Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
So I am married to a Filipina. According to some people on here, that makes her subhuman scum and basically a liar by default. We have a daughter, too. That kind of makes her subhuman, untrustworthy and a future whore. Right? Because all Filipino's are horrible and the country sucks so much. Generalizations, generalizations, generalizations, it's so tiring.
I can see how you would come up with an opinion like this. I actually understand where it is coming from, the source of it. I assume most of us who've been in the Philippines have seen Manila, right? It's overcrowded, dirty, criminal and corrupt. Jaywalking can very well get you killed, cabs and trikes love making you pay more than is the norm and you must never, ever, take a cab from the airport as every single cab will overcharge you. Always. People are more Western in behavior, try to emulate America. Teenagers and students drink more, party harder, sleep around more often. Morals are looser, people are more urban and modern in ways, but on Sunday they still go to one of the millions of churches, big or small, go down on their little brown knees and pray to Jesus and Mother Mary to be forgiven for their many sins. And then they burn a little candle, make the sign of the cross and get back into Manila's nightlife to sin some more, so they won't bore the priest at their next confession. "Forgive me father, for I have sucked five dicks last week!" "You are forgiven my child, if you say fifty hail Mary's and give me your phone number and what are you doing next Tuesday?"
There's life outside Manila though. Outside the big cities, the urban areas, the vacation spots and the spas. Outside all that attracts the more well-to-do visitors. If you want to meet someone more pure of heart and morals, you will have to go more rural. There are, of course, also good people in the bigger cities but most of them will be recent arrivals. A poor girl who got lucky enough to study in a University in the capital, for example. She may do it just to support her family, hoping for a good job and a chance in life to help her family. She may work as a cleaning lady on the side, she may teach pupils English, she may give lessons online or what-have-you. I was lucky enough to find a girl like that and when I did, as soon as her education was finished, I brought her home to her parents again, married her and got her away from the big city with its corrupt ways. Then I married this subhuman scum of a girl, and we had a beautiful, lovely subhuman daughter. I got a little tan during my stay, so I suppose I became a little subhuman myself in the process, especially since I discovered the joys of cheap liquor and started eating rice three times a day. At this point I am so Filipino-ized that I qualify for subhuman lying scum status too.
Seriously though, I met a lot of amazing people. I also met my share of horrible people. I met the worst people in the cities. The upper middle class, the higher class Filipino's who looked down on everyone who was poor and also called them subhuman scum the same way many Americans seem to do. They talked down to them, patronized them and acted as if they were toddlers around them. They assumed my uncle-in-law would not know how to use a television, explaining him the use of a remote the way one would talk to a toddler. He then informed them that, though he may live in the province, he actually owns a fairly new television. Said uncle works as a teacher, studied philosophy, is a smart man and an original thinker who I've had many great talks with. And yet they arrogantly assumed he must be some yokel just because he lives outside of Manila! Among the poorer relatives, I have met the nicest of people. The warmest of people. Even so, the ones in Manila were a little more worldly, a little more distant and a little more cold to me. It was always the provincial Filipinos with whom I felt most at home, who were genuinely interested in me and who insisted on paying everything, all the time. Even if they had so little money they'd have to borrow to make a good meal, as I was later told by my wife. It was almost painful to see, but heartwarming.
The only time I ever felt I was taken advantage of was when I stayed with a relative of my wife in Manila. This (distant) relative made us pay for everything, and after taking us to the mall by jeepney (she insisted we accompany her) tried to make me pay for a cab ride home. I told her she ought to pay for it as she was the one who invited us in the first place, after which she decided we take a jeepney instead, the c**t.
During my stay in the Philippines I have re-evaluated a lot of my previous viewpoints. While I saw others confirmed. Stereotypes, I learned, are just that: stereotypes. The poorest of the poorest you'd expect to rip you off, can turn out to be the kindest people you'll ever encounter. And then when you dine with a family you know has plenty of money to pay for themselves, you may find yourself in the unpleasant situation where after dinner (even if said dinner was THEIR idea to begin with!) they will assume you will pay their bill.
Every country has its rotten apple, and so does every family. My wife's family has a couple of very nasty, selfish and greedy relatives that I have come to loathe. My wife does not defend them, agrees with me fully and so do her parents. These people suck balls, and she always took my side when the issue came up. The vast majority of her family are honest, decent, lovely people. But some of the relatives who went abroad, went to Manila or somehow made more money and had a degree of success became arrogant, spiteful people with a serious attitude problem.
If there's one thing I've learned in the Philippines, it is this: the most subhuman, the biggest scum, the greatest thieves, are more often than not those who already have it made. The ones who steal most, the ones who need the money least. But if you marry into the right family, they'll go to hell and back for you.
Last edited by MarcosZeitola on Mon Jul 27, 2015 5:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Generalizations are useful because otherwise it would be needlessly difficult to talk about anything. And we can always allow for exceptions, as long as we recognize that exceptions do not prove a rule. They are outliers only.
