I wouldn't choose a mother because I don't want to bring up someone else's kid basically but if you don't mind doing that, fair enough, but you would have to find out about the father's circumstances. As for her saying she's married, women have been known to lie about these things. Be aware of that.firahs75 wrote:Yeah, I saw that episode. Crazy.Zambales wrote:If you decide to meet both, don't tell them about the other one because it'll cause problems. It's a slight risk too since they live in the same city and there is a small chance of being caught out.
The 25 year old
Having dated a Filipina around the same age who aggressively pursued me, I must warn you that this type of Pinay can get unbelievably suffocating and annoying.
The 28 year old
Sounds more mature although I wouldn't be too enthused about her having a kid for several reasons. Is she married for one? If she is, just be aware the rules are different over there. An offended husband, separated or not, can cause serious problems.
Banged Up Abroad : Philippines : Prisoner of Love
The single mom has never been married. Can you share your reservations about single moms aside from the obvious drawbacks ($$$; you will always be number 2)?
Thanks for the feedback!
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Yeah I hear ya. A single mom is not ideal, but there is the very real possibility that I will not be able to have kids of my own (due to a previous health issue). I dont really care if i have kids or not (preferably not) but I know Filipinas are big into having kids, so I don't how they would handle the possibility of not having any if they dont already have one. There is always adoption i guess, but that is a whole other set of issues.
I hope to meet both in person without any drama. The 25 yo is quite attractive but just a bit self-absorbed for my tastes. She is like the queen of the selfies. Maybe in person she will be different. She did write in her profile that she is caring and affectionate, but it is hard to gauge through online interaction, although some girls do put out that kind of vibe even if it just online communication.
For the past month or so, I have also been having a daily video chat with a cute 19 yo college student from Mindanao. She has agreed to take off from school and meet with me for a few days. As I stated before, I am not looking just for notches, but for a partner, so my only reservation is her age.
I am very, very skeptical of women in general but so far she has passed all the tests--she has never once even hinted at anything related to money and didn't bat an eye when I said that I wanted to live permanently in Phil and not the USA (she just asked if we could visit the US so she could meet my family). She always seems genuinely happy to see me and she messages me like clockwork in the morning and evening (unless she doesn't have load) so that we can video chat. Now it has been a little over one month and she says she loves me. Not sure if you can really fall in love with someone you've only seen online, so I am still a very, very long way from trusting her completely.
Is it really possible that a cute 19 yo filipina could really be genuinely in love with a 40 year old guy (I'm in pretty decent shape) and would actually be loyal? As you know this would never happen in the USA.
Sure, very possible As for trusting her completely, well she's only human. Don't ever trust anyone completely. In fact, I don't even trust myself all the time lol.
Some young Filipinas who are mature way beyond their years (ready to settle down) and who would make great wives and mothers still may hedge their bets by entertaining more than one guy (several lines in the water) until she gets a solid commitment from one of them. So don't expect much yet. But it sounds like from what you write, she very well may be putting all her focus on you at this time.
So get over to see her as soon as you can to figure it out. Great luck.
Age difference and looks isn't top priority for most Pinays. Being a good faithful husband is and while they don't mind settling down early they still can be very immature (as in childish).
I'm around the same age as you Firahs, and I wouldn't want a woman who is young enough to my daughter but that's just my preference. Also, whereabouts in Mindanao is she? If it's in the west, I wouldn't bother, as travelling to that part can be risky.
At the end of the day there are around 100 million people in the Philippines so how many single women aged 25-35 would there be for example? Loads!
The key here is not to rush into anything and take your time choosing. You are more likely to find your ideal woman this way.
She lives in Butuan which seems to be pretty safe. I was thinking of meeting her there and then spending our time elsewhere like Camiguin or Boracay. Ordinarily I would not consider a girl so young, but she has a very mature attidtude and so far she has passed all of the basic tests. We'll see how it goes...
Butuan should be fine.
