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ABC worried about dating and height in China

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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Jan 28, 2015 12:44 am

lasttry wrote:If you want validation that you are sexually attractive, then being pro-active and taking initiative is not necessarily a good idea. Yes, you'll find some women who'll have sex with you, but it will be mercy sex and they'll eventually dump you for the guy they really wanted, which is more degrading than being alone from the start. You have to let the woman give an indication of interest. If no such IOI's are forthcoming, then you are not sexually attractive and that's the end of the story. I do agree that bitching and moaning is pointless. The correct thing is to be philosophical about the situation. Lots of men never get to have any sex whatsoever because they are locked up prison for life. Can't even have sex with men because they might be solitary. Can't even masturbate because they guards won't allow. Everyone posting on this forum is better off than a whole lot of men whose lives are truly miserable. So yes, quit bitching and moaning.

If you want sex rather than validation, then get out there and earn some money and go P4P.

PUA's scorn P4P because they are modern feminized men who want validation that they are sexually attractive. Sex itself is of little importance to PUAs. P4P is clearly the alpha way to get sex. You're the customer, you give the orders, you get whatever you want, when you want it, without any changes to your personality to please the woman. Now that's true alpha. PUA's have to adapt themselves to women's fickle whims to get sex. They call it "making themselves better men" but it boils down to adapting themselves to women's fickle whims.

I'm not big on P4P because, like the PUA's, I too am a modern man, meaning somewhat feminized, meaning validation that I am sexually attractive is important to me. At the same time, I have enough manly pride not to adapt myself to women's whims, and that is what all this pro-active and taking initiative boils down to. I chased women too much when I was younger and I regret doing so. If I were starting over, I'd go P4P just to see what real sex was all about and then masturbate the rest of the time until a woman showed interest in me for acting like my natural self. If no women (for whom I also have an attraction) are attracted to me for acting like my natural self, so what? I also have enough manly pride to accept my fate as one of the unwanted ones without complaint.



Thats one reason why I dislike most women. If they don't show the initiative in sex or starting the attraction then i have no desire to be with them. Its why I dislike chinese and other uptight and low libido cultures. Ive always said to women that its their job to do all the work to impress the guy that she is worthy of marriage. If you have to do all the work in the relationship financially and then on top of it beg for a kiss, beg for sex, or start anything in the relationshp then its over before it begun. Its not my job to show interest because every guy automatically is interested its her job to do that.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Jan 28, 2015 12:48 am

droid wrote:
Malcolm Z wrote:I was in Beijing for a few weeks for work. Rejected a lot in my approaches, even with 30+ YO women. Think I'm going to try Vietnam...should I give up on Chinese women?

That doesn't make sense. Could you please share with us more details on your trip?
Was it business/work related? did you just approach on the street or were you in some kind of group setting. A report proper would be nice dude, pics a + 8)

I'm for sure going to Vietnam once I establish myself in China. Vietnam seems still unspoiled.



You gotta lot to learn. Your ass is gonna get thrown in jail if you monger in vietnam. And im not joking.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby droid » Wed Jan 28, 2015 5:32 am

Man you and lasttry do talk out of your *sses quite a bit, but i find you a lot more likable lol
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Jan 28, 2015 6:05 am

droid wrote:Man you and lasttry do talk out of your *sses quite a bit, but i find you a lot more likable lol


LOL look it up though you will get thrown in jail if you have one night stands there.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby droid » Wed Jan 28, 2015 5:52 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote:
droid wrote:Man you and lasttry do talk out of your *sses quite a bit, but i find you a lot more likable lol

LOL look it up though you will get thrown in jail if you have one night stands there.