That's a pretty funny (yet depressing) and accurate look at it. It's all a big shameless orgy of lies and fake-ness.
There is no way to finance a life in the provinces for a foreigner, aside from already having the money. There are no jobs to speak of, even in Manila. Eventually you will realize being dirt poor (by choice) is not pleasant in the long run and look for a way out. And your wife won't still care for you if you don't work and do something to provide. You're still in adventure mode. Look at Taco. He lived like a Filipino for, what, two years or so. Then he eventually realized he couldn't keep doing it.
As a side note: you should really watch the white rice. I think that is a major reason why most flips are so unhealthy. They get fat and unhealthy, and I recall not seeing a lot of old people around...
So go out to the provinces, find a good woman, and intentionally impoverish yourself until you realize you can't do it anymore. How do you support yourself in the provinces? Even if you found work out there, it pays subsistence wages at best. Even with a cheap cost of living, savings will disappear eventually. You either are rich/have passive income or you need to face it: your little adventure will end one day.
And all it will take is one time of her not supporting you. You'll be f***ed and taking an emergency flight out of the country.
Some men go to a country and meet mostly awesome people. Other men meet only shitty people. Some guys win the lottery, whereas others never do. It's a matter of attitude, if anything. To dismiss an entire country based on a few negative encounters is doing a disservice to yourself.
That's how I see Manila. It can best be summed up in one word: fake. Like I know of a girl, a friend of the wife, who'd always carry around the latest books. As it turns out, she never actually read the books - a minor detail, she thought. She just carried them with her to seem interesting and intellectual to guys she would meet. The only reason she went to University (the girl is rich) is also status, as she'll likely never work a day in her life. Fake, cold, and distant. A fake smile and fake words to keep her fake friends happy. Which is exactly why I am staying far away from Manila. Outside in the provinces, people are more down-to-earth, real and authentic. I was describing the contrast to show you how people aren't necessarily always the same in every part of the country, and that traveling around seeing different places and people will teach you that.
There actually are a multitude of ways, my pessimistic friend. I am a journalist by trade, and the place my wife and I will live in with our family has a decent internet connection. As a result I will be able to continue writing, sending and selling my articles to make a few hundred bucks a month. Ideally I'd have about a thousand a month (life's cheap in the province but not THAT cheap), so I would need additional sources of income which I will make from farm lands I intend on purchasing with help of my in-laws. Together the two sources of income will be enough for me and my family to live quite comfortably, provided we don't get too crazy with the expenses. You don't need a job and a boss to make a living, there's other ways. I have it all figured out, made a business plan and a computation of costs, and it's all doable if I save for about half a year longer. Somewhere next year I will be able to make the permanent move abroad.
Now you also mentioned my wife not caring for me if I can't provide money? You clearly do not know my wife. She'd rather live with me in poverty then with any other guy in riches, as she loves me and is devoted to me and our family. Not all Filipina's are immoral gold diggers, and if you continue to think of them like that your own cynicism will be the end of you and all potential happiness that you might otherwise have had.
As for the rice and lack of old people? My wife's great-grandmother is still alive, in her late nineties. One of her great-grandparents died at the age of 102. I think we'll be fine, but thanks for your concern anyway. I love rice, meat, spices. My wife's a great cook and has changed her style of cooking to my liking (as in: no fish sauce, sweeter or spicier dishes, so forth). Even if it's unhealthy, well, so be it. I'd rather die at seventy-five having eaten well and lived comfortably then die at ninety having lived as an unhappy malnourished health-freak haha.
I am not rich and am in no hurry to become permanently employed. I enjoy being my own boss, having my own responsibility and being my own person. I am not saying this won't ever change but so far, I'm taking things as they come. Life's treated me good and I assume life will continue to treat me good, as I'm an optimist at heart. Some people have a defeatist attitude. As is there right. But with such an attitude, success and good fortune are not among your options. We all get what we deserve in the end.
Again, you do not know my wife. I am her family and she has my back. I would not have ever considered moving to a third world country if I didn't have a first class wife by my side.
It's not only about Filipinas. I am married to a Japanese woman and I got similar remarks, of course also abusive remarks about my 2 daughters.
I have a friend married with a Thai woman since many years, with children, similar remarks.
There are just some people out on the internet, both men and women, mostly from US and UK, who cannot understand that some Western men do not find or do not want to be married with a Western woman and choose an Asian woman instead.
There is nothing you can do about it, ignore such people, any explanation is time-waste.
I take care of a Filipina child from Mindanao since about 10 years, and I am visiting Philippines since maybe 25 years or longer, and we have also Filipina staff with us here in Tokyo. I know many Filipinos in Cebu and in Tokyo.
Many are good, but we had also troubles with some of them. Like everywhere else, in Philippines many men and women are good, but some are truly garbage.
Same can be said also about Western foreigners in Philippines or Thailand and other developing countries in Asia. - Many Western foreigners who decide to become expats are good and have honest intentions, but a certain number of them are idiots, and often even criminals, violent alcoholics, into drugs, sex with minors, liars and abusers...
