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DateinAsia help

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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DateinAsia help

Postby mentor » Mon Jul 27, 2015 6:04 pm

I joined DIA in order to know asian girls, as I am looking for a long term relationship.
Mainly I look for girl from Philippines.
I have some questions about the whole ‘game’ there, so people with experience in DIA(dateinasia.com) would help with their opinions and advice.


- I prefer to show my interest, firstly by pressing ‘interested’ button. I just want to see a fast reaction from them. Is this a good tactic? I am not ready to begin chatting if a girl does not even interested in me. So, I find useful this feature, for a first quick check. Opinions about it?

- With some girls I was the first that I made the contact, while other girls they firstly contacted me by themselves, and many of them(but not all!) I liked them. I think it is a good idea to start a conversation with the second option, maybe there are better possibilities. What do you think?

- After how many months of a profile being offline, do you think that it is unlikely to return online again? I see some interesting profiles, I know that many girls do not have internet at their homes, but I do not know how you can tell what is almost deactivated/retired or not.

- Generally speaking, how much stable are these declarations in their profiles? Did they change their mind if they want to make a good touch with a guy? For example, if a girl says in her profile that ‘want children: yes’, and I have in my profile ‘want children: no’, how could ever be a join between us, with such a huge difference? However, even in such cases, some girls send me messages! Do they hope that I change my mind? Or they are ready to change their mind?
If I know that there is not stability in their minds, and most of them are ready to align with me and my beliefs, this could be nice, because I could contact many more girls.
I just want to know, what applies to most girls.

- I know that many of them are ‘jolly’ persons. But, the word ‘joy’ that joins the usernames, does it mean something or nothing at all? (secret meaning maybe)
mentor
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby Lorenzo » Mon Jul 27, 2015 10:01 pm

mentor wrote:I joined DIA in order to know asian girls, as I am looking for a long term relationship.
Mainly I look for girl from Philippines.
I have some questions about the whole ‘game’ there, so people with experience in DIA(dateinasia.com) would help with their opinions and advice.


- I prefer to show my interest, firstly by pressing ‘interested’ button. I just want to see a fast reaction from them. Is this a good tactic? I am not ready to begin chatting if a girl does not even interested in me. So, I find useful this feature, for a first quick check. Opinions about it?

- With some girls I was the first that I made the contact, while other girls they firstly contacted me by themselves, and many of them(but not all!) I liked them. I think it is a good idea to start a conversation with the second option, maybe there are better possibilities. What do you think?

- After how many months of a profile being offline, do you think that it is unlikely to return online again? I see some interesting profiles, I know that many girls do not have internet at their homes, but I do not know how you can tell what is almost deactivated/retired or not.

- Generally speaking, how much stable are these declarations in their profiles? Did they change their mind if they want to make a good touch with a guy? For example, if a girl says in her profile that ‘want children: yes’, and I have in my profile ‘want children: no’, how could ever be a join between us, with such a huge difference? However, even in such cases, some girls send me messages! Do they hope that I change my mind? Or they are ready to change their mind?
If I know that there is not stability in their minds, and most of them are ready to align with me and my beliefs, this could be nice, because I could contact many more girls.
I just want to know, what applies to most girls.

- I know that many of them are ‘jolly’ persons. But, the word ‘joy’ that joins the usernames, does it mean something or nothing at all? (secret meaning maybe)


Please see my post about selecting good Asian women from online dating sites:
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=27312

I wish I knew then what I know now. Don't do anything more until you get your profile looking awesome, and be careful and sincere with your words. The best women on this sites get bombarded by foreign men, many who are looking for a sex holiday with a girl or just having fun. The ladies need to know you have serious intentions and aren't playing.

With that said, be selective. You can waste a massive amount of time with girls you would never marry. Enter your selective criteria in the search.

As for your questions, if she has not been online for a week don't bother. If she does not have access to do webcam, don't bother. If she has written virtually nothing, just one short stupid sentence, don't bother. If what she wrote something that does not makes sense, don't bother becoz she/her is in Kenya lol. If she wants kids and you don't, don't bother...problems will come out later. Better to have patience and find the right match. Do express interest and write first, good Asian ladies are more shy and expect you to take the first step. DateinAsia might be a first step for you, a practice field, and after getting some experience, join Cherryblossoms or filipinocupid.com but be wary of all the money seekers and scammers. Keep in mind you should be willing to travel within 3 months to meet one or more prospects. By making this commitment you will be taken seriously. If you do get serious with one, ask her how she feels about you and when the time is right close your profile and go exclusive.

