Decoding Filipina online dating lingo

[firahs75]

Wow...online really is bullshit...turns out to be a huge waste of time each and every time.....what did they say about repeating the same mistakes over and over and expecting different results?

To those that found the diamond amidst the coal, more power to ya....but now I am beginning to see why almost everyone says to forget online and just meet girls on the ground.

I found a woman that's really top-shelf via online... did I just get lucky? Made contact in early April, lots of facebook chat, and then went to visit her in August. Chemistry in person was even better than online. She cried when we were saying goodbye. I've already bought my plane ticket to visit her during the time off I have for Christmas. We chat every day, and every day we feel a little bit closer. I'll probably relocate more or less permanently to the Philippines sometime in 2016. She's educated (BS degree), smart, kind, caring, easy going... and also super good looking. She's a great prize.

So how did I find her? On filipinocupid I used their search filters to search for EXACTLY what I wanted. Sure, some of the good traits I listed above can't be searched for directly, but some can be indirectly, or via careful reading of their profile. Search out what you want, and you're more likely to get it. How have you been going about your online searching? The ground game can work to be sure, but online I think can be good, especially for guys that want to meet women before they go over there*, or women they wouldn't normally come into contact with.

*Note: only works if you do eventually go over to visit her.

May I ask both your ages? In my hundreds of online interactions, I have yet to meet any Filipina under 25 that I would want to spend any amount of time with. Even some of the more mature ones play their share of stupid head games.

I am visiting Cebu at the end of the month so I have just been doing a search for women ages 24-32 in Cebu...I just don't see too many Filipinas over 34 or so that I find attractive. Of course many girls in the 18-24 bracket are super cute, but they are just too immature. Another thing that trips me out is how in alot of profiles the main pic looks nice but she just gets progressively uglier and fatter with each pic...its like the she wants you to know how good she used to look

I'll try to be more specific in my search parameters...I'm guessing the education will filter out alot of the undesirables. Hopefully its not like the states where the more educated they are the more feminazi they are....actually women of all stripes are pretty much horrible here.

[davewe]

Many girls mention 'accept me of who I am'.
What does this means?

She's a single mother, something that a Filipino man would likely not put up with, but a Western man may be suckered into accepting. Or she currently has, or at some point was the owner of, a penis.

While this is funny and has plenty of truth to it "accept me as I am" like "simple" is a pretty common expression among Filipinas. It might be a red flag but it is just as likely a statement that "I am from a poor family." Unlike in the West where we believe (rightly or wrongly) that class is mobile, in the Philippines the assumption is that if your family is poor you are doomed to be poor and that this is somehow a moral stain on you.

I have been married for 2+ years and known my wife for 4 years and she still cannot believe that I "accept" her family, despite the fact that they are poor. Believe me I score big points by "accepting" both her and her poor family.

Back to the OP. Yes, you should read the profile statements, but don't over analyze. The words do not always mean what we think they mean. Of course sometimes they are worse than we think Once again the best way is to quiz her thoroughly.

As to online dating, it is not for everyone. That being said of the 100+ Fil-Am couples I know locally I would say that 60% or more met online. Another 10+% were introduced online (a family member or friend) and while they didn't meet on a dating site, got to know each other online. 25-30% actually met boots on the ground. Of course if you have the time and ability to spend a significant amount of time in the Philippines, this is always a great strategy, but most guys don't.

[mentor]

Many girls mention 'accept me of who I am'.
What does this means?

She's a single mother, something that a Filipino man would likely not put up with, but a Western man may be suckered into accepting. Or she currently has, or at some point was the owner of, a penis.

While this is funny and has plenty of truth to it "accept me as I am" like "simple" is a pretty common expression among Filipinas. It might be a red flag but it is just as likely a statement that "I am from a poor family." Unlike in the West where we believe (rightly or wrongly) that class is mobile, in the Philippines the assumption is that if your family is poor you are doomed to be poor and that this is somehow a moral stain on you.

