola wrote:
Repatriate wrote:I agree there are quite a few of these super virtuous type women as well. You just have to show a willingness to commit and be a good enough judge of character to make sure it's worth the effort.


She doesn't have to be super virtuous, really. Some are simply shy or insecure. Others are very dutiful to there family, following the "no boyfriends and sex before finishing your studies" rule that seems to be quite popular among all families in the Philippines that display any form of ambition to get ahead in life. Her being super virtuous or overtly religious might even be a drawback as she wouldn't put out. I wouldn't advice going for a girl you met in church or something who may very well be a gigantic prude for all you know.

My own girlfriend and now wife, is Catholic but not extremely so. She was dutiful towards her family, studying hard to please them. Moved out young to go to a good university far from her family's house, and continued to work on her future there. Her family is honest, hard-working, but sadly in dept because it is expensive even for the middle class to send your children to higher education especially if it's a good university or college.

I've never been screwed over by my in-laws, ever. They are honest people. When I met my father-in-law for the first time he asked me what my intentions are with his daughter. I told her I love her and see her as a part of my future, and that in time I would marry her. He then gave me his blessing and we've been on very good terms ever since. He told me he was uncertain about us at first but since I was handsome and his wife loved the idea of mestiza grandchildren he had kept an open mind. Then when we met we became friends and all was fine. They have been advising me financially and helping me fro there on out, and warned me on which people to trust and which people not to, how to avoid being scammed and what an acceptable price is for any given service. If I would rent a car, for example, they would tell me the price THEY would pay for it, and if I am charged more I know how to negotiate so that I too pay the Filipino price, not the "rich stupid Americano price".

Filipino's are not always honest, it is true. But if you have connections they can help you navigate in the country without getting to broke. Your stay will be a lot cheaper that way. I pay what Filipino's pay, and some doctors even charge us less because they like me. It's all about keeping a watchful eye, being around the right people and a healthy dose of luck doesn't hurt either. But of course we must not forget that in a third world country, strangers will occasionally try to get a little extra out of you for being foreign. Annoying? Sure, but if I am entirely honest I would probably do the same thing if I were in their shoes.

My advice to everyone here whining of how "dishonest" Filipino's are? Don't be stupid. They only get to screw you over if you are stupid or gullible, and you'll wise up quick enough if you're not a fool. If you don't, better head home.


+1000
I might normally have reacted a little bit condescendingly and said "fantastic insights for a guy so young." But the truth is they are fantastic insights for any age. I wish some of my peers had your perspective. Most don't. Hold on to this and don't let the negative experience/views of others cloud what you have already discovered.
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Postby davewe » Fri Sep 05, 2014 5:24 pm

Ghost wrote:

I think 1000-6000 peso taxi rides are a bit more than "extra." The foreigner gets everything marked up several hundred percent.

My advice to everyone here whining of how "dishonest" Filipino's are? Don't be stupid. They only get to screw you over if you are stupid or gullible, and you'll wise up quick enough if you're not a fool. If you don't, better head home.


See, when you are in their country it is virtually impossible to not get screwed. You need to go from A to B and you need a taxi. So you wait for an honest taxi driver.

Use the meter please, sir. *He drives off*

1000? That's too expensive. How about 500? *He drives off*

It isn't that far. How about 400 for this short trip? It's only a few kilometers away and no traffic right now. *He drives off*



I wrote a recent posting on lying and liars in the Philippines and while it mostly attempted to be humorous and light, I perhaps failed to give my strongest view. That is that we are men and we are responsible for our actions and for what happens to us. Would anyone go into a car dealership and pay sticker price on a car? Of course not. You would do your research, get on the Internet and find out what the price ought to be. You'd contact more than one dealership and get the best price, etc.

So what do you do in a 3rd world nation (and it's an issue in a lot more than just the Philippines)? I have had many such issues with cabs. Information is your friend. An example. We arrived by ferry in Dumaguete in April, tired and ready to get to the hotel. A couple guys grabbed us and spoke to my wife in Visayan. How much for a trike? She told me they said 300 pesos ($7). I thought I remembered that the hotel was close to the ferry but wasn't sure. I suspected that 300 was too much but we wanted to get to the hotel and said fine. After arriving at the hotel and dumping our bags we wanted to go to the mall. I did what I always do. I went down to the front desk and told the desk clerk where we wanted to go and asked how much should it cost. Trikes go anywhere in Duma for a flat rate, I was told. As I recall it was 10 pesos/person, so obviously we way overpaid for the 1st ride. We got outside and a trike driver asked us if we needed a ride. How much to the mall, I asked. He smiled and answered 50 pesos. I said, "that's strange. I was told that trikes are 10p anywhere in Duma." "Yes, sir, that's true. Perhaps you will also give me a tip." "We'll see," I responded. From then on I never asked "how much." We hopped in the trike, drove to our destination and paid the rate. Generally I would give 25p. I knew what I was supposed to pay and they knew that I knew. Frankly I found such a system refreshing. No meters, no negotiating, no wondering if the meter is accurate - just get out and give the flat rate. Information is your friend.

Another time I was in Kenya. Took a 1/2 hour trike ride. Got out and asked the cabbie how much? "Whatever you wish sir," I was told. We debated for several minutes with me saying, "How do I know how much!" "Whatever you wish to give sir." In the end I gave him the equivalent of $4. Once again I went into the hotel, described my trip and asked the front desk clerk how much I should have paid. $.40 was the answer. So from then on I knew and paid accordingly.

