Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Nov 19, 2014 8:27 pm

MrMan wrote:NewLifePhilippines,

I think I've got a solution for you. There are tribes all over Africa where the husband pays a bride price. Just go to one of those countries, by some goats, camels, or cattle, find a father of a single girl in some stone aged hunter gatherer tribe where the family has converted to Christianity, and offer the livestock to marry the daughter. Some of them marry the girls off really young, so you might get the one left over if you get one 18 or over. She may be sewn up too to prove her virginity.


Im not interested in an a black woman. Nigeria is probably a place your thinking of or maybe even rwhanda or kenya or something but it sounds dangerous to be roaming these places of africa for the purpose of looking for a woman lol But I will say though african women have higher libido and seem friendly.
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2419
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:06 pm







Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby MrMan » Wed Nov 19, 2014 9:13 pm

I'm not too attracted to most African women either, though Eithiopia and Etreia have some attractive women. I don't know if they do bride prices, though. There are dangerous parts of Africa, but other parts that are safer. It is a whole continent after all. It's not all full of men with machine guns and lions chasing the white folks around. :) But if you prefer Asian, there are plenty of Asians.

One man suggested going to the Philippines, hiring a maid and asking if she had any single friends. In Indonesia, marrying a made is considered marrying beneath your station if you are middle class. But what do us western folks care. If you married someone from the maid economic class, she might not have high education and that could make for some issues if connecting intellectually is super important. Honestly, just having someone caring and compassionate you can talk about normal every day stuff with is what you need after you get past the dating stage anyway. A poor village girl could be a very hard worker. But if they don't know about hygiene and sanitation, that could be an issue. But if she's humble, you can teach her. She'd also have to learn how to work a washing machine and a lot of other things.

It seems like Indonesians are less uncomfortable with being set up with someone than a lot of Americans, btw, especially if they reach a certain age. But usually they set people up to meet.

Many years ago when I was in Indonesia, Friendster was the popular Facebook equivalent that Indonesian young adults (the class who can use computers) were using. If it's still reasonably active and you were interested in Indonesian women, you could go on there looking for singles, I suppose. I haven't heard of a big online scam 'industry' from Indonesia like there is in the Philippines. I knew three women who met men online when I was in Indonesia. I'd suggested online dating to one attractive, young-looking 40-year-old who asked my wife how she found me. About a year later, I saw her and she said she was engaged. She'd met a man from Virginia, video chatted for a long, long time, and accepted a marriage proposal. She married him and they were doing well the last I heard. Soon after, another girl I knew from the same church married a man from Virginia she met online. We went to their wedding. She was probably in her 30's.
MrMan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1216
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:52 am

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Nov 19, 2014 9:19 pm

MrMan wrote:I'm not too attracted to most African women either, though Eithiopia and Etreia have some attractive women. I don't know if they do bride prices, though. There are dangerous parts of Africa, but other parts that are safer. It is a whole continent after all. It's not all full of men with machine guns and lions chasing the white folks around. :) But if you prefer Asian, there are plenty of Asians.

One man suggested going to the Philippines, hiring a maid and asking if she had any single friends. In Indonesia, marrying a made is considered marrying beneath your station if you are middle class. But what do us western folks care. If you married someone from the maid economic class, she might not have high education and that could make for some issues if connecting intellectually is super important. Honestly, just having someone caring and compassionate you can talk about normal every day stuff with is what you need after you get past the dating stage anyway. A poor village girl could be a very hard worker. But if they don't know about hygiene and sanitation, that could be an issue. But if she's humble, you can teach her. She'd also have to learn how to work a washing machine and a lot of other things.

It seems like Indonesians are less uncomfortable with being set up with someone than a lot of Americans, btw, especially if they reach a certain age. But usually they set people up to meet.

Many years ago when I was in Indonesia, Friendster was the popular Facebook equivalent that Indonesian young adults (the class who can use computers) were using. If it's still reasonably active and you were interested in Indonesian women, you could go on there looking for singles, I suppose. I haven't heard of a big online scam 'industry' from Indonesia like there is in the Philippines. I knew three women who met men online when I was in Indonesia. I'd suggested online dating to one attractive, young-looking 40-year-old who asked my wife how she found me. About a year later, I saw her and she said she was engaged. She'd met a man from Virginia, video chatted for a long, long time, and accepted a marriage proposal. She married him and they were doing well the last I heard. Soon after, another girl I knew from the same church married a man from Virginia she met online. We went to their wedding. She was probably in her 30's.


