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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
You know the saying, white men can't jump? Well, they can't pick the better Asian women either. I have some theories about this but would like to hear others opinions.
It seems to me a Western Man, usually white, decides to venture to Asia in search of a bride or GF. He has either becomes frustrated in his home country with Westernized women or been through a broken relationship or divorce and is ready to try something different. These men range from winners to losers and everything in between.
First of all, so much BS is posted here an elsewhere about Asian women that is rooted in guys doing P4P or hooking up with low quality, easy to get desperate women in Thailand and the Philippines. Ever wonder why Korean, Japanese, Chinese and Taiwanese men seeking brides in another country never search in Phil or Thailand? They go there for fun only... They know better, they have a deeper appreciation for standards and Asian culture than we do. They are seeking stable, quality relationships with a lady they can be proud of.
Enter Western man, all pissed off from bad experiences with overweight and bitchy Western women. Guy meets petite, cute, and charming Asian lady who shows him respect he never experienced before. She sleeps with him, he is in heaven at the moment. That tight little space and petite frame is causing every neuron to explode. Suddenly she looks more beautiful by the moment, they talk relationships, she wants marriage. In his excitement and impulsiveness serious love talk and occurs and she is thinking marriage too. Some of these guys will commit to marriage in a matter of weeks and the women they met want it. Scary.
So who are the Asian women with these guys? More often than not, these are women who experienced heartbreak with a local man and now they want to try something different. Maybe she faces insurmountable financial obligations of supporting her poor retired parents and sees no way about but the Western man. Maybe she faces too much poverty and no future. Maybe she is lonely. Maybe she is a bar girl or former bar girl. She is probably Thai, Filipina or Chinese.
There are wonderful women in these Asian countries but the quality ones do not come so easily. If she is very attractive, educated and from a good family and has decent standards, she will not likely consider a much much older man, a guy with tattoos, a manual labor worker - you get the picture. It is not that easy! Many western guys who rush into a relationship with an Asian women but they are getting the leftovers, bottom fishing and don't even know it. Testosterone is calling the shots and she has got him right where she wants him. If she is quality, she will make you prove yourself first and only later will serious talk happen.
Quality women from Phil, Thailand and other parts of SEA are not so different than trying to date a Japanese, Korean or Taiwanese woman. The hurdles and expectations are very high. I see a lot of Western guys with subpar Asian ladies when they could do better. With experience and successive trips, the crop of candidates I lined up got better and better, it takes time and effort. Everyone measures quality differently, but for me, she should at least be attractive and have something on the ball!
No wonder there is so much filipina bashing on the forum, part of the problem is actually the over eager men and the choices they made in haste. I was amazed with how many filipinas told me they loved me after 1 week of online chatting LOL, are you kidding me!!! Some of these girls went on to meet other men online and commit to marriage in a few weeks. Mind boggling!
You can look at it this way. The quality of western guys that go to Asia are the not the best quality either. I seen this in my travels in Asia. If I did see a quality western guy he can get a decent Asian girl. So it goes both ways.
Quality women are hard to get anywhere. It takes time, money, and lots of work. Not to say that most of them are horrible, but many are not ideal quality if you're going through the difficulty of looking for a wife.
Mongering is easy. Finding a quality women for marriage isn't. The fact is it doesn't matter what you're country you're living, finding a quality women to marry isn't easy, no matter what country you're in.
Pretty much this.
Quality Asian women are hard to get, but not any harder then quality Western, quality African or quality Latina women. And quality women tend to end up with quality men, so it's hardly surprising a lot of white men end up with low quality Asian women - too many American men in Asia are miserable mongers who felt left out, and are trying to make up for lost time.
I think every man, and every woman, usually gets the partner they deserve.
I think as long as the culture has lots of decent values, and you look in the right places, and you're prepared to make a few compromises, it's probably not that hard. But then you have to raise them to keep them that way, which is easy or hard depending on how strongly you put your foot down.
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It would be foolish to think that just because a woman is Filippina, or Russian, or Chinese, or Japanese, or Indonesian, that she's going to be a quality wife. You have to be selective. They are going to be selective, especially if the woman is deciding who to marry. There may be some cultures left in Africa and Afghanistan where the girl's father is the one who is selective and decides on the husband with the girl. Just take him some livestock. But if you don't get to know her, you won't know what she's like.
Much of the ranting and bashing here about Asian women, especially Filipinas, is based on the guy making a poor choice. Of course we can be deceived when love struck so it is better to be selective before taking a trip to meet her (or them). Asian women have a way of stupefying Western men.
Agreed quality Asian women are very selective.
The problem is that not only the guy is making a poor choice, but is totally ignorant to listen to warnings from other Western men. Nowadays there are plenty of articles out on the internet and the argument 'I did not know this or that' is not valid anymore.
In general Asian countries are quite protective towards men in case of cheating and looting his wallet. However if the man gives VOLUNTARILY money to his Asian girlfriend with the stupid argument 'my bargirl is different', what should authorities do about it?
Filipina bashing? I can assure you that many Thai girls are much worse in this sense. However Western men lost often the ability to say clearly NO to overdemanding women. They give money to buy property in their name, shops, motorcycles and cars and are surprised when bankrupt and kicked out and all what he paid in good faith for a future together belongs to her and he sits alone in an airplane, direction back to Western society.
The point is if you are living in Asia as man (regardless if local or foreign man) you are legally better protected against malicious women than in Western countries.
Yes, true, some Western men (not only men from the USA) in Asia are really poor guys, owning nothing, living under miserable living conditions even by local standards, a life out of a suitcase... what options does he have except looking out for a low quality Asian girl?
You know, Marcos, we never know about our future and what all can happen to us. Especiall when passing the 60+.
I remember a man from Germany, I met in Cebu, he was free of tattoo and clearly not into alcohol and drugs, but looking rather unhealthy.
He was a low-educated worker in a factory, was married with one child, had his own house and garden - and when 55 he got a serious heart problem - out of hospital and rehabilitation facility a few months later, he found his wife with another man, he was legally divorced, his house gone to ex-wife and child (still a minor), and all income left was a small disability allowance and a suitcase with some personal belongings.
I don't think, he was lying to me, he also showed me his prescriptions, depending on medicine up to the end of his life.
He told me life is still better for him in Cebu than in Frankfurt in a sub-standard room - rent paid by welfare - especially during winter time where he would face the life almost like a beggar.
While in Thailand and Cambodia, I frequently meet men from Canada, USA, australia and UK but also from some EU-countries, who really lost everything they owned in their native countries due to divorce near to their retirement and are receiving now less than the half of their retirement allowances.
Where to go?
What is interesting maybe is that I NEVER met any Russian or otherwise Eastern European man in Asia, facing the same problems as men in Western countries. - It seems something different between East/West Europe.
She would be a virgin, preferably completely unkissed. All the good feminine qualities, including faithfulness. And fairly attractive. Not really a fantasy as much as a reasonable standard.
Wow, who sat on your muffins haha.
I guess that depends on how you define quality...I don't consider a girl with humility and very loving and caring a "feminist" just because she might be educated, attractive and have a good job. I met many women in Thailand who fit this description, they were anything but feminists. In fact, they expect you to be a man, lead the way and they will follow
"I guess that depends on how you define quality: she might be educated, attractive and have a good job."
A woman's job is to f**k you, raise your babies, clean and cook for you.
I do agree she should be attractive.