Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2419
Joined: December 13th, 2013, 3:06 pm

Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

Where to go to make a deal with the family to marry a woman? Seems like that would be the best option cause the woman can be vouched by her family and chances are she will be very hot and probably a virgin to boot. Forget courting and dating and all the drama just slap money down to the parents and fly off with your bride. :D

India? or do the only want their daughter to marry indians.
Vietnam? Lots of koreans are doing this aren't they banning it for certain ages?
Burma?
China?
Philippines?
Thailand? They have a sin sod in thailand to pay off but thats not really an arranged marriage.


Anyone heard of a foreigner doing this.
Last edited by newlifeinphilippines on November 19th, 2014, 12:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Cornfed
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 12543
Joined: August 16th, 2012, 9:22 pm

Re: Foreigner Arranged marriages

Post by Cornfed »

There are two issues that I foresee:

1. You would presumably find them on the Internet, but given that they were on the Internet (as most of the world now is to some degree) they surely could find some rich sucker to give them a good deal, so your chances of scoring a bargain are minimal.

2. Where exactly are you going to take your purchased bride to lead something akin to a normal life?
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2419
Joined: December 13th, 2013, 3:06 pm

Re: Foreigner Arranged marriages

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

Cornfed wrote:There are two issues that I foresee:

1. You would presumably find them on the Internet, but given that they were on the Internet (as most of the world now is to some degree) they surely could find some rich sucker to give them a good deal, so your chances of scoring a bargain are minimal.

2. Where exactly are you going to take your purchased bride to lead something akin to a normal life?

1) Im not looking for a bargain I want a girl that is super hot who isn't a slut and I could easily cut through all the drama and B.S and long courtship and scammers. It seems like an arranged marriage would be the best pursuit. Even in philippines there are 17 or 18 year old girls on the dating site that want their parents to be chaperones to dates like as if its some sort of arranged courtship or something.

Its quicker and the girl will be hotter and maybe even virginal so the extra costs are worth it. Also your gonna spend a ton of money dating a woman for months living in hotels and visas etc to keep visiting here and spending time with her anyways it seems like buying off the parents for less courting time and getting straight to the point would be worth a little more in costs to "buy off the parents"

2) Not sure either stay in their home country or back to mine. Depends on what country were talking about. Probably the countries most likely to do this i would not want to live in though. I guess then id have to worry about divorce :roll:
drealm
Junior Poster
Posts: 934
Joined: November 10th, 2010, 9:23 am

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by drealm »

newlifeinphilippines - I was of the impression you considered yourself MGTOW? Don't MGTOW's not want to marry?
MrMan
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 6654
Joined: July 30th, 2014, 7:52 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by MrMan »

NewLifePhilippines,

I can actually understand the appeal of marrying a pretty young girl you don't know that well through an arranged marriage. Maybe watching 'How to Murder Your Wife' left me with a romanticized picture of marrying a pretty foreign stranger. But realistically, that can be really risky.

I tried to match up a couple of Indians I knew once. One was in her 40's and never married. I thought she was attracted. The other was a widower in his 50's. The woman chickened out. In their culture, they don't just go on a blind date. They are talking marriage. And we didn't do what an Indian woman's family would do, which would be interrogate to find out all kinds of things about the groom and his family and determine if the couple would be a good fit. If you find some parents wanting to marry off their 18-year-old, she could be the troubled kid the parents want out of the house, the kid with the expensive medical condition, the mentally unstable one. She could throw plates when she gets angry, but look really sweet out in public. It's kind of risky. On the other hand, she could be a real sweetheart, too. It's a big risk.