There is a lot you will never know about these Asian girls and they will never tell you ;)

Getting girls lined up and waiting for you is easy, finding the right one is not. Happy hunting!
Lorenzo
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby MrMan » Tue Jul 28, 2015 1:05 am

Just in general, if you don't want children and you marry a woman from that part of the world, don't do it unless you are willing to change your mind about the don't want children part. If she puts she wants children and you don't, maybe she's just so concerned about getting a husband that she'll worry about the children part later.

Maybe she thinks, "Lots of guys say they don't want children. Who doesn't want children? I can change his mind later after I get pregnant."

Or maybe she doesn't care much, but she'd kind of like to have children.

Isn't this a mostly Filippino site? I think in that part of the world, like in Indonesia, just about everyone who marries wants kids. It comes with the deal. If you never have kids, you aren't blessed. It's a reproach. I had an Indonesian uncle (by marriage) who was a policeman. He had no kids at the time. Someone I talked to around where he worked (at a food stall) said he knew him. He said, "Oh, yeah, that guy who doesn't have any kids." Eventually, he got a second wife to have a child, got kicked out of his church, and his child called both his first and second wife 'mamak.' His first wife inherited his estate. I'm not sure how she handled the estate and the child. I think she was supposed to share somehow. That uncle and his wife are from a people group that aren't polygamous. But they all want to have kids. In ages past, they practiced ancestor worship and there were still some people who pray to ancestors.

Anyway, if you really don't want kids, I agree with the comment that you should just focus on them. You can search for that kind of criteria, right?

One of the posters who lived in the Philippines and used the site said they almost never look as good as their photo, which doesn't show problems like dental problems, complexion, etc.

If guys use this site to find girls to have sex with or to flirt with and you want to marry, you could emphasize that you are looking for a wife in your profile and write about your criteria in a very positive-sounding way.
MrMan
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby mentor » Tue Jul 28, 2015 5:27 am

Thanks for the feedback guys.
I think your advice will help me save time and make a better choice, avoiding problems in my personal life.

----

- So, you suggest don't bother with girls that have to appear online for more than a week, or lets give it some time, about a month. But that's it, ok?

- About a personal meeting with a chosen girl, when this time would come, I prefer paying her the plane to come to me, and see how we can live together, and how it goes, instead of going to Philippines. I know that this way I miss the chance to observe her in her environment, but personal matters prevent me of travelling there.
I don't know if I should tell this from the beginning, in my profile.
But tell me, do they accept to come to man's country for knowing each other better?
I hope that many serious looking girls, would do it.

- I don't want kids. So, should I search only for these ones that declare 'no' kids, or maybe additionally the ones that declare 'not sure'?

- Also, I search for girls that declare 'yes' in relocation. Should I totally exclude the ones declare 'not sure'?
mentor
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby Ghost » Tue Jul 28, 2015 9:48 am

Just be direct and send a message. The interest button is useless. The turnover rate seems pretty high, so it's better to meet girls there right before you go to her country. Waiting too long might mean she disappears first. They of course can come back to the site, but don't count on it. And you can always message women to talk about the differences in your profiles. Never know, maybe you'll be able to work it out.
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby Lorenzo » Tue Jul 28, 2015 3:53 pm

mentor wrote:- About a personal meeting with a chosen girl, when this time would come, I prefer paying her the plane to come to me, and see how we can live together, and how it goes, instead of going to Philippines. I know that this way I miss the chance to observe her in her environment, but personal matters prevent me of travelling there.


Sorry to say this, but you are probably wasting your time. Lots of flipinas will race over to see you if you get her a visa and pay for travel. These girls will need a visa that most don't have and You must sponsor, and sending money to them for travel is a big no no. Weeding out the scammers and visa seekers is a dangerous game when money is at stake, and immigration will hold you personally responsible and maybe have to post a bond and buy their medical insurance.

The girls that do travel to the USA are Westernized and spoiled. I knew several from Thailand coming over for business and they were not the gentle, humble types and had already met a lot of guys in the USA. Better to find one where you are living, and if you are in the USA, anywhere there. For example, in Las Vegas there are tons filipino and thai ladies and the competition is not too bad.

Better yet, do some soul searching. Are you really serious about it and committed? If so, then plan to travel to those countries. Good hunting!
Lorenzo
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby mentor » Tue Jul 28, 2015 5:38 pm

Lorenzo wrote:
mentor wrote:- About a personal meeting with a chosen girl, when this time would come, I prefer paying her the plane to come to me, and see how we can live together, and how it goes, instead of going to Philippines. I know that this way I miss the chance to observe her in her environment, but personal matters prevent me of travelling there.


