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Hey guys long time since I have posted, but recently I got caught with yellow fever obsession.
My question that I have is what country would be the best for me to travel to find a north eastern asian wife my desire would be Korean or Japanese lady. I would even travel to North Korea even, if need be to sneak in to find a Korean wife LOL, because at least in the North they are less westernized than there counterparts in the South. From research it seems apparent, that you can find many N.Korean women that flee into China, this is good option for me too the only problem maybe is I need to learn their language better. I have also heard conflicting reports about Okinawa being a hot destination to find a Japanese wife. I did manage to talk with a Japanese women the other day from Japan she was nice and friendly she told me that the the best women for foreign men are outside of Tokyo. Please can anybody give me suggestions besides going to the Philippines because the women are easier more approachable. I am looking for a future wife not a one night stand or casual sex.
15 years ago, I would have said Japan. Now I would say no to that. Too many negative changes over the course of the years.
I don't know much about Korea, but I heard it's pretty tough over there, unless you have looks/money. East Asia as a whole is becoming very westernized,I noticed significant changes in China as early as 2010. You have to bring something more than a white face to the table now.
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." -Oscar Wilde
"Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability is in the opponent" -Sun Tzu
For sure North East but certaintly not the whole of east asia. China varies differetly arent so much westernized as you may think. I have a friend teaching there he says the women are very traditional compared to korean women. He also mentioned the selection of women in China was better than Korea.
You need to get going, though. Things are changing rapidly. I spent 4 years in China, and the rate of change I noticed in people's behavior from 2006-2010 alone was astounding. Things are developing very fast, and as a result, a lot of modern Americanized behaviors are starting to take shape in younger women there.
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." -Oscar Wilde
"Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability is in the opponent" -Sun Tzu
Ghost wrote:I haven't to either. Japan, you'd probably not have a lot of competition since there are so many herbivore men and hikikomori. That's the impression I get from what I read, but experience will trump that. For better women, stay away from the bigger cities, and go find hidden gems. Not Japan or Korea specific, just a good rule of thumb anywhere.
A big part (not the only part) of the reason why there are so many herbivores in Japan is because of women's changing behaviors and expectations towards dating and sex. Young men just don't want to deal with it. Surprisingly (or not), many Japanese women don't care about this.
I agree wholeheartedly about staying away from the big cities, Tokyo especially. You also have to factor in that big cities also contain more Western men. In Tokyo, this was true even as far back as 2003 or so. I remember walking through Shinjuku, Suginami, and Shibuya thinking I was in a large American or European city, LOL. The more Western faces there are, the more competition, and the more you have to step it up.
Being a rarity by itself can easily give you more value. I believe this was one reason why I was so successful in China circa 2006-2007, before I met my woman. Western people were still a relatively rare sight back then, even in larger cities like Guangzhou. Since the Olympics, the larger cities have been flooded. You can't get by with the local women unless you've got some game/cash/good looks. There's just too many foreign options for the local girls nowadays.
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." -Oscar Wilde
"Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability is in the opponent" -Sun Tzu
Japan is one of the most 'macho' cultures, which may be a good thing if you want a submissive wife. But society is changing. There are a lot of career women there. A Japanese friend of mine says there are husband-king and wife-queen marriages. He was a bit overbearing and had a husband-king marriage.
But I hear virginity is rare there. It's part of the culture to lose virginity before marriage Even in the days of early western contact, one of the Roman Catholic missionaries from Europe commented in one of his writings on how little the Japanese cared for virginity at marriage when compared to Europeas.
I hear churches are mostly female and a lot of Christian women don't marry because they want believing spouses. One Japanese friend said that you may be able to find virgins among these Christian women. I've got this older Japanese single friend who grew up in the US who wants to marry. I told him to go to Japan and tell a pastor there. Japanese and Korean pastors will matchmake. Managers do to in Japan.
South Korea has lots of Christians, btw., so being a male Christian isn't as bit of a plus at finding a wife. But my guess is it would be easier to find a conservative type virgin in Korea. I hear that some Korean women expect to rule the roost. I'm not to sure about Japan. I hear China has the same problem with women liking to rule the home. There is also the problem of in-laws trying to be in control in some of these cultures. The whole cultural system of either Korea and Japan is elaborate and foreign. Ideas of politeness and what is expected is difficult and confusing for the outsider. Culturally, I think it's easier to marry an Indonesian, or probably a Filippina as far as culture is concerned. Both were colonized by western powers. Both have ethnic diversity and aren't used to having only one way of doing things like Koreans or Japanese.