If you don't have your mom and dad interviewing her parents, extended family and the village to find out what she is like, it's probably better to take some time and get to know her. I suppose online dating with Skype could be a way of getting to know one another, but it's even easier to put on your best show on Skype. Dating couples show their best side. It's normal. Online, you can keep those random moments from happening that show your weaknesses easier. You don't meet the crazy relatives, etc.
MrMan
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 6654
Joined: July 30th, 2014, 7:52 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by MrMan »

Btw, it seems like I've heard of this sort of thing happening in Cambodia, but there aren't a lot of Christians there percentagewise if that's a criteria.

There are still some arranged marriages in Indonesia, usually in the villages rather than the cities. But I've never heard of one with a foreigner. That would be unusual.

My wife has a sister who got pregnant out of wedlock who got married off to a relative when they were both in their 30's and still unmarried. I knew a Christian maid whose Muslim dad was wanting her to marry a Muslim guy in the village. One of my wife's cousins, pretty and in her early to mid 20's was married when I was there. My wife was under the impression that her mom kind of set it up and that the family kind of pushed for her to marry him. Apparently, he had some money. Maybe a Javanese village would be a place to try, but if you don't speak the language, it would be hard to do.

Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan probably have what you are talking about, but those are Islamic cultures.

I know an Okinawan man who was up in years and wanting to marry. He asked a Korean pastor to set him up with a single woman from church. He was set up with a woman around 40 who'd never married. Koreans usually get set up on 'meetings' (dates) when the go to college. An older student would introduce two freshman he thinks would be a good match. They all go out or coffee. If the two like each other, they date. Otherwise, it's on to the next meeting. Some will go to multiple meetings in a month. If they don't meet anyone at that age, as they get older, family starts setting them up on 'meetings', but this time, it's marriage focused. The single woman close to 30 may have an aunt who shows her pictures to other aunts at the bus stop who show their pictures of their 30+ nephews. Or her dad may match her up with the boss's son from work. The couple meet and then the families ask if marriage is a possibility. After a few meetings, they could be steamrolling toward marriage. Korea also has a matchmaker industry. A Korean colleague of mine said she used to get telephone calls from matchmakers.

If you wanted, you could try to work with a professional Korean matchmaker. As far as being good wives, I think there are some plusses for Koreans, and some negatives. A plus would be there does seem to be a cultural ethic for cooking and housework. Another plus, IMO, is that Korean women are generally thin (if they eat their own food) and there are a lot of nice-looking young Korean women. I like the feminine demure way they talk. The negative side is that some Koreans seem to think the home is the woman's domain and the woman might rule the roost, or not. I suppose it depends on the home. (I'm going by Korean dramas on this, too.) Korea doesn't seem to be a thoroughly male dominant, female submissive type culture. It seems to be somewhat in offices and maybe it's a bit like the US in the 1950's or 1960's in this regard. I haven't been there since 1999 and haven't spent much time there since the 1990s. A Korean friend of mine thinks Korean women are more 'traditional' than American women (And I'm talking South Korea. I know little of the North.)

The big downside is Korean culture is so hard to understand and so rigid. It's not laid back like the Philippines. Foreigners aren't high class like in formerly colonized southeast Asia. Foreigners in Korea are soldiers (some of whom have a reputation for hanging around with prostitutes) or English teachers. An American married to a Korean said some Koreans give them a look when they are together there, and may think she is a prostitute. Or if they found out he was an English teacher, they might say she wanted to learn English too badly, and so she married him.

I think Skype dating could work, where you really focus on learning her values and getting to know her. Maybe hiring a private investigator followed up by going there and really interviewing family and friends before proposing could work.
User avatar
starchild5
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2165
Joined: December 20th, 2013, 2:32 am

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by starchild5 »

India won't work, because its systems are not based on Money but on Caste and Creed and lots of other stuff...being a nice guy with money and looks ain't enough in India.

Even if you are an Indian, one cannot simply pick up a women..They have to both be of same religion then of same caste then of same social standing, Astrological charts PLUS...People have to vouch for you. Some guys from women's place would do a back checking on you to make sure ..you are not shady and what you said is really who you are....few guys bad mouthing you, in your town is pretty much over for you.

