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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
Well it seems so, I have talked to a few and they don't even pretend to not like money. They make it obvious that they really like money.
I also saw a documentary on TV where many like early 20's Chinese guys were saying that in China if you don't have much money then women don't want to know you.
I also have talked to a few Chinese women and they made it clear what they like. They claim they like a man who is driven in his work and goals. (Apparently even if that means he see's his work as more important than her, something western women would never tolerate).
I also questioned them a bit and was thinking that it sounds weird (I was told that Chinese people don't like poor people), since in reality most Chinese men would be defined as borderline poor since they work a lot and don't have all the flashy things that most western people have. I mean heck, many men in China are just working in factories.
And apparently if Chinese women live in a western country they are basically the same, they want a rich white man (Probably why most of the time when I see them with a white man it's a far older and average looking business man).
Apparently if you are an average young guy with an average job then you probably should give Chinese women a miss as they will just perceive you as a poor loser.
It seems that any job that is better than a school teacher though is considered good enough that they wouldn't see you as a loser.
One also told me that she doesn't want the guy to be "stupid", apparently they have a different idea of what stupid it. I mean my IQ isn't exactly groundbreaking at 129, but I don't consider myself stupid. But what they consider stupid isn't anything to do with what us westerners see as intelligence it seems. They consider stupid as a man who has no goals and isn't going anywhere, as in not constantly improving yourself.
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How can these Chinese people be so silly? I mean it's like the pot calling the kettle black, even here in my country many of them just work in average jobs at best like in some cafe or restaurant or place in Chinatown selling food etc.
How can those people have the right to claim that they dislike poor people when they are basically poor people themselves. Heck they probably have less money than the people they consider poor in fact.
I have a hard time believing that some person selling pork buns in Chinatown is a rich person, they probably have less money than even a school teacher in fact.
Don't make assumptions like that. Not because it is unfair to generalize (who cares?), but because your individual experience may be different than most. I also wouldnt say that most of a certain type of women are gold digging. I think of things this way, if you lead with your wallet, then you will attract and get gold diggers. If you simply lead on your own, you'll know she is attracted to you, rather than to money.
There are lots of good looking women world wide who like average Joes. It is a fallacy of low self esteem to think that beautiful women only go for richer men.
Also consider that there would have to be many more beautiful women in a particular area than there are rich men. Even if your idea is correct, there would still be a surplus of beautiful women.
In short, stop worrying about what women want. Just focus on selecting between the women who are automatically attracted to you. Find your type of woman, instead of worrying if you are a particular woman's type.
Richer men do have a particular trait that many other men do not have, and it isnt money. It's determination. They are determined to get beautiful women. The money is just incidental, or maybe it serves to help raise their self esteem. If they weren't rich but had still set out to get beautiful women, they still would have gotten them.
A good man is above pettiness. He is better than that.
I would cut off any woman with unrealistic expectations, or who seems to be overly demanding. If you keep listening to them, it will simply make you cower around women, cause you'll always be thinking you need to please them. This is not the case. The first thing you need to concern yourself about is whether or not you make her gina tingle. If she is attracted to you, many of those so called requirements will go out the window. Besides, do you really want a slave driver for a wife? Give in to the demands of those materialistic women, and you'll see what it means to have a female master.
A good man is above pettiness. He is better than that.
Do you fellows live in some fantasy world where women don't care about a man's social status?
When you were coming of age, did you not meet Asian or Asian-American women, in corporate careers, looking for men who'd graduated from let's say Wharton or Harvard Business school, working in finance or management consulting, if not the traditional legal/medical careers?
Sure, you can add in areas like real estate mogul/developer or Silicon Valley investor-startup consultant to the list, but the effect is the same, it's about marrying up.
Many years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.
Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.
AB discussion thread
BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
OP, any woman will prefer a richer man to a poorer man. The Chinese are a bit more honest about this. That said, you have probably seen way too many of the uber-hot, spoiled "baifumei" Chinese girls on TV or YouTube or where ever. Those types are unattainable and many end up without marrying, a choice which is subsidized with daddy's money. This is a tiny minority of Chinese women, yet one that is well known and gets a lot of air time.
Do you really think China's population rose to nearly 1.5 billion with the majority of girls being like that? The truth is that most are nothing like that, despite (obviously) preferring a richer man to a poorer man. I'm in China now - it's my second time here - and I see a lot of families packed onto the little electric scooters that everyone drives around. Most girls marry a man who can only afford a scooter and not a car, although they surely have an apartment, which the man's parents will often help with. So if you ever come to China on a wife-seeking mission, go for the pretty (not hot) nice girls working in the shops or malls. Learn a little Chinese. China gets a bad rap because people are ignorant. It has its problems as does any country, yet it is often misunderstood or exaggerated.