Korean and Japanese women learn to be demure in the way the interact, sit, walk, etc. There is the girly giggle that they do, at least at the end of commercials. I saw two Japanese girls ride by on a bike, probably about 20 years old or so, a few days ago. They were speaking Japanese with these high-pitched girly voices like off a Japanese cartoon. It's feminine, I guess. I noticed many Korean commercials ended with a girl or pretty young woman giggling and covering her mouth when I lived there. Women on the radio had this meek submissive voice they considered sexy. Its a different style, and it is feminine, if a bit childish at times. This stuff makes the women seem very submissive to men. But that doesn't mean they won't try to be domineering in the home.
But it's like a marriage to any woman. You've got to be firm and fair, and set boundaries. You have to let her know that she needs to treat you with respect and establish the fact that you are in charge. It's best to do this while she's crazy in love with you, in a non-confrontational way where you don't have a real battle about it. It's something a man needs to do consistently in the marriage, but for his sanity, and for hers. I believe women get a sense of security if their men have a plan, are responsible, and are in charge, and don't let them get away with trying to be the one in charge. That's something men who marry girls from cultures where wives are supposed to be submissive have to do just like other men. A girl coming from a culture that has some sense about male and female roles may give you less of a struggle about this. But in those cultures, there are still girls who are headstrong individuals. But at least the culture is working in the right direction.
Btw, if I were single and it were me, I'd probably choose Korean over Japanese because I'm more familiar with their culture and it just seems more likely that that culture would produce a virgin. Koreans claim that the blanket a woman wears on her kimono traces back to a time when many of their men died in a war, and the emperor passed a law that a man could demand sex from a single woman. The blanket was to lie on. I don't know if that's true. It could just be another example of Korean hatred of Japan, telling stories like that. It may indicate that the Koreans consider Japanese women to be slutty by comparison.
I like Korean food. Japanese food is good, but seems a little boring at times. Koreans do eat some raw fish, but it doesn't seem as common as it does in Japan. There is a province in Japan that has chicken sashimi. I don't think Korea has that at all. Korea also has an alphabet (syllabary actually) that is fairly easy to learn.
As far as looks go, I think the chances of finding a pretty girl are about the same. It seems like Korea was full of 7's and 8's, for example in Kangnam where there are lots of young people, if you want through the subway area. There are 9's and 9 pluses, but they are kind of hard to find. It seems like there are a limited number of face types in Korea,with very slight variations.
I also had a newly wed American friend who told me his wife told him, "If you want me while I am sleeping, just wake me up, any time." So the idea that Koreans might be like that got implanted in my subconsciousness. Statistically, Japanese married couples are at the bottom of the scale for frequency of sexual intercourse, I read. I wonder if some of them have sex until they have one baby and stop or something like that. Of course, I know this other guy whose Korean wife barely slept with him the whole time they were married, so it's probably a mix just like any other ethnicity.
Btw, Forerunner, if you read about men going to the Filippines and sleeping with bar girls, that doesn't mean the girls throughout the country are like that. I found my wife while working in Indonesia. They aren't as good at English, on average, as Filippinas, but some of them do speak it. Virginity until marriage is considered the norm for both men and women in Indonesia. But like any country, they do have slutty girls who frequent areas expats might hang out in, and prostitutes. But there are plenty of English-speaking girls there who are virgins. It's generally accepted there that wives submit to their husbands. Families are collectivists, and if you marry someone, you may be asked to chip in for this or that relative for something they need or to send money home to parents. The money isn't usually huge amounts. That's if you marry from a family that isn't rich.
Back to Korea and Japan, why would you want to marry someone from North Korea's messed up culture? You mght find one good candidate, but the culture has to be super weird up in North Korea. Take the rigidity of South Korean culture, and add to it being shut off from the outside world and living in a country where it is a religion to worship the ruler of the country.
