All problems can be solved with a paddle.Hero wrote:The problem with that kind of thinking is that women use it as an excuse to totally let themselves go and devolve into fat f***ing pigs. Too many women think that their physical appearance shouldn't matter as long as they have a wonderful personality. It's possible to have both inner AND outer beauty.Johnny1975 wrote: Her physical body is nothing but a thing that she carries around with her. A gift from God to her, which should then be a gift from her to you. It's her gift, it's not her. It's not to be loved, it's to be enjoyed. If you want to compliment her, compliment her personality so that it will encourage her to seek more compliments by being a good person. Meanwhile, keep your admiration of that thing that she carries around to yourself.
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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
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What do you mean?
I have conversations with a nice filipina girl.
She seems to be a really good girl, and she has all I want.
But, I want to give time, to explore herself more.
I wonder when is the right time to give her some signs and compliments, to keep her attached to me and let her know my attraction to her.
But on the other hand I do not want to commit so soon, as we contact only for some weeks.
So, when it is the appropriate time?
There's two parts to all this: first, normal women love compliments. Actually, so do normal men. But a lot of people in Western countries have gone off their nut and think a compliment means you're trying to offend or oppress them or something. But a Filipina, she'll like that. At first, you should throw out a few vague but nice sounding things like "you seem pretty cool" or "it sounds like you have a good sense of humor". Just don't thrown down big compliments too early, build up to it. Imagine: if you didn't know what a woman looked like, never even saw a picture, and you said she was beautiful. That would sound insincere, right?
But more importantly: the sign she really wants is *you visiting her*. After all, it's not like you can get a true sense of each other unless you spend time in each other's presence, right? I'd say after chatting for 2-4 months, start talking about/planning a visit. If she's as great as you think she is, she'll have options, and if you want to take it to the next level, you've got to meet her.
Yeah, really. You tell an American woman that she has nice eyes, and she thinks it's creepy. What's up with that?
Just roll with it. It sounds like it's a part of their culture. If she denies being attractive, you could say, "I'm sure you are wrong about a lot of things.", "you are entitled to your opinion." or "you sure look cute to me.", or "Maybe I need to get my eyes checked." or "It's better if you don't know you are beautiful." or whatever junk you want to say, and talk about something else. Girls usually appreciate complements about their looks even if they don't accept them.What good does it do to try to persuade her to agree with you.
So, I have made her some sporadic compliments, but, she does not even told something simplistic or 'minimal' like 'thank you'!
She is not rude in any case, or any luck of kindness. She just don't tell anything for any compliment!
How does she really feels? Embarrassed? Shy? Don't believe in compliments at all?
I am not sure. When I see this 'no feedback', I remember this topic.
And don't tell me to ask her how does she feels about compliments!
You can tell me, by your experience!
It feels like this thread is full of spastic autists talking about the finer details of star trek dildo memorabilia. You should never compliment a woman based on her appearance. "You are so pretty" is not a good compliment. It doesn't make you cassonova or some kind of romantic genius. The truth is that you are probably the 10th guy to do so that day, especially if it's a particularly attractive girl. It's a serious problem in western countries and arguably the main reason why things are as bad as they are. Too many girls being told they are special and pretty in real life and in social media by too many thirsty chumps. Don't be part of that problem in Asia. You may compliment a girl on her deed/actions if they are good, and only sparingly.
Extra link for additional reading: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/04/ ... ppearance/
Last edited by Dragon on February 13th, 2016, 6:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
I am a terrible person.
Dragon I agree with you, almost completely.
On the other hand, I should let her know that I find her pretty, especially when we talk for some 'not so beautiful asians',
because these girls have heard it much less times, and they make them feel good.
But, I want to do it sporadic times, I think it would help to feel more comfortable with each other.
I think that one classic mistakes western men do, is giving compliments all the time.
This way I believe they lose the game from their hands.
And make girls more arrogant too!
But telling a mediocre filipina that she thinks to be 'at the bottom of the barrel' a nice compliment, I think she will be so happy with it, and I want to give happiness when I can!
So, what we do, it depends a lot on the target group, this is what I believe.
Is this strange problem with compliments, regarding only their appearance, or their attitude and character too?
Is it easier to tell something good for their character?
Did you come to a conclusion, if this difficulty mainly concerns the timid girls?
If you're still curious, here's your answer: Women who genuinely feel and believe they are unattractive do not want to be told they are attractive. Not only is it insulting to her, but it also makes you a liar and a joker. If she doesn't think that she's pretty, then trying to butter her up in that way with sugary compliments will not help. It will only hurt, if you get one of those women who feel that way about themselves.
The good news about all this is, if she actually is pretty to you, then you have one of the most humble, non-stuck up women in the world. That's if she hasn't gone too far into self-pity and self-hatred.
You might try complimenting them in some other area which they could appreciate. Maybe on their figure, how cute their voice is, or whatever else except for that spot which you already know doesn't want to get poked cause it's sore.
A good man is above pettiness. He is better than that.
And how do you know how to handle this, and I mean at the beginning, when you do not know her good?
First of all, I think that it is all about how I find her.
If she was terrible in my eyes, I would not bother at all.
But if I find her pretty?
You know, I do not concern of how to compliment her.
I know how to show my appreciation to her, for her character, her sayings, etc. More essential elements.
But, .....my concern is, if she does expect from me some nice compliments, and she never get them.
Because maybe I thought it was not a right tactic, or I 've been told so(here, elsewhere) etc
Based on my (bad) experiences with western girls, for many years now I have stopped to give any compliments to any girl. These only support their arrogance, and make them even worse in attitude.
Regarding the new field of filipina girls, I just want to miss something in a wannabe successful approach.
Is it a safe choice to give some compliments for her whole presence, or omitting to mentioning about appearance at all maybe it is a little bit risky?
At least two conditions must be met for a woman to appreciate your compliment. First she has to feel somewhat worthy of the compliment herself. Telling a woman she makes a good rocket scientist when she can't do math would be silly, for example. The other is, she must be attracted to you. If she's not attracted to you, then you can give any compliment and it wouldnt matter.
A good man is above pettiness. He is better than that.
Adama thanks for your comments.
I have a feeling from a few girls I talk online, that their difficulty accepting/commenting even some small compliments I made, it is rather coming from being humble.