I'm not seeking one night stands, that's PUA's bullsh*it obsession. I just hope to date around and go to trips with girls etc. I don't want to sound like MBL but a "rotation" would be great. Heck even if it doesn't involve sex, just making out or what not. Of course only testing the waters I'll know for sure.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby hammanta » Wed Jan 28, 2015 6:22 pm

lasttry wrote:If you want validation that you are sexually attractive, then being pro-active and taking initiative is not necessarily a good idea. Yes, you'll find some women who'll have sex with you, but it will be mercy sex and they'll eventually dump you for the guy they really wanted, which is more degrading than being alone from the start. You have to let the woman give an indication of interest. If no such IOI's are forthcoming, then you are not sexually attractive and that's the end of the story. I do agree that bitching and moaning is pointless. The correct thing is to be philosophical about the situation. Lots of men never get to have any sex whatsoever because they are locked up prison for life. Can't even have sex with men because they might be solitary. Can't even masturbate because they guards won't allow. Everyone posting on this forum is better off than a whole lot of men whose lives are truly miserable. So yes, quit bitching and moaning.

If you want sex rather than validation, then get out there and earn some money and go P4P.

PUA's scorn P4P because they are modern feminized men who want validation that they are sexually attractive. Sex itself is of little importance to PUAs. P4P is clearly the alpha way to get sex. You're the customer, you give the orders, you get whatever you want, when you want it, without any changes to your personality to please the woman. Now that's true alpha. PUA's have to adapt themselves to women's fickle whims to get sex. They call it "making themselves better men" but it boils down to adapting themselves to women's fickle whims.

I'm not big on P4P because, like the PUA's, I too am a modern man, meaning somewhat feminized, meaning validation that I am sexually attractive is important to me. At the same time, I have enough manly pride not to adapt myself to women's whims, and that is what all this pro-active and taking initiative boils down to. I chased women too much when I was younger and I regret doing so. If I were starting over, I'd go P4P just to see what real sex was all about and then masturbate the rest of the time until a woman showed interest in me for acting like my natural self. If no women (for whom I also have an attraction) are attracted to me for acting like my natural self, so what? I also have enough manly pride to accept my fate as one of the unwanted ones without complaint.


But is P4P not merciful sex to begin with? There is nothing intriguing or alluring to me about paying some woman simply to have sex with me. Nor is it Alpha because you are bartering a service that she can easily refuse if the price is too low or you are Fugly. That means any Joe Smoe can pay for sex and claim to be alpha in doing so. Now that would be true merciful sex having to raise the price for a hooker or worse getting completely turned down by one.

A true alpha would get any girl he chose and not have to pay. For instance leaders of countries, militant groups, or cults. The ones people admire and/or whom have power or persuasion, genetics, intelligence, wealth, and status.

I do agree with your point though about sexual verification. I believe that it is naturally engrained into our psyche, however. It is not something that comes from feminist ideas alone though. As a species we are naturally inclined to procreate and not die off without spreading our genetics. Survival of the fittest still essentially applies to us though less so than any other species. 10,000 years ago it was still the most fit and intelligent who got the top girl(s), who got to procreate the most. The rest were left with the spoils. Therefore we all want sexual attraction verification because it signifies that we are worthy of spreading our genetic makeup. Sex on a biological level is thus that, a biological action meant to carry on a species. We've turned it into entertainment, hence why prostitution exists to begin with.

I think most here would agree that sex with passion and mutual attraction is far better than passionless sex. Not that the opposition doesn't have its place, it does but one cannot simply sustain a lifetime of d-downing prostitutes and be truly happy. Even Winston, in his polygamist mind still longs for sexual verification, which in turn involves passion for one another. My whole point with telling the OP to be proactive was not to try and verify his sexual attractiveness, but to advise him that if he expects one result, sitting on the sidelines isn't going to help. I don't like PUAs either but their point of stepping up and taking initiative has its place. That does not mean chasing women all over but it does mean placing yourself in positions to meet women and taking the initiative when the chance is given. Far too many men lose their shot with women for the fear of rejection.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby lasttry » Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:11 pm

Even dictators have limits. If they rape the daughters of their bodyguards, they face possibility of a coup. And hookers generally don't turn down clients unless they are really obnoxious. If one whore turns you down, try another. This might sound like the same as hitting on a bunch of women but it isn't. No one changes their personality to accommodate a whore, but every PUA is forced to change his natural personality, and that to me is unacceptable.

