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For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby MarcosZeitola » Fri Sep 11, 2015 10:11 am

I do not feel superior because at the end of the day, my father-in-law is an Asian man and he's the one who put my wife, the woman I love most, on this world. My sons will be half-Asian biologically, and fully Asian culturally as they are raised in Asia. When I go into business, I go into business with Asian men. When I have a drink, I have a drink with Asian men. I stay clear of the expat community, not just by choice but mainly because there's hardly any non-Asian men in my community. Which I'm completely fine with.

Since I knew from the day I met my wife that my sons would be Asian, I began to look at the male members of my wife's family and circle of friends and focus primarily on the positive, admirable qualities they display. How some of these tiny brown men could drink me under the table with ease, how plenty of them got around far more then me, plenty of them work harder then me. What good would it do me to focus on a few superficial physical qualities that set us apart, when they are my guides in the new country and society I wish to be a part of?

I think Pete and Zboy have it right. And I believe that, when I would start to feel too superior just because I'm a big white dude (hardly an accomplishment as no one gets to pick and choose their genes), some of that might rub off on my children and I don't want that. I want to blend in more, rather then stick out like a sore thumb. If ever I feel superior, it's because I felt that way in my own country too. ;) My mindset has not changed.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby chanta76 » Fri Sep 11, 2015 3:46 pm

marcos,

In some your threads you mentioned that some if not many filipina women desire to have mixed babies because for whatever reason they have. I mean what does that say about Philippine people? It's like they look down on themselves..their own features are not worthy enough..and yes..if I was a white guy I would exploit that to my advantage..and yes LIGHT skin Asian guys from Japan or Korea can have that advantage too but if you think it about..I mean really think about it. It's kind of sad that some Asian folks feel this way about themselves.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby chanta76 » Fri Sep 11, 2015 3:56 pm

The_Adventurer wrote:
chanta76 wrote:What I do have a problem is white guys thinking..just because they are white that automatically Asian girls want them. Or that they are better physically or mentally compare to Asian men so therefore they are the better catch. It's like how black men think of themselves getting white women from white men..is this ALWAYS the case. NO.
You lived in China..you must met a good amount of Asian women who couldnt give a rats a** about white guys. I did when I was in Asia. In South Korea I met bunch of Korean girls who couldn't give rat a** but the white guys saw themselves as these white knight that has to rescue when there is no rescuing needed.


I think a lot of white guys have every reason to feel or think that way. You have to think about how it appears from their perspective. Even if only a tiny percentage of girls are interested in them, from their side it results in a constant stream of attention everywhere they go.

Recently we were doing business in Shanghai with some guys from Europe. Both late thirties, early forties. Both average white guys, not fit or movie stars at all. I have seen the kind of attention they get, and it is non-stop. Since I speak Chinese, I also hear the comments made about them. Among girls I kind of know, like waitresses at the places we frequent, they tell me directly. Now, maybe if you do the numbers, it's not even 2% of girls who are interested, but to the foreigner it still seems as though he is hounded everywhere he goes.

One of them learned of Wechat recently. My Chinese friend, a bit of a player, did the thing where you search girls in your immediate area based on distance. We were at a bar and he got a hot girl to come and join us. He has that skill. So the next day, one of the white foreigners tried it. His phone blew up. He was getting naked pictures and everything. The next day he closed his account because it just didn't stop.

You think that wouldn't go to someone's head? The consistency of it would make it feel like every girl wants them.



I seen this too South Korea..I hunged out with bunch of ESL teachers..all white guys back in 2004. I wanted to see first hand if it was true do white guys in Asia have it that easy. We went to some clubs and it was EASY for them..too easy. I mean they couldn't really speak Korean and none of them were really good looking or stood out but just being white gave them that access.