When you give your address say in America Arizona some town some street. Its customary to check on the Groom. When I was in Mumbai, I was asked about my friend in the neighborhood.

Check out this movie

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_States_(film)

It portrays the frustration of Indian men trying to marry a girl outside their caste. This is based on a true story. Both guy and the girl studied at top university equivalent of Harvard in India. IIT. They are financially fine, same religion but different caste. Being in Love, having money, is not only the requirement to marry in India. There are lots of other stuff.


----------------


However, if you really want a Indian girl...You have to be lucky, India is changing but slowly and is not keeping in pace with the world on being open, so the equation of luck comes in like meeting an Indian chick at the airport, office, beach etc...falling in love and marrying. If an Urban Indian hot girls like you...you have better chances of marrying but guys in India too are waiting in line for that kinda deal ..your bet is LUCK and she like Americans...Otherwise as Mr.Man mentioned...you would end up with the damaged one that nobody wants even in India and that i can tell you would be a nightmare...
User avatar
starchild5
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2165
Joined: December 20th, 2013, 2:32 am

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by starchild5 »

MrMan wrote: The big downside is Korean culture is so hard to understand and so rigid. It's not laid back like the Philippines.
I totally agree. Most Americans, first world men do not value Philippines...They really do not know how much its worth unless they are born in a rigid society like India, korea etc....They do not know what they are throwing away is the gold.

The reason..I'm always high on Philippines is precisely for this reason...I was born in one of the most complicated system ever created on earth to find a women. Being good looking, having a good job, being a nice guy simply ain't enough...

So many Indians are murdered every year trying to marry the girl they love

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor_killing#India

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manoj-Babl ... lling_case

Parents murder daughter, lover for ‘honour’ in Haryana

http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/o ... 148056.ece

http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/no-re ... our-421167

'No regrets' says man who killed daughter, beheaded her friend for 'family honour'

Killed for eloping: Girl lynched by family, boy beheaded in Haryana village

http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/kille ... age-420725

Bhiwani: Girl, lover found hanging; honour killing suspected
http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/bhiw ... cted-32903

Sister dies in alleged honour killing by brother
http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/sist ... ther-19519

Yes. You are risking your very life to be with the women you like.

When you are born in Indian Caste...you will know the worth of Philippines...Its heaven.
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2419
Joined: December 13th, 2013, 3:06 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

MrMan wrote:Btw, it seems like I've heard of this sort of thing happening in Cambodia, but there aren't a lot of Christians there percentagewise if that's a criteria.

There are still some arranged marriages in Indonesia, usually in the villages rather than the cities. But I've never heard of one with a foreigner. That would be unusual.

My wife has a sister who got pregnant out of wedlock who got married off to a relative when they were both in their 30's and still unmarried. I knew a Christian maid whose Muslim dad was wanting her to marry a Muslim guy in the village. One of my wife's cousins, pretty and in her early to mid 20's was married when I was there. My wife was under the impression that her mom kind of set it up and that the family kind of pushed for her to marry him. Apparently, he had some money. Maybe a Javanese village would be a place to try, but if you don't speak the language, it would be hard to do.

Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan probably have what you are talking about, but those are Islamic cultures.

I know an Okinawan man who was up in years and wanting to marry. He asked a Korean pastor to set him up with a single woman from church. He was set up with a woman around 40 who'd never married. Koreans usually get set up on 'meetings' (dates) when the go to college. An older student would introduce two freshman he thinks would be a good match. They all go out or coffee. If the two like each other, they date. Otherwise, it's on to the next meeting. Some will go to multiple meetings in a month. If they don't meet anyone at that age, as they get older, family starts setting them up on 'meetings', but this time, it's marriage focused. The single woman close to 30 may have an aunt who shows her pictures to other aunts at the bus stop who show their pictures of their 30+ nephews. Or her dad may match her up with the boss's son from work. The couple meet and then the families ask if marriage is a possibility. After a few meetings, they could be steamrolling toward marriage. Korea also has a matchmaker industry. A Korean colleague of mine said she used to get telephone calls from matchmakers.