I have been married for 2+ years and known my wife for 4 years and she still cannot believe that I "accept" her family, despite the fact that they are poor. Believe me I score big points by "accepting" both her and her poor family.

It seem like having a caste social system.
It sounds like a rather 'fixed' social state for every family, if I understand well.
If this is true, then having this in mind, it could explain 'accept me as I am'.

[Zambales]

Wow...online really is bullshit...turns out to be a huge waste of time each and every time.....

I thought that but I see it differently now. It's a bit like playing a slot machine. You can wait ages before you win anything or you could hit the jackpot straight away. If you don't have luck you need to have patience. Of course, actually visiting the Phils is more advantangeous but the dating sites can be beneficial if you can weed out the undesirables and take your time.

I've been on the dating sites four times now. First time I met my ex who turned out to be a scammer. Second & third times were non productive and very disappointing and this included one Filipina wishing I would get kidnapped by Abu Sayyaf because I wouldn't pay her ferry journey to Iligan to visit her dying relative.

My last time (October) on a dating site was very good. I'm going over at the end of this month and I had several dates lined up but just recently I have decided to spend the whole three weeks with just one, who sounds very promising and ticks a lot of my boxes.

My preference in age has always been the same....late twenties and early thirties

[mentor]

'Live my/your life to the fullest'.
This is one of the usual phrases I see....so, what does this means?

[mentor]

'Adventurous'?

[Ghost]

.

[mentor]

I read this phrase often: 'loves me unconditionally"

Other girls mention 'willing to entertain you.'

[MR2]

Back to the OP. Yes, you should read the profile statements, but don't over analyze. The words do not always mean what we think they mean. Of course sometimes they are worse than we think Once again the best way is to quiz her thoroughly.

This ^

Read the profile, but look for stuff she is interested in like reading, dancing, karaoke, or wild sex aka wanna fun (good sign she is probably not long term relationship material) and go from there.

Most of the girls put the same stuff in their profile, and it means nothing aside from their interest which is good to mention, and ask her about. The whole point is to get over here and meet them as soon as possible. Even the really hot stuck up girls put meaningless stuff in their profile, but more often than not they put something that is of value such as "I am not a bargirl."

It is opposite world here. You are the prize. Think of your own country where women run the dating scene. Would you put what you thought they wanted to see in your profile in order to get one to talk to you, and possibly go out on a date? Now what would you do if you were broke, starving, unable to find work, and really wanted to get their attention?

[firahs75]

Hey I got a question. Soooo many girls that I chat with, especially those under 25, just have nothing to say....the whole interaction is them responding to my message without them really generating any meaningful dialogue...does this mean they are not really interested at all, or are they really that vapid?

[Zambales]

Could be they're either not interested or aren't too good at speaking English. I let them be because I find it laborious talking to these types.

[davewe]

Hey I got a question. Soooo many girls that I chat with, especially those under 25, just have nothing to say....the whole interaction is them responding to my message without them really generating any meaningful dialogue...does this mean they are not really interested at all, or are they really that vapid?

You're going to know within a few chats whether you have any chemistry. If you don't it doesn't necessarily mean anything other than you should move on - either you are not interested, she is not interested, or there is no more than a forced chemistry.

Quick story: I had chatted a few times with a Pinay. Attractive and educated but not much was happening chemistry-wise - just like what you described. She's at home and at one point tells me she is gonna have her lunch and I should chat with her sister. I was surprised she just dropped off but whatever, I thought. The sister comes on and she is polar opposite - a complete live wire and lots of chemistry. But she's 19 and I am thinking no way. Nonetheless over the next couple months she would chat with me. The original sister was never to be seen or heard from again. The 19 year old was very compelling and very interested. Finally I had to tell her she was too young. She argued the point but by then my mind was made up.

But it all turned out great. I met my now wife; the 19 year old turned 20, met an Australian and is now living in Oz married and with a child. Seems very happy. I am sure she keeps him happy.

So, go with your instincts. If the chemistry's not there move on to one with whom you have a connection.