I can't help but felt jealously and bitterness because back in USA allot of my Asian male friends struggled in the dating market..it's like for some Asian folks they do have this white worship mentality. White guys in Asia take advantage of it and in some cases over monger like places in the Philippines..for example...however, there is the other side of everything. Since I'm Korean and speak Korean there are lots of Korean girls that avoided white guys like if they were the plague..and I can hear them speaking bad things in Korean. So it's extremes cases for white guys either they like you or not.

places like South Korea and Japan has reach a point nowadays that being white is not enough..so it's like it reach a saturation point so nowadays you meet white guys who speak Korean or Japanese to get girls in the past that was not the case.

This is the down sided though...other race guys like black or brown guys ..don't get the same treatment...maybe in much smaller scale in small degrees but white privilege still exist in Asia. As an Asian man I have mix feelings..I resent it because being Asian in America I'm constantly experience racism and second class treatment..but at the same time I ask myself if I was a white guy I would take full advantage of it and PROTECT the status que so I can get my way.

How Chinese men feel? Do they get jealous and start cock blocking or they don't care?
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby MarcosZeitola » Fri Sep 11, 2015 8:37 pm

chanta76 wrote:marcos,

In some your threads you mentioned that some if not many filipina women desire to have mixed babies because for whatever reason they have. I mean what does that say about Philippine people? It's like they look down on themselves..their own features are not worthy enough..and yes..if I was a white guy I would exploit that to my advantage..and yes LIGHT skin Asian guys from Japan or Korea can have that advantage too but if you think it about..I mean really think about it. It's kind of sad that some Asian folks feel this way about themselves.


It is, and I'm not going to lie: I am well aware of this fact, and it's actually one of the reasons why I prefer having my children grow up in the Philippines. Rather then being ostractized for their mixed-race heritage, the way some mixed kids are in other countries, in the Philippines they would be praised for being tall, light-skinned and tall-nosed. They will have the type of look the people they see on their TV programs, soap operas and Big Brother editions have. So they sort of start their lives at an advantage. An unfair advantage, perhaps, but an advantage nonetheless.

It's a shame so many people are negative about their own natural looks, their own God-given natural appearance. I know my wife did not consciously go for a white guy just for this reason; it never was on her list of priorities. In fact all her crushes prior to meeting me at age 18, had been Filipino guys. When I see how well some of these guys do with the local girls, I can't really buy into tales of racial superiority. You'll always be an outsider unless you lived there for so long, speak the language so well... my children will have that advantage, and also the added benefit of Caucasian features.

At the end of the day we all want to be in a place where we can thrive, and I want to be in a place where my offspring can thrive. The Philippines, for a number of reasons, is that place for me. It's a combination of culture, colonialism and also rooted in the nations history where even prior to Spanish involvement, the noble families were those of pale skin and the commoners those of a darker complexion.

I aim to make the best use of the advantage this has given me, not for myself, but for my family. For me the advantage my skin has given me in the Philippines, is zero. Being born in a fairly wealthy white country allowed me to save up, invest, and travel. It allowed me to find love and make the move abroad. But once I am in the Philippines, my skin becomes more of a liability if anything... I'm not a single man, I'm not a playboy, I won't spend my days with prostitutes like Winston did, or chasing low-hanging fruits. In my business dealings, I find that being white is a disadvantage if anything, because people will assume you are rich and overcharge you forcing me to often rely on my (thankfully very reliable) Filipino relatives to negotiate for me, or pretend to buy things for themselves.

Had I been a single guy, I would be able to sleep with tons of girls no doubt, but that has never been my goal in going to the Philippines. I came to Asia not to get laid, because getting laid was never the issue for me. I came to Asia because it's a place that makes me happy. Because I found love here and started a family. And so it seems incredibly petty, and pointless, to compare myself to the local men just to boost my own ego, when those local men are my friends and their children go to school with my children. When I drink with them, talk with them, attend the weddings of their relatives and their baptisms. I'm a part of the community, go to their church, go to their stores to buy food and use the same public transportation.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby Gadfly » Sat Sep 12, 2015 3:21 am

Chanta76,

didn't you say you're married? To a Korean girl? How's that working out for you?