If you wanted, you could try to work with a professional Korean matchmaker. As far as being good wives, I think there are some plusses for Koreans, and some negatives. A plus would be there does seem to be a cultural ethic for cooking and housework. Another plus, IMO, is that Korean women are generally thin (if they eat their own food) and there are a lot of nice-looking young Korean women. I like the feminine demure way they talk. The negative side is that some Koreans seem to think the home is the woman's domain and the woman might rule the roost, or not. I suppose it depends on the home. (I'm going by Korean dramas on this, too.) Korea doesn't seem to be a thoroughly male dominant, female submissive type culture. It seems to be somewhat in offices and maybe it's a bit like the US in the 1950's or 1960's in this regard. I haven't been there since 1999 and haven't spent much time there since the 1990s. A Korean friend of mine thinks Korean women are more 'traditional' than American women (And I'm talking South Korea. I know little of the North.)

The big downside is Korean culture is so hard to understand and so rigid. It's not laid back like the Philippines. Foreigners aren't high class like in formerly colonized southeast Asia. Foreigners in Korea are soldiers (some of whom have a reputation for hanging around with hoes) or English teachers. An American married to a Korean said some Koreans give them a look when they are together there, and may think she is a hoe. Or if they found out he was an English teacher, they might say she wanted to learn English too badly, and so she married him.

I think Skype dating could work, where you really focus on learning her values and getting to know her. Maybe hiring a private investigator followed up by going there and really interviewing family and friends before proposing could work.
Marrying a korean woman would be instant divorce in america id imagine. . What about japanese? They are a little bit better.
User avatar
MarcosZeitola
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 4268
Joined: May 31st, 2014, 12:13 pm
Location: Europe

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by MarcosZeitola »

newlifeinphilippines wrote:Marrying a korean woman would be instant divorce in america id imagine. . What about japanese? They are a little bit better.
A Japanese girl might be just for you... they are a dying people, the Japanese. One of the lowest birth rates in the world, extremely many single and lonely people. You want a lady who wants no kids, and with that as a qualification, you are sooner to find a girl in Japan then in the Philippines. She'd probably be a career girl, though, which you are also not too fond of.

Arranged marriages are for decent men anyway, with decent intentions. No father would sell his daughter to a fat old whore monger, man. In these matters, family approval is EVERYTHING. Chances are, a family would not approve of you. Maybe if they are dirt poor and you still make 25,000 dollar a month, they would consider you. You will need a family of very low moral fiber, down on their luck and desperate as hell. Basically, you need to be extremely lucky.
On "Faux-Tradionalists" and why they're heading nowhere: viewtopic.php?style=1&f=37&t=29144
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2419
Joined: December 13th, 2013, 3:06 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

drealm wrote:newlifeinphilippines - I was of the impression you considered yourself MGTOW? Don't MGTOW's not want to marry?

Im MGTOW at the moment while in america and purposely avoiding travel. I have no interest in marriage right now and im staying low key from women for now to focus on myself. I may consider marriage once im more financially settled and more emotionally mature though if i find a woman worth it. thats why i was thinking arranged marriages cause maybe youd have a better shot of getting someone really hot who is not of ill repute ;)
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2419
Joined: December 13th, 2013, 3:06 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

starchild5 wrote:India won't work, because its systems are not based on Money but on Caste and Creed and lots of other stuff...being a nice guy with money and looks ain't enough in India.

Even if you are an Indian, one cannot simply pick up a women..They have to both be of same religion then of same caste then of same social standing, Astrological charts PLUS...People have to vouch for you. Some guys from women's place would do a back checking on you to make sure ..you are not shady and what you said is really who you are....few guys bad mouthing you, in your town is pretty much over for you.

