Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
I like how you're branching out, Dave!
Nice video. And a very interesting subject. Assuming you'll have a child within the next year or so, you'd be 63 when the little one is born, right? With today's medical science most make it to 83, so you would be around for the formative years of your childs life. If you decided to give the kid a sibling (only children are awfully spoiled in my experience), lets say you'd have one by the time you're 65.
Plenty of men keel over from a heart attack at forty or even fifty. Whereas my grandmothers uncle, who had his last kid at 70, lived to 101. That means the kid he fathered at the age of seventy, five years past retirement, had his father in his life for his first 31 years. Hell, he even lived to see his son get married! There's no shortage of men in today's world whose fathers or mothers die before they walk down the aisle.
Of course these are extreme examples, but with a young wife keeping you fit and active, you may be around for a very long time. And surely the life of a white, tall-nosed kid in the Philippines with an army of doting relatives won't be too bad either way?
Good luck to you and Janet. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Very interesting topic Dave! If it is something you and Janet want and feel conviction about then go for it and get plenty of practice
Sorry to say this, but honestly there are some very tough reality checks you must first consider to your plans. I don't know your finances, so if you are rich your plan will be easier. If you are not rich, I question retiring and raising a child in the Philippines. The costs to properly raise a healthy child might require you to work again. Finding good employment at your age is very difficult. Second, the Philippines is substandard no matter how hard you try to create a quality environment - healthcare, education, services. The educational system in Phil is one of the most pathetic in the world and your child will interact with others having the average IQ of 86. Lastly, it is not "if", but "when" YOU WILL die...we all will.
Guys like Marcos can be your cheerleader but he is younger, inexperienced and living in Phil below our Western standards. I have already raised kids through college and my new wife wants a child together. I understand how the employment situation changes for seniors and this is one of my greatest concerns - supporting my family to the standards that I aspire for them. I told myself no kids after 52 for many reasons. Everyone a has to make the judgement for themselves what is the right number.
I don't think you would have made that video unless you were trying to justify it to yourself and maybe get support and/or feedback. We know your wife is expecting it, and I understand why you would want to avoid raising a child in America. But raising a child in one of the most impoverished countries in the world on retirement income is does not seem more attractive.
In any event, best wishes conceiving a healthy child
There is no way I will work post retirement (still working now) unless it's for just a bit of fun.I am not rich by American standards but let's just say I can afford a nice life including a child in the Philippines. Having had two I think that people wildly overestimate the cost of raising children. In addition, as I wrote about in my blog, US Social Security sends money for a child living with a parent (or even a grandparent) who is receiving Social Security retirement benefits. The amount of the check is approx. 1/2 of what I will receive monthly. We will take a nice chunk of that check and bank it for education and the rest can pay for Pampers or San Miguel:) As I said in the video, unlike some expats who live solely on social security (which can also be done) I am set up for the future - well reasonably well set up.
I would agree in one main area you mentioned (nothing to do with kids) and that is if a guy needs to live by Western standards, he won't save much in the Philippines. But not only don't I want to do that, I will do my best and already am to create a comfortable environment but an environment free from some of the needless costs we have in the US; many of which I have certainly indulged in in the past.
But I suspect you are right that one of my reasons for blogging is to throw out my ideas to the universe, reinforce or reject them, and yes to encourage those who have the same questions and concerns.
My wife wants to have kids . I'm not sure if I want kids besides that BIG issue my marriage is good. My wife is early 30's and I'm almost 40 so it's not like we are really young and the decision to make a baby is a BIG one.
So I give props for your decision to raise a child..it's not easy and it is costly. I guess for all the fathers here you have experience and know how much stress good and bad there is in having child.
Goddamn welfare queen leeches freeloading off decent society.
Thanks for the laugh. A solid member of "decent society" is not exactly how I picture you
That being said, some of what Social Security covers is controversial but the difference between SS and welfare is that we have directly paid into the social security system and the amount we get out of the system at retirement is directly connected to what we paid into it. The reality is that many guys pay hundreds of thousands into the system and never live long enough to collect a dime of it. I am hoping not to be one of those
Bottom line is we all take advantage of what's available and legal. Whenever someone complains about this stuff I ask him "When you file your taxes do you take the maximum amount of deductions the law allows?" The answer is invariably, "Of course. I'd be stupid not to." "Then why shouldn't I take the maximum amount of benefits that the law allows?" It's not fraudulent; we're entitled to it.
I mentioned the benefit, not so much to brag (it certainly wasn't the topic of my video) but because a previous poster questioned whether I would be financially able to handle a child and I wanted to assure him that I was reasonably well fixed, both personally and based on my social security benefits.
For that matter I will also receive a small (all too small) pension from my employer. Just like Social Security that pension is based on what I and my employer put into the pension system. And just like Social Security, if I die early, my wife does get some of the benefit. That's as it should be.
I just had a conversation about this with my 21-year-old Filipina friend. She doubts my ability to start a family at age 47. I put our conversation below. Looks like I haven't convinced her. Oh well...
Irene : hmmfp. .do u have a plan to have a family my dear. .
Hero: Yes, I would like kids some day.
Irene:. .but ur already 47 my dear. .
Hero: That's not too old.
Irene: yes my dear nOt toO old but wat would be happen to ur chldren wen u are at age of 80s
Hero:Hopefully my children would be grown by the time I'm 80
Irene:. .hmmfp. .wen ur married at age of 50
Hero:Yes, I hope to get married by age 50
Irene :. .i hope u cAn find ur girl my dear. .
Sounds like you have the opposite problem of most of us older guys (not that 47 is that old). That is most of the Filipinas I spoke with wanted kids and asked if I was OK with it. I said I was under certain circumstances. But in your case, you want kids. I dont think you will have a problem finding a Filipina who wants that also.
But clearly, Irene isn't the one.
Last edited by davewe on September 15th, 2015, 6:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Many/most of the genuinely pretty ones who are in 20s, esp. early 20s will have doubts and issues about guys who are much older.
There are signs that middle class is growing quickly here. Passenger car sales are rising 30-40% year-on-year. Condo buildings are being constructed all over the place in Metro Manila and to a lessor extent Cebu with over 90% of buyers being Filipino citizens. The girls are probably getting pickier as each year progresses. It's a byproduct of rapid economic growth we've seen already in so many other countries in recent years or decades.
If you can appreciate hard core Malay features, dark skin, and perhaps skinny shorter build, then you will have a much easier time attracting some of the poorer province girls as many of them still fit that mold. It's probably better to pass on urban squatter girls tho even tho many also look very Malay.
But you will generally need some very strong sales and courting skills to convince a young girl who is regarded as cute or better in a local context and childless to seriously consider an older kano as a credible potential life partner.
Actually, this is an unemployed girl from the provinces who's living in Manila now. Plus she's worried about becoming an old maid. Strange that she'd be so picky.
You said she's 21 right? Is she childless? What does she look like?
Yes, she's 21. If she has a kid, she hasn't mentioned it. She's cute but short. Good complexion, dark skin, good teeth, round face
Some will be pickier than others, all else equal. As a 21 yr. old in Metro Manila, she will probably be able to find some contract work pretty easily I reckon.
Yeah, I think that Manila girls are more challenging. This girl confuses me because she keeps calling me "dear" and "my dear". I wonder how she really feels about me.