For sure, it is not only from the bad Filipina to the good Western man...
and for sure not only in Philippines are slums, I have seen slums also in USA.
About Philippines, it's really not a place for everybody coming in from Western countries. If you cannot accept to live with a certain level of poverty, criminality, mismanagement, corruption etc. next to your door, then better stay where you are living now.
Its not only in Philippines. I'm from a third world country India. A place far worse than Philippines.
The thing is every country on earth has these drops of good people around, that makes the job of other good guys even harder. It seems, the darkness has deliberately put these good people in all bad countries to suffer at the same time, suck in good guys and then exploit them.
India is far worse and you will hate India, however, you will also comes across wonderful Indians and will have nice things to say, same in Thailand, China etc etc...
We should stop blaming each other. I truly believe what the OP said is 100% correct, at the same time, I cannot deny what ghost has experienced because I went through the same emotional state.
When I was scammed, I generalized everything and put everyone in same box to keep my sanity. It made me cautious of another human being itself and then I remembered the good people in Philippines and wonderful time I had with them and the balance was restored in my mind.
Even after six trips and living for years in Philippines in and out. I'm still not able to arrive at a conclusion either way.
Yeah, no offense, but India is a place I never intend to go. Philippines must be a paradise in comparison.
I do feel bad for these good people in these cesspools. There are honorable ones, and I never suggested otherwise. My ex-gf's father is a good man. He's a devout Christian, invited me into his home, and even warned me about scammers and thieves. But I could never waste so much time and money trying to find them when I can go much easier to many other places and find better women, work, and have residence.
I feel bad for the good ones stuck there, but there's nothing I can do about them. And I completely understand about putting everyone into boxes to keep your sanity. It's why I say we need generalizations. We wouldn't be able to handle anything in life without generalizations. If 95/100 people will rob you, you generalize and assume they all will. If you didn't generalize, you'll probably lose all your money.
That's why man... That's why these third world countries never get anywhere... Vietnam, Senegal, Thailand, Philippines, Nigeria. First the truths are shamefully hidden and then people start with sob stories crying lies... Who f*cked you and didn't pay you Marcos... that's what would be worth seeing.
Young Hemingway, we are cheering for you, but Ghostman also speaks words of wisdom
Regarding Manila (which it is well known I do not like): I went to school in the early 70s in New York City. It was just as bad as Manila: crime, pollution, traffic, buildings crumbling, infrastructure, etc. NYC is much better now but at the time it was a pit, albeit a pit that had some excitement too. But I knew scores of New Yorkers that thought it was the greatest place in the world.
As to the attitude of some regarding the Philippines, there's a reason many of us are called Ugly Americans. Most Westerners do not do well in the 3rd world and have an arrogant, superior attitude to the residents. A quick story: My ex-wife and I went to Trinidad and Tobago for our honeymoon 20 years ago. We stayed for a few days at her cousin's house in Trinidad. The ex and cousin were talking and I was bored. I began to flip through her CD collection. The week before we were in NYC and a friend gave us tickets to Phantom, which at the time was the toast of Broadway. The cousin had a CD of the Phantom soundtrack. I bragged, "We just saw Phantom on Broadway." Her cousin replied in her clipped almost British accent, "Yes,we liked the Broadway production, but preferred the Toronto production. Of course the London production was the best of them all." I just sat there with my mouth open.
Yes the Philippines is a poor country. But don't make negative assumptions about its people. Like everywhere there are good and bad but in PI they are mostly good.
Check out my blog @ www.marriedafilipina.com
Filipinas are awesome!
Why do you think that military men. The most in shape American Men, with a job. These military men travel the world but keep marrying Filipinas. This is because after sampling p***y from around the world Filipinas are the best.
Thanks and Cheers
There ya go, let's all follow the lead of a bunch of undersexed 19 yo enlisted guys arriving in a Phillipines port...fresh off the boat not having seen a woman in 4 months. Oh ya, the same military guys that will shag an old shoe LOL. The finest connoisseurs of p***y in the world, regular international playboys.
By the way, the astronomical divorce rate of military men married to filipina and thai wives have left a city full of them in Miramar, CA.
No knock on filipinas, other than some having standards so low they end up married with military men in 2 weeks...Meanwhile, Chinese, Korean, Taiwanese and Japanese women won't touch these guys with a 10 ft pole unless they are the kind dancing with it
Last edited by Lorenzo on Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
no knock on foreigners but majority of filipinas wouldnt touch military men with a 10 ft pole...
the ones who do get involved are usually from the slums and are desperate as f**k...and probably ugly
Eh, did I just fall through some portal into a surreal parallel universe where members of the US military are not the scum of the earth? Next you will be claiming the pigs are some kind of social elite.
1. Military men have a job and income.
2. Military men travel.
Which has fuck-all to do with morality, which is what Cornfed was talking about.
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