On the other hand, for a lot of men, if we don't change our natural personality but rather act like our natural self, we get nothing sexually. I actually don't have a problem getting women to date me in America and some of these women are quite attractive. The problem is they lack a sex drive, so I'm in the degrading position of chasing a woman who doesn't want sex, at least not with me. From what I gather, a lot of these women don't want sex with other normal men either. Nor is it my lacks of skills in bed, because many of these women volunteered that I was the best lover they ever had or the only one who gave them orgasms, etc. Doesn't matter, they're just sexually dead. The only way to get them heated up is to act like a PUA clown, which I find to be degrading. A typical situation was with an early girlfriend. The sex was good for about a week, then she began cutting off the supply. After a month, the sex ended. So then I was at a club with her and started flirting with this other woman when the GF went to the bathroom. When my GF came back, she grabbed and acted angry. I just snorted in disgust and said something like "what the hell do you care?" We left and I assumed we were going to break up. Lo and behold, lots of sex for the next week. In other words, I have to pull this PUA crap of creating competition anxiety in order for her to feel "gina tingles", but I find that PUA behavior to be degrading. I'm not that sort of person and if I have to act like that to get the woman heated up, I'd rather just be alone.

"Far too many men lose their shot with women for the fear of rejection."

Knock on enough doors, one eventually opens. But what happens if you get a turd on a plate for your troubles? As in a woman who dangles the lure of sex so as to get the man to act like a clown, the man takes the bait, man gets a little bite of sex and then nothing thereafter, but he has invested so much by this point that he is hesitant to walk off, so now he tries the clown act again but it doesn't work this time, then he further degrades himself by begging for sex, then he gets ripped off in divorce, etc. Typical American marriage. Fear of rejection, you say? More like fear of acceptance into that nightmare.

The man should normally take some initiative, but only after the woman shows an indication of interest. He shouldn't have to work too hard for her and he should be ready to dump her at the first sign of trouble. Men who stick to their principles like this typically don't get much sex, or such is my experience, but they also don't have to eat a lot of shit and that's a good tradeoff. This depressing situation is why I'm going to Eastern Europe eventually. I am under no illusions about EE, but I do believe there is something especially desexualizing about America and that things will be better elsewhere.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:31 pm

Hammanta is pretty naive about P4p. The bargirl who i turned into a "girflriend" so to speak gave me amazing sex. it had more passion than i bet most of the girls he slept with.

I do think though p4p is a waste though its a forced love situation where you know the girl doesnt love you (unless your lucky) but it feels like a big dream and act and its very depressing. Id rather find a wife who actually fits the bill in and out of the bedroom in everway.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby hammanta » Thu Jan 29, 2015 4:41 pm

newlifeinphilippines wrote:Hammanta is pretty naive about P4p. The bargirl who i turned into a "girflriend" so to speak gave me amazing sex. it had more passion than i bet most of the girls he slept with.

I do think though p4p is a waste though its a forced love situation where you know the girl doesnt love you (unless your lucky) but it feels like a big dream and act and its very depressing. Id rather find a wife who actually fits the bill in and out of the bedroom in everway.


And... you are pretty naive about my life. Not sure how you can even assume something of the sort. That's merely subjective.

Amazing sex doesn't necessarily mean passion is involved. As I mentioned there is a place for passionless sex but you shouldn't always assume they are equal or the same. Passion involves lust, love, and emotion. It occurs when you have mutual attraction and interest for another person. These can be faked and imitated (e.i P4P).