MrMan wrote:Btw, Forerunner, if you read about men going to the Filippines and sleeping with bar girls, that doesn't mean the girls throughout the country are like that. I found my wife while working in Indonesia. They aren't as good at English, on average, as Filippinas, but some of them do speak it. Virginity until marriage is considered the norm for both men and women in Indonesia. But like any country, they do have slutty girls who frequent areas expats might hang out in, and prostitutes. But there are plenty of English-speaking girls there who are virgins. It's generally accepted there that wives submit to their husbands. Families are collectivists, and if you marry someone, you may be asked to chip in for this or that relative for something they need or to send money home to parents. The money isn't usually huge amounts. That's if you marry from a family that isn't rich.
Back to Korea and Japan, why would you want to marry someone from North Korea's messed up culture? You mght find one good candidate, but the culture has to be super weird up in North Korea. Take the rigidity of South Korean culture, and add to it being shut off from the outside world and living in a country where it is a religion to worship the ruler of the country.
Thanks for the response but for me the reason why I would want a wife from one of these cultures is because for me it would be easier for me to assimilate in them compared to lets say other asian cultures. Japan and Korea have a good amount of history that I like especially Japanese culture and much of the art. You are right for the most part about Japanese women seeming to be so submissive, but from my own experience with living with an FOB they can be at first but change once there friends are around.
Korean women to me are mysterious I have never been around too many of them before. Just last week I was talking to an S.Korean girl FOB she was very sweet and polite. The whole time we had been talking she kept blushing at me and innocently giggling. You should of heard her voice though it was so soft and feminine .Which is refreshing to me after talking with most American women in the states.
Indonesian women are beautiful in terms of looks but the culture to me doesn't peak my interest like the other two. And thats where the problem lies. Down the line when looking for a wife for me I prefer to assimilate into her culture, since the culture that I am in now doesn't fit me. I am not looking for a super model either just want a descent women with average height, nice legs, beautiful yellow skin, and a personality. Where do you think the best place in S.Korea for wife hunting is?
MrMan wrote:Btw, Forerunner, if you read about men going to the Filippines and sleeping with bar girls, that doesn't mean the girls throughout the country are like that. I found my wife while working in Indonesia. They aren't as good at English, on average, as Filippinas, but some of them do speak it. Virginity until marriage is considered the norm for both men and women in Indonesia. But like any country, they do have slutty girls who frequent areas expats might hang out in, and prostitutes. But there are plenty of English-speaking girls there who are virgins. It's generally accepted there that wives submit to their husbands. Families are collectivists, and if you marry someone, you may be asked to chip in for this or that relative for something they need or to send money home to parents. The money isn't usually huge amounts. That's if you marry from a family that isn't rich.
Back to Korea and Japan, why would you want to marry someone from North Korea's messed up culture? You mght find one good candidate, but the culture has to be super weird up in North Korea. Take the rigidity of South Korean culture, and add to it being shut off from the outside world and living in a country where it is a religion to worship the ruler of the country.
When I was talking about meeting a N.Korean women its because I think they would be more humble and traditional in a sense from living in communist country just like the women in the FSR countries who had been under communist rule.
^ I've been subscribed to that guy's channel for awhile and I remember when he first posted that. I was like, yup, there goes another fellow who had to learn the hard way.
In his case, since he makes big $, it could have been that she was a gold-digger. But I know plenty Japanese women who are divorced or separated from Western husbands where it was the opposite reason--the man wasn't making enough money. Make too much money and you open yourself up to divorce-rape. Don't make enough and sooner or later she'll be calling you lazy and leaving your ass.
Yes, if you're going to marry a Japanese or Korean woman I hope you enjoy being out of the house most of your waking hours busting your hump and coming home tired every night. We are talking about the two most workaholic cultures in the world. I have on more than one occasion heard Japanese women bluntly say that it is difficult to be married to an American because Americans are lazy. I then remind them that only from a Japanese perspective could they think such a thing. Compared to most of the rest of the world, Americans are the workaholics.
As far as South Korean females go, you would want to be selective. They have an annoying habit of turning into fugly “bossy aunt” types with tightly permed hair, parachute pants, a permanent scowl and an aggressive attitude. They tragically seem to have always been socially dominant behind the scenes in Korean society. Almost every Korean man is a complete momma’s boy and men typically turn over their pay to their wives and are put on an allowance (puke). So Korean females might not be the best choice in the long term. On the plus side, nice legs.
