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I'm Moving to China.

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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I'm Moving to China.

Postby Eric » Wed Jun 08, 2016 12:13 am

I don't have much good things to relay, now. I'd rather not think about it, as much as possible, until I move. I don't like the culture here. It has really nothing to offer, other than depravity. However, trying to be a good person lands you no points. Some things you just can't do. I can't reconcile life here, with life living overseas. My mind can't contrast the two.
I can't very well be a good person here, I try to - but I walk outside; and I see so many "bad" people, and degraded and depraved, with no values...that it seems like I'm a target, to be good. So, it's easier to blend here. It's not so bad, when you don't think about anything else.
If when I think about my life in China, that's when it starts getting painful. I know it's different, the cultural dynamics are different. When I think about it, I get sad.

I feel I want it now, and it makes me sad to think about real relationships; talking with people and forming bonds.
Anyways, I figure my best strategy is not to think about it. Just go on ahead and do what I'm doing.
I feel bad, however, when juxtapose the act of being kind & niceness, with the meanness that I see here. I walked into a Thai restaurant and saw the waiter bow to me, he was polite, respectful and courteous. If you do that here, you will get used or played.
I tried or attempted - but I can't. It's just too hard. And I get tired of encountering and meeting people who are just rude. It's easier to just go numb and not care about it - till I leave. Everything just seems so fast-paced, intimidating, modern. I think this is the struggle - I want some things that are not valued anymore, like slowing down, getting to know someone...not pushing ahead. When I try to know someone here, they automatically think you are a creep. You must always be rushing ahead acting as if, there is something to achieve.
I'll think about what I'll miss when I move to go leave here. Mostly from, I think comments from my Mother or other friends or people who've said similar comments to me... you know "You have everything. Do you think it's going to be better anywhere else? - you'll be miserable". The usual tripe that you hear. But, I also think I'll maybe feel this way.
I find it hard to care considerably about anything, or take anything seriously. It's even hard to turn on my human - side, while I'm still in USA. Like I said, it's better to keep it off until, I get out of here. It kind of makes you really think about what's going on, when you leave, what you're leaving - what you'll be missing. You don't have a choice.
The depression, and lack of anything real, makes it hard to care about anything here. It all feels fake, contrived. Even when people are sincere, it still feels phony. It's really sad, I don't know if it's just me. I don't even want to go outside, and be around people. To me, people don't offer anything but superficiality - so I don't try. When I try to, it's always like people just ignore it - they are so wrapped up. It's not that they don't like it, they are just acting like everyone else. I guess I should still try.
I have trouble here. I really do. I've never been more troubled than living in America. I feel like I'm always at a guessing game, or confused, or not knowing what to do. I feel like I'm acting like all kinds of different 'things', and it's hard to know my self - again.


Anyways, counting down my days.
-"Virescit vulnere virtus"
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby Yohan » Wed Jun 08, 2016 4:25 am

There are advantages and disadvantages, maybe you should make a list, about both China and USA, something like a spread sheet to have a better overview.

The important point is you must decide, either here or there. You cannot settle down in 2 different countries, many hours away by airplane.

Maybe you should consider other countries as well, why only China and USA?
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby cdnFA » Wed Jun 08, 2016 9:46 am

In ancient China this guy asked a city guard about the nature of the people in his city. The guard asked him how people were in his home town and he heaped a lot of praise on them. The guard told him that the folks in his city were the same way.

Another guy came by and asked the same question. Guard asked him about his home town and he ranted and roared like a true British sailor about their levels of suck. Guard told him that folks in his city were just as bad.

No point finishing the joke as the point is obvious.


Not that this always applies. I've lived in 4 cities, unlike the first three, my current abode has plenty of fail. In my defence for the first 4 or 5 years I'd hear locals slag the city pretty hard and didn't get it, it took time to grok it. However I think the above joke does make a somewhat valid point.

I've noticed that you complained about materialism in the past. You above complain about rudeness.
I don't think China is for you. I suppose if you can find a girl who will suck your dick than these things would be more tolerable but still.
China is kind of known for materialism and rudeness.