What normally occurs in P4P is merely a transaction. The imitation of interest and lust for another's money. Could it so happen to be that the customer and the hooker may share similar interest in each other and develop a connection, as in PERHAPS your case. Hell even porn stars get married. Sure there's that possibility but majority of it is what I mentioned above... a transaction. Have you ever been to Angeles City on walking street? Spend a few days there and track one bar girl. That same guy she's sitting on his lap, laughing at every joke, acting so "interested" in the him, is the same girl acting the same way to the next sap offering her his money. The sex I'm sure is fantastic but is it true passion and desire for one another? I seriously doubt it. At the end of the day you are still going to be lonely with no one to share anything with, to talk with, to enjoy your life together. Sex eventually will grow old, libido drops and when it's all said and done, you will have some great memories but little to show for it.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby hammanta » Thu Jan 29, 2015 5:13 pm

On the other hand, for a lot of men, if we don't change our natural personality but rather act like our natural self, we get nothing sexually. I actually don't have a problem getting women to date me in America and some of these women are quite attractive. The problem is they lack a sex drive, so I'm in the degrading position of chasing a woman who doesn't want sex, at least not with me. From what I gather, a lot of these women don't want sex with other normal men either. Nor is it my lacks of skills in bed, because many of these women volunteered that I was the best lover they ever had or the only one who gave them or****s, etc. Doesn't matter, they're just sexually dead. The only way to get them heated up is to act like a PUA clown, which I find to be degrading. A typical situation was with an early girlfriend. The sex was good for about a week, then she began cutting off the supply. After a month, the sex ended. So then I was at a club with her and started flirting with this other woman when the GF went to the bathroom. When my GF came back, she grabbed and acted angry. I just snorted in disgust and said something like "what the hell do you care?" We left and I assumed we were going to break up. Lo and behold, lots of sex for the next week. In other words, I have to pull this PUA crap of creating competition anxiety in order for her to feel "gina tingles", but I find that PUA behavior to be degrading. I'm not that sort of person and if I have to act like that to get the woman heated up, I'd rather just be alone.


This whole section describes American women very well, but again, not every woman everywhere is like this. That's the point of traveling and living overseas.

Knock on enough doors, one eventually opens. But what happens if you get a turd on a plate for your troubles? As in a woman who dangles the lure of sex so as to get the man to act like a clown, the man takes the bait, man gets a little bite of sex and then nothing thereafter, but he has invested so much by this point that he is hesitant to walk off, so now he tries the clown act again but it doesn't work this time, then he further degrades himself by begging for sex, then he gets ripped off in divorce, etc. Typical American marriage. Fear of rejection, you say? More like fear of acceptance into that nightmare.


There is a difference from being pro-active and getting out there and meeting women to being screwed over in a relationship not fit for you. I agree that all of that stuff is shitty and very evident in American society. As others, I doubt I'd ever settle for an American female because of exactly the things you mentioned. However, that doesn't mean you cannot at least attempt and try. I am not advocating hitting up bars, nightclubs, or whatever and walking up to every piece of ass you see, trying to get attention. What I do advocate is putting yourself in a position where you can meet women (e.i. extracurricular stuff, volunteering, active hobbies, and other avenues). And by fear of rejection I'm referring to not pulling the trigger when the opportunity is right. Yes, interest should be shown by the girl but a lot of guys still fear rejection when they have a good chance of succeeding.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby newlifeinphilippines » Thu Jan 29, 2015 7:47 pm

hammanta wrote:
newlifeinphilippines wrote:Hammanta is pretty naive about P4p. The bargirl who i turned into a "girflriend" so to speak gave me amazing sex. it had more passion than i bet most of the girls he slept with.

I do think though p4p is a waste though its a forced love situation where you know the girl doesnt love you (unless your lucky) but it feels like a big dream and act and its very depressing. Id rather find a wife who actually fits the bill in and out of the bedroom in everway.


And... you are pretty naive about my life. Not sure how you can even assume something of the sort. That's merely subjective.