To be honest, I don't find myself obsessing about so-called white privilege in Asia. No doubt it's real in certain situations, but so what? And I'm Asian too. Nor do I particularly care what white guys with Asian wives think. It has no relevance in my own life.

If you're in America right now, maybe you should make plans to move out. Probably to Korea, where you would still see only a few non-Asians or white people. If you move there, and if you're busy with work and daily life, it might help to shift the focus away from race, and towards more personal, and frankly more important, issues.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby OutWest » Sat Sep 12, 2015 4:27 am

Gadfly wrote:Chanta76,

didn't you say you're married? To a Korean girl? How's that working out for you?

To be honest, I don't find myself obsessing about so-called white privilege in Asia. No doubt it's real in certain situations, but so what? And I'm Asian too. Nor do I particularly care what white guys with Asian wives think. It has no relevance in my own life.

If you're in America right now, maybe you should make plans to move out. Probably to Korea, where you would still see only a few non-Asians or white people. If you move there, and if you're busy with work and daily life, it might help to shift the focus away from race, and towards more personal, and frankly more important, issues.



How true. I am married to an Asian woman, with two Eurasian children from my first marriage, and one with my current wife. The reality is that within the vast East Asian populations, racial mixing is rare on a percentage basis. Just in the Philippines, with 100 million people, a few thousand marry white men in a year. That's a micro dot in the stats, and hardly something for anyone to worry about.

Worrying about this type of thing is perhaps an outlet for other anxieties. Whoever you are, find a good woman, and make it work. Life is short.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby The_Adventurer » Sat Sep 12, 2015 5:31 am

chanta76 wrote:How Chinese men feel? Do they get jealous and start cock blocking or they don't care?


They don't care. From what I have seen, most Chinese men seem to think like Rock. They see that foreigners go for a certain type of girl that they don't like and don't want. I have actually tested this with Chinese friends, sitting in a crowded place and pointing out girls. Sure enough, they don't like any of the girls I like and I don't like any of the girls they like. It's extremely rare that we agree.

Some might call this white worship, but I don't think it is, at least not conciously. They do look down on foreigners, especially in professional circles, and would rip them off in ways they would never do a local. Of course I mean same province local as they might rip off a Chinese from another province, who speaks a different language as well.

Some locals, and I saw or experienced this in evety country I have lived, will gladly hang out with a foreigner because, since girls often come in groups, they can get more too. They are not sneaky about it. They will tell the foreigner directly.

It should also be noted that when they see a girl with a foriegner, they never imagine it is serious. Theg assume she found an opportunity to rip someone off and they are happy for her.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby Yohan » Sat Sep 12, 2015 6:55 am

chanta76 wrote:1 -

I want you guys to be honest. Do you guys have a superiority complex and think your better than Asian men just because your banging an Asian girl? I think some of you do.I mean it's no different from a black guy bragging just because his black he can nab white girls.

-----

2 -

Shouldn't you be more grateful that there is some countries out there that will accept you or that you secretly wish you can go back in time when Europe colonize parts of Asia and you want to be in the action.


I think, these are 2 different questions, so I also write my answer in 2 parts.

1 -

This 'superiority complex' seems to exist only in the Anglosphere, UK, USA, South Africa etc.
Such ideas are not really common among people from Continental Europe.

I was working long time ago for several years for West African former French/Belgium colonies (some with a German past before WWI) and all black people I had to do with (all of them, no exemption, everybody from university professor to rich businessmen living in Paris with second house in Gabon or Cameroon to low-level workers, maids, drivers etc. from Burkina Faso and Togo) were laughing when this question was coming up and told me that such an idea about racism never existed for them. You have money, you have power and no money means you are in the garbage, black or white, male or female does not matter, same with the children, poor whites, regardless if boys or girls together with the poor blacks in a village elementary school, the rich ones, without any separation of race or sex in an expensive private school etc., no problem about mixed race people either, no problem about mixed race marriage.