I like simple women myself. Im a control freak so simple women id get along with better anyways.

Im looking for around 18 and not much older cause i hope to retire in a few years so even a 18 to late 30's age gap would almost be too small if were talking about something serious. Ive looked in the past on dateinasia for indonesia and compared to phil there is a much less amount of women on there even though they are more populated and a lot are muslim. But I think id probably have a chance finding a nice hot woman in indonesia cause the sexpats stay out cause your only allowed 2 months at a time and thats too much work for mrbluelight and Will n dowd.

Seems like the arranged marriage thing might be quite difficult and you might as well just do it the more regular way. Maybe ill just stay MGTOW forever then i wont have to worry about kids or this stupid search. If i want to travel ill just travel for adventure.
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2419
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:06 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby starchild5 » Thu Nov 20, 2014 2:48 am

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
isn't this only true for hindu families in india? What about christians or nonreligious in india?


Yes. but they are just 1% of India's population. Extremely, hard to find. They just marry among themselves.

...This just happened yesterday in India...Its headline news in India right now...

Delhi: Girl marries outside caste, murdered by family members

http://www.hindustantimes.com/india-news/newdelhi/delhi-venkateswara-college-girl-killed-allegedly-by-parents-for-inter-caste-marriage/article1-1288032.aspx


This is a very very serious Issue in India...not a joke...people get murdered for being in Love. Feminism is like a walk in the park infront of Psychosis that is India.

----------------------

I'm born Third world...for a guy like you..who is DIFFERENT....and from a developed country but who does not adhere to its system....like many other from America and the west...Only Philippines is the Hope in Asia....You need to Dig Philippines ever more man...There is no other place that would welcome you as much as Philippines has done.

Also, I forgot to mention...Indian men are freaking jealous, they can't digest a white guy going out with a super hot Indian chick in their own backyard....You could be lynched in some parts of India....In Korea, China also they do not approve their girls going out with foreigners....In Philippines...nobody cares....


Still not convinced? be my guest for couple of weeks in India and you will get a taste of reality.

...For folks who are not main stream...Philippines is the place....
User avatar
starchild5
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1648
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:32 am

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Thu Nov 20, 2014 3:19 am

starchild5 wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:
isn't this only true for hindu families in india? What about christians or nonreligious in india?


Yes. but they are just 1% of India's population. Extremely, hard to find. They just marry among themselves.

...This just happened yesterday in India...Its headline news in India right now...

Delhi: Girl marries outside caste, murdered by family members

http://www.hindustantimes.com/india-news/newdelhi/delhi-venkateswara-college-girl-killed-allegedly-by-parents-for-inter-caste-marriage/article1-1288032.aspx


This is a very very serious Issue in India...not a joke...people get murdered for being in Love. Feminism is like a walk in the park infront of Psychosis that is India.

----------------------

I'm born Third world...for a guy like you..who is DIFFERENT....and from a developed country but who does not adhere to its system....like many other from America and the west...Only Philippines is the Hope in Asia....You need to Dig Philippines ever more man...There is no other place that would welcome you as much as Philippines has done.

Also, I forgot to mention...Indian men are freaking jealous, they can't digest a white guy going out with a super hot Indian chick in their own backyard....You could be lynched in some parts of India....In Korea, China also they do not approve their girls going out with foreigners....In Philippines...nobody cares....


Still not convinced? be my guest for couple of weeks in India and you will get a taste of reality.

...For folks who are not main stream...Philippines is the place....



I dont see india on dateinasia. Maybe like you said there is a reason for that LOL

yes even the chinese and korean guys are territorial even when AMERICANS and thats not even their country its a joke.
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2419
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:06 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby Jester » Thu Nov 20, 2014 6:31 am

newlifeinphilippines wrote:Where to go to make a deal with the family to marry a woman? Seems like that would be the best option cause the woman can be vouched by her family and chances are she will be very hot and probably a virgin to boot. Forget courting and dating and all the drama just slap money down to the parents and fly off with your bride. :D

India? or do the only want their daughter to marry indians.
Vietnam? Lots of koreans are doing this aren't they banning it for certain ages?
Burma?
China?
Philippines?
Thailand? They have a sin sod in thailand to pay off but thats not really an arranged marriage.