Amazing sex doesn't necessarily mean passion is involved. As I mentioned there is a place for passionless sex but you shouldn't always assume they are equal or the same. Passion involves lust, love, and emotion. It occurs when you have mutual attraction and interest for another person. These can be faked and imitated (e.i P4P).

What normally occurs in P4P is merely a transaction. The imitation of interest and lust for another's money. Could it so happen to be that the customer and the hooker may share similar interest in each other and develop a connection, as in PERHAPS your case. Hell even p**n stars get married. Sure there's that possibility but majority of it is what I mentioned above... a transaction. Have you ever been to Angeles City on walking street? Spend a few days there and track one bar girl. That same guy she's sitting on his lap, laughing at every joke, acting so "interested" in the him, is the same girl acting the same way to the next sap offering her his money. The sex I'm sure is fantastic but is it true passion and desire for one another? I seriously doubt it. At the end of the day you are still going to be lonely with no one to share anything with, to talk with, to enjoy your life together. Sex eventually will grow old, libido drops and when it's all said and done, you will have some great memories but little to show for it.


Im just saying you assume all P4p is some robotic session. Thats not the case with some of them. I do agree though there is something missing in the whole equation and as soon as hte money stops then the real emotions are exposed. I do think there were some slight feelings though cause she acted in a way towards me that the average bargirl or prostitute wouldn't. but thats the nature of her personality and she would have done that for any monger now that i know that but at the time i didn't want to believe that :D
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby sea_dragon » Tue Feb 03, 2015 7:25 am

200k? you dont need to worry about shit!

Snag a northern girl so your kids dont end up as ugly like many southerners especially deep southerners with southeast asian like looks.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby Winston » Fri Jul 29, 2016 5:54 am

MarcosZeitola wrote:Chinese women want a tall man, it's hard-wired into their biology, especially now with the One Child policy their reproductive options are vastly limited. A short son is much more likely to die a bachelor and leave them without grandchildren, whereas a tall and attractive man will do his biological duty by them in most cases. The odds are against the shorter Chinese men. Women have a lot of options in terms of which men to date, so they'd date a man 5'8" and above anytime of the day above a man 5'4" unless he's either a millionaire or able to take them abroad.

Your best bet is in Indonesia or the Philippines, where even at 5'4" you will considered average at most instead of short. With many women barely reaching five feet, you won't be the odd one out any longer. I have noticed that Chinese, Korean and Japanese men have been getting taller the last generation(s) and competition is fierce. Play your cards right and go somewhere where the odds are more in your favor. In China, they aren't at the moment.


Yes. Most Chinese women want tall men. But occasionally you will find a gem that doesn't mind. My cousin who is a doctor is only 5ft3, yet he found a tall attractive Taiwanese woman that loved him and married him. She's about 5ft7 or 5ft8. Today they are still happily married with two kids. I posted their wedding photos here:

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=5926

So yes, miracles do happen, if they are meant to. Some people defy the odds.

Btw, you are making too much fuss about the one child policy. You obviously have not spent time in China. If you had, you'd know that no one cares about that anymore. The one child policy is easy to get around. You can pay a small fine to get around it. And it is not even strictly enforced anymore. Talk to people in China and you will see. It is not the major factor you think it is. So you are reading too much into it and basing it on the biased and lying Western media.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby MarcosZeitola » Fri Jul 29, 2016 7:43 am

Winston wrote:Btw, you are making too much fuss about the one child policy. You obviously have not spent time in China. If you had, you'd know that no one cares about that anymore. The one child policy is easy to get around. You can pay a small fine to get around it. And it is not even strictly enforced anymore. Talk to people in China and you will see. It is not the major factor you think it is. So you are reading too much into it and basing it on the biased and lying Western media.