About myself, I am open to all races. I never got the idea while living in Japan (with connections to Thailand and Philippines or elsewhere) that I am superior to Asian men because of my white race. - Many Asian men, not only in Japan, are much richer than I am, many are more intelligent than I am.

For example, all my medical doctors including dentists I have to consult since over 30 years are Japanese, Thai, Philippine, Malaysian etc. medical doctors, I never had the idea to avoid them because of my white race and to pay much more as a private patient for expensive foreign (mainly USA and Germany related) medical doctors in Japan or elsewhere. All the other Asian men, from barber to motorcycle repair shop workers, delivery services are Japanese or Thai etc. etc. I could not even avoid them, I am living in Asia and these Asian men are a part of my daily life.

2 -

Strange question!

You might better ask this question to these many Asian/African refugees arriving all the time with nothing in huge numbers and living now in Europe and Northern America.

I see no reason why I should be especially 'grateful' to Asian governments while living in their countries. I am not a refugee and I pay for my expenses AND those of my Asian family including my Filipina foster daughter. Yes, I am an immigrant to Japan, but I am a legal immigrant and even the salary I am earning is from working contracts related to semi-government related European bodies, but Japan was always good to me. I had never any visa problem, no problem with Japanese health insurance cover, rarely facing any discrimination by locals next to me, no family related problems...

About past and now in Africa and Asia, let me say, many African/Asian countries were in much better shape during colonization than they are now after their transfer to independence.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby Yohan » Sat Sep 12, 2015 7:52 am

OutWest wrote:... I am married to an Asian woman, with two Eurasian children from my first marriage, and one with my current wife. The reality is that within the vast East Asian populations, racial mixing is rare on a percentage basis. Just in the Philippines, with 100 million people, a few thousand marry white men in a year. That's a micro dot in the stats, and hardly something for anyone to worry about.


This is very true, mixed race marriage between Europe or USA/Asia is a tiny minority considering the entire population here in Japan.

Many of these couples are working for international trading companies, large hotels, Western restaurants, international schools, foreign government related offices, shipping companies, airline services, translators and so on and I do not think, that ordinary Japanese - who are often without any international connection at all - care much about them and their mixed race children.

Nowadays it's not always between Western man and Asian girl anymore. I noticed also a surprisingly trend to the other direction, there are now, totally unknown in the past, a noticeable number of women from Continental Europe here in Tokyo who decided to stay in Japan and are married with a Japanese man and have no intention to return to Europe.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby Yohan » Sat Sep 12, 2015 8:11 am

The_Adventurer wrote:
chanta76 wrote:How Chinese men feel? ...

...
They don't care. ...
...
They see that foreigners go for a certain type of girl that they don't like and don't want.


This is very true, not only among Chinese, but this is what you will hear very often somewhere in Thailand and also other Asian countries where foreign men are willing to settle down, and not only from local men, but also from girls. Asian men can be often rather choosy and demanding.

I know well about a white European man in his 50s and his Thai girl in her 20s and she is really running after him. She openly told me that not only she is from a poor rural place, has natural rather dark brown skin and there is nothing really attractive with her looks - but she had also a difficult surgery when she was only 14 years old and cannot get children. - A Thai husband who is serious with her? She told me, it's impossible.

For him this was the best what he could image to find - he does not want to have anything to do with children, but they both love animals very much and are chain-smokers - still together, now in his 70s and she in her 40s....
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby tjh14 » Sat Sep 12, 2015 10:07 am

It's quite easy to be superior to almost all Chinese men. They don't bathe or brush their teeth, drink and smoke too much and treat their women like crap. Not to mention being hung like hamsters. I've lived here six years and while Chinese women are generally beautiful, feminine and loving, the men just suck ass. I don't only feel superior to them, I am superior to them.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby zboy1 » Sat Sep 12, 2015 3:05 pm

tjh14 wrote:It's quite easy to be superior to almost all Chinese men. They don't bathe or brush their teeth, drink and smoke too much and treat their women like crap. Not to mention being hung like hamsters. I've lived here six years and while Chinese women are generally beautiful, feminine and loving, the men just suck a**. I don't only feel superior to them, I am superior to them.