You might find Japan a bit more your speed.
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby retiredfrank » Wed Jun 08, 2016 9:56 am

Don't discourage him. He's obviously in a rut and needs to do something drastic to get out of it. But yes, if politeness, courtesy, respect for one's fellow man is what he is seeking, there are probably better places than China. Best advice is to go ahead and go to China, but have fallback plan.
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby cdnFA » Wed Jun 08, 2016 6:04 pm

retiredfrank wrote:Don't discourage him. He's obviously in a rut and needs to do something drastic to get out of it. But yes, if politeness, courtesy, respect for one's fellow man is what he is seeking, there are probably better places than China. Best advice is to go ahead and go to China, but have fallback plan.


Better to go to the best place possible for his individual preferences.

If China or where ever he goes fails him I can see that rut turning suicidal. I know it would be devastating for me if I went overseas and faceplanted in one way or another.
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby Eric » Thu Jun 09, 2016 1:12 am

I think by far China still has a respectful, courteous, reserved and polite Asian culture thing going for it - it will be far easier than the US. No materialism mentality compares to USA, not by a longshot - nothing comes even close.

Besides, I don't see China as rude, not in the sense that you mean or most people think about. They'd say it is rude- but I can tolerate that. I get rude people, it's different than the rudeness here, And I can't explain that. People here are purposely rude. There, their just rude by necessity, if that makes sense.

I still see them as respectful generally in the culture. People rushing in front of me or bumping me out of a way to get into a subway, to me isn't rude. It's in a weird way, their culture. They're still polite. That's how I think.

An asshole American Jersey Shore guido looking guy with sprayed muscle-shirt on that walks in front of you while mean mugging everyone; expecting them to stop and pay attention to them, is rude. Blacks, Mexicans or Whites blasting rap in their car is obnoxiously rude. A whole entire culture of rudeness is RUDE, so is obnoxious feminism.

That's rude.
-"Virescit vulnere virtus"
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby Ghost » Thu Jun 09, 2016 6:57 am

The materialism thing is a bit overblown. It's definitely true for Beijing, Shanghai, and perhaps other mega-metropolises. For most of the country, however, it's much less materialistic than, say, the U.S. Lots of hometown people and family reigns supreme in most of the country.

The country is "rude" by Western standards, but in China it's normal. Shoving, for example. It's just their way of moving crowds forward. It's not intended to be rude. Things like that you've just got to become accustomed to.

Strangers are treated like dirt (if something goes wrong, like an auto accident) but friends are treated like gold.

I'm no China apologist, but I've found the social atmosphere much better than the West's and made good friends from the Middle Kingdom. And if you want to teach there, plenty of jobs, especially if you want to teach kids. And the money will be enough to live well and save.
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby The_Adventurer » Thu Jun 09, 2016 12:52 pm

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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby xiongmao » Fri Jun 10, 2016 12:18 pm

Good luck with the move. I lived in China (3 years ago) and there were good and bad things about the whole experience.

Good:

Dating paradise.
Plenty of teaching jobs.
People generally friendly although 99% could only say "Hello".
Low general cost of living.
Mainland Mandarin/written language easier to learn that what you'll find in HK, Taiwan or elsewhere.
Public transport great in cities.
Less hassles with fellow foreigners than in Thailand.
Crazy stuff happened every day I was there.
Had a whole body check in a hospital for $100.

Bad:

Nobody really spoke English, and just putting money on my mobile phone was a difficult task.
Poor food quality.
Pollution.
Very crazy weather.
Crime.
Durian everywhere.
Quite restrictive lifestyle (e.g. you can only legally live in certain places).
In February 2013 I quit my boring job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby Winston » Sat Jun 18, 2016 9:38 pm

Eric wrote:I think by far China still has a respectful, courteous, reserved and polite Asian culture thing going for it - it will be far easier than the US. No materialism mentality compares to USA, not by a longshot - nothing comes even close.

Besides, I don't see China as rude, not in the sense that you mean or most people think about. They'd say it is rude- but I can tolerate that. I get rude people, it's different than the rudeness here, And I can't explain that. People here are purposely rude. There, their just rude by necessity, if that makes sense.

I still see them as respectful generally in the culture. People rushing in front of me or bumping me out of a way to get into a subway, to me isn't rude. It's in a weird way, their culture. They're still polite. That's how I think.