Anyone heard of a foreigner doing this.


Absolutely ANY of these countries are do-able.

Don't let Negative Nancies here discourage you.

Sin sod IS a bride price and there is nothing wrong with it. Normal, traditional, Biblical. (Story of Jacob's brides).

Isaan region of Thailand, where people speak Khmer and Lao, and you can buy the girl, with no formal marriage, and take her away with you. "She go with you." Maybe the easiest place where they are used to that. You will need a third party for the negotiation and for translation.

Philippines, as StarChild says, the folks are USED to relatives going abroad, and they LOVE Canos. Easy-peasy. No paid matchmaker needed. Just walk around, talk to girls you like. Hell you are THERE already. Just get outside Angeles and Manila into "the Province". Close the deal with parents but you shouldnt need a third party.

I dont think Vietnam is legislating age diffs. Thats Cambodia you are thinking of. But that still wont affect you, if you are mid-30's. The law targets over 45s or over50s, I forget. But still easy to circumvent, just have the girl leave a sa tourist, not a married lady. Pay her mama to accompany her to wherever, then leave and go home. $$ in those Asian eyes.

Good move:
Take a girl from Phils and move her to Thailand as a tourist with you. Still in Asia, close to her family, but far away from her deadbeat in-laws. Good infrastructure, less begging, better food, the internet you need.

Better move:
Take a girl from Isaan and bring her to Chiang Rai or Pattaya or wherever. No visa needed, no marriage needed, no commitment needed. Just some sin sod. IMO, sin sod is a man's best friend.

Best move:
Get to know Pete 98146(?), OutWest et al, get some help from their wives, get a cute teen from the Province, avoid legal marriage. shack up in Manila or Boracay or whatever floats your boat.

My ideas anyway.

Girl from ANY of those countries will work. As one poster said, the fly in the ointment is where to LIVE. But you have the bucks to grease residency where you want. Just avoid entangling issues re visas, and avoid legal marriage.
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7866
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Thu Nov 20, 2014 7:33 am

Jester wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:Where to go to make a deal with the family to marry a woman? Seems like that would be the best option cause the woman can be vouched by her family and chances are she will be very hot and probably a virgin to boot. Forget courting and dating and all the drama just slap money down to the parents and fly off with your bride. :D

India? or do the only want their daughter to marry indians.
Vietnam? Lots of koreans are doing this aren't they banning it for certain ages?
Burma?
China?
Philippines?
Thailand? They have a sin sod in thailand to pay off but thats not really an arranged marriage.


Anyone heard of a foreigner doing this.


Absolutely ANY of these countries are do-able.

Don't let Negative Nancies here discourage you.

Sin sod IS a bride price and there is nothing wrong with it. Normal, traditional, Biblical. (Story of Jacob's brides).

Isaan region of Thailand, where people speak Khmer and Lao, and you can buy the girl, with no formal marriage, and take her away with you. "She go with you." Maybe the easiest place where they are used to that. You will need a third party for the negotiation and for translation.

Philippines, as StarChild says, the folks are USED to relatives going abroad, and they LOVE Canos. Easy-peasy. No paid matchmaker needed. Just walk around, talk to girls you like. Hell you are THERE already. Just get outside Angeles and Manila into "the Province". Close the deal with parents but you shouldnt need a third party.

I dont think Vietnam is legislating age diffs. Thats Cambodia you are thinking of. But that still wont affect you, if you are mid-30's. The law targets over 45s or over50s, I forget. But still easy to circumvent, just have the girl leave a sa tourist, not a married lady. Pay her mama to accompany her to wherever, then leave and go home. $$ in those Asian eyes.

Good move:
Take a girl from Phils and move her to Thailand as a tourist with you. Still in Asia, close to her family, but far away from her deadbeat in-laws. Good infrastructure, less begging, better food, the internet you need.

Better move:
Take a girl from Isaan and bring her to Chiang Rai or Pattaya or wherever. No visa needed, no marriage needed, no commitment needed. Just some sin sod. IMO, sin sod is a man's best friend.

