ABC worried about dating and height in China

[hammanta]

There are lots of variables. If a woman's going to judge you on height, then don't bother with her. On dating sites, you'll be able to weed out women in such a way. Yes, women love tall men. Or at least that is one quality they look at. But as I said, there are many variables.

Location will be extremely important if you are not Chinese yourself. Depending on where you go, you may not find even a single woman who wants to date you. In certain regions, it is rare for women to date/marry outside their race. In others, it happens a lot. I won't reveal my info on here in any more depth than that. You can figure out that part by yourself.

Are you looking for a serious relationship leading to a marriage, or just a temporary thing? China reviles and trounces mongers. One reason I like China is that mongers put their lives on the line if they try it, in many cases.

What is your total set of qualities? No need to get hung up only on height. China is heavy on looksism, so bear that in mind. A short, handsome guy will usually be better liked than a tall ugly guy. I'm a tall ugly guy, and I experienced how stupid Chinese looksism can be. For example, they'll treat handsome guys as better at their jobs regardless of the reality. Same could be said of the U.S., and perhaps any country, but just something else to bear in mind.

I'm a white collar professional making about 200K. I am Chinese American. I don't know if dating sites are the best places for me to look since I am looking for a relationship that will eventually lead to marriage. Really depressed about how my height screws things up for me though. I will never have a Chinese girl of my own race and blood love me.

Try the Philippines man. As others have mentioned there are plenty of short girls there. Now if you are looking for the top of the top range in looks for women, then I'm sorry you are gonna be fighting a huge uphill battle. That's when your money comes into play. My buddy (thought he's white) did pretty well in the Philippines and he's 5'5" You will never know if you don't try. I also have a Guatemalan friend who just married his white high school sweet heart and he is like 5ft nothing. You just have to own other properties and stop feeling inferior.

[abcdavid01]

There are lots of variables. If a woman's going to judge you on height, then don't bother with her. On dating sites, you'll be able to weed out women in such a way. Yes, women love tall men. Or at least that is one quality they look at. But as I said, there are many variables.

Location will be extremely important if you are not Chinese yourself. Depending on where you go, you may not find even a single woman who wants to date you. In certain regions, it is rare for women to date/marry outside their race. In others, it happens a lot. I won't reveal my info on here in any more depth than that. You can figure out that part by yourself.

Are you looking for a serious relationship leading to a marriage, or just a temporary thing? China reviles and trounces mongers. One reason I like China is that mongers put their lives on the line if they try it, in many cases.

What is your total set of qualities? No need to get hung up only on height. China is heavy on looksism, so bear that in mind. A short, handsome guy will usually be better liked than a tall ugly guy. I'm a tall ugly guy, and I experienced how stupid Chinese looksism can be. For example, they'll treat handsome guys as better at their jobs regardless of the reality. Same could be said of the U.S., and perhaps any country, but just something else to bear in mind.

I'm a white collar professional making about 200K. I am Chinese American. I don't know if dating sites are the best places for me to look since I am looking for a relationship that will eventually lead to marriage. Really depressed about how my height screws things up for me though. I will never have a Chinese girl of my own race and blood love me.

Just go to China. There will be plenty of Chinese girls who would marry you. Just make sure you let them know what you do for living

Or not. You know, gotta watch for gold diggers.

[Ghost]

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[droid]

malcom_z:
IMO everyone is too pessimistic on this thread. I think there is no comparison to what a 5'4 Chinese guy can get in America vs his possibilities in China.
More than your height, i'd be more concerned about what other aspects can make you different, where there are so many guys of the same background.
But overall would I think the move should be a significant improvement.

[chanta76]

Height is important but it's not everything. I'm not tall myself but I made up for it by being in good shape and adding some muscles to my frame. As you get older it's also important to have something going for you. Either business, income or something...I think for guys being good looking is not enough in the long run..which is good. Because if you don;'t have the ideal looks but have other things going for you..
Women can still find you attractive.
Go overseas...your going to notice the difference in how your treated.

[celery2010]

i would NOT worry about this. If you are an ABC, you will have a great advantage in China, regardless if you are not tall or even attractive.

Looks are not as important as money in China, and as an American you automatically qualify as rich. Now of course, not all women will be interested, but even William Hung could find a nice looking wife in China, so don't worry.