An asshole American Jersey Shore guido looking guy with sprayed muscle-shirt on that walks in front of you while mean mugging everyone; expecting them to stop and pay attention to them, is rude. Blacks, Mexicans or Whites blasting rap in their car is obnoxiously rude. A whole entire culture of rudeness is RUDE, so is obnoxious feminism.

That's rude.


I agree with Ghost. The rudeness in China is exaggerated. The truth is, mainland Chinese are more blunt and direct. To me that's honest and genuine, not rude. It's refreshing and I prefer it. Also, the pushing and shoving part is on a necessary to do basis. They only do that in train stations and subway stations that are too crowded so that if they don't, they will miss the train. (But I guess since Tokyo is crowded too and they don't do that, maybe there's alternatives.) But usually Chinese will not do that in normal places. For example in a typical shopping mall, no one will be pushing and shoving. It's just that China is overcrowded, so it's hard not to push and shove. But even that is exaggerated. They only push and shove in overly crowded areas, not in normal areas.

China has a much more positive social vibe than America and Taiwan. That I can guarantee. It is easier to talk to strangers. It's not like the US and Taiwan, where a stranger is a stranger and to be ignored, and only talk to strangers if it's business related. In China, people are much more open and positive about meeting new people and are warmer about it. That's for sure. I spent almost 7 months there and that is a definite big difference.

But just because it's easier to talk to strangers and women in China, doesn't mean it's easy to get a girlfriend there. Chinese girls are picky and selective. They may be friendly and social. But dating and romance is another issue. It depends on whether you meet their taste and standards or not. But in a country like China with 1.4 billion people, there should be a woman that likes you somewhere. The problem is finding her. lol

China is also a dynamic vibrant excitiing place. It's like another world or universe. The drawback in China is that it has a workaholic culture. And people work too much. So it's not perfect. But for meeting girls and talking to strangers, it definitely has a much more positive vibe.

That doesn't mean everyone will be open and friendly though. Of course many women in China prefer to mind their own business and not talk to you. However, if say 10 out of 100 women are willing to talk to you and get to know you, that's a lot of people, since 10 percent is a lot of people of course. So even if 90 percent ignore you, that 10 percent is a lot of women, potentially in the millions.

Plus, Chinese women still have good traditional values, like women had in the 1950's and prior. So that's refreshing.

My advice would be to try China out, then Thailand, Philippines, Vietnam, etc. and see where you fit in best. When you go to a country, the universe or your higher self or God or your guardian angels, will usually give you signs and omens about whether you belong there or not. That's my philosophy and experience.

Btw, keep in mind that while China doesn't have as many political freedoms and internet freedoms that America has, it does have more social freedoms and personal freedoms. For example, you can talk to strangers and women without feeling like a creep. You can talk about racial differences and gender differences. You don't have to be as politically correct. You can be more honest. You don't have to be fake and always say that you're "doing great" when someone asks how you are. Etc.

See my list of freedoms you get in China and Russia here:
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=25796

Also check out this podcast I did with two Asian guys about the freedoms and benefits that China offers that you don't get in America. Many have said it's very eye-opening and inspiring.

http://www.happierabroad.com/podcasts/china-comparisons-freedoms.mp3
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby momopi » Sun Jun 19, 2016 9:41 pm

Winston wrote:I agree with Ghost. The rudeness in China is exaggerated. The truth is, mainland Chinese are more blunt and direct. To me that's honest and genuine, not rude. It's refreshing and I prefer it. Also, the pushing and shoving part is on a necessary to do basis. They only do that in train stations and subway stations that are too crowded so that if they don't, they will miss the train. (But I guess since Tokyo is crowded too and they don't do that, maybe there's alternatives.) But usually Chinese will not do that in normal places. For example in a typical shopping mall, no one will be pushing and shoving. It's just that China is overcrowded, so it's hard not to push and shove. But even that is exaggerated. They only push and shove in overly crowded areas, not in normal areas.


I've been on the train in Tokyo and can confirm that they do push and shove when it's crowded.
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby momopi » Sun Jun 19, 2016 9:53 pm

Yohan wrote:There are advantages and disadvantages, maybe you should make a list, about both China and USA, something like a spread sheet to have a better overview.
The important point is you must decide, either here or there. You cannot settle down in 2 different countries, many hours away by airplane.
Maybe you should consider other countries as well, why only China and USA?