Best move:
Get to know Pete 98146(?), OutWest et al, get some help from their wives, get a cute teen from the Province, avoid legal marriage. shack up in Manila or Boracay or whatever floats your boat.

My ideas anyway.

Girl from ANY of those countries will work. As one poster said, the fly in the ointment is where to LIVE. But you have the bucks to grease residency where you want. Just avoid entangling issues re visas, and avoid legal marriage.


Interesting idea about bringing the girl from phil to thailand as a tourist. If you marry her and you bring her to thailand though wont she still have her phil passport and that restricts her to 15 days at a time only? Ive heard alot about how thai women are more reserved and not as passionate and more money orintated so im thinking fili and indo women may be more my style.

If that a loophole for cambodia seems like they would all do it ? Maybe i should read up on that. i did a quick search and i think i read they lifted the ban 6 months later?

Im looking at legal marriage for moral reasons but i realize that means i just have to be extra careful. Wouldn't that mean i could get divorced if i bring her to thailand or if i find a wife in thailand? lol or maybe not allowed for girl to get divorced since its not her coutnry of thailand.
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2419
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:06 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby Jester » Thu Nov 20, 2014 9:39 am

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Interesting idea about bringing the girl from phil to thailand as a tourist. If you marry her and you bring her to thailand though wont she still have her phil passport and that restricts her to 15 days at a time only?


Looks like 30 days to me -- as a tourist
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visa_requirements_for_Filipino_citizens

Make sure she has that onward travel airline ticket when she enters
Here's some details.
https://www.timaticweb.com/cgi-bin/tim_website_client.cgi?SpecData=1&VISA=&page=visa&NA=PH&AR=00&PASSTYPES=PASS&DE=TH&user=KLMB2C&subuser=KLMB2C

Get her one of these and she can stay 90 days, multiple entry for 3 years.
https://www.timaticweb.com/cgi-bin/tim_client.cgi?ExpertMode=TIRULES/R35&user=KLMB2C&subuser=KLMB2C

Apparently you and I could get this nifty thing too
https://help.cbp.gov/app/answers/detail/a_id/1638/~/apec-business-travel-card-%28abtc%29-for-u.s.-citizens


newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Im looking at legal marriage for moral reasons but i realize that means i just have to be extra careful. Wouldn't that mean i could get divorced if i bring her to thailand or if i find a wife in thailand? lol or maybe not allowed for girl to get divorced since its not her coutnry of thailand.



Well divorcing a good wife just to run after another makes the man an accessory to the ex-wifes expected adultery. At least thats the typical reading of Jesus's words on the topic in Mark 10 and Matthew 19. So I am surprised you would consider doing this.

Also your prejudice toward legal marriage is kind of bizarre. Jesus attended the wedding at Cana, but I doubt the couple had a wedding license from King Herod. It is GOD that marries you, not the State, not the preacher. The preacher OFFICIATES at the wedding, but only three persons are necessary for a wedding: Husband, wife, and God.

I'm not against an on-the-books registration of a marriage if it is valuable to your family. But it is dangerous most of the time. Even in a Latin country, you have to prove that your divorce is final in order to remarry; you may need an ex to sign off that your child support is up to date; you may need a wife's permission to sign a mortgage (not sure), etc etc.

Another advantage of off-the-books is that you do not have to lock yourself into just one. Jesus endorsed multiple wives in his hilarious parable in Matthew 25. I'm not pushing that lifestyle, just saying you keep options open if you keep things off the books. I am bringing this up because you do NOT sound ready to commit to one woman for life.

A CEREMONY is another thing. It is something women treasure, I see no reason not to arrange a simple ceremony, where your teen bride can have flowers, wear white, receive a ring. The ceremony is for emotions, the vow you take is between you and God. That's the moral part. Really just a statement that you are taking her, like Adam said, bone of your bone, etc.
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7866
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Thu Nov 20, 2014 6:30 pm

Jester wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Interesting idea about bringing the girl from phil to thailand as a tourist. If you marry her and you bring her to thailand though wont she still have her phil passport and that restricts her to 15 days at a time only?