My bottom line is - I don't need to be mad. I don't need to assume everyone will try to rip me off (although some may). I simply need to man up and know what I'm doing. And even if you feel you've been cheated - learn from it to avoid it the next time.
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Postby Ghost » Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:49 pm

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Postby ringspun » Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:59 pm

I was in PI for 3 weeks in 2012, I personally way prefered Thailand for the food, the women and the safety was far higher.

P.I is like Thailand in recession, if there is such a thing.

The girls in P.I did speak better English, thats about it.

I wouldn't go back.
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » Fri Sep 05, 2014 7:46 pm

ringspun wrote:I was in PI for 3 weeks in 2012, I personally way prefered Thailand for the food, the women and the safety was far higher.

P.I is like Thailand in recession, if there is such a thing.

The girls in P.I did speak better English, thats about it.

I wouldn't go back.


well yeah for 3 weeks stay definitely thailand. But most guys prefer philippines cause its easy to stay longer periods. hard to stay in thailand longer due to visa and also women dont speak english. I dont know how to relate to women if they dont know english. Its like being with a corpse.
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Postby davewe » Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:10 pm

Ghost wrote:Right, because any sane man should be willing to do that for the rest of his life. So far, no one has said anything to contest what I said earlier: Foreigners are prey in the Philippines. Walking money bags to be exploited and discarded.


Any sane man must spend the rest of his life being smart, no matter where he lives. And from what I read a lot of guys contested what you said. You just didn't want to hear, which is your right I suppose.

Like a few others here on HA, the Philippines isn't for you. The sooner you figure that out the happier you will be.

OTOH, I am looking forward to your future reports detailing how you pumped and dumped and ended up with a virgin :)
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Postby newlifeinphilippines » Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:44 pm

davewe wrote:
Ghost wrote:Right, because any sane man should be willing to do that for the rest of his life. So far, no one has said anything to contest what I said earlier: Foreigners are prey in the Philippines. Walking money bags to be exploited and discarded.


Any sane man must spend the rest of his life being smart, no matter where he lives. And from what I read a lot of guys contested what you said. You just didn't want to hear, which is your right I suppose.

Like a few others here on HA, the Philippines isn't for you. The sooner you figure that out the happier you will be.

OTOH, I am looking forward to your future reports detailing how you pumped and dumped and ended up with a virgin :)


so where is the future spot? Indonesia? They dont allow visa. Brazil and columbia where there is massive crime and language issues? I think every country has problems. Most likely the women are even worse elsewhere.
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Postby Ghost » Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:47 pm

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Postby MarcosZeitola » Fri Sep 05, 2014 10:16 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote:Most likely the women are even worse elsewhere.


There's this thing called karma, buddy.

You have a lot of awesome women in the world, but they tend to go for awesome men. You also got a lot of men who aren't so awesome... and there's less awesome women waiting for them! The problem arises when a less desirable woman believes she deserves a man who's awesome. Or when a not-so-awesome man thinks he deserves an awesome woman. If you whine and complain and treat people badly, you will find people on your path who will treat you accordingly. Filipina women (and men) aren't any better or worse then Westerners or Africans or what-have-you... they're just different. And it's okay to be different! Thing is, when a group of people is different, that means you have to adapt. Did you adapt? No. But I did, as did Dave, as did OutWest, as did Yohan, as did Duende, as did a multitude of guys. And those guys are the successful ones.

The guy who will find an awesome woman in the Philippines, is usually the guy deserving of that woman. And the guys who end up with bar girls deserve to end up with bar girls. And sure, it will likely leave you disillusioned. But you brought that to yourself with your lousy attitude. You can go to Indonesia or Brazil or anywhere in this world... you would say "these girls are even worse!" but in reality, it's you who's as bad as them. :wink:

Ghost wrote:Maybe I'll hunt a few them and leave them broken. I'm finished playing the good guy, living by a code that no others care to follow.


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Postby Winston » Fri Sep 05, 2014 10:29 pm

OP,
Why would you leave lots of cash in your belongings? That's stupid. No one does that. Everyone carries their cash on them. Put your cash in your FRONT pocket. Don't carry too much either. Just around $200 at a time. Then you won't lose much even if you do get robbed or pickpocketed. Everyone knows this. Come on now.

I've never understood why some guys carry around $500 or more in cash with them. That's unnecessary.
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Postby ladislav » Fri Sep 05, 2014 11:18 pm

I am not blaming the OP. Good people in the Philippines are hard to find. Any Filipino will tell you that he doesn't trust 80 percent of people there.

But they are out there. I know some people whom I can trust fully. Also, keep in mind that richer Filipinos get used as much as rich Kano. This is why the rich ones stay behind thick fences. And only hang out with the same class of people. The middle class never mingle with poorer ones because they will be ripped off.

But even among those, the same thing happens- borrowed money, ran away, didn't pay back. Lied and pretended had a problem but didn't. Tag along with richer ones to get a freebie. They do it all the time among themselves. So many people do that. That's how corrupt it is.

My saving grace is that I am originally from a country which is even more corrupt. They do the same things there. But it's much more violent where I come from.

In my case, I like the culture. And foreigners having a bad reputation there? I would rather be a foreigner there than in many other places.

But that's just me

Looks like the Philippines is not for you. Just like Thailand is not for me.

What small town were you in? Sounds like somewhere in Samar
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Postby droid » Sat Sep 06, 2014 12:18 am

newlifeinphilippines wrote:so where is the future spot? Indonesia? They dont allow visa. Brazil and columbia where there is massive crime and language issues? I think every country has problems. Most likely the women are even worse elsewhere.
Try North Korea, that's kind of untapped.
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