There are flights to Camiguin and Butuan from Cebu and a ferry to Camiguin from Cebu. If you decide to do both Camiguin and Butuan, go via Balingoan in Mindanao. It has a port which connects Camiguin and is on the road to Butuan thus saving a lot of time by missing out Cagayan de Oro.
I was in Butuan and visited my girlfriend Hazel.
I recommend GO Hotel. It is the best Hotel in town and new. Rooms are around $20 a night.
Red Palms Suites is also a nice hotel.
Cheapest way is to buy a flight from Manila or Cebu. Flights will cost about $150. Philippines Airlines has good deals.
Yes! When I first started talking to my wife (filipina from Iligan City) she was 21 years old and I was 40. Just take your time and get to know her very well before committing to marriage. Hope it works out well for you!!
I'm guessing it means travelling, going out to movies, eating, and drinking etc all on your dime....nothing wrong with that per say...I am willing to provide that in exchange for 100% unwavering devotion and loyalty....
Last edited by firahs75 on November 19th, 2015, 12:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
No! Not necessarily the case at all. When I first visited my wife, she had a nice office/sales job in Cebu. She insisted that she pay for a few meals and I let her pay That was her way of letting me know that she wasn't a freeloader just waiting around for a two legged ATM machine.
I really appreciated her offer. Sure I ended up paying 80% of everything but she did put up a fight to pay more than she did. But this train of thought continues now that we are married. My wife has a good job. All expenses sent back to her family are paid by her.
I will preach to this forum until I'm blue in the face but it's extremely important to make sure that the girl that you marry is an ASSET to your family and not a LIABILITY. What do I mean by this? There are thousands upon thousands of ladies in the Philippines who fall asleep every night dreaming of meeting a nice foreign man.
There are a lot of Negative Nancy's on this forum. Truth be told is that meeting a Filipina is easy...kind of like fishing with dynamite. The prudent man will take his time, do his research and strive to find the higher caliber lady preferably with a bit of education and smarts. So if you do opt to bring her back to your home country you don't want her sitting around the house watching Eat Bulaga and snacking on bon bons all day. Get a girl that can go get a good job and contribute!!!!
Really, it's not all the difficult to do.
Ugghh...the idea of bringing another woman to this country chills me to the bone (see my brief post about my first marriage in the following thread at the end of the page: viewtopic.php?f=48&t=24853&start=45)
This 19 yo woman i am talking with seems like she would be a great asset...she is a college student in Mindanao studying elementary education and works for a rich family....she does everything for them from the accounting, to the childcare, to the yard work, to the cooking (and according to her boss she is a fantastic cook).
Such a woman would be a tremendous asset to any family. But my spidey sense tells me not to trust her...We have only known each other via skype video chats, so how can the love she professes be true?
I did not bring up the subject at all, but at first she told me that she would only sleep with me if I married her (she is not a virgin so ROTFLMAO)....i told her that was not going to happen....I once made the mistake of waiting until marriage with a girl from church, as I was stupidly trying to follow biblical principles in choosing a woman (it was my second marriage; the sex SUCKED!!!--missionary only, no BJ's). I will never do that again under any circumstances. I still have faith in God and all but I guess He just wanted to play a cruel joke on me there.
Anyways, now after one month she has kind of changed her tune and has subtly acquiesced to sleeping with me during my visit. She has sought assurance that i will not leave her if we sleep together. Apparently she has only been with one guy and he took her virginity and dumped her immediately after--leaving her heartbroken and traumatized (rolleyes; maybe its true). So she also sought assurance that if she gets pregnant i will take care of the child....i dunno...seems kinda weird?!?!?!?
But when you are 40 it is kinda hard to resist 19 y.o. poon. Don't wanna be a dick and just pump and dump, but I would love it if I could really trust her as I am far past the point of just wanting sex for sex's sake....she just seems a bit too eager to be in a relationship with me...something seems kinda off, but only slightly...at 19 years of age, can she really be that much of an expert in western male manipulation? The other girls I have met that were straight up gold diggers have been remarkably crude or stupid in their approach; laughably so.