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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
The whole topic needs a cure. Anyone who thinks filipinas are subservient lap dogs is foolish . American women especially like to paint this caricature of Asian women, as part of their typical racist and anti-male smears.
It's a different world. Things don't translate so well.
The best descriptive terms are deference, cooperation and respect. Ask Janet about these terms...combined.
My wife is cooperative, humble, respectful...and FIERCE!
God help the poor fool who trespases with evil intent.
She can handle a bolo like a pro...she is also very quick with a switchblade. She routinely carried a very nice one when she rode a bus as a student, and I have seen her skills with a knife up close.
The life of a bride raider is a hard one...they will never understand.
People confuse being accommodating with being submissive. Anyone who thinks a Filipina is a pushover is in for a rude awakening. My Asawa to be has the sweetest smile but has that glint in her eyes that lets you know if the s*^& hits the fan you better run!
Exactly right. My wife's father gave her a very lethal switchblade when she was 14. She still has it.
In my piece I didn't get into the details of Janet's confrontation with her manager. She yelled and basically ripped him a new one. He deserved it but at the same time I feel sorry for him. He just kept apologizing and had no idea how else to appease her. She feels quite happy with herself now
I agree with Outwest and the rest of the comments. They are sweet, deferential, feminine and yet fierce.
Submissiveness is the correct word. Submitting means yielding, giving way, allowing. Yielding to a man's masculinity, and also to her own femininity. Allowing everything to be what it is. It's also surrendering.
http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/03 ... ubmissive/
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Of course in any culture there is variety. If you go to the Philippines you will meet a variety of personalities, just as you will anywhere. I just would encourage you to get out of the mindset that says you will find a submissive Pinay. As i said in the piece it is a stereotype, but in the case of the Philippines it's not a accurate stereotype.
By all means go the PI and meet women and you will see what I mean. It's actually a very attractive combination: humble, deferential, yet fierce and protective.A good one will protect you too. Another quick story. Last weekend I did a business deal that yielded me a fair amount of cash (no not that kind of deal ). I intended to deposit the money in the bank right afterwards. My wife insisted that I pick her up and she would go to the bank with me as my back up. I'm not worried I tried to tell her but she insisted. "You're 90 pounds. What are you going to do if something occurs?" Actually I knew what she would do! We went to the bank and she guarded me as I put the money in the ATM. That ain't submissive, but it's pretty cool. I know she's got my back.
Your best bet is simply to go to PI and see what I mean. Good luck on your search.
I think of submissive as recognizing that the husband is the leader and acting that way. Btw, my wife is Indonesian, rather than Filippino. I think a lot of Indonesian women would admit, if asked in the right way, that wives are supposed to submit to their husbands. They might not use those words. Christians are a minority there, but I think most girls who go to church there would say that wives are supposed to submit to their husbands.
As far as submission goes, I doubt you will find a race of women who are just naturally totally submissive. What you can find is individual women with submissive dispositions, and even in the US some women are naturally that way. You can also find women from cultures where the beliefs and actions of the people have taught them that wives are to submit to their husbands. You can find women who, from culture, religion, or whatever, have accepted the idea that they are supposed to submit to their husbands. But even with a combination of culture and belief system, a woman could still be unsubmissive at times.
By 'submissive', I don't mean she has no personality, or no desires, or no opinions, etc.
The problem with many western cultures is that it actually actively teaches against women being submissive to men, which is damaging to marriage. Women see disrespect and unsubmissiveness modeled on TV, in the movies, and in real life. They see the idea promoted by the media and maybe even the school system. It puts the man who marries a western woman at a disadvantage.
Now some women are exceptions. There are women raised in churches where they are taught to submit to their husbands, or they just had submissive moms and dads who led.
My wife knows she is supposed to submit to me, and she does a lot. But there have been times she hasn't and has apologized for it. She has outright disobeyed me a few times and apologized for it in the past. But she's gotten better about that. She will push for her ideas and opinions. I don't necessarily consider that unsubmissive most of the time. I don't make a practice of 'putting my foot down' on discussions of things. She used to make life unpleasant for me if she didn't get her way when we disagreed at times, which was unsubmissive behavior. I remember her doing that about wanting to throw away a desk, which was a stupid decision I went along with for peace, and ended up having to throw out a less sturdy desk and keep an old ugly one after we moved.
Overall, though, she believes in submitting to me, and makes an effort to at times when necessarily. I would appreciate a more submissive attitude at times, but she's also a kind of active, proactive person and I don't want to squash that either.
So don't expect a 'submissive race' of people. You can get the benefits of a wife raised in a culture where wives submitting to husbands was taught and expected. But she's still a woman, and you have to deal with the personality. You have to walk a fine line between not being domineering or suffocating to her, but also not putting up with disrespect and insisting on a certain level of submissiveness. That means calling her out if she gets bossy, treats you like a child, or won't yield when you have made a decision over which there is disagreement. That needs to be done with skill and tact. It's an on-going aspect of the relationship you have to manage. Maybe you'll get in a good groove after a while. And maybe you'll get that rare woman who is naturally submissive because she is either kind of passive or just hates conflict. If she hates conflict, you have to make sure she isn't seething underneath as wounds fester.
This is an excellent description - thanks! It's a complicated term. The purpose of my piece was to dissuade any one from believing they would find a doormat in the Philippines but I do believe that many women there want a man who can lead and make good decisions.
I am communicating with a girl and I am really embarrassed by the fact, though she is interested in me(she contacted me first & she answers nicely everything), I have asked her dozens of questions in order to know more about her, and she does not made even a single question to me, ever!
Shy, pathetic, humble? What do you think?
Is this a sign of submissiveness?
I feel like she is waiting to take a final decision about her, and choose her to be my mate!