[Malcolm Z]

I was in Beijing for a few weeks for work. Rejected a lot in my approaches, even with 30+ YO women. Think I'm going to try Vietnam...should I give up on Chinese women?

[droid]

I was in Beijing for a few weeks for work. Rejected a lot in my approaches, even with 30+ YO women. Think I'm going to try Vietnam...should I give up on Chinese women?

That doesn't make sense. Could you please share with us more details on your trip?
Was it business/work related? did you just approach on the street or were you in some kind of group setting. A report proper would be nice dude, pics a +

I'm for sure going to Vietnam once I establish myself in China. Vietnam seems still unspoiled.

[Chrissays]

200k dollar income?

Dude, how are you not even getting American women? Or you just want Native Chinese women?

You can get chicks on any continent man, especially in China; Iv never left California and I'm saying this.

Just take your ass over there on a tourist visa for a few months and then report back.

200k income man..

[Malcolm Z]

200k dollar income?

Dude, how are you not even getting American women? Or you just want Native Chinese women?

You can get chicks on any continent man, especially in China; Iv never left California and I'm saying this.

Just take your a** over there on a tourist visa for a few months and then report back.

200k income man..

I'm 5'4...

[Malcolm Z]

I don't think money can make up for a lack of height especially with Chinese women.

[Chrissays]

Oh.. Sorry. I guess I don't really realize heights a "thing" since I'm kinda tall.. But for what its worth it doesn't help me for shit.

Thing is, in so cal at least, the hottest asian girls are with the ballers (from what I see). Smoking hot vietnamese American women for example, with ABC investment bankers and.. I won't say they're gold digging, but i will say if he wasn't making that type of money she wouldn't be with him. I think I'm preaching to the chior here but...

I dunno man you can really use your income as leverage.. I'm sure you'll find a way.

[Ghost]

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[hammanta]

I don't think money can make up for a lack of height especially with Chinese women.

Those individuals that lack certain characteristics are always gonna have to try harder than guys with better genetics. That's the bottom line. Yes, height is important to a lot of women, but what is more important is that you try and develop thick skin and an attitude for succeeding. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You may ask out 100 women and only succeed with 5 but at least you got a chance with 5 of them. Not every woman is going to care that you are 5'4" but you also cannot reach those women without being pro-active and taking initiative. You can waste your life bitching and moaning about what you don't have, or you can get out there and do something about it.

[lasttry]

If you want validation that you are sexually attractive, then being pro-active and taking initiative is not necessarily a good idea. Yes, you'll find some women who'll have sex with you, but it will be mercy sex and they'll eventually dump you for the guy they really wanted, which is more degrading than being alone from the start. You have to let the woman give an indication of interest. If no such IOI's are forthcoming, then you are not sexually attractive and that's the end of the story. I do agree that bitching and moaning is pointless. The correct thing is to be philosophical about the situation. Lots of men never get to have any sex whatsoever because they are locked up prison for life. Can't even have sex with men because they might be solitary. Can't even masturbate because they guards won't allow. Everyone posting on this forum is better off than a whole lot of men whose lives are truly miserable. So yes, quit bitching and moaning.

If you want sex rather than validation, then get out there and earn some money and go P4P.

PUA's scorn P4P because they are modern feminized men who want validation that they are sexually attractive. Sex itself is of little importance to PUAs. P4P is clearly the alpha way to get sex. You're the customer, you give the orders, you get whatever you want, when you want it, without any changes to your personality to please the woman. Now that's true alpha. PUA's have to adapt themselves to women's fickle whims to get sex. They call it "making themselves better men" but it boils down to adapting themselves to women's fickle whims.

I'm not big on P4P because, like the PUA's, I too am a modern man, meaning somewhat feminized, meaning validation that I am sexually attractive is important to me. At the same time, I have enough manly pride not to adapt myself to women's whims, and that is what all this pro-active and taking initiative boils down to. I chased women too much when I was younger and I regret doing so. If I were starting over, I'd go P4P just to see what real sex was all about and then masturbate the rest of the time until a woman showed interest in me for acting like my natural self. If no women (for whom I also have an attraction) are attracted to me for acting like my natural self, so what? I also have enough manly pride to accept my fate as one of the unwanted ones without complaint.