There's a 3rd option of being a PT. My SO's younger cousin has a GF in HK. He came over for flight school and is planning to become a pilot for EVA or China Air first then Cathay Pacific.

If anyone wants to consider such a career move, keep in mind that if you ever fail your physical later on, you're out.
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby Eric » Mon Jun 20, 2016 10:42 am

This is the problem is I DON'T speak Chinese! ...how can I interact and talk with strangers here?
That's the biggest drawback, I feel so far. Plenty of hotties and nice girls here. The people seem friendly enough, albeit reserved - so sometimes it's hard to tell.

I want to talk to more people. I feel this lingering sense (don't know if it's just in my head) that I might be looked at as a fool if I try to go up and talk to people. Almost like- I sense to myself that they may want their culture to themselves, and that I can't join them. Is this me, or is this the Chinese feeling?
I'm sort of paranoid about being too American, being loud ....also if I talk to a Chinese girl some China man coming up to hit me. It sounds stupid but I worry about it.
I want to be free and happy, but I don't know what I can do. Will the Chinese look at me as stupid for trying to talk to them? Should I just stay quiet?
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby chanta76 » Mon Jun 20, 2016 4:10 pm

Eric,

Learn chinese than. Not an easy language to learn but still if your going to live there common senses say learn the language as best you can and make an effort.
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Re: I'm Moving to China.

Postby Winston » Tue Jun 21, 2016 2:46 am

Eric wrote:This is the problem is I DON'T speak Chinese! ...how can I interact and talk with strangers here?
That's the biggest drawback, I feel so far. Plenty of hotties and nice girls here. The people seem friendly enough, albeit reserved - so sometimes it's hard to tell.

I want to talk to more people. I feel this lingering sense (don't know if it's just in my head) that I might be looked at as a fool if I try to go up and talk to people. Almost like- I sense to myself that they may want their culture to themselves, and that I can't join them. Is this me, or is this the Chinese feeling?
I'm sort of paranoid about being too American, being loud ....also if I talk to a Chinese girl some China man coming up to hit me. It sounds stupid but I worry about it.
I want to be free and happy, but I don't know what I can do. Will the Chinese look at me as stupid for trying to talk to them? Should I just stay quiet?


Not really. If you come with me to China, I can show you how easy it is to talk to girls there. Ethan_sg and I had fun doing that a lot. It's ok to talk to them and ask a polite question. From then on, you can gauge how interested and friendly she is. If she is friendly you can flirt more and ask for her contact info, etc. It's sort of a numbers game. But talking to strangers isn't taboo in China. As long as you do it politely. Chinese are direct and not afraid to talk to strangers themselves. They are pretty straightforward. So me doing the same fits into the flow, a lot more than it does in the US that's for sure. What part of the US are you from?

In the US, strangers are not to be talked to unless it's for business. Otherwise, you are supposed to mind your own business. After high school, people close up into a bubble and don't want to meet people, or connect with others, or make friends anymore. It's really weird. Some foreign countries are like this too, like Taiwan and Japan and Singapore. But majority of countries are not like that. Also depends on how you look like too.

Btw, if you cold approach a Chinese girl, and her boyfriend comes up, you can just pretend like you were asking for directions, while smiling at the boyfriend or husband. Before approaching, you should scan the area to see if the girl you are talking to is alone or with someone. If she is alone, you can ask her, "are you alone? are you with anyone?"

When you going to China? Maybe you can meet up with me there.

Btw, check out this video by this white guy in China named Winston. He addresses the question "Are Chinese girls easy?" while standing on the streets in Shenzhen. During the video, some girls interrupt him on the street and talk to him. So you can see in the video that talking to female strangers is easy in China. He then asks them if they prefer white guys or black guys, and they all say white guys. lol. He basically concludes that getting a girlfriend in China is easy if you're a white guy and decent looking. But that it's harder if you are darker skinned. I'm not sure if those girls that approached him are staged though. It happened twice. Because girls don't usually like to interrupt people who are filming something or doing a narration on camera. But you can see how friendly and open Chinese girls are when they cold approach Winston during his video.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So0wXRR8BYU[/youtube]
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