Sorry to say this, but you are probably wasting your time. Lots of flipinas will race over to see you if you get her a visa and pay for travel. These girls will need a visa that most don't have and You must sponsor, and sending money to them for travel is a big no no. Weeding out the scammers and visa seekers is a dangerous game when money is at stake, and immigration will hold you personally responsible and maybe have to post a bond and buy their medical insurance.

The girls that do travel to the USA are Westernized and spoiled. I knew several from Thailand coming over for business and they were not the gentle, humble types and had already met a lot of guys in the USA. Better to find one where you are living, and if you are in the USA, anywhere there. For example, in Las Vegas there are tons filipino and thai ladies and the competition is not too bad.

Better yet, do some soul searching. Are you really serious about it and committed? If so, then plan to travel to those countries. Good hunting!



Useful comment indeed.
So, I am not forced to tell anything about a future meeting, just to protect myself from scammers.
If I talk to a girl for months and I am sure (as sure as I can be...) about her, I can offer her to come and see me.
mentor
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby mentor » Tue Jul 28, 2015 5:41 pm

--------

Anybody can tell his opinion about some of my questions that some forum members already gave an opinion/answer.

But let me repeat the questions that I got no response at all, and I need opinions:


- With some girls I was the first that I made the contact, while other girls they firstly contacted me by themselves, and many of them(but not all!) I liked them. I think it is a good idea to start a conversation with the second option, maybe there are better possibilities. What do you think?

- Generally speaking, how much stable are these declarations in their profiles? Did they change their mind if they want to make a good touch with a guy? For example, if a girl says in her profile that ‘want children: yes’, and I have in my profile ‘want children: no’, how could ever be a join between us, with such a huge difference? However, even in such cases, some girls send me messages! Do they hope that I change my mind? Or they are ready to change their mind?
If I know that there is not stability in their minds, and most of them are ready to align with me and my beliefs, this could be nice, because I could contact many more girls.
I just want to know, what applies to most girls.

- I don't want kids. So, should I search only for these ones that declare 'no' kids, or maybe additionally the ones that declare 'not sure'?

- Also, I search for girls that declare 'yes' in relocation. Should I totally exclude the ones declare 'not sure'?

- New question: sort results by 'last active' or 'smart sort'? I saw that there are profiles in each way that does not appear if you choose the other way! It is not just an order of appearance but if a profile displays at all!
mentor
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby Lorenzo » Tue Jul 28, 2015 7:01 pm

mentor wrote:--------

Anybody can tell his opinion about some of my questions that some forum members already gave an opinion/answer.

But let me repeat the questions that I got no response at all, and I need opinions:


Actually I did answer several of these but will reply again below:

- With some girls I was the first that I made the contact, while other girls they firstly contacted me by themselves, and many of them(but not all!) I liked them. I think it is a good idea to start a conversation with the second option, maybe there are better possibilities. What do you think?
SEND HER A WRITTEN MESSAGE IF YOU ARE INTERESTED. IT IS FINE IF THEY CONTACT YOU FIRST, SHE IS MORE EAGER, BUT THE BEST ONES ARE NOT DESPERATE OR OVERLY EAGER. TAKE THE INITIATIVE. THE INTEREST BUTTON IS NOT ENOUGH. GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT AND DON'T HOLD BACK.

- Generally speaking, how much stable are these declarations in their profiles? Did they change their mind if they want to make a good touch with a guy? For example, if a girl says in her profile that ‘want children: yes’, and I have in my profile ‘want children: no’, how could ever be a join between us, with such a huge difference? However, even in such cases, some girls send me messages! Do they hope that I change my mind? Or they are ready to change their mind?
If I know that there is not stability in their minds, and most of them are ready to align with me and my beliefs, this could be nice, because I could contact many more girls.
I just want to know, what applies to most girls.
NOBODY CAN ANSWER THAT, IT DEPENDS ON THE INDIVIDUAL GIRL. THEY ARE ALSO TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT

- I don't want kids. So, should I search only for these ones that declare 'no' kids, or maybe additionally the ones that declare 'not sure'?
YOU GOT SEVERAL REPLIES TO THIS ALREADY - VIRTUALLY ALL YOUNG ASIAN LADIES WANT KIDS, CHINA POSSIBLY LESS SO. MY BUDDY GOT DIVORCED TO HIS THAI BRIDE BECAUSE SHE CHANGED HER MIND AFTER INITIALLY TELLING HIM SHE WOULD AGREE NO KIDS. WHY TAKE THE RISK? SOME LADIES WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR IN THE MOMENT BUT THEY CHANGE BACK LATER TO WHAT THEIR HEART TELLS THEM.