When you give your address say in America Arizona some town some street. Its customary to check on the Groom. When I was in Mumbai, I was asked about my friend in the neighborhood.

Check out this movie

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_States_(film)

It portrays the frustration of Indian men trying to marry a girl outside their caste. This is based on a true story. Both guy and the girl studied at top university equivalent of Harvard in India. IIT. They are financially fine, same religion but different caste. Being in Love, having money, is not only the requirement to marry in India. There are lots of other stuff.


----------------


However, if you really want a Indian girl...You have to be lucky, India is changing but slowly and is not keeping in pace with the world on being open, so the equation of luck comes in like meeting an Indian chick at the airport, office, beach etc...falling in love and marrying. If an Urban Indian hot girls like you...you have better chances of marrying but guys in India too are waiting in line for that kinda deal ..your bet is LUCK and she like Americans...Otherwise as Mr.Man mentioned...you would end up with the damaged one that nobody wants even in India and that i can tell you would be a nightmare...
isn't this only true for hindu families in india? What about christians or nonreligious in india?
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2419
Joined: December 13th, 2013, 3:06 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by newlifeinphilippines »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:Marrying a korean woman would be instant divorce in america id imagine. . What about japanese? They are a little bit better.
A Japanese girl might be just for you... they are a dying people, the Japanese. One of the lowest birth rates in the world, extremely many single and lonely people. You want a lady who wants no kids, and with that as a qualification, you are sooner to find a girl in Japan then in the Philippines. She'd probably be a career girl, though, which you are also not too fond of.

Arranged marriages are for decent men anyway, with decent intentions. No father would sell his daughter to a fat old whore monger, man. In these matters, family approval is EVERYTHING. Chances are, a family would not approve of you. Maybe if they are dirt poor and you still make 25,000 dollar a month, they would consider you. You will need a family of very low moral fiber, down on their luck and desperate as hell. Basically, you need to be extremely lucky.
A guy who is married to a japanse in california (she was FOB) said this to me
I would avoid koreans or japanese. They will just upset you. They will never give you a full experience. They'll always hold back a bit for their ryan gosling. Unless you meet a chick from the hood of one of those places. But not many hoods in Japan or Korea. AFAIK


I really like the japanese look. Ive always wanted to visit there. I can make an exception on the career thing though if the girl is very pretty and it means i wont have to save up as muc for retirement or it means it would give me more money to work with. Its not my ideal but at least it would give me more money to work with to pursue other things. Cause right now my plan is retire with just enough for a modest lifestyle for me and possibly one other person (unless that person earns money too which would help).

I had some experiene with korean and japanese hoes in america actually i love their personality but its also quite awkward and there is no connection due to lack of english etc. Id imagine its even worse in if you go to the country to date.

Wouldn't wanting to get married be decent intentions?
MrMan
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 6654
Joined: July 30th, 2014, 7:52 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by MrMan »

NewLifePhilippines,

I think I've got a solution for you. There are tribes all over Africa where the husband pays a bride price. Just go to one of those countries, by some goats, camels, or cattle, find a father of a single girl in some stone aged hunter gatherer tribe where the family has converted to Christianity, and offer the livestock to marry the daughter. Some of them marry the girls off really young, so you might get the one left over if you get one 18 or over. She may be sewn up too to prove her virginity.
MrMan
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 6654
Joined: July 30th, 2014, 7:52 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Post by MrMan »

NewLifePhilippines,

I think I've got a solution for you. There are tribes all over Africa where the husband pays a bride price. Just go to one of those countries, by some goats, camels, or cattle, find a father of a single girl in some stone aged hunter gatherer tribe where the family has converted to Christianity, and offer the livestock to marry the daughter. Some of them marry the girls off really young, so you might get the one left over if you get one 18 or over. She may be sewn up too to prove her virginity.
Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Asia, China, Philippines, Thailand”