Looks like 30 days to me -- as a tourist
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visa_requirements_for_Filipino_citizens

Make sure she has that onward travel airline ticket when she enters
Here's some details.
https://www.timaticweb.com/cgi-bin/tim_website_client.cgi?SpecData=1&VISA=&page=visa&NA=PH&AR=00&PASSTYPES=PASS&DE=TH&user=KLMB2C&subuser=KLMB2C

Get her one of these and she can stay 90 days, multiple entry for 3 years.
https://www.timaticweb.com/cgi-bin/tim_client.cgi?ExpertMode=TIRULES/R35&user=KLMB2C&subuser=KLMB2C

Apparently you and I could get this nifty thing too
https://help.cbp.gov/app/answers/detail/a_id/1638/~/apec-business-travel-card-%28abtc%29-for-u.s.-citizens


newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Im looking at legal marriage for moral reasons but i realize that means i just have to be extra careful. Wouldn't that mean i could get divorced if i bring her to thailand or if i find a wife in thailand? lol or maybe not allowed for girl to get divorced since its not her coutnry of thailand.



Well divorcing a good wife just to run after another makes the man an accessory to the ex-wifes expected adultery. At least thats the typical reading of Jesus's words on the topic in Mark 10 and Matthew 19. So I am surprised you would consider doing this.

Also your prejudice toward legal marriage is kind of bizarre. Jesus attended the wedding at Cana, but I doubt the couple had a wedding license from King Herod. It is GOD that marries you, not the State, not the preacher. The preacher OFFICIATES at the wedding, but only three persons are necessary for a wedding: Husband, wife, and God.

I'm not against an on-the-books registration of a marriage if it is valuable to your family. But it is dangerous most of the time. Even in a Latin country, you have to prove that your divorce is final in order to remarry; you may need an ex to sign off that your child support is up to date; you may need a wife's permission to sign a mortgage (not sure), etc etc.

Another advantage of off-the-books is that you do not have to lock yourself into just one. Jesus endorsed multiple wives in his hilarious parable in Matthew 25. I'm not pushing that lifestyle, just saying you keep options open if you keep things off the books. I am bringing this up because you do NOT sound ready to commit to one woman for life.

A CEREMONY is another thing. It is something women treasure, I see no reason not to arrange a simple ceremony, where your teen bride can have flowers, wear white, receive a ring. The ceremony is for emotions, the vow you take is between you and God. That's the moral part. Really just a statement that you are taking her, like Adam said, bone of your bone, etc.


I never said anything about divorce? I said a girl might divorce me with thai laws?
yeah ive always heard the whole marriage is a religious ceremony but not the government. im not sure if God would see that as a cop out or not if your running around though saying your not married but you did a "ceremony". seems like someone could do that with anyone to many women and have no meaning, I dont know?
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2419
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:06 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby MrMan » Thu Nov 20, 2014 7:28 pm

Jester wrote:Another advantage of off-the-books is that you do not have to lock yourself into just one. Jesus endorsed multiple wives in his hilarious parable in Matthew 25. I'm not pushing that lifestyle, just saying you keep options open if you keep things off the books. I am bringing this up because you do NOT sound ready to commit to one woman for life.


I would probably be at a loss for figuring out how you get polygamy out of Matthew 25 if I hadn't encountered that interpretation a few weeks ago on another forum online. I'd never heard of that before. Are polygamists using the parable of the 10 virgins as an argument in favor of polygamy?

The standard interpretation is that the virgins are a part of the wedding party, like bridesmaids in our culture. (Notice that historically we called brides maids 'virgins' too, since that is what 'maid' used to mean.)
MrMan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1216
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:52 am

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Thu Nov 20, 2014 7:51 pm

MrMan wrote:
Jester wrote:Another advantage of off-the-books is that you do not have to lock yourself into just one. Jesus endorsed multiple wives in his hilarious parable in Matthew 25. I'm not pushing that lifestyle, just saying you keep options open if you keep things off the books. I am bringing this up because you do NOT sound ready to commit to one woman for life.


I would probably be at a loss for figuring out how you get polygamy out of Matthew 25 if I hadn't encountered that interpretation a few weeks ago on another forum online. I'd never heard of that before. Are polygamists using the parable of the 10 virgins as an argument in favor of polygamy?