[firahs75]

So I have 2 girls I am really interested in and want to spend time getting to know when I visit Cebu...Both are middle-class. One is 28 and the other is 25....the 28 year old is a single mom (one kid) and seems very grounded and all her messages are reserved yet polite and attentive. She is nice looking but a little chubby in a well proportioned, good way (looks are not the most important to me anyways), but I can sense that she is the real deal. I don't mind that she has a child because while it its not impossible, it would be difficult for me to have children of my own (had testicular cancer in my early 20's, but can function normally in every other aspect thank God).

I am really feeling her, because I can just sense from our interaction that she is really a good woman; and that is saying alot coming from me--having been raked over the coals in divorce court I tend to believe that 99.9% women are pure evil--cheaters, liars, and opportunists of the worst kind.

The other girl is 25. She is also sweet and pleasant, has a good job, and has a really hot body...like really hot; no kids ....but the thing that bothers me is she is a little self-absorbed....she is really into selfies and talking about herself...she is a good gal too but I don't get that humble vibe from her nor does she really ask me questions about what makes me tick like the other woman does. I mean she does somewhat, but the interaction is skewed more in favor of talking about herself.

Also, she is very active and very social...I by no means have old man syndrome, but I am 40 and my personality has always been somewhat mellow and laid back (being a californian).I am not up for going out all the time or big events...I prefer to have a one or two intimate friends than a bunch of superficial ones... at any rate, she really seems into me and even though i tried to break it off she has pursued me aggressively. Maybe I am misjudging her?

Just to put things into context that I am not aiming totally out of my league (and not trying to toot my own horn at all because I have eaten major humble pie when I was totally f*****d over by two females being the nice guy that i was), I am nice looking, highly educated, and have a very good job; but I am bronze-skinned because I am racially mixed (of Brazilian descent so European and African; i know Asians prefer whites). A lot of AW within 5 years of my age seem really interested, but f*** that...AW are the most disgusting women on the planet bar none, at any age, and the ones +5 years of my age tend to be sloppy and totally gross. Even the "nice looking" ones don't pass the boner test for me because once they open their worthless mouths I am totally turned off.

Well to get to my point, I would like to meet both of these women in person when I go to Cebu in two weeks. But I have a feeling that they will both be turned off if I am honest and say that I am meeting with another woman...I've found that Filipinas are insanely jealous even if they are two-timing you!!!

They both work during the same hours and know that I am coming to Cebu, so they will both probably expect to spend time with me after work or at the very least text/skype communication, which will not go down to well if I am on a date with the other...Suggestions on the best way to handle this? BTW, I am really looking for a partner and not just a short-term enjoyment.

[Zambales]

If you decide to meet both, don't tell them about the other one because it'll cause problems. It's a slight risk too since they live in the same city and there is a small chance of being caught out.

The 25 year old

Having dated a Filipina around the same age who aggressively pursued me, I must warn you that this type of Pinay can get unbelievably suffocating and annoying.

The 28 year old

Sounds more mature although I wouldn't be too enthused about her having a kid for several reasons. Is she married for one? If she is, just be aware the rules are different over there. An offended husband, separated or not, can cause serious problems.

Banged Up Abroad : Philippines : Prisoner of Love

[firahs75]

If you decide to meet both, don't tell them about the other one because it'll cause problems. It's a slight risk too since they live in the same city and there is a small chance of being caught out.

The 25 year old

Having dated a Filipina around the same age who aggressively pursued me, I must warn you that this type of Pinay can get unbelievably suffocating and annoying.

The 28 year old

Sounds more mature although I wouldn't be too enthused about her having a kid for several reasons. Is she married for one? If she is, just be aware the rules are different over there. An offended husband, separated or not, can cause serious problems.

Banged Up Abroad : Philippines : Prisoner of Love

Yeah, I saw that episode. Crazy.

The single mom has never been married. Can you share your reservations about single moms aside from the obvious drawbacks ($$$; you will always be number 2)?

Thanks for the feedback!