Philippines general questions

[mentor]

From what age and after, filipinas consider themselves rather older girls?
With less chances for a good luck for a good relationship?

[publicduende]

From what age and after, filipinas consider themselves rather older girls?
With less chances for a good luck for a good relationship?

I have been living in Davao for 18 months now. I am by no mean "an authority" but, willy nilly, I have gotten to understand Filipino culture and psychology as these are the people I have to interact with on a daily basis.

It depends what you mean by "older girl". In Manila many girls have the chance to land an interesting, well paid or career-prone job and will delay the age of their marriage and/or their first baby, like anywhere else in the civilised world. However in places like Davao, where such opportunities are scarcer and the typical "good job" for a girl is to work in a corporate office, most "good girls" are engaged by the time they finish college (19/20) and married a couple of years later. On that metric, a 23/24-yo who doesn't have a boyfriend, who isn't married yet or who doesn't have kid is not considered "prime material" by fellow Filipinos. Believe me or not, Filipino men are that selective when it comes to their girls.

Consider that these "good girls" who come from decent families, have jobs and are marriage minded wouldn't even begin to entertain the notion of hooking up with a foreigner. Whatever their notion of young or old is, it won't concern you.

If we, then, are talking about the subset of Davaoenas who will entertain a foreigner, then we're talking girls whose families will have no money to put them through college, who - even if they do get a degree - could be aspiring at a night shift BPO job at best and who are so strapped for cash that will consider being with any man who is not too old, not too hideous looking and showing a hint of willingness to start a serious relationship. Sometimes their families are putting pressure on them to find ways to support them, especially if families are from the province and they're the ones "sent to the city" to work.

As far as I have seen, these kinds of girls could be as young as 19 and have no qualms being with a 40+, sometimes even 50+ foreign man. Forget the notion that they are with you for love, though. They know what they can give you and they know what they want to get back. The good news is: treat them well and they will be reasonably sweet and loyal to you...although Davao isn't exactly the Holy Land anymore (if it has ever been) and a large number of girls will jump to a better foreigner or a Filipino given a chance.

By far the best thing you can do is come down in person. Much faster and much easier to find them.

And one more piece of advice: forget Filipino Cupid, AFA or those paid-for sites. The kinds of girls you can find there are exactly the same types of girls you will find on Date in Asia, OK Cupid, Skout or Tinder, which are (largely) free.

[mentor]

publicduende thanks for your thorough analysis. Very useful indeed.
My experience is from online dating.
After spending time almost for nothing with smaller ages like 18-25, that usually end with some indirect request for any kind of support(studies, mobile internet etc),
though these ages could aggregate more chances for less relationships with men (which I consider good),
I decided to go in a bit older ages, like 25-32, in order to find more mature girls in mind and attitude, that have less time/chances for playing games, asking requests, or just chatting for fun....
The responses from this target group seem more mature indeed, and I feel more comfortable too.
But I asked about ages, in order to know their mindset and adapt my strategy accordingly.

I did not had the chance to contact with any Manila or Angeles girls, but the vast majority are from Cebu, Davao, or other cities.
So I wanted to have an idea for 25+-32 ages, in such areas, but you analyzed it well and I think I get what you said....

[publicduende]

In short: if you are 40 or older, do not come to the Philippines to look for a young wife, unless you are prepared to:

1) ditch all dating websites (nowadays they're only good for pump & dump quality women) and embark in your own very "journey of discovery";
2) spend weeks to months here, roaming third and fourth-class cities and remote townships in Visayas o Mindanao, often long hours drive apart, on bumpy minivan or bus rides;
3) accept a girl with little or no education, no knowledge of the world or a relationship with a man, and an entire family that will - sooner or later - depend on you for constant support;
4) accept a girl whose features are much less desirable to Filipinos than they are for you - morenas (dark skinned) might look healthy, slender and sexy to us foreigners, but they're second or third choice for the locals, and that is exactly why they are so happy to leave them to us.

Remember: in the Land of the Morning, if a girl looks too good to be true, she certainly is. 99% of the cases, the reasons why she is looking for foreigners are either or both of these two:

1) because she can't find what she needs in the local pool of men, or because the men she could get given her looks/status would be rock bottom: lazy, unreliable, unfaithful, violent, etc.;
2) because she (and her family) knows she will never be able to support herself and her family unless she finds a foreigner to latch on to; love or lust have nothing to do with it: it is a necessity pure and simple.

In short: if you are OK with it, good, else you need to suck it up.

Unless we are celebrities, or Fil-[something] mestizos back in town, or young unmarried and flawless looking boys, we Caucasian foreigners are always second and third choices for Filipinas. And conversely: the Filipinas we can find are always second and third choice ladies. From what I have seen, the only exceptions seem to be young Koreans, because of the great resonance of their pop culture with young Filipinos. Even Japanese young men, who could find good girls once upon a time, now have to resort to marry the occasional Pinay strip club dancer on a short visa in Japan.

Again, sorry for being such a killjoy (which is part of the reason why I stopped posting here - whatever I have to say will go against the going fairy tale narrative), but this is today's reality in the Philippines.

Take it or leave it.