The standard interpretation is that the virgins are a part of the wedding party, like bridesmaids in our culture. (Notice that historically we called brides maids 'virgins' too, since that is what 'maid' used to mean.)



whats your opinion on his idea of "religious marriage" not paper marriage?
newlifeinphilippines
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2419
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:06 pm

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby Jester » Thu Nov 20, 2014 9:34 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Jester wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Interesting idea about bringing the girl from phil to thailand as a tourist. If you marry her and you bring her to thailand though wont she still have her phil passport and that restricts her to 15 days at a time only?


Looks like 30 days to me -- as a tourist
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visa_requirements_for_Filipino_citizens

Make sure she has that onward travel airline ticket when she enters
Here's some details.
https://www.timaticweb.com/cgi-bin/tim_website_client.cgi?SpecData=1&VISA=&page=visa&NA=PH&AR=00&PASSTYPES=PASS&DE=TH&user=KLMB2C&subuser=KLMB2C

Get her one of these and she can stay 90 days, multiple entry for 3 years.
https://www.timaticweb.com/cgi-bin/tim_client.cgi?ExpertMode=TIRULES/R35&user=KLMB2C&subuser=KLMB2C

Apparently you and I could get this nifty thing too
https://help.cbp.gov/app/answers/detail/a_id/1638/~/apec-business-travel-card-%28abtc%29-for-u.s.-citizens


newlifeinphilippines wrote:
Im looking at legal marriage for moral reasons but i realize that means i just have to be extra careful. Wouldn't that mean i could get divorced if i bring her to thailand or if i find a wife in thailand? lol or maybe not allowed for girl to get divorced since its not her coutnry of thailand.



Well divorcing a good wife just to run after another makes the man an accessory to the ex-wifes expected adultery. At least thats the typical reading of Jesus's words on the topic in Mark 10 and Matthew 19. So I am surprised you would consider doing this.

Also your prejudice toward legal marriage is kind of bizarre. Jesus attended the wedding at Cana, but I doubt the couple had a wedding license from King Herod. It is GOD that marries you, not the State, not the preacher. The preacher OFFICIATES at the wedding, but only three persons are necessary for a wedding: Husband, wife, and God.

I'm not against an on-the-books registration of a marriage if it is valuable to your family. But it is dangerous most of the time. Even in a Latin country, you have to prove that your divorce is final in order to remarry; you may need an ex to sign off that your child support is up to date; you may need a wife's permission to sign a mortgage (not sure), etc etc.

Another advantage of off-the-books is that you do not have to lock yourself into just one. Jesus endorsed multiple wives in his hilarious parable in Matthew 25. I'm not pushing that lifestyle, just saying you keep options open if you keep things off the books. I am bringing this up because you do NOT sound ready to commit to one woman for life.

A CEREMONY is another thing. It is something women treasure, I see no reason not to arrange a simple ceremony, where your teen bride can have flowers, wear white, receive a ring. The ceremony is for emotions, the vow you take is between you and God. That's the moral part. Really just a statement that you are taking her, like Adam said, bone of your bone, etc.


I never said anything about divorce? I said a girl might divorce me with thai laws?
yeah ive always heard the whole marriage is a religious ceremony but not the government. im not sure if God would see that as a cop out or not if your running around though saying your not married but you did a "ceremony". seems like someone could do that with anyone to many women and have no meaning, I dont know?


In countries with Roman Law tradition, I think if it doesnt exist signed on paper, it doesnt exist legally. GENERALLY. In other words when doing business contracts or dealing with bureaucracy, you are single. Period. Not single as in "celibate", not single as in "player", but single as in "still a free sovereign man, not legally bound to get permission from some dumb bitch before establishing residency or taking out a loan". From a legal perspective, you are telling the truth.

What you tell people socially is something else. Depends if you want freedom to add another wife or not. If not, you can tell people she is my wife. Its good to add "We're not LEGALLY married, ut she is my wife". You're according her the status and respect she craves, but also making sure that you dont become de-facto married through public image. Simpler would be tell people she is a concubine, using some local term that sounds polite. Querida in Mexico or the Phils, Er Nai in Singapore and China et al (I think). No difference Biblically. She is still bone of your bone. But you know, give her a ring. That means permanence to women, a sign that the "goods" have been "taken off the market".
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7866
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby Jester » Thu Nov 20, 2014 9:51 pm

MrMan wrote:
Jester wrote:Another advantage of off-the-books is that you do not have to lock yourself into just one. Jesus endorsed multiple wives in his hilarious parable in Matthew 25. I'm not pushing that lifestyle, just saying you keep options open if you keep things off the books. I am bringing this up because you do NOT sound ready to commit to one woman for life.