Very harsh and unfair statement about Chinese men, tjh14. There might be some truth to your statements, but that only applies to some Chinese men, not all.

And I wouldn't give Chinese women a pass either. Some of them are hypergamous, materialistic, self-hating wrenches and deserve a lot of blame as well. How come Westerners never seem to blame Chinese women for their behavior, except experienced China travelers like Ghost, Falcon and others on this forum?

I already see the new generation of Asian men changing and becoming more manly and loving towards their women, but Asian women seem to be going in the opposite direction.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby zboy1 » Sat Sep 12, 2015 3:06 pm

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
zboy1 wrote:Pete, good stuff. That's what all men should do. The problem is a lot of men like to act like pompous asses with each other, thus breeding resentment.

Chanta, I agree that Westerners often spread negative impacts on foreign countries such as materialism, feminism and other 'isms' I can't stand. And, quite honestly, I've talked to a lot of expats and most of them agree as well. Currently, Western culture is really destroying itself with all kinds of nonsense, and I don't see any hope for it (unless someone like a David Duke or Marie Le Pen becomes President, which I doubt will happen, and I'm still unsure of Donald Trump at the moment).

As for Asia, I see hope with the younger generation of Asian men, and hope they don't become as emasculated, unimaginative and materialistic as the older generation of Asian men. You're already starting to see this happen, and I hope this trend continues. ...

You have represented yourself among the really decent expatriates here via all your posts on this thread. Thank you again, zboy1. Skype me tonight if you can.


Thanks man.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby Yohan » Sat Sep 12, 2015 4:30 pm

tjh14 wrote:It's quite easy to be superior to almost all Chinese men. They don't bathe or brush their teeth, drink and smoke too much and treat their women like crap. Not to mention being hung like hamsters. I've lived here six years and while Chinese women are generally beautiful, feminine and loving, the men just suck a**. I don't only feel superior to them, I am superior to them.


I think it is easy to replace 'Chinese men' with men of some other countries. It is all relative. For example life in Pakistan is BY FAR worse than in China.

If you read my comments in this forum about China, it is clear that I am not much in favor of communist mainland-China's government and its people, but your comment is by far over the top.

About Chinese women, I see no much reason to praise them either. Not all of them are a 'Chinese beauty' and not all of them are victims of men treating them like crap. Many of them are anything but angels.

Often Chinese women, not only those from mainland China, but from almost everywhere (Singapore, Malaysia, Canada, UK etc. etc.) can be very quarrelsome, have severe alcohol problems, are aggressively overdemanding towards men and extremely rude with children.

In general about China mainland, it's low-class female factory workers and women outside in rural areas are anything else but clean and beautiful girls. I do not blame them, as they do not know it better and have not enough income to improve themselves.
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Re: For the white guys here with asian girlfriend or wives

Postby tjh14 » Sat Sep 12, 2015 11:29 pm

I know it sounds arrogant but It's not over the top. You should be here and see the guys riding the bus with their fingers buried up to the knuckle picking their noses for 20 minutes. Or spitting on the sidewalk or relieving themselves in public. They are rude and cut in line and slap their women around. It's like Lord of the Flies. They are mostly but not all savages. I love the women here but generally despise the men. And it's not all societies fault; they see themselves as superior to other races and nationalities, very comical actually. BTW, the Chinese women would tend to agree or at least have nodded their heads in agreement when I have mentioned it. It is an huge advantage in dating and is the reason Westerners do well with the women here. It's practically impossible not to have young, beautiful women if you are just a normal guy from the west.
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