- Also, I search for girls that declare 'yes' in relocation. Should I totally exclude the ones declare 'not sure'?
IF THEY SAY "NOT SURE" THAT IS FINE GIVE IT A TRY. IF SHE FALLS IN LOVE SHE WILL FOLLOW YOU.

- New question: sort results by 'last active' or 'smart sort'? I saw that there are profiles in each way that does not appear if you choose the other way! It is not just an order of appearance but if a profile displays at all!
LAST ACTIVE IS NICER BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY ARE USING THE SITE.

ALSO DON'T BOTHER WITH REVERSE MATCH. IF A GIRL SPECIFIED UP TO 40 YRS SHE WILL TAKE A GUY 45 YRS OR MORE IN SOME CASES.

Good luck
Lorenzo
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby MrMan » Tue Jul 28, 2015 8:19 pm

I think it's better to go there than to fly a woman out to meet you. I know one mixed white and Indonesian couple where the woman told the guy she was flying to the US to meet her. He wasn't sure if she was serious and showed their correspondence to a friend. She sad that woman will be on the plane. Since she flew out to meet him, he married her. She was past normal marrying age over there and wanted a husband.

I don't think it's wise to fly a girl over. If you want to marry a nice girl, you need to meet her dad anyway and ask his permission. It's best to meet the parents well before that. You can meet them by Skype if you get serious with her through talking on Skype, but it's best face to face, especially as a matter of showing them respect.

If you are looking for a life, this is more serious than ordering an IPad cover from overseas online. You actually need to go there.

A nice girl may not even go out on a first date with you alone there. She may bring a friend for safety, reputation, and to stay out of trouble. If she's a virgin, she may not want to fly over and sleep in your house, and her parents may not want you doing that.

I don't know if it's easy to get visas to where you live, either. It is easy for people from western countries to go to developing countries as tourists, and why would you not want to experience the trip?
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby mentor » Wed Jul 29, 2015 9:26 am

It was a bad decision from DIA to remove 'account creation date' from being visible for users, this is my opinion.
I would prefer to contact girls who has been on site for some years, instead of newbies.
I think there are better possibilities for a more reliable girl if she was there for years, instead of a new member who maybe vanish tomorrow(scammers etc).
mentor
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby Lorenzo » Wed Jul 29, 2015 3:51 pm

mentor wrote:It was a bad decision from DIA to remove 'account creation date' from being visible for users, this is my opinion.
I would prefer to contact girls who has been on site for some years, instead of newbies.
I think there are better possibilities for a more reliable girl if she was there for years, instead of a new member who maybe vanish tomorrow(scammers etc).


Many of the girls who have been online dating 2 years or more have serious defects they are hiding. And many have met and had sex with Western guys but the will never disclose that for fear of lowering their value. A sincree newbie is better, the best ones go quickly.
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby mentor » Thu Jul 30, 2015 6:12 am

I tell it, thinking this way:
an older profile, maybe means that she is not a scammer.
Scammers are usually reported for their 'wrong' or 'bothering' attitude, so I think they disappear soon.
A new profile, it has to be 'seen' if is a nice one or not.

Using internet cached/archived pages, I was able to find for some profiles I was interested, for example that two years ago they declare 'has children:yes' and today their profile declare 'has children: no'. Of course, these kids did not died, they do exist, but now they hide this truth from their profile.
Having some 'past' to watch, reveals several useful things.

Of course in any case I have to find out if she is honest or not, but wouldn't it be better if I could avoid myself some trouble?

With these thoughts I told I would prefer profiles that are not new.
mentor
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby mentor » Thu Jul 30, 2015 9:37 am

I know most people today are having facebook account, and I belong to the minority that I am against this vast social experiment, but in my opinion I don't think it is a good sign if a profile displays:

-facebook account (all the time, 'socializing'?)
-viber/skype/telephone number, being there for every single user

Maybe in most cases this comes from their initial innocence, but I don't think it is a good sign if a girl is all the time on the net, chatting, posting photos, comments, or giving her skype/phone number to all the people.

It would be better for a girl not having fb account, or give skype account to the one she chooses.

Usually I tend to skip these profiles.
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Re: DateinAsia help

Postby mentor » Fri Jul 31, 2015 9:25 am

Τhe word ‘joy’ that joins the usernames, does it mean something or nothing at all?
mentor
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