By the way, if you make U.S. minimum wage (about $1000-$1200) a month, you are doing much better than the average Chinese guy and even that seemingly small wage will fulfill many Chinese womens' hypergamy, believe it or not.
There is a reason Chinese are doing so well financially, they are smart, savvy,practical and focused. Chinese are excelling in today's world from hard work and careful decision making.
So, because you are from a Anglosphere a Chinese lady should just bow down? I don't think so. They are not going to accept some loser, lazy person, or guy who is out of control. Showing discipline and responsibility in your life through higher education and holding a good job is one piece of evidence that the man has his shit together and could be a responsible husband and father. These girls, and or their families, have standards and aspirations. Maybe we are the ones that are "silly"?
By the way, the vast majority of Chinese women are not seeking a relationship with a Western man. Those that do are outliers and hope there will be benefits that outweigh the risks.
No matter where you go women are shallow and short sighted, the human race is shallow but women even more so then men. Chasing the financial dream isn't going to provide for their family tree long term, women should understand this but most don't.
The Chinese are just getting a slight taste of what America had so all this is natural compared to how things were for them less than 60 years ago but the game is getting late for humanity to grow up.
Time to Hide!
As a Chinese-Canadian in China who does not fit the image of a well-educated, successful overseas Asian nor a native Chinese, I would say that going a 'third way' makes peoples' impressions of me 50/50. They are initially suspicious because I'm a rebel who deviates from what they have been taught to believe, but as time goes on most find me pretty cool. More often than not they will start to see truth in what I'm saying, because I challenge them to think for themselves and leave political correctness behind. Too many Chinese are focused on the mundane details of life, while I'm more of an idealist and intellectual that could bother less with mainstream society.
Now, to address the question brought up by this post, my answer would be "mostly yes." I don't like to make gross generalizations (because there will be the occasional exception) but most of the time women whose looks are in the top 3-5% tend to be bitchy and demanding with all sorts of issues. If they are proud of their looks and status as women, I'm proud of my intellect and inner strength as a man. Chinese history has proven that life doesn't go too well for very beautiful women.
I only need a woman that I think is decently attractive. What I really look for are intellectual compatibility, shared interests, emotional understanding, and how well she can take care of me. When it comes to sex, many beautiful women actually SUCK in bed. In the end, all you need is ONE. To me it's a waste of time analyzing male-female dynamics, so my advice to all of you would be to stop making things more complicated than they should be.
If a woman keeps trying to change me into someone I'm not, then that's goodbye for me.
Another thing I've noticed about ambitious, career-oriented Chinese women is that they say they want a man who's just as driven as they are but end up going for a guy like me. They realize that successful Chinese men are often calculating and domineering with bad tempers, so they eventually desire someone that's just simple and caring. They are tough on the outside but sensitive within, although a large number truly have a heart of stone. A man just as driven as they are may have totally incompatible goals, or have similar goals but insist on doing things their own way. Two equally ambitious individuals often sets a house on fire. A Chinese man who's busy making a career for himself often won't have enough time to invest in relationships, and that's when these women start complaining. No one's perfect, and to be honest as a man I would not completely throw away the financial benefits of being with a woman, I'll use it when I need it. I'd be OK dating a fairly well off woman but she must have at least some of those inner qualities I'm looking for.
I general women are a financial cancer.
Hypergamy is the norm among Chinese women. While it is technically illegal in China, polygamy is still in common practice. Guys of means will have different women in different cities.
You had the one child policy, a lot of spoiled rotten women,
You have the sex ratio imbalance which is extreme, this is always highly detrimental to women attitudes as they get excessive male attention.
In fact its the worst on the planet by large margin
Everyone I know that has married Chinese women have always had a lot of problems with them.
True I have had my fun in China. And its a large country, its not one homogeneous mass, many different ethic groups.
If you go to somewhere like Shanghai you might as well be in New York as far as cost go. Its the gold digger capitol of China. Yet you could go to somewhere like Chengdu and have a very different experience.
Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen, Guangzhou, even Chongqing belong to the territory of gold diggers. I have an Arcadian soul that's fully incompatible with major cities. Most of the women in these first tier cities seem not to care about what I have to offer as an individual. To be frank with myself I don't really have anything special about me, I'm just a sweet, caring average person. Dealing with women from these cities is like playing an MMO where you are a skilled player but always lose in PvP because everyone else hoards expensive gear.
Women from outside the major cities who have not integrated themselves into cosmopolitan culture are still a good fit. One of the bullshit things I hear from some women is that they want a man who has 上进心, or drive. What they do not realize is that once a man becomes successful he WILL have options, many of them. So, to all you foolish ladies out there, drop your arms, be honest with yourself, and just be content. Dance in the fields!