I would probably be at a loss for figuring out how you get polygamy out of Matthew 25 if I hadn't encountered that interpretation a few weeks ago on another forum online. I'd never heard of that before. Are polygamists using the parable of the 10 virgins as an argument in favor of polygamy?

The standard interpretation is that the virgins are a part of the wedding party, like bridesmaids in our culture. (Notice that historically we called brides maids 'virgins' too, since that is what 'maid' used to mean.)


Translators who use the word "bridesmaids" in their translations are deceitful heretics, deliberately trying to slant the text to their priggish views. It says "virgins", not "bridesmaids".

Oh, and good Jewish virgins of that era didn't enter a locked hotel room with a happy, drunken bridegroom at night, unless they themselves were married to the bridegroom.

Besides, the prophet Isaiah predicts
In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, "We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!"

http://biblehub.com/isaiah/4-1.htm

That hasnt happened yet, but one can easily see how lonely, unwanted career women will do just exactly this in coming decades. It has already been discussed in the Black community for a couple of decades now.

The OT says what it says. Jesus said what He said. If some Pope stamped out polygamy five hundred or a thousand years later, or if polygamy is sniffed at by upright Georgia Baptists, thats too bad, it doesn't change what the Bible says.
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7866
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby MrMan » Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:03 am

Jester,

Your making the part about the virgins being alone with the bride groom. the traditional interpretation is that this is a wedding party, where the virgins are waiting in the wee hours of the morning to or the middle of the night to join the group. The ones that go off to buy oil for their lamps miss the groom's wedding party when it goes by.

From what I've read, Jews of that era were monogamous. It doesn't make sense that they would have read polygamy into the text. Do you have any evidence for polygamists in Biblical times marrying multiple wives with one party? Jacob was to give Leah her week first.
MrMan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1216
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:52 am

Re: Foreigner ARRANGED marriages

Postby MrMan » Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:08 am

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
MrMan wrote:
Jester wrote:Another advantage of off-the-books is that you do not have to lock yourself into just one. Jesus endorsed multiple wives in his hilarious parable in Matthew 25. I'm not pushing that lifestyle, just saying you keep options open if you keep things off the books. I am bringing this up because you do NOT sound ready to commit to one woman for life.


I would probably be at a loss for figuring out how you get polygamy out of Matthew 25 if I hadn't encountered that interpretation a few weeks ago on another forum online. I'd never heard of that before. Are polygamists using the parable of the 10 virgins as an argument in favor of polygamy?

The standard interpretation is that the virgins are a part of the wedding party, like bridesmaids in our culture. (Notice that historically we called brides maids 'virgins' too, since that is what 'maid' used to mean.)



whats your opinion on his idea of "religious marriage" not paper marriage?


In the Anglo system of law, it is my understanding that the state didn't register marriages until the English started doing so in the 1700's. They recognized church marriages under the law, though, and had some other legal allowances for other issues, like a man promising marriage to a young woman without going to the church and things of that nature. I'm thinking of one of Henry VII's wives, one of the Jane's, I think, who was accused of incest, but who had lost her virginity to another man who ended up getting drawn and quartered, though he slept with her before Henry was in the picture.

Personally, I think getting culturally married or church married without getting married with the state in our culture is a bad witness. When I was dating my wife, I felt silly calling her my girlfriend. She meant more than that to me, and I wanted her to be family. I wanted to be able to call her my wife. I also wanted her to be married in every sense of the word and to be able to hold her head up high. I wouldn't want her to be in a situation where people would have some kind of reason to call her a ho.

I know that topic is not a common theme here, loving a woman and wanting to treat her with respect and dignity. But that's important if you find one worth spending your life with.
MrMan
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1216
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:52 am

PreviousNext

Return to Asia, China, Philippines, Thailand

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests