steve55 wrote:Duende, that's not necessarily true. Unless you've been there, you can't fully know the truth. Most of the time, the girls actually like thie guy if he is kind and nice to her and not some 400 pound smelly slob. I've talked to these girls and over and over again, the bar girls told me that they "enjoy" the sex and partying and hanging out with the guys who bar fine them. And how do you explain that on two different occasions I had bar girls shed tears when I came by to say bye to them as I was leaving back to the US. In my honest genuine feeling, the attention the girls pay to the guys is usually genuine. You got to understand that yes, the girls are at the bar to get paid but also the bar environment is simply a conduit which brought the guy and girl together and after that, it's up to the guy and girl how things go. Girls have the right to decline a bar fine and often they do. What's that tell you ? There is a lot of choice by the girls which means they go with guys if they like him. This is what the girls have told me directly.
I don't doubt many bargirls are just girls from poor backgrounds, average-looking to pretty, who don't mind having sex with multiple men to support their young kids or families. I don't doubt some (of many) of them will be happy, if not eager, to display genuine affection and create a bond with some of their punters. At worst, it gives them a chance to choose the more decent, more respectful and better looking men (as you by no doubt are) as their repeat customers. At best, it gives them a shot at winning the heart of one or two of them, who could them give them bona-fide financial support or even marry them and be their get out of misery ticket.
Most bargirls are just there to offer the best of what they have, which as we know isn't just their bodies and cute smiles, but that sweet and naive femininity that can groom the ego of the low self-esteem, sexually-frustrated average Western man to dizzy heights. That's what I am sure Winston fell in love with, as he roamed the AC bargirl scene: he's surely a few notches better than the 50+, fat and nasty man and could easily command more charm, more attention and probably some of the cuter girls. Plus he had the time and money, so he was the proverbial boy in a candy store with his mommy's purse full of dollars.
Still, it's prostitutes we're talking about, Steve. Maybe not everybody's girls, if they can choose who they want to be barfined and taken home by, but several men's girls. Of course they would have to tell you (like everybody else) they "enjoy being with you", it's part of the storyline. And it's probably true that, given a choice, they would be much rather barfined by you than by a 400 pound smelly slob.
steve55 wrote:Now, that isn' to say that sometimes the girls wouldnt have dated the guy if they weren't being paid to be at the bar (since they would maybe have other dating options and other things to do). The fact is that these girls are so nice that it isn't hard for them to like a man in these situations, even if it's a barfine that brought them together. Filipinas really arnt nearly as picky as western women so it's pretty easy for them to like just about any guy who is nice.
Maybe so Steve, but given the fact that it's still easy enough to find a cute young woman who is not rock-bottom destitute, has a decent education and maybe a decent job,
why take the risk with an AC bargirl? Any man worth his salt, no matter how old and mediocre looking, can be introduced one of such girls, or start a chat with her in the mall or in a legit nightlife situation, or just meet her through one of the many dating sites. Are some people really so lazy they prefer to choose their prospective gf or wife from a meat buffet where they wear skimpy outfits and colourful numbers? That sounds off to me, especially if they have a measure of dignity and
savoir faire with the ladies?
Last but not least, consider one thing. Mr Jones could be falling in love and put a ring on an AC bargirl's finger and live with her in the US in virtual isolation, with almost nobody knowing who she is and what she did. If he plans to spend some time living in the Philippines, a naturally gregarious (and nosy and judgemental) society, as a Westerner romantically involved with an ex-bargirl he will receive very little respect by his local community. Maybe people in AC are used to sexpats and mongers living in the area with their young bar scene catches, but cities like Davao or smaller villages will not see that with the same lenient eyes. When I was in Davao I heard of foreigners who were even established businessmen but were known for their lewd womanising and were hated at worst and isolated at best in any social situation. No decent family wo0uld want to have anything to do with them, which would push them further down in the gutter when it came to their dating options.
steve55 wrote:The bar serves as a way for the guy and girl to get together, and once a filipina is with a guy for "any" reason how they met, even a barfine, it is extremely easy for the girls to "go" with it and have a sincere genuine good time and good sex with you. Hell dude, I could hardly get rid of the girls I barfined the next day. I had to "kick" them out most times!! That doesn't sound like a 100% "money only" thing to me, does it to you ? Half the time, the girls would stay with me days after for free!! They would give me their number and date me without expecting anything afterwards. Such a thing Is not uncommon. How do you explain that or explain their shedding tears when you simply come by to say goodbye? It's not as if they thought faking tears was going to bring a tip from me.
My first fiancé was a bargirl by the way, and lots of American men marry bargirls too. I personally witnessed an ameircan guy i met at my hotel who I buddied around with end up marrying a bar girl. I was there when they met, when she was on stage! He sent me wedding photos later. It's easy for men to blindly say "it's fake affections becuase the guy is paying for the barfine" . Guys who think that do not know the Philippines. Maybe it's that way in colombia (your stomping ground) and America duende , but the Filipinas are nothing like American women who have no feelings for guys who pay for their lap dance or whatever . Many of these Filipinas are fresh from the farm so to speak, so especially at first, they feel good to be with a man even if it's arranged from working at a bar. Well, that's my two cents worth.
Sure, the bar serves as a conduit, yet I can think of so many other better conduits for social interaction and romantic involvement. Again, besides the curiosity to explore and a desire to placate momentary horniness, I don't understand why a decent man would take his chances on bargirl when there are so many better options.
I don't judge you for having a bargirl ex-gf Steve, but let me say I respect you a lot more now you have chosen a sweet and feminine yet morally sound and smart Filipina as your fiancee. I wish you all the luck you deserve.