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Distant & close relationship and second thoughts

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Posts: 469
Joined: July 27th, 2015, 6:52 pm

Distant & close relationship and second thoughts

Post by mentor » February 7th, 2016, 3:28 pm

I really try to understand.
And please tell me from your experience what all these means.
I talk with some filipina girls. Many of them, told me about distant relationships they had, or they expect to have.
Ok, I understand that mating with a western man, usually starts as a long distance relationship.
But, how it usually goes?
I read from them several things and I try to find some patterns.

A girl told me that she was in a distant long term relationship, 4 years, that finally broke. Does this means that they never were actually together? Maybe only in holidays?

Other girl, targeting to me, told me that it is not necessary to be together now, we start and we see it in the future.
Very ‘open’ situation I think.
And I feel like I could have this ‘distant’ relationship forever, if I do not decide to bring her close to me!
And then I am thinking: am I missing something?

On one hand, this status make me feel more flexible, and not pressed to take serious decisions now, for the rest of my life, as my intention is to find a lifetime partner and not fun. But, I will not ‘press’ things or be in a hurry. I will give time to test the girl, and of course meet her some day.

On the other hand, I am trying to navigate in these girls’ minds.
What do they expect?
I read a lot of documents and opinions in happierabroad and elsewhere, telling how hard is for an asian/filipina girl, to find a serious and good relationship, and that’s the main reason they look for foreigners, who are not saints too! Many girls told me about filipino guys that cheat them! They are disappointed from filipino guys for many reasons, so they look abroad.
Many documents tell that ‘seeking a foreigner is the best investment an asian girl can make’! Whether is bad or good girl!
From this perspective, I understand that these girls want a relationship with a foreigner, ‘whatever it takes’. So, ‘distant relationship’ with a foreigner, is better than ‘no relationship’ or ‘bad relationship with a filipino guy’. Right? Do they risk it, having to lose nothing, and they hope to become a normal-close relationship in the future? Is this what they really expect?
Or they want someone to hook, just to be more safe for the future, even if this does not lead to normal/close relationship?

My mind now goes to ‘money’ matter.
Lets say you find a good girl, and not a gold-digger.
If you start a distant relationship, like it is the most possible scenario at the start, is it possible that they have in their mind to ask for money, some time later, and even if you are just in distant relationship? Does this happen? Does this happen…often?
Or they just throw themselves in ‘distant relationship’ hopping to proceed to the close relationship someday?
After all, if a girl has a ‘distant relationship with 2 or 3 guys simultaneously’, and some of them give her some money, then she gained paradise by just giving nothing but lies!
I am not telling all girls are fake, but I am trying to understand, for the case of a rather good girl, how she thinks about the distant relationship.

Give me your opinions and experience.

Freshman Poster
Posts: 469
Joined: July 27th, 2015, 6:52 pm

Re: Distant & close relationship and second thoughts

Post by mentor » February 8th, 2016, 11:20 am

I also wonder, how it is to start a relationship as a distant one.
I know about relationships that they were distant for some time, but they had started as normal/close relationships.
Starting a relationship as distant from the very first moment, and then become a normal/close one, is something that I would like to have additional information.

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