The comment I made to which you replied, is a comment from 2014. I wrote it before the one child policy was eased into a conditional two-child policy. My comment had nothing to do with "biased and lying Western media", it's just that the situation on the ground changed in the almost two years that passed since I wrote said comment. Furthermore, a lot of the criticism of the Chinese government policy comes not from Western media, but from Chinese dissidents yourself. It's as you said yourself, in a recent post about "pros and cons of Chinese women" - Chinese people have a tendency to believe whatever the government feeds them and not question authority.

You, as a non-conformist, should know better then to buy Chinese propaganda. China's government, when it comes to being biased, spreading lies and misinformation, bullshitting their people, really is no better then the government of for example America. The difference between America and China is the people, the culture. A culture the Chinese government itself has tried their very best to destroy ever since the days of Mao.

I somehow doubt you would be so much of a freethinking non-conformist if you had grown up in China or Taiwan rather then America. Love it or hate it, but growing up in a place with (somewhat) free media allowed you to discover a lot of alternative opinions. Opinions that would not have reached you if all you grew up with was the Little Red Book.
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Re: ABC worried about dating and height in China

Postby Winston » Fri Jul 29, 2016 8:30 am

MarcosZeitola wrote:
Winston wrote:Btw, you are making too much fuss about the one child policy. You obviously have not spent time in China. If you had, you'd know that no one cares about that anymore. The one child policy is easy to get around. You can pay a small fine to get around it. And it is not even strictly enforced anymore. Talk to people in China and you will see. It is not the major factor you think it is. So you are reading too much into it and basing it on the biased and lying Western media.


The comment I made to which you replied, is a comment from 2014. I wrote it before the one child policy was eased into a conditional two-child policy. My comment had nothing to do with "biased and lying Western media", it's just that the situation on the ground changed in the almost two years that passed since I wrote said comment. Furthermore, a lot of the criticism of the Chinese government policy comes not from Western media, but from Chinese dissidents yourself. It's as you said yourself, in a recent post about "pros and cons of Chinese women" - Chinese people have a tendency to believe whatever the government feeds them and not question authority.

You, as a non-conformist, should know better then to buy Chinese propaganda. China's government, when it comes to being biased, spreading lies and misinformation, bullshitting their people, really is no better then the government of for example America. The difference between America and China is the people, the culture. A culture the Chinese government itself has tried their very best to destroy ever since the days of Mao.

I somehow doubt you would be so much of a freethinking non-conformist if you had grown up in China or Taiwan rather then America. Love it or hate it, but growing up in a place with (somewhat) free media allowed you to discover a lot of alternative opinions. Opinions that would not have reached you if all you grew up with was the Little Red Book.


You misunderstood me. This has nothing to do with what the Chinese government says. I never said any government is a bastion of truth. After all, a government's job is to manage people (sheeple), not to tell them the truth. So you can't expect truth from government, unless of course it benefits their agenda, which is not often.

I was talking about the Chinese people. Not just in the last two years, but prior to that, it was easy to get around the one child policy. I'm basing all this on what CHINESE WOMEN told me. A lot of Chinese women I met said they have brothers and sisters, so the one child policy is not as strict as you assumed, even many years ago. How come so many Chinese women have siblings then? Because their parents easily got around that policy. That was my point. So it's probably not as big a factor as you thought.

If I had not grown up in America, it's hard to say if I would be a freethinker or not. Some traits are innate. But then again, if I had felt happy and accepted in Chinese culture, I may not have felt the need to rebel or not conform. Usually dissidents are those who are dissatisfied with their culture and the mainstream. If I had a happy childhood in the US and had the life I was supposed to have, maybe I would be a conformist in the US too.

Also, none of my Asian cousins in the US turned out to be freethinkers. They all became conformists so the system and only care about work, career, making money and raising their families. So no, most people even in America, do not become freethinkers.

Why are you a freethinker? Did something in Dutch society make you dissatisfied so you sought alternatives to the mainstream in Holland? Isn't Dutch culture very open about drugs and sex and philosophy? Why would anyone need to rebel there against the mainstream